Monthly Archives: September 2025

528 Words: Struggling

I’ve gone back and forth on this more times than I can remember. That is, my feelings about how I should look at and treat those who voted for Li’l Duce.

The night he was elected the first time, back in 2016, I wrote on FB, “America, you disgust me.”

That hasn’t changed. There are some 75 million voters in this holy land who’ve consistently demonstrated they don’t give the slightest damn that their candidate once mocked a disabled person.

If your kid did that while talking about a disabled classmate, you’d whack him one. A grown man did it and has been elected President of the United States of America twice.

I’ve detested Donald Trump since the mid-1980s when he was first making waves as the playboy real estate magnate of New York City. The magazines Vanity Fair, New York, and Spy covered him like a blanket back then, portraying him as a psychologically damaged clown — which he is. In fact, back then I used to say if I were king I’d decree that every single human being has to scrub his or her own toilet. It’d be the ultimate and just imposition of humility on those who make “little people” do those kinds of things for them. Every time I said it, I had Donald Trump in mind.

When he became a presidential candidate, I thought his campaign would be comic relief during the endless 2016 election cycle. Then came the dark night of November 8th and 9th nearly a decade ago.

Yeah. I’m still disgusted.

I’ve struggled to think and do the right things vis à vis the MAGA cult and the few tens of millions more who weren’t similarly deluded or outright racist/misogynist/transphobic/white supremacist/xenophobic/just plain lunkheaded but voted for him because prices were high, or they wanted to see “change,” or whatever bullshit reasoning they gaseously expelled from the wrong orifice.

The cultists, I quickly concluded, were beyond me. No way could I ever understand or hope to engage them. I remember that street corner preacher who used to rant about the abomination of homosexuality up and down State Street in Chicago’s Loop, waving his Bible and using a mic and portable amp. No one ever thought to stop and say, My good man, what say we have ourselves a lively debate on the topic?

What would be the use?

Same with the MAGA cult.

But how about those few tens of millions who felt the American system is broken and that’s why they pulled the lever for Caligu-Lite?  Perhaps I could — perhaps I should — try to reason with them. Perhaps we all should. After all, I think the American system is broken, too. We’ve got common ground.

Yet, every time Li’l Duce pulls off one of his Führer-esque stunts — and they seem to be pouring down on us like a summer thunderstorm now — I find that nice-guy, bipartisan, kumbaya approach to Trump voters harder and harder to pretend to. Those voters’ll tell me I’ve got Trump Derangement Syndrome, that comparing him to Hitler is the primary symptom thereof, but, for pity’s sake, the dude’s got Hitler’s playbook down, people.

It’s a struggle, I tell you.

441 Words: Nothing Lasts

Starbucks is closing stores.

Now there’s a line that would have been unthinkable from the 1990s and into the ‘teens. Some 30 years ago, when Jerry Seinfeld was still doing standup, he cracked that he noticed a new Starbucks had opened in his neighborhood. It was inside another Starbucks.

So many Starbucks were popping up around the country — around the world — that it seemed they were growing inside each other, like scifi Aliens.

That was then; this is now.

We can speculate any number of reasons for the store closings. Union busting, coffee tariffs, a corporate mid-life crisis, and even the spread of local, independent coffee houses. Take your pick. Or mash them all together. No matter. Starbucks is no longer growing.

It is shrinking.

The only sure thing we can conclude is nothing ever lasts. Especially not in this throwaway consumer culture.

What else, what other erstwhile rock solid thing that we hold dear and dependable will go poof any time soon?

A lot of us are scared to death that democracy itself is teetering, thanks to the Resurrection of Li’l Duce. (And, by the way, I’ve come up with another nickname for the Crazy-Commander-in-Chief: Caligu-lite. I like this one almost as much as Li’l Duce.)

Democracy! Hell, our whole American identity is based on the idea of democracy (even if, throughout our history, it has rarely been practiced in a truly comprehensive democratic manner). The rise of an emotionally crippled, morally bankrupt, psychologically stunted greed monkey has indeed put our aspirational better angel in mortal peril.

If we stick to corporate powerhouses that have vanished or become mere shadows of their former selves, we can cite Sears, Blockbuster, Radio Shack, Lehman Brothers, Pan Am, Bethlehem Steel, Woolworth’s, Kodak, and a few dozen more.

