Giorno Del Ringraziamento
Thank you to the American electorate for choosing Hillary Clinton by a plurality of more than a million. As this figure sinks in, I realize I don’t despise you quite as much as I did on Wednesday morning, November 9th.
Don’t get a big head, though. Some 62.3 million of you voted for an insulting, unqualified boor.
Hell Froze Over
Special, wonderful, magical thanks to Tom Ricketts and Theo Epstein. Ricketts for having the smarts to turn the Chicago Cubs operations over to the the most astute thinker in baseball and Epstein for being that guy.
Thanks also to Joe Maddon for being an iconoclastic, free-thinking, calm, ever-so-sanguine leader — precisely what a franchise carrying a 108-year monkey on its back needed.
Thanks to Steve Volan, Kelly Wherley, Michelle Bird, Amelia Lahn, and Tamara Loewenthal for being there at my moment of supreme bliss. Thanks to Nick’s English Hut for being the locus of said bliss.
Thanks to The Loved One for draping a brand new Cubs World Series flag over me as I lay drunk and sleeping in my recliner early the next AM.
And thanks to the Chief, my mother, for instilling the heretofore-but-no-longer crushingly frustrating burden of unrequited Cubs fandom in me from an early age.
The Loved One
Patty Wong Swie San
Dr. Jeffrey Allerton
Dr. Fred Wu
Dr. Lisa Baker
Dr. Laurence Behney
Dr. William Pugh
Dr. Erin Wittrig
The registered nurses at the IU Health Medical Oncology & Hematology Infusion Center
The technicians at the IU Health Radiation Oncology Center
Mikey, you now have a sacred obligation: a follow up to your book, Coping with the Cubs. Except it now has a happy ending! Think of all the frustrated, now liberated Cubs fans out there who would read this. Strike while the iron is hot! This is your ticket to retirement!
You pal in perpetuity, Danny.