The Electron Pencil

Obedience

Okay, so President Gag’s lawyer, John Dowd has quit. Word on the street is he did it because his client didn’t follow his instructions to a T.

He Wouldn’t Listen!

Which brings up a Q that has puzzled me for years. Why is it acceptable for lawyers to quit representing a client when said client doesn’t follow her/his orders precisely?

Lawyers out there: Lemme hear from you.

Here’s my angle: I have about 23 and a half doctors. Hey, catch cancer yourself and you’ll find out why I need so many. Anyway, each and every one of those doctors issues orders and recommendations to and for me. Were I to follow all those instructions and directives without exception, I’d pretty much cease living a normal life. Even patients w/o a big-assed illness like C are told to do scads of things by their medical practitioners, many of which are ignored. My regular doctor tells me, among other things, not to sit in front of my keyboard for such long stretches, not to consume so many carbohydrates, to get a hose shoved up my butt regularly so somebody can inspect the interior of my intestines, and countless other annoyances and impossibilities. I eventually get around to doing some or even most of those things, but certainly not as frequently as my doctors would prefer.

Every time I see my primary physician, I feel like a school kid sitting in the principal’s office. Why didn’t you do your homework, young man?

Nevertheless, none of my doctors is quitting treating me. None says, if you don’t knock off thirty pounds ASAP I’ll have to resign from your case.

Lawyers, though, are a different matter. A man can be found to have dozens of bodies buried in his crawl space. The instruments of torture and death that he used to put them there can be arrayed neatly in his toolshed. The man could have the victims’ blood on his hands. Hell, he could even have videotapes showing him snuffing the life out of them. Still, a lawyer will take his case, saying — rightfully — everybody deserves a good and proper defense.

But let that man go before the TV cameras and say the cops are nitwits, the judge is a fool, and those guys whose bodies were found deserved to die anyway, and his lawyer will up and quit before the lights and cameras are turned off. Why? Because the lawyer told him not to speak to the media and, dammit, he didn’t listen!

Why isn’t it the lawyer’s responsibility to continue to represent the man even when he sabotages his own case? Doctors stick around even when I continue to gorge on rigatoni. Who knows how many years I’m shaving off my own life thanks to my unapproved habits.

Lawyers, what say you?

▼

Stuck With It

Hamilton

Mayor John Hamilton will make an announcement by the end of the month regarding that armored vehicle his police chief Mike Diekhoff wants so badly. The mayor’s communication’s chief has stated the city’s contract with the Lenco Armored Vehicles company does not allow Bloomington to back out.

Don’t hold your breath hoping Hamilton will say, Aw forget it.

▼

It Gets Worse

Bolton

You thought John Bolton was bad as United Nations ambassador under George W. Bush? Hoo boy, take another look — he’s now a decade older, has fewer future years on this planet to worry about, is that much more curmudgeonly, and is alarmingly emboldened by the rise of the militant, America-supremacist Right Wing.

Better say your prayers tonight, babies. If you’re an atheist like me, well, perhaps we’d both better start finding Jesus.

▼

Hark, The East

Here’s your link to yesterday’s Big Talk podcast featuring tech entrepreneur and angel investor Pat East. And don’t forget to read my profile of him in the March edition of Big Mike’s B-town in Limestone Post magazine.

▲