Monthly Archives: December 2014

Hot Air

The Immaculate Fix

Get ready for another reading of William S. Burrough’s The Junky’s Christmas.

Burroughs

Burroughs

It’s become a holiday tradition in these parts, thanks to the combined efforts of The Burroughs Century and the Writers Guild at Bloomington. B-town scribes Tony Brewer, Arthur Cullipher, Ian Uriel Girdley, and Shayne Laughter will perform the piece in a live radio theater performance Wednesday, December 17th, 8:00pm, at Rachael’s Cafe. Trumpeter Kyle Quass and saxophonist Chris Rall will back them up.

Ian Girdley also will read from his new book, This poem Drank the Wine (sic).

Burroughs’ seasonal moral: Not all gifts are sugarplums and good can arise in the absolutely unlikeliest of places.

Whee, Me!

Malcolm Abrams and David Brent Johnson are the perpetrators of this:

From Bloom Magazine

Click on the image for the full story. Perhaps my fave part of the above is the exclamation point after my name. You’d think that would be more appropriate for a profile of, say, Vladimir Putin or Taylor Swift.

What’s the opposite of an exclamation point? An upside down exclamation point? Nah, Spanish already has claimed that. I dunno. Anyway, read.

Start The Presses!

Ledge Mule Press has issued its second book, Then Gone by Romayne Rubinas. With two tomes on its résumé, the Press can now be considered the real deal.

Book Cover

Hand-Printed & Hand-Bound

Poets, writers, and all-around Hoosier sophisticates Ross Gay, Chris Mattingly, and Dave Torneo run Ledge Mule. Then Gone was produced on a hand-fed Chandler & Price letterpress machine and was hand-bound by the three. The trio opted to produce only 200 copies of the book so it just may become a priceless collectors item one day.

Here’s hoping we don’t have to wait for the deaths of the principals involved before the thing pays off.

Ledge Mule’s first offering was a collection by poet David Watters entitled Hollow & Round. It came out earlier this year.

Catch Romayne reading her poems at The Back Door, Saturday, December 6th, at 7pm. She’ll appear with poets Kate Schneider and Shaina Clerget.

Queerball

How cool is this? American major pro sports’ first on-field/court/ice arbiter has come out. Major League Baseball umpire Dale Scott has been calling balls and strikes in the Big Show for some 29 years and just this month revealed publicly he’s gay. Scott’s been involved with a fellow named Mike Rausch since the year after he broke into MLB. Scott and Rausch got married last month.

Scott/Rausch

Scott (L) & Rausch

Even cooler, MLB big shots have known Scott was gay for years now. “…[T]his is not a surprise to Major League Baseball, the people I work for,” Scott told Outsports online yesterday. “It’s not a surprise to the umpire staff. Until Mike and I got married last November, he was my same-sex domestic partner and had his own MLB I.D. and was on my insurance policy.”

Yet another reason for me to love baseball.

You Want A Hero? Here.

There was a time in the deep murky mists of memory when the people of this holy land actually did good things just to, well, do good things.

For instance, in 1948 after the Soviet Union had imposed a blockade around the city of West Berlin, a US Army Air Corps pilot named nicknamed Hal regularly flew a C-54 transport plane (like the one pictured below) into Tempelhof Airport. His usual cargo — 10 tens of flour. Berliners, America had realized, needed to eat. Under the direction of General George C. Marshall, the Berlin airlift, known as Operation Vittles, flew thousands of tons of food into West Berlin.

Berlin Airlift

A Berlin Airlift Plane Landing At Tempelhof

Earlier that year, Hal had met a bunch of kids who watched as the stream of transport planes flew into Templehof. They’d asked him for some candy. All he had were a couple of sticks of gum. He tore those sticks in half and handed the four pieces to the kids who proceeded to tear off bits of the wrappers and pass the scraps around. The kids, having experienced the deprivations and horrors of war and occupation, simply sniffed the bits of wrapper. The looks of sheer glee and gratitude on their faces, Hal later said, were unlike any he’d ever seen.

So he started recruited his own crew members and, eventually, crews of other planes in his unit to donate their rations of candy and gum. The crews would makes little packages of the sweets and attach them to parachutes made of their handkerchiefs and, as they flew over the gang of kids, would drop the treats. It soon was raining candy at Tempelhof.

After a time, Hal had gotten scads of private citizens and candy manufacturers to donate some 21 tons of candy for his makeshift operation. The kids took to calling him the Candy Bomber.