And how about empires, real actual political, geographical realms? Caligula’s Rome is now just a place where American tourists go to see St. Peter’s and sample authentic Italian cooking. Ancient Greece is a driving tour of crumbling architectural ruins. Ancient Egypt is a few pyramids and the Sphinx. Genghis Khan’s Mongol Empire was the greatest, in terms of land area, in the history of the world — it lasted just shy of a hundred years. The British Empire now is just another tourist trap, monetizing Americans’ bizarre fixation on its outdated, interbred royalty.

All empires die.

While we’re fretting over the possible demise of our own empire — even if we liked to think of it as a shining city on a hill — we might also take heart in the possibility that the Reign of Caligu-lite can, like every other empire or wannabe realm, implode.

Fingers crossed.

 

63 Words: Higher Education

In case you’ve been wondering what is happening to American universities, here’s the answer in a nutshell:

  1. American universities used to exist to broaden the minds and outlooks of their students for the express purpose of making them better human beings.
  2. American universities now exist to narrow the minds and outlooks of their students for the express purpose of making them better employees.

323 Words: Amazing

We use the term amaze in all its forms promiscuously these days. Your social media feed today likely will have at least one or two posters talking about being amazed that their friends somehow came through for them, although if you’re amazed your friends’ll help you in your hour of need you really had little faith in them in the first place.

So, what kind of friend are you?

Anyway, I’m generally loath to use the term for that reason but I will now. I’m amazed.

Amazed that 24 years ago, the whole world rallied around this holy land. 9/11, al Qaeda, 3000 dead, horror, shock, innocent victims. In my recollection, just about every country reached out to help. Even Cuba, for chrissakes.

Hell, a bunch of Maasai villagers from east central Africa got together and did what they could. For us. For you and me. People they’d never met or knew anything about. Just that we’d been harmed and they wanted to help.

That, I’m sure you’ll agree, is truly amazing.

Now, barely a quarter century later, we’ve pissed all that goodwill away. We’ve fought, or participated, financially and materially, in at least four major wars since then. We’ve flipped the bird to the rest of the world’s nations that’d signed the Paris Climate Agreement. We’re in the process of chipping away at the ability of other countries to abide by the Montreal Protocol. We’ve swung toward a trade protectionism that has driven much of the rest of the world into the arms of China and Russia. We’re rounding up undocumented immigrants and shipping them off into hellish foreign prison camps. We’re turning our backs on NATO just as Vladimir Putin is salivating over eastern Europe. We’ve cut off much foreign aid. We’re even stifling the Voice of America.

Who would want to ship 14 cows to us to help us weather any future catastrophe?

Much of the world loved us once. They don’t anymore.

Amazing.

611 Words: Can You Hear Me Now?

We’re living in Trump’s World now. He’s remade America and is continuing to effect changes upon this holy land even as we speak. One of the changes that affects me personally is the crushing of the Corporation for Public Broadcasting.

Of all the things that could have discouraged or depressed me during this scary slide into neo-fascism, the announcement that the CPB was going out of business — thanks to Congress’s cut-off of funding for it — was the one that sent me spiraling downward. I mean, jeez, these are the people who gave us Carl Sagan and Sesame Street. Through the CPB’s largesse, tens of millions of kids learned to count, many of us found out how big the universe is, we heard tales of the Civil War, Prohibition, Baseball, and gay life in San Francisco in the 1970s. And, partly thanks to CPB grants, I was able to do my Big Talk thing on WFHB.

So, yeah, I was downcast when the CPB went under but I refuse to stay glum. Damn it all, I’m gonna fight my ass off against Li’l Duce and his lickspittlers.

WFHB’s Fall Fund Drive begins today and runs through Sunday, September 21st. My station has lost somewhere in the neighborhood of $135,000 a year in CPB funding, starting in three weeks. That’s when the station’s new fiscal year begins. We’d already got our CPB check for the current FY. On October 1st, we’re going to have to figure out how to keep the station going with a significant chunk of our budget suddenly gone poof. We’ve already laid off two hugely dedicated and valuable staffers, Noelle Herhusky-Schneider, our assistant news director, and Josh Brewer, our operations manager. Their last day will be September 30th.

Brooke Turpin, our Development Director, told us during last week’s Fund Drive training sessions that we shouldn’t get too political during our live, on-air pitches over the next two weeks and I promise I won’t. But here on The Pencil the gloves are off. I’m gonna rip into that greed-monkey son of a bitch in a too-long red tie like a tiger mama protecting her cubs.

