We can laugh about it now that the tens of millions of people who suffered from lung cancer, emphysema, stroke, heart diseases, chronic obstructive pulmonary disease, asthma, and all the other lethal maladies caused by cigarette smoking have long ago been wiped out by Big Tobacco. They are but distant memories as we approach the year 2025 and smoking, at least in this holy land, has become a nasty, uncool habit. (Of course, the kids these days — some — are taking up vaping, a sanitized version of this slow suicide; we’ll see how long that fad lasts.)
Anyway, back in America’s Jurassic Period, the 1950s, Big Tobacco ran ads claiming doctors — medical doctors, y’know, the guys who urged you to exercise, eat your spinach, and cut down on your thick, juicy steak intake in order to live longer and healthier — not only smoked but recommended it!
I doubt if anybody really bought into this corporate horseshit. Americans, after all, long have expected to be lied to; many of us even prefer it. Those who smoked probably figured, Yeah, I know I’m killing myself but maybe I oughtta switch to Camels. I might just buy myself another four or five years of life when all is said and done. Natch, that extra four or five years, if true, would be chockablock with lung resections, the inability to sleep due to incessant hacking, or persisting in a post-stroke vegetative state.
In 1966, the United States mandated warning labels on cigarette packages. Then it launched an anti-smoking campaign. Remember this ad?
So, yeah, by 2022, fewer than ten percent of Americans actually smoked cigarettes, a figure unimaginable in, say, 1965, when 52 percent of male Americans and 34 percent of females smoked.
You’d think the last people on Earth to take up smoking after it had become clear the habit could kill you would be athletes. Professional athletes, especially. In 1972, the USA Olympic swimming trials were held at Chicago’s Portage Park pool. A few years later, I met a competitive swimmer who actually worked at those trials. She told me the superstar American swimmer at the time, one who became an idol to millions in the US, was a chain smoker. This brilliant, godlike competitor lit up the moment he pulled himself out of the water and kept a gasper dangling from his lips until he had to dive back in.
I could hardly believe her. She swore it was true.
That big-time swimmer wasn’t the only athlete, Olympian or pro, to carry a nicotine monkey on his back, I’ve since realized. In fact, there’s photographic proof many of the biggest stars in football, basketball, baseball, hockey, soccer, golf and all the rest of our games, have historically lit up. To wit:
Ben Hogan, one of the greatest golfers of all time, winner of nine major championships.
Stan Mikita, Slovak-born American, two-time National Hockey League most valuable player and member of the Hockey Hall of Fame.
Vince Lombardi, member of the legendary Fordham University “Seven Blocks of Granite” and five-time National Football League championship-winning head coach.
Jerry Coleman, second baseman for six New York Yankees World Series championship teams.
Arnold Palmer (with Ben Hogan), charismatic, television-friendly golfer nicknamed “The King,” winner of 97 tournaments.
Roger Maris, two-time American League Most Valuable Player, in 1961 set the Major League Baseball record for home runs in a season.
Len Dawson, six-time pro football all-star, led the Kansas City Chiefs to the first American Football Conference Super Bowl victory.
Dave Parker, nicknamed “TheCobra,” the 1978 National League baseball Most Valuable Player and a 2025 inductee into the Baseball Hall of Fame.
John Daly, 1991 Professional Golfers’ Association champion.
Keith Hernandez, 1979 National League baseball Most Valuable Player.
Shirley Strong, British silver medal winner in the 1984 Olympics hurdles.
Charley Hull, English professional golfer, winner of the 2013 Ladies European Tour Rookie of the Year award.
And, just for kicks, here’s Michael Phelps, American swimmer (not the one referred to in the anecdote above), winner of 28 Olympics medals, the most successful and decorated Olympic athlete of all time, taking a hit from a bong pipe:
Quite the all-star lineup, no? I suppose the conclusion we can make is smoking is not as absolutely effective a means of suicide as putting a loaded pistol in your mouth and pulling the trigger. You can become an all-time great in your sport while still carrying around a pack a day habit. You can win awards and medals and get elected whatever Hall of Fame you’re aiming for, all with cigarette breath, yellowed teeth, and nicotine-stained fingers.
A word of caution, though: doctors no longer recommend smoking.