The Pencil Today:


“Pro football is like nuclear warfare. There are no winners, only survivors.” — Frank Gifford

Gifford (Recumbent)


Anybody who knows me even a little bit knows of my deep and abiding hatred for football.

Ergo, today, for me, is pretty much the most loathsome day of the year.

I quote from that renowned thinker and opinionator, me:

The Super Bowl, of course, is this holy land’s holiest event. I’ve long endorsed the idea that Super Bowl Sunday should be declared a national holiday. Football is a game that is run by men, involves violence, employs strippers disguised as cheerleaders, and rakes in literally billions of dollars a year for teams, television, bookies, athletes, anthem singers, halftime entertainers, orthopedic surgeons, criminal defense attorneys, and many more.

What’s more American than that?

(This gem of cogitation originally ran Friday.)

Anyway, Betty Greenwell, a sometimes-lapsed member of the Women’s Auxiliary of the Boys of Soma, reminds me that the statesmen and philosophers who run the NFL are in a quandary these days, what with the fiftieth Super Bowl a mere four years off.

As you know, Super Bowl branding — which was bestowed upon mankind by god — decrees that each Super Bowl be designated by Roman numerals. Today’s sacred rite is number 46, or more properly XLVI.

Number 50 presents a problem, though. The Roman numeral for 50 is, of course, L.

Now, L is the sports equivalent to the the biblical 666. It is the mark of Satan as well as those evil souls who have scored fewer points than the opposition.

The NFL reptilian-brain trust will not have the single most important date in their canonical year be smutted by such a sinister figure.

Super Bowl L? The horror!

BTW: The 30th Super Bowl didn’t seem to ruffle NFL feathers:

Football and porn — perfect.


George Carlin explains it all.

5 thoughts on “The Pencil Today:

  1. ex-b-i-l-i-l says:

    I disagree. Shocking I know!

    But then I don’t think the game itself is the take-away from this annual orgy. The “event” brings people together without the formalities, rites and observances of religious or patriotic holidays. Anyone can celebrate anything; with the game as backdrop. It can be as simple as a bag of chips and cooler of beverages or Martha Stewart elaborate, but community is the over-arching result. Conversations will cover the spectrum of topics, yet will be mitigated and defused by “the game”.

    The game is an ice-breaker. Those who agree with you about the gawdy pointlessness can make and defend their position to the other extreme. A Cub fan and a Sox fan can rejoice that pitchers and catchers report in just 13 and 17 days respectively and fully agree that the Mariners reporting on Feb 11th is just ridiculous!

    The supper bowl means that winter is ending. That hope springs eternal and that baseball still rules!


    P.S. How are things in Theo gravity? (and belated congrats on #10).

  2. Helen Harrell says:

    couldn’t care less about the super bowl or the commercials. so there!! I’ll be thinking deep thoughts, watched The Help again and of course wouldn’t miss shameless!!

  3. Puppy Bowl for me! Catch it on Animal Planet …

  4. Candy says:

    Tonight on our TV is documentary “DMT: Spirit Molecule”. Very interesting.

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