"The blog has made Glab into a hip town crier, commenting on everything from local politics and cultural happenings to national and international events, all rendered in a colorful, intelligent, working-class vernacular that owes some of its style to Glab’s Chicago-hometown heroes Studs Terkel and Mike Royko." — David Brent Johnson in Bloom Magazine
They say their cars have been stolen. That they’ve been threatened by their next door neighbors. That someone passed them a bum check. That their employees embezzled from them. Woman say they’ve been raped.
The list of crimes people report is long. Not a one is considered a laughing matter.
Oh, wait a minute…, one crime is a big joke. Rape.
At least that’s the way some folks in Florida look at it.
A college kid in Tallahassee was accused of rape recently. Normally, this wouldn’t be remarkable news, considering the fact that far too many college boys have about as much control over their urges and impulses as the hyena of the African plains.
But this particular college kid happens to be the star quarterback on the Florida State University football team. FSU is the number one-ranked team in the nation. The kid, Jameis Winston, is a lock to win the Heisman Trophy later this month.
When the rape accusation was first publicized, many, many, many people were saddened and sickened by the news.
No, not because some poor young women might have been violated, traumatized, and made to fret for a period of time that she might have been impregnated as a result of the criminal act. They were aghast that the leader of their team might be indicted, arrested, and suspended. Their dreams of vicarious glory washed down the drain because some stupid bitch cried foul.
Let’s be frank: rape is rape, but a national championship is real, man.
Let’s continue to be candid: You know as well as I do that the young woman who made the charge against Winston was called a stupid bitch ten thousand times in barroom, living room, and office conversations in the Sunshine State. And that was probably the politest thing people called her.
FSU fans breathed a sigh of relief this afternoon when the Leon County State’s Attorney held a press conference to announce no charges would be filed against Winston.
Now, they can get back to the important business of winning that national championship. Or, more correctly, watching others win it. Sometimes people get confused about these things.
The mood during State’s Attorney William Meggs’ press conference was as light and joyous as if it had been revealed that, on second thought, the South had won the Civil War. There were broad smiles, laughter, winks, and nods. It was a day to be joyous.
Teehee — She Said “Rape”
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Meanwhile, a young woman still insists she was raped.
I don’t care about the details of the case. And I know one of the hallmarks of our system of justice is every accused person is innocent until proven guilty. Especially when the accused can run like the wind and thread a pass through a thicket of defenders to hit the open man.
I only know a young woman considers herself the victim of a crime.
And we don’t laugh when people say they’ve been the victims of crimes. Most of the time.
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A Strange Freedom
Actor and director Wm Bullion reminds us on the day Nelson Mandela died that some heroes of this holy land are cut from a different bolt of cloth.
Nelson Mandela’s not even in his grave yet but I’ll bet he’s already spinning.
By the way, WND bossman Joseph Farah advises us in today’s column, “Don’t Mourn for Mandela.” He explains why but if you can get through more than two sentences of his blathering you have a stronger stomach than I do.
Cheap energy, gasoline especially, is our birthright
House Of Worship
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These are things many, many citizens of this holy land accept as, well, gospel. “[T]he popular sentiment underlying these statements is so strong that politicians defy it at their peril,” he writes.
Crazy? You decide.
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LOVE STORY
Only paramedics, firefighters, and cops reacted faster to the Aurora, Colorado, Shooting Rampage than the gun fanatics who shrieked and howled that even the slightest jigger to the nation’s firearms laws would be a dastardly infringement on their sacred rights.
We don’t even argue much anymore about whether or not NRA members and their fellow travelers have the god-given right to lull themselves to sleep at night holding their loved ones close — and I’m not referring to their spouses or lovers. The gun control debate was settled and signed-off ages ago.
The Winner!
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Those folks who are sexually aroused by guns are staunch defenders of an absolutist read of the Second Amendment have pounded their chests for the last six days and declared the gun to be an honest citizen’s only possible defense against a tyrannical government.
I had an online exchange with one such soul last night:
Gun Rights Defender: “The reason I believe we should be able to have guns is simply because the armed services and the police have them and they work for the rulers not the people.”
Me: “The ‘rulers’ never fear guns in the hands of the citizenry because they (the ‘rulers’) will always be able to outgun them.”
The defender’s conceit holds that a bunch of old men in Lawrence County who own hunting rifles will stand as a robust defense against the jack-booted thugs who want to impose the unimaginable horror of health care reform on us.
I, on the other hand, happen to know the US Army issues to its soldiers, among other kill-toys, M16 rifles, M4 carbines, 7.62x51mm FN SCAR assault rifles, M203 grenade launchers, Mossberg 590 shotguns, M107 Long Range Sniper Rifles, and — as sidearms — 9mm M9 pistols. Oh, and the soldiers are trained to kill people with these things.
Groups of soldiers regularly practice firing M2 heavy machine guns, MK19 grenade machine guns, a variety of mortars (the smallest of which launches a 60mm shell), several types of towed howitzers, the FIM-92 Stinger shoulder-launched heat-seeking anti-aircraft missile, and the FGM-148 Javelin anti-tank guided missile.
How well do you think your Uncle Wayne and his fishing buddies would fare in a showdown with a battalion of 18-24 year-olds lugging hardware like that around?
Oh Yeah, Uncle Wayne’ll Do Just Fine Against These Guys
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History teaches us corrupt, despotic governments usually fall in a whimper. No shots were fired, for instance, to bring down the “Evil Empire” of the Soviet Union. Here’s another anecdotal example: The only regime still standing against the Arab Spring revolts is the one — Syria — that insurgents took up arms against.
The gun romeos need to come up with a better rationalization for their defense of the madness.
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GHOUL JUSTICE
Actor Wm. Bullion points out that one of the survivors of the Aurora, Colorado, Shooting Rampage not only will sue the parent company of the movie theater in which the incident occurred but has hired a publicist.
Wm. (Billy) Bullion
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One of my legal sources informs me it’s unlikely the theater would be found liable for the shootings but would probably settle for a tidy sum with any of the ghouls (my characterization) who’d throw court papers its way.
Bullion quotes Cassandra Williams of W.E.T. PR: “We’re going to make sure whoever is accountable is going to take responsibility for this tragedy.”
Bullion observes: “”Yes, the FAMILY’S PUBLICIST is holding the movie theater ACCOUNTABLE.” (His caps.)
The source story reveals that the survivor’s attorney is also considering suing Warner Brothers for releasing violent movies and any of James Holmes’ doctors for allowing the suspect to walk the streets.
You have to give this survivor credit: Apparently he can find the silver lining in any dark cloud.
Payout For a Bullet Hole
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THERE’S A MAN WITH A GUN OVER THERE
A redux posting: Here’s Buffalo Springfield (with the shockingly young Stephen Stills and Neil Young) performing “For What It’s Worth” on The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour in 1967.
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BTW: Tommy Smothers was one of the unheralded coolest guys of the ’60s. Check out David Bianculli’s book, “Dangerously Funny.”
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Here’s how I waste my time. How about you? Share your fave sites with us via the comments section. Just type in the name of the site, not the url; we’ll find them. If we like them, we’ll include them — if not, we’ll ignore them.
❏ XKCD — “A webcomic of romance, sarcasm, math, and language.”
❏ Skepchick — Women scientists look at the world and the universe.
❏ Indexed — All the answers in graph form, on index cards.
❏ Present and Correct — (New Listing) Fun, compelling, gorgeous and/or scary graphic designs and visual creations throughout the years and from all over the world.
❏ Flip Flop Fly Ball — Baseball as seen through infographics, haikus, song lyrics, and other odd communications devices.
