Hot Air

Sound Body, Sound Mind

Women: Did you know you may be doing your kegel exercises wrong?

Wait, wait, wait: Do you do your kegel exercises?

And men: Do you even know what kegel exercises are?

I suppose I have to provide a definition here, considering the population of Pencillistas in this holy land may include blissfully unaware men and neglectful women. Kegel exercises tighten up dames’ nethers — specifically, the muscles that comprise the pelvic floor. Admittedly, I myself have  been blissfully unaware lo these many years that the pelvic floor even exists. I’ve never seen it listed next to a button on a high rise elevator, after all.

So, the Double X chromosome carriers among our species must tone up those muscles in order to ensure that they’ll have urinary control as they enter those “certain age” years. More immediate, though, is the benefit our sisteren reap from doing such calisthenics when they’re reaching that moment of truth, the orgasm. Acc’d’g to medical authorities, a good regimen of kegel exercises ought to make the Big O almost as satisfying as a thick slice of key lime pie.

Key Lime Pie

Oh God!

Anyway, Fast Company magazine has found a handy little machine that’ll keep your p. floor muscles strong as stainless steel cables. It’s called the kGoal, and, we learn, it’s a consumer product in what’s referred to as the quantified-self market. (Click the link for yourself if you’re curious about what “quantified-self” is; I’m afraid if I try to define it I may catch the disease that caused marketing professionals to coin the term.)

A conscientious woman simply inserts the device in herself and, as it does its thing, it sends signals to her SmartPhone letting her know how well it’s working. The maker of the machine, Minna Life, crows the thing will start a “revolution in pelvic floor health,” causing me to wonder if the more hawkish members of Congress will demand that we send in military advisers to help.

Minna Life also  believes the device “is helping women feel empowered.”

And you thought you were hot stuff for voting in the May primary.

The company is conducting a Kickstarter campaign in an effort to get bazillions of the device manufactured.


The kGoal

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Baby, Workout

Put your hand on your hip and let your backbone slip!



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