More Sexy Than Kokomo!
Feeling libidinous?
If not, you’re an odd Bloomingtonian. At least acc’d’g to the latest Movoto poll which lists our town as the third sexiest place in Indiana.
I suppose that’s like being named the third most powerful Democrat in Texas or the third best player on the Philadelphia 76ers.
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I mean, LaFayette is considered a sexier place than this megalopolis. And we just barely edged out Kokomo.
Kokomo?
Yes, Kokomo.
Movoto, in case you didn’t know (and I’m fairly confident you didn’t) is a real estate relocation website, whatever than means. A lightning-quick and cursory scan of the site (the only possible kind of scan I could bear) shows it to be, by and large, an advertisement for every single metropolitan area in this holy land. So, if your tyrannical boss wants to transfer you to the branch office in Paint Lick, Kentucky, you go to Movoto to see what the amenities and attractions are there. (In case you’re interested, the answer is none.)
Yep, There Is A Paint Lick
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So, this poll finds that the hot, sweaty, and panting burg of Evansville is the sexiest place on the IN map. Why Evansville? Well, again acc’d’g to Movoto:
This city was sexy in the seediest and best possible way. It had a ton of adult stores and adult entertainment, lingerie shops, and the nightlife was hard to beat.
In other words, it’s the state’s capital for businesses catering to lonely men furtively slipping into adult bookstores for a quick yank.
Sexy, eh?
B-town, as far as I can determine, is home to only one such establishment, College Adult Books just north of downtown. Sheesh, if only we had ten more places like that, we could be the sexiest place in Indiana.
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Cops: You’re All Being So Mean To Us
For a bunch of supposed tough guys who won’t take shit from anybody and who, presumably, will shoot you at the slightest provocation, cops often are sensitive little flowers.
The top man at the St. Louis Police Officers Association gasped and held on to a nearby chair when five members of the St. Louis Rams ran onto the field Sunday with their hands raised, a show of support for protesters of the Michael Brown assassination.
Hands Up
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Brown, if you recall, was reputed to be holding up his hands when Ferguson police officer Darren Wilson emptied his gun at him in August.
The assoc. said:
The St. Louis Police Officers Association is profoundly disappointed with the members of the St. Louis Rams football team….
SLPOA business manager, Jeff Roorda, apparently suffered the vapors in reaction to the players’ display. The Assoc.’s statement added:
Roorda was incensed that the Rams and the NFL would tolerate such behavior and called it remarkably hypocritical.
Roorda said:
The SLPOA is calling for the players involved to be disciplined and for the Rams and the NFL to deliver a very public apology.
Funny thing is, the SLPOA doesn’t even represent the cops of Ferguson. It’s the labor organization for officers of the St. Louis Metropolitan Police Department. I could understand if Wilson’s stationhouse confrères were rallying around their buddy but it’s doubtful any SLPOA member even knew who he was before he became notorious for mistaking Brown for Hulk Hogan.
That “blue brotherhood” thing, though, is stronger than most other ties in this world.
As of yet, neither Darren Wilson nor the Ferguson PD, the St. Louis County prosecutor, anyone from the St. Louis police, or any other officers, sheriffs, deputies, or marshals in Murrica have said it’s a damned shame this kid had to be killed. Even if they believe Darren Wilson’s actions to be justified, isn’t it still a bitch that the kid was gunned down and left to die in the street and then his body left on the pavement in full public view for four hours?
And, in case there wasn’t enough fuckery here, Jeff Roorda himself, apparently, had been a less than exemplary police officer in his day. Before becoming the Assoc.’s biz boss, Roorda was fired by the Arnold PD for lying to superiors and falsifying police reports of arrests and incidents. He also has fought tooth and nail against police transparency advancements.
No matter, though. He was highly offended by the actions of those five football players. That’s a real crime in his book.
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Did you forget about Night Moves? Just askin’.