As I have been doing since the summer of 2015.

We need your help. I need your help. I go live on the air tomorrow, Thursday, September 11th at 5:30pm during my normal Big Talk slot, to beg for money. I hate doing it. As I explained to Brooke, pleading for money brings me back to those long-ago, not-at-all lamented days when I had to beg, borrow, and steal to keep myself afloat. “It reminds me,” I told Brooke and GM Jar Turner, “of when I was desperate.”

“Well, guess what,” Jar said, “we are desperate.”

I ask you to click on this thing:

or to call in during my show to contribute to WFHB. You can donate anytime online and, really, any time over the phone (812.323.1200). Please make sure to mention Big Talk when (and if) you donate. All the WFHB producers and show hosts are being challenged to demonstrate how much listener loyalty we generate, based on how much dough our shows can bring in. And, by the way, this Fund Drive has a $100,000 matching donation, given by an anonymous source. It means every dollar we squeeze out of you this time around will be matched, up to a hundred grand, by that unnamed soul. So your contribution will be, in effect, doubled.

Anyway, please help. We need it. I need it. I want you to be able to hear my guests and me on Big Talk for years to come. And keep on fighting against that no good slob in a too-long red tie.

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591 Words: His Stairway To…

Throughout this entire ten-year American Caligula nightmare, I’ve managed to keep my spirits up. Mostly. Sort of. Okay, every now and then. Call it whistling past the graveyard, or the Pollyanna in me elbowing her way out, or flat out traumatic denial, I’ve tried to console myself and those around me in any number of ways.

For instance, when Li’l Duce won the 2016 election, I said — again, to myself and to others — Well, the majority of voters didn’t want him; or, Don’t worry, this is just a bump in the road; or any of a dozen fairy tales I lullabied myself to sleep with each night.

That got me through the first five years — a year of campaigning and then the 45th Presidency — with my sanity and whatever shreds of optimism I had left intact. Then, the Mad King did it again, rose from the grave, ghoul that he is, and won the 2024 election. I hit bottom that November night nine months ago, some time around 2 or 3am, when CNN ran the headline, Trump Wins Presidency.

You may as well have told me my best friend had died.

Which, come to think of it, would be less traumatic to me than the ascension of a wannabe dictator in this holy land that I’ve long tried to kid myself was immune to that kind of horseshit.

And, speaking of ascension, the Greed-Monkey-in-Chief has started a fundraising campaign…, no, wait, I mean a fraudulent scam asking for donations of $15 from tens of millions of Americans so he can sit at the right hand of the god he has never shown any indication he believes in, honors, worships or otherwise is on speaking terms with. Li’l Duce wrote in a message from one of his political action committees accounts, “I want to try and get to heaven.”

Fitting, isn’t it, that the Hustler in the White House would imply it takes dough, big dough — your dough — to  achieve his eternal oneness with the creator of the universe. I mean, religious clip artists have been a staple in American movies and novels since…, oh, since forever. And need I run a list of televangelists who’ve fleeced gullible saps to the tune of billions of dollars over the years?

Li’l Duce‘s going to rake in piles of cash with his plea. God, he says, saved him from that assassination attempt near Butler, PA 13 months ago. That’ll go a long way to convincing the criminally credulous that their boy is in good with Holy Trinity’s top banana. Many of those easy marks already are used to forking over their hard-earned cash to blatherers, crooks, sharpies, smoothies, and flimflam men clever enough to drop god’s name while holding their hands out.

The fantasy tale I’m telling myself these days is, As soon as the Hoodlum-in-Chief dies, the Republic Party’s gonna fold in on itself.  The GOP these days no longer has a platform, no longer espouses a philosophy, no longer says anything but Hail to the Chief. Without him, they’ll be rudderless, leaderless, pointless.

You think that mascaraed pimp JD Vance is going to assume the mantle post-Trump? Hell, he’ll be pilloried for the unforgivable sin of not being Trump. Look what happened to George H.W. Bush post-Ronald Reagan. And Reagan was only a saint, not a demigod like Li’l Duce.

The Saint Ronald Reagan Candle — Swear to God, It’s Real.

The idea that the Republicans will implode after Trump helps me get to sleep at night. Still, the lullaby is getting harder for me to hum.

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