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THE QUOTE

“Never loan a book to someone if you expect to get it back. Loaning books is the same as giving them away.” — Douglas Coupland

GENERAL AVERSION

This Petraeus scandal is another one of those affairs wherein everybody involved is a flat out jerk.

Honestly, who would want to be involved with any of these chowderheads?

Consider this laundry list of reprobates and their peccadillos:

Petraeus & Broadwell: Puffing Their Chests Out With Pride

Ick.

It reminds me of the OJ Simpson murder trial. Every single person connected with that case was a dope or a social climber or a sociopath or the sire of the Kardashian beings. I couldn’t stand any of those people.

Well, except one. Kato.

Can I Testify?

Kato Kaelin was the only un-detestable soul in the bunch. I mean, he never pretended to be anything more than what he was — a dingbat, celebrity-junkie, coat-holder who had the bad luck to be at home when he heard a thump on his bedroom wall.

I wonder if there’ll be a Kato in the Petraeus case.

PASSING IN SCIENCE

Okay, Indiana, you voted for Mitt Romney and elected a Republican governor. And the statehouse is still firmly in the control of the GOP.

What more do you want?

Oh, this: Republican state senator Dennis Cruse will introduce legislation that, in the words of the National Center for Science Education, will be a “permission slip for teachers to bring creationism, climate-change denial, and other non-science into science classrooms.”

A Proud Member Of The Indiana Legislature?

What next, the crucible?

JUDGING A BOOK BY ITS READER

A middle-aged couple walked into the Book Corner yesterday, appearing as if they’d been transported suddenly to another planet.

I tried to make eye contact but they both averted their gazes. They didn’t seem to be potential shoplifters but one can never tell so I kept an eye on them.

Plenty of folks who’d never been in a bookstore in their lives wander into the Book Corner. We’re across the street from the Monroe County Courthouse, where folks who live in such far-flung locales as Bean Blossom township come to pay their property taxes.

They consider a voyage into downtown Bloomington to be akin to visiting Rome. They step into the bookstore tentatively as if concerned that some questionable books sold therein might contaminate them. Within moments they relax, after being assured they won’t be assaulted by members of the Red Brigade.

They Hang Out In Bookstores, Don’t They?

Anyway, this particular couple did the tentative two-step as well. By and by, they felt emboldened to separate, he to thumb through outdoor sportsmen’s magazines and she to search for something.

Eventually, she approached me, presumably after convincing herself I wouldn’t snatch her and do a Patty Hearst job on her. She asked for a Becca Fitzpatrick book in the Hush, Hush Saga teen romance series. I figured she was hoping to buy it for a 12-year-old daughter. I was wrong.

A Hush, Hush Saga Book

“I love these books,” she said. “There’s a whole bunch of ’em. It’s like a series or somethin’,”

“Well, that’s good,” I said, trying my damnedest not to let myself think snarky thoughts.

You make snap judgements about people when you work in a bookstore. Some buy books with titles like “Applied Concepts in Differential Equations.” You immediately come to a conclusion about the entirety of their lives. Same with those who buy Stephen Colbert books or that new biography of Peter Criss, the drummer from Kiss.

Reading Material?

So, noble soul that I am, I labored not to conclude that the woman was a dummy. Lucky for me I did.

“I’m just learnin’ how to read,” she volunteered.

I was speechless.

“Can you believe it? I’m 44 years old and I never learned how to read.” She said this almost matter-of-factly.

“Well, that’s fantastic,” I said.

“Uh huh. My husband’s teachin’ me how to read. He said we’re gonna do this no matter how hard it is. He said, ‘You better learn how to read. It’s time.'” There wasn’t a hint of embarrassment in her tone — if anything, only pride.

She explained that she’d be back in about a month, after she and her husband got their next check. Then she could buy some of those teen romances.

Sometimes when people want to buy junk books like “How to Read the Tarot,” I console myself about the transaction by thinking, Well, at least they’re reading. Plus, they’re buying from us so we’ll stay in business that much longer.

