In a simpler day, say, a few decades ago, the typical person who might threaten your life was a mug with a gun emerging from a dark alley. “Your money or your life,” he might snarl.
How quaint.
He might be wearing a mask and have suddenly popped out from around a corner and shoved his snub-nosed Saturday night special into your ribs. He’d unburden you of all your valuables — your watch, your wedding ring, and necklace, too — if he was a conscientious crook.
Of course, I’m describing a comic strip characterization. Back in those “simpler” days there were many ways people made you fear for your life. Hell, in October 1962, Fidel Castro, Nikita Khrushchev, and John F. Kennedy scared the excrement out of the whole world for about 13 days. And, of course, there was the usual array of psychotics and hooligans for hire who might put your continued existence in peril.
I’m gonna go out on a limb here, though, and say it’d have been highly unlikely the person threatening your life would be the parent of a student you were teaching because your grading criteria were more stringent than he’d want.
But that’s life in this godforsaken year of 2026.
A friend of mine who teaches at Indiana University confided to me that he’d received an email from a student’s parent last night that, yep, threatened his life for the grade he’d given the sender’s kid. I won’t reveal any details about this instructor for obvious reasons. I wish to hell I could give you all the possible details about the email sender so that the whole goddamned world could pillory him.
This is where we are today.
I’ve long been baffled by the outsized importance people place upon the prestige of the college or university they’re sending their kid to and the perceived vital nature of each GPA decimal point said kid earned there. Scads of people would sell their souls to the devil to get their kid into, say, Harvard or Smith or Brown. Hell, a passel of parents — the actor Lori Loughlin famously among them — went to jail a few years ago for bribing and cheating their kids’ way into this or that jewel of learning. Some institutions of higher education — Indiana University is one — rake in tuition dough from folks whose kids couldn’t make the cut into Yale or Penn. They send their kids to these second-, third, and fourth-choice colleges and stew because their darlings have failed them.
Why?
Do they teach better or different facts at the Ivy League schools or the Seven Sisters? If you want to be a doctor, will you be allowed to learn a secret way of treating a broken leg at Northwestern? Is the math taught at Stanford more accurate than that offered by the University of New Mexico?
Of course the real reason parents risk incarceration to get their kid into Dartmouth or Duke is their desire to ensure their 17-year-old will belong to the best, the right, club. Harvard alums help out their confreres. So do Elis and Blue Devils and Smithies. Your college’s alums will be more likely to hire you and put you up for membership at their country club and contribute to your campaign should you ever decide to run for office. Or even abet you in the skirting of the law.
In this sense, a lot of colleges and universities have morphed from schools into something like cartels. Or worse, crime syndicates.
And, their trophy children having failed to gain entrance to an Ivy League school, these pathologically competitive parents can’t shake the urge that drove them to crave their kids’ entrance to Columbia in the first place. So, when the kids study at IU or the University of South Carolina, the parents remain as cut-throat as they were when their kids were high school juniors. The result? Their kid gets a B in Math 101 and they feel compelled to issue a fatwa against the teacher. Have they so little faith in their kids? Do they think, because the little darling got that totally unjustified, unfair, devastating B, that the kid’ll never be able to get a job after graduation? What world do these people live in?
This world. I don’t have to like it.








