And I Quote…
You know those quizzes that are cluttering up the interwebs these days? The ones that tell you what or who you were in a previous life, whether you’re a liberal or a conservative (as if you didn’t already know), what age you’ll die, and other pressing personal trivia?
I saw one this morning that asked something on the order of “Which famous quote describes your life?” The results all seem to be Maya Angelou quotes telling you what a beautiful and vibrant flower you are.
Now, naturally, telling a person that she or he is a vibrant flower does absolutely nothing for them in the scheme of things, other than to make the recipient feel all warm and nice for about seven and a half seconds. Just like masturbation.
So I figured I’d compile a little list of quotes that really mean something. Pick whichever one you want to describe yourself or the world around you. I’m not in the mood to kid you by telling you a particular one of these lines is perfect for you. Do it yourself.
Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.
— Margaret Mead
I don’t know where I’m going but I’m on my way.
— Carl Sandburg
Carl Sandburg (With Marilyn Monroe)
Go to heaven for the climate, hell for the company.
— Mark Twain
Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.
— Mark Twain, again
My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.
— Woody Allen
Reality continues to ruin my life.
— Bill Watterson
Bill Watterson (With Calvin & A Hobbes Doll)
Parents are the last people on earth who ought to have children.
— Samuel Butler
I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.
— Oscar Wilde
If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
— Flip Wilson
My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son of a bitch.
— Jack Nicholson
Feeling warm and nice yet?