Hot Air

Book It!

Taking a tiny break from my book-writin’ hiatus to get this on the record because I have a gut feeling not only is this prediction going to pan out, I’ll be the only one in this holy land making it.

Okay, here goes, with a little backgrounder first:

If you’re a betting dame or dude, you may already be putting some scratch on Donald Trump to stay strong in the Republican race into next year. Yep, the smart money has “the short-fingered vulgarian” playing to the crowd through the Iowa caucus and the early primaries.

And, quite possibly, the corporate media will be having the vapors over this candidate of the cerebrum-free masses threatening to take a major party’s nomination.

But — and here’s part one of the prediction — it ain’t gonna happen, babies.

Why?

Simple — part two. Donald Trump’s speeding train to the White House will be derailed by the revelation of his affair with Sarah Palin. Yup. This one’s as easy to call as forecasting a January snowstorm in Wasilla.

Trump/Palin

C’mon, You Know You Want Me!

Think of it:

  1. Donald Trump is a rapacious, acquisitive capitalist who views women as trophies.
  2. There aren’t many bigger trophies than a former candidate for Vice President of the United States.
  3. He also doesn’t like the idea of women holding power and the best way to defang them is to get them under his gross, panting, sweaty corpus.
  4. Sarah Palin’s nutty for strutting, cock-of-the-walk types like Vladimir Putin and Trump.
  5. She’s hot in that loathsome, suburban, Protestant mom sort of way.
  6. He’s hot in that ghastly, vain, narcissistic, rich old man sort of way
  7. Palin despises the idea of work — witness her quitting her day job in August 2009 and trying to earn a mint through the twin get-rich-quick schemes of a reality TV show and giving paid motivational speeches.
  8. Trump is rich enough — even taking into account all his bankruptcies and ledger book gibberish — to keep a mistress like Palin in jewels until the end of her life.
  9. The two are spiritual and intellectual cousins.
  10. Palin’s daughter Bristol is jumping on the Trump bandwagon as we speak and you know that if Sarah is thinking of banging Donald, she’s gonna confide in her equally morally rationalizing spawn. Bristol, clearly, will approve.

So, there you have it. Call your bookie now.

It won’t be Trump’s xenophobia, his con artistry, his worship of mammon, his boorishness, or any other obvious character flaw that brings him down. It’ll be sex. And, come to think of Trump humping and gasping, maybe the Republican anti-sex moralists are right: Sex is disgusting!

See you all here again, soon.

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