Nobody splashed candy makers’ names all over those transport planes. No individuals screamed out to the world what fabulous souls they were for dumping tons of candy into waiting kids’ hands. They simply wanted to bring joy to the kids. Simultaneously, they were feeding a city of 2.5 million people.

Here’s your hero.

Halvorsen

Gail “Hal” Halvorsen In 1989

Thanks to Pencillista Col. John Tilford (Ret., US Army) for sending in the link to the following vid. In it, Halvorsen is honored for his candy drop. Sure, it’s hokey, mucky and gushy, but if you’re not crying by the time you’re finished watching, you’re probably dead.

Believe it or not, even I can be corny now and again.

Hot Air

More Sexy Than Kokomo!

Feeling libidinous?

If not, you’re an odd Bloomingtonian. At least acc’d’g to the latest Movoto poll which lists our town as the third sexiest place in Indiana.

I suppose that’s like being named the third most powerful Democrat in Texas or the third best player on the Philadelphia 76ers.

Standings

I mean, LaFayette is considered a sexier place than this megalopolis. And we just barely edged out Kokomo.

Kokomo?

Yes, Kokomo.

Movoto, in case you didn’t know (and I’m fairly confident you didn’t) is a real estate relocation website, whatever than means. A lightning-quick and cursory scan of the site (the only possible kind of scan I could bear) shows it to be, by and large, an advertisement for every single metropolitan area in this holy land. So, if your tyrannical boss wants to transfer you to the branch office in Paint Lick, Kentucky, you go to Movoto to see what the amenities and attractions are there. (In case you’re interested, the answer is none.)

School

Yep, There Is A Paint Lick

So, this poll finds that the hot, sweaty, and panting burg of Evansville is the sexiest place on the IN map. Why Evansville? Well, again acc’d’g to Movoto:

This city was sexy in the seediest and best possible way. It had a ton of adult stores and adult entertainment, lingerie shops, and the nightlife was hard to beat.

In other words, it’s the state’s capital for businesses catering to lonely men furtively slipping into adult bookstores for a quick yank.

Sexy, eh?

B-town, as far as I can determine, is home to only one such establishment, College Adult Books just north of downtown. Sheesh, if only we had ten more places like that, we could be the sexiest place in Indiana.

Cops: You’re All Being So Mean To Us

For a bunch of supposed tough guys who won’t take shit from anybody and who, presumably, will shoot you at the slightest provocation, cops often are sensitive little flowers.

The top man at the St. Louis Police Officers Association gasped and held on to a nearby chair when five members of the St. Louis Rams ran onto the field Sunday with their hands raised, a show of support for protesters of the Michael Brown assassination.

NFL/NBC

Hands Up

Brown, if you recall, was reputed to be holding up his hands when Ferguson police officer Darren Wilson emptied his gun at him in August.

The assoc. said:

The St. Louis Police Officers Association is profoundly disappointed with the members of the St. Louis Rams football team….

SLPOA business manager, Jeff Roorda, apparently suffered the vapors in reaction to the players’ display. The Assoc.’s statement added:

Roorda was incensed that the Rams and the NFL would tolerate such behavior and called it remarkably hypocritical.

Roorda said:

The SLPOA is calling for the players involved to be disciplined and for the Rams and the NFL to deliver a very public apology.

Funny thing is, the SLPOA doesn’t even represent the cops of Ferguson. It’s the labor organization for officers of the St. Louis Metropolitan Police Department. I could understand if Wilson’s stationhouse confrères were rallying around their buddy but it’s doubtful any SLPOA member even knew who he was before he became notorious for mistaking Brown for Hulk Hogan.

That “blue brotherhood” thing, though, is stronger than most other ties in this world.

As of yet, neither Darren Wilson nor the Ferguson PD, the St. Louis County prosecutor, anyone from the St. Louis police, or any other officers, sheriffs, deputies, or marshals in Murrica have said it’s a damned shame this kid had to be killed. Even if they believe Darren Wilson’s actions to be justified, isn’t it still a bitch that the kid was gunned down and left to die in the street and then his body left on the pavement in full public view for four hours?

And, in case there wasn’t enough fuckery here, Jeff Roorda himself, apparently, had been a less than exemplary police officer in his day. Before becoming the Assoc.’s biz boss, Roorda was fired by the Arnold PD for lying to superiors and falsifying police reports of arrests and incidents. He also has fought tooth and nail against police transparency advancements.

No matter, though. He was highly offended by the actions of those five football players. That’s a real crime in his book.