Category Archives: Family Guy

Geeky, Science-y Hot Air

Danger, Will Robinson

You gotta hear this:

I’m lucky; I don’t get robot calls on my flip phone. Maybe that’s an unintended benefit of refusing to get a smartphone. In any case, I do get robot calls at the Book Corner. I know immediately I’m getting a robot call because I interrupt and the caller doesn’t fumble for a moment trying to figure out what the heck I’m saying, as a human would. Invariably I hang up, often with a two-word send-off.

Scene from "Sleeper"

Stop Calling Me!

Robot calls (or robo-calls) come in a range of high-tech-iness. The most basic robo-calls come from schools or police departments, standardized messages warning receivers of some impending news, like a weather emergency. A more advanced robo-call utilizes something called personalized audio messaging, which is what you’re hearing in the above track.

Why, for pity’s sake, anybody would listen to a robo-call that isn’t about a tornado or a mass jail break is beyond me. It’s as senseless as reading an entire email sent from somebody whose niece is a wealthy princess and is being held captive in some central African hellhole.

Oh, Wow!

I don’t know if you caught this but last week headlines screamed that scientists have concluded that the universe may be nothing more than a hologram. In fact, some news outlets went way beyond “may be” and simply trumpeted the “fact” that everything is, in reality, a geeky picture.

Scene from "Star Wars"

OMG! George Lucas Was Right!

It all sounds so scientific and far out. Funny thing is, mostly left-leaning media seem to have glommed onto the “story.” (The links above are from Huffington Post and Raw Story.) I suppose that’s because left-leaning readers and viewers have a little bit of scientific knowledge. They know, for instance, what a hologram is and are somewhat aware that cutting edge cosmology concerns itself with incredibly counter-intuitive hypotheses. Not even the most imaginative science fiction author could have conjured string theory or an infinite number of universes.

Right-leaning readers seem stuck trying to figure out if the world is six- or seven-thousand years old and if humans rode dinosaurs.

Telling them all of existence is merely a mathematical representation encoded on a boundary of space would be like trying to tell a bandicoot all about modern advances in neurosurgery.

Bandicoot

… The Color Of The Laser Beam Must Be Adjusted To….

In this case, those who are planning a summer visit to the Creation Museum are just a tad better off than those who proudly display the Stephen Hawking book, A Brief History of Time, on their coffee tables (albeit unread). A little bit of knowledge can be a dangerous thing. Add to that the fact that headline writers are notorious drama queens and next thing you know, everybody who’s anybody “knows” the universe is a hologram.

There not only is no proof that existence is a picture, there’s no actual evidence of it either. The mathematicians who released the paper that started all the hubbub essentially were just playing around with numbers. This piece in Doubtful News dumps a bucket of cold water on the idea.

The author of the debunking piece, Nathan Miller, concludes, “It’s this sort of result-hyping that leads to a disillusioned public.”

Just a little something to think about when you think you know all you need about GMOs or childhood vaccinations.

…With Some Black Guys And Some Blow!

With a mere nine days left until the birthday of he who died for our right to bear arms, it’s time for The Pencil’s annual rip-off of The Family Guy‘s vid, “All I Really Want for Christmas.

Yellowcake and a ball, indeed!

That’s all for today. Peace, love and soul.

The Pencil Today:

HotAirLogoFinal Sunday II

THE QUOTE

“If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent the Universe.” — Carl Sagan

Sagan

YOU CAN’T MAKE ME HELP A CRIPPLE!

The Republicans are now officially mentally ill.

Eisenstaedt Photo

The 2016 Republican National Convention?

Personal to the GOP: Boys — and I do mean boys — you’ve got to cleanse yourself of the United Nations-hating nuts within your ranks. I mean, honestly, rejecting the UN disabilities advisory treaty because that world body is seen by the madmen within your ranks as some kind of threat to our national sovereignty?

UN Disabilities Convention

Click Image For The Treaty’s Complete Text

By 2016, the Republicans will be the third party in a land that only has two parties. You guys are running yourselves out of business.

STILL CRAZY

And, as long as they keep having “discussions” such as this one:

… they’re going to come no nearer to sanity than this world is to the edge of the Universe.

Dig the one guy who tells the panel that he knows “many, many people who’ve saved their own property because they had a handgun.”

Many, many people.

I’m assuming that anything under ten does not qualify as many.

Many, I would venture, means, oh say, 20 people.

Fair enough?

But he says he knows “many, many people” who’ve brandished shootin’ irons to pertekt their cabin and kin. That means he’s squaring many. Ergo, he knows upwards of 400 people who’ve pointed guns at other human beings and threatened to take their lives if they do not desist from trespassing or otherwise attempting harm.

Where the hell does this guy live, in Gaul at the time of Attila the Hun?

Atila in Gaul

EVEN CRAZIER

Then again, before we get carried away about how deranged certain folks are in this holy land, let’s consider, say, the nation of Qatar.

Until recent days, the tiny oil sheikdom has been a financial sponsor of several of the Arab Spring uprisings in the Middle East.

In public, Qatar branded itself the champion of The People Throwing off the Shackles of Tyranny.

Oops. That is until the poet Muhammad Ibn al-Dheeb al-Ajami wrote a few verses praising the Arab Spring and — uh oh — referring less than glowingly to the Qatari boss-sheiks. Ajami was tried behind closed doors (and not allowed to attend his own trial) and was sentenced to life in prison.

Despite the madnesses of our Me Party brethren and sisteren, I doubt if even they’d endorse life sentences for the writing of poetry.

At least I hope not.

THE MOTE IN GOD’S EYE

Try to wrap your mind around the concept of multiverses.

No, the term doesn’t mean a collection of poems. It’s the idea that this great big bunch of everything is really merely one of many great big bunches of