Hot Air: The President’s Analyst

Believe It Or Not

Notice how all the big corporate news media outlets like the New York Times and CNN are flat-out calling President Gag a liar now whenever he…, well, lies.

And, BTW, our dear leader is the perfect punchline to that old joke — How do you know he’s lying? He’s opening his mouth.

A lot of us may wonder why the for-profit press didn’t call him on his obvious and sundry prevarications from the get-go, like when he was running for president.

I have a theory. Li’l Duce‘s truth-telling capabilities — check that: his disabilities — were so off the charts that they were alien to political reporters who were more accustomed to the everyday stretching of the truth that every candidate and/or office holder engages in. Yeah, they all lie but the vast majority of pols’ lies are really fibs. They massage reality. They jigger the data. They juggle peripheral facts. Barack Obama, for instance, when he was prez said nearly seven millions Americans at the time were now covered by a Medicaid expansion. Truth was the total number of newly-covered people was less than half that. Politicians have been doing that kind of thing since the first Cro-Magnons went out to deliver stump speeches. Members of the news media are comfortable with such exaggerations. They simply pluck the inaccuracy out from the pol’s speech and say, Uh-uh.

But Trump’s truth-stretching is comparable to, say, Barack Obama pronouncing in August 2008 that he was a white woman from Alaska. Truth-stretching, hell. What P. Gag does is kidnap, torture, and slice the truth’s throat from ear to ear.

Candidate Donald Trump lied as no candidate ever had. Our holy land’s reporters had never seen or heard anything like him. The barrage of Trump’s lies, the sheer magnitude of them, the flat-out craziness of a few of them actually stunned American reporters into silence. They were afraid to actually say what was obvious to the rest of us — that the man we would elect President of the United States has a psychopathological disease.

It took the American news media a good year into the Trump presidency to come to their senses. When Li’l Duce open his mouth now, our nation’s for-profit journalists are immediately saying, in no uncertain terms, That’s a lie. Donald Trump had stunned our nation’s watchdogs into a daze and they’re only coming out of it now.

The Almighty

The question has to be asked: Will President Gag ever make good on his boast, uttered at an Iowa campaign rally, January 23, 2016, that he could gun somebody down in the middle of 5th Avenue and not lose a voter?

All he’s done so far in both his pre- and current-presidential lives indicates he’s perfectly capable testing that claim. Of course, he’s not actually going to go out on any street and pull the trigger at an unsuspecting passerby. He won’t for several reasons:

  • His famed germophobia — he wouldn’t want to have to rub shoulders with — ugh! — people because they’re filthy and…, well, they’re beneath him.
  • He doesn’t do anything for himself — that is, nothing mechanical or physical. He’d prefer to have an underling fire the gun.
  • As president or even ex-president, he can’t (and won’t) walk around the streets of any city looking for a likely target. The Secret Service frowns on casual strolls.

Ugh, People!

Nevertheless, I’m certain the man fantasizes turning the theoretical scenario into a reality. It would be theultimate sociopathic play. I mean, the man has accomplished everything — he’s become a billionaire, he’s married several humanoid trophy wives, he’s become the leader of the most powerful nation in the history of the world.

All that’s left for him to aspire to is god. God (acc’d’g to those who purport to know him) has the power of life and death. And he gets away with it!

So, what’s Li’l Duce gonna do?

I’ve got it. He’s gonna drop a nuke. He wants to drop a nuke. He dreams of dropping a nuke.

In fact, when he does it, he’s gonna fap to it. ‘Course, there’ll be no one in the room to witness him fapping to that ultimate act of murder. But he’ll do it.

I wouldn’t guess he’d incinerate any big city we all know about. No. He’ll choose some innocuous target, some place full of people whom his base thinks aren’t worth crying over. Say, some place in the Gaza Strip, or Baqubah, Iraq, home to the Islamic State, or maybe even an erstwhile anonymous (to those who dig him) African city like Borno, Nigeria, where Boko Haram hangs out.

Gen. Turgidson

Sure. So several tens of thousands of innocent souls get fried. Well, gosh damn it, sometimes innocent people have to get hurt. Hell, you wanna make an omelet you’re gonna have to break some eggs. Or, to paraphrase Gen. Buck Turgidson, I’m not saying we wouldn’t have to muss somebody’s hair up a bit.

You think I’m going too far? Think of the things this deranged hoodlum has said and done since becoming president and tell me they all wouldn’t have been inconceivable just a couple of years ago.

And, no, he still wouldn’t lose a single voter.

The Quiet Following The Storm

Well, wouldn’t you know it. My original Big Talk scheduled for yesterday fell through so I had to hustle to re-edit a blast from the past episode for airing during Thursday’s normal 5:30pm slot. My fall-back was going to be Nancy Hiller, whom I first interview around the time her penultimate book, Making Things Work: Tales from a Cabinetmaker’s Life, was to be released. That was February/March, 2017. Even though the interview’s been ripening for 15 months or so, the info about her life, the badinage between us, and the sheer color of our town’s chief wood artist all remain fresh.

I exhaled deeply when uploading the Hiller show, oh-so-proud of myself for dodging a bullet. Missing a show in radio — or on TV or on stage or in any other entertainment/information-delivery setting — is a mortal sin. My news director, Wes Martin, gave me a big pat on the back. I was, for the briefest of moments, a big shot.

Then the sky reminded us all who’s boss. The powerful line of storms that tore through the area yesterday afternoon knocked the power out in downtown Bloomington and other environs. WFHB was silent for quite a while — a dead-air space that included my 5:30-6pm slot.

So, lah-de-dah. We’re putting the re-jiggered Hiller interview in our back pockets for airing in June (yeah, it’s June already, sheesh!)

BTW: Nancy’s got a brand new book out. Its called English Arts & Crafts Furniture and it’s a pip, as they say across the Atlantic. Take a look at the cover and know that the inside of the thing is chock-full of plenty more furniture porn.


Anyway, Big Talk airs every Thursday at 5:30pm on WFHB, 91.3 FM. If you miss it, come here for the podcast link the next morning.


3 thoughts on “Hot Air: The President’s Analyst

  1. Mark Taylor says:

    There is no doubt,in my mind,that Trump has the inclination to commit the ultimate mass murder that you describe. One can only hope that a few, sane,upper-level military advisers would prevent this from happening,even if the considerations were only about the effect that dropping a nuke might have on the next election. There is no doubt that Trump is unhinged enough to do this!

  2. Mark Taylor says:

    P.S. My muse advises me that “sane military advisor”,may,in fact,be an oxymoron!

  3. David Paglis, Lake County Republican says:

    When I ask Obama haters by what measure is he “destroying America” they come up with very debatable opinions. I ask Trump haters to name a couple of the worst lies . What I hear could arguably be called exaggerations or lies about minor things like the size of his inauguration crowd. A check of Politifact Pants on Fire statements yield the same result. AOL has a front page story about former CIA direction Brennan repeatedly calling Trump a liar. The closest he came to supporting the charge was when he said “about the Iran deal” but gave no details. Does Trump “lie” more than Obama? No question. He “lies” more than any President we’ve been used to. I think most people between the extremes recognize them for what they are: exaggerated salesmanship from a blustering blowhard. To characterize him as the worst liar is the same as calling him a racist or fascist, sloppy use of the language.

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