Hot Air: Trump Slumps

There’ve been all sorts of “Trump slumps” since our dear leader was inaugurated on January 20, 2017 (a moment, BTW, I thankfully missed as I was under a general anesthetic, getting my cancer drug port removed — sometimes even the absolute worst of times can be somewhat ameliorated by a tiny stroke of good fortune).

In any case, there have been an international travel slump due to the value of the dollar falling under Trump’s leadership; investors’ anxiety due to Trump’s trade tiff with China; manufacturing, agriculture and shipping downturns due to his economic policies; and a whole raft of other sags in this nation’s finances, vitality, and even psychological mood, all thanks to the presence of an unqualified, incurious, supremacist, greed monkey in the White House. Hell, half the people I know are ready to jump off the top of the tallest building in town as they fret over the possibility that President Gag just might win a second term.

For some odd reason, though, I missed the Trump slump in the gun sales world. Yep, ever since the terrorist, Muslim, cocaine-addicted, gay-orgy-in-the-White-House-basement, tolerator of Hillary Clinton’s child sex slave ring underneath a Maryland pizza parlor, Barack Obama went back to Kenya or Uganda or wherever the hell the lunatics among us think he came from, gun sales have gone down. Yes indeed, with a porcine white man (and pathologically proud of it) claiming the mantle of Leader of the Free World, the people of this holy land are less inclined to stock up on shootin’ irons because, gosh dang it, America is great again!

Inasmuch as those of us appalled by the very idea of a Trump presidency are making rumbling sounds about taking to the streets if this madness continues much longer, you’d think the Trumpists’d be more eager than ever to get their paws on guns, hand- and long-varieties inclusive. Because millions of us are itching to stop America’s obvious descent into neo-fascism by any means necessary, it’s only logical to assume MAGA cap sporters would be gearing up for the apocalyptic confrontation likely to come. But they ain’t.

That’d be because the gun fondlers and Trump idolators of this currently-changing democratic republic are no longer in a panic that the big bad brown man is coming to snatch their daughters and wives for whatever craven sexual purposes might strike them. Obama’s out so we don’t have to live in Fear of the Black Penis any longer. A melanin-deprived plutocrat with an even whiter (and surgically enhanced) bride is now large and in charge so, babies, we got us enough guns for the time being.

I’ve long held the worst thing about democracy is the people.

Checking It Twice

I understand Clarence Thomas’s wife is helping L’il Duce compile his enemies list. Remember how scared to death many of us were when Dick Nixon’s enemies list was revealed? This new one’ll make that one look like your Aunt Sue’s Christmas card list. Virginia “Ginni” Thomas, apparently, is helping ID those in federal government positions who don’t worship the very ground P. Gag walks on.

Washington’s Fun Couple.

Natch, a psychologically malformed individual like Trump can be expected to carry around in his head a roster of names of those who’ve wronged him, called him out, looked at him sideways, or otherwise blasphemed him. And, to be sure, it isn’t just Deep Staters who can expect to be punished. I’m guessing reporters, Democrats, historians, photographers, Op/Ed columnists, intellectuals, archivists, librarians, protesters, activists, wayward Republicans, feminists, and other such reprobates will soon — if not already — be added to the growing non-person list.

Personal to Ginni Thomas: Once you finish weeding the dissenters out of federal gov’t and start getting around to marking the rest of us non-compliers with your special scarlet letter, please consider me for inclusion on your expanded list.

I, in fact, am an enemy of Donald J. Trump.

No Coloreds Allowed

From the late, lamented, and utterly fabulous Spy Magazine (issue dated December 1989):

You’re Not The Boss Of Me!

There were, by my count, at least six good, valid, and true reasons why such an unlikely figure as Donald Trump won the presidency in 2016. I’ve recounted them here time and again so I won’t beat that dead horse today.

But it’s been more than three years with L’il Duce in power and, golly gee, he’s upended everything but the White House china cabinet — and that may be on next week’s agenda.

Anyway, what with President Gag acting so unpresidential-ly for so long — and many wits and wags early on wrongly predicted that his voters would tire of him quickly after they saw him in action — he’s still wildly popular with that portion of the American electorate amounting to some 35-40 percent of us. In fact, it could be said he’s more popular than ever with his base.


Simple. I’ve got it all figured out.

His whole appeal at this point is this: He says, in word and deed, precisely what nearly everyone would dearly love to say to their bosses, their annoying neighbors, their cranky relatives, those who scold and scourge in the news, those who shake their fingers at us on social media, college professors and so-called experts, and everybody else who tells us how we ought to behave. That is, Fuck you. You can’t tell me what to do. I’ll do what I want.

Honest to gosh, it’s as basic and visceral as that. Everybody tells me what to do and finally — finally! — someone’s out there saying exactly what I want to say but can’t or else I’ll be fired, disowned, et cetera.

In other words, a huge swathe of the American public is, emotionally and psychologically, 14 years old.

Forty Percent Of Us Today?

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