Malignant: All The Way

Shoot The Moon

Well, babies, I’m in it now. The scalpel jockeys, Drs. Haddad & Ghosh, did their respective things yesterday AM, Haddad hooking up my drug port and Ghosh fitting me with a gastric feeding tube.

There ain’t no turning back.

My first radiation session will be tomorrow at 11am and then every day Monday through Friday at 8:30 through March 18th. My first chemotherapy session will be Friday, right after my second radiation party. Then there’ll be two more of those splashes, dates and times TBA.

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You may ask, what’s the worst thing about getting two surgeries on the same day? The surgeries, it turns out, were a breeze. And, thankfully, both docs closed me up with glue as opposed to catgut (or whatever they use for sutures these days) so I won’t have to worry too much about getting water or soap on my wounds. I gave myself a top-half sponge bath and a bottom-half shower this morning. The whole affair took nearly an hour, mainly because I was hyper-cautious about accidentally yanking out my stomach tube, the very idea of which is giving me the shivers as I type.

In any case, there are only two miserable drawbacks to yesterday’s procedures: 1) my chest and abdomen had to be shaved, so if you see me walking down the street scratching at myself like a heroin addict over the next few weeks, you’ll know why; 2) is my tough skin. No, really. IDK why but it’s become increasingly hard for nurses, docs, and phlebotomists to draw blood from me or start an IV. Yesterday, for instance, two nurses tried to start my IV in different places, failing each time. My anesthesiologist had to come in, give me a blast of lidocaine, and start my IV on the inside of my right wrist. It’s the damnedest thing.

Yesterday I was restricted to a liquid diet so The Loved One and I drove through a McDonald’s for chocolate shakes after I’d been booted out of the hospital. Later I had one of those containers of chicken broth, you know, the kind that look like house bricks standing on end. The broth was low sodium so it didn’t taste like anything. I gazed lovingly at the hearth baked bread on the counter. I opened the refrigerator door and mooned over the leftover meatloaf and baked chicken legs. Oh, and there was fresh avocado as well as some chocolate pudding.

I tell you, I have a will of iron, kids.

My peanut butter toast with rhubarb preserves and all-fruit blueberry spread for breakfast this morning could not have been topped by the combined efforts of the world’s five best chefs working together.

A visiting nurse dropped in at 9am today to show me how to clean and use my feeding tube. It’s really no big deal at all. In fact, I gave myself a jolt of water before she left. I’d been afraid it’d be the grossest thing I’d ever do in my life but today I found it to be a snap. I can’t wait to show The Loved One how easy it is tonight.

Interesting thing: the surgery dept. at Bloomington Hospital has an LED display board just like at the airport, only this one shows the progress of patients as opposed to aircraft.

I figure they should add a little lightness to the sign and list the times under the categories ETS (Estimated Time of Slicing) and ETW (Estimated Time of Waking-up). Then again, nah.

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That’s Me, BLHOR-2016-508

So, stayed tune for tomorrow’s post wherein I’ll tell you what it’s like to be dosed with radioactive rays. My guess is I won’t feel a thing. The more compelling story will come the next day, when I get hooked up to the chemotherapy infuser. Matter of fact, I just may blog it in real time, considering the chemotherapy center has wi-fi.

Great fun ahead. See you next time.

8 thoughts on “Malignant: All The Way

  1. Carolyn VandeWiele says:

    Pulling for you big guy…. keeping those fingers and toes crossed

  2. Regina Moore says:

    I can’t believe you took a pic of that board that says, if I read it right, “Surgery Start” by your code! Did they let you take that phone in with you?!!

  3. Susan Jones says:

    Take care, Mike–sand Karen too! We’re not returning to BL until 02/17 so we won’t get to follow you in person–hopefully you’ll still get to Hopscotch–But we will be following along every day via the pencil. Next time we see you, you’ll be done with the radiation!! We’re rooting for you!!! –Susan and Dave

  4. Catharine Rademacher says:

    Mike: hang in there.

  5. Tyler says:

    Hey Mike, I’m sorry we’re not there to give you a hug or wish you the best in person. We’ll be there soon enough to help out if we can. Hugs to The loved one.

  6. Stacey says:

    I bet the toughest skin houses the softest of hearts.

  7. Gosh, you’s makin’ this sound like, you know, so much fun! I revised some stuff on the MIke-imitation blog if yue have time to thereby amuse yurself. Signed, Fred

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