This woman wasn’t the first 40-something to buy a teen romance for herself. And normally I need to console myself when taking an adult’s money for this kind of kid lit. But the next time the woman comes in, I’ll be proud to sell her a couple of Becca Fitzpatrick novels.

Meeting her was the best thing that happened to me all day yesterday.

The only events listings you need in Bloomington.

Thursday, November 15th, 2012

MUSIC ◗ IU Auer HallDoctoral Recital: Elena Paradies on organ; 5pm

MUSIC ◗ IU Ford-Crawford HallDoctoral Recital: Yoon Won Shin on piano; 5pm

MUSIC ◗ IU Sweeney HallPerformer Diploma Recital: Michael Miragliotta on trombone; 5pm

MUSIC ◗ Bear’s PlaceThe Matt MacDougall Quartet; 5:30pm

LECTURE ◗ IU Memorial Union, Whittenberger Auditorium — “What Are Friends For?: The Adaptive Power of Social Bonds, Presented by primatologist Joan Silk of Arizona State University; 5:30pm

FILM ◗ Monroe County Public Library –“The Line“; 6pm

MUSIC ◗ The Player’s PubBuilt for Comfort; 6:30pm

STAGE ◗ IU AuditoriumMusical: “The Grinch Who Stole Christmas“; 7pm

MUSIC ◗ IU Ford-Crawford HallEarly Music Institute Chamber Music Concert; 7pm

PHOTOGRAPHY & VIDEO ◗ IU Latino Cultural Center — “Akadoi Epera: The Embera’s Hope,” By Alexandra McNichols-Torroledo; 7pm

MUSIC ◗ Muddy Boots Cafe, NashvilleKara Barnard & Chuck Wills; 7-9pm

MUSIC ◗ IU Musical Arts Center, Recital HallSenior Recital: Abigail Kunkel, mezzo-soprano; 7pm

FILM ◗ Boxcar Books — “No Vietnamese Ever Called Me Nigger“; 7pm

FILM ◗ IU Cinema — “The Motorcycle Diaries“; 7pm

LECTURE ◗ Monroe County History Center — “Saving Indiana’s Old Barns,” Presented by Justin Smith; 7pm

SPORTS ◗ IU Assembly HallHoosier men’s basketball vs. Sam Houston State; 7pm

STAGE ◗ Ivy Tech Waldron Center, in the Rose FirebayDrama, “The Rimers of Eldritch“; 7:30pm

STAGE Ivy Tech Waldron Center, AuditoriumComedy: “Alfred Hitchcock’s The 39 Steps“; 7:30pm

COMEDY ◗ The Comedy AtticJames Adomian; 8pm

MUSIC ◗ IU Musical Arts Center All-Campus Band, Brett Richardson, Trae Blanco, and Christopher Dortwegt, conductors; 8pm

MUSIC ◗ IU Auer HallLatin American Popular Music Ensemble: “¡Anda Jaleo!“; 8pm

MUSIC ◗ The BluebirdDavid Nail; 8pm

MUSIC ◗ IU Ford-Crawford HallMaster’s Recital: Jeong Hoon Lee on flute; 8:30pm

MUSIC ◗ Max’s PlaceAndrew Simmerman Trio; 9pm

MUSIC ◗ Rachael’s CafeRadar Eyes, The Constants, Jerome & the Psychics; 9pm

MUSIC ◗ The BishopMount Carmel, Charlie Patton’s War; 9:30pm

MUSIC ◗ Max’s PlacePretty Boy Freud; 9:40pm

MUSIC ◗ Max’s Place Ampersand; 10:30pm

ONGOING:

ART ◗ IU Art MuseumExhibits:

ART ◗ Ivy Tech Waldron CenterExhibits through December 1st:

ART ◗ IU SoFA Grunwald GalleryExhibits through November 16th:

ART ◗ IU Kinsey Institute GalleryExhibits through December 20th:

ART ◗ IU Mathers Museum of World CulturesExhibits:

BOOKS ◗ IU Lilly LibraryExhibits:

ARTIFACTS ◗ Monroe County History CenterExhibits:

The Ryder & The Electron Pencil. All Bloomington. All the time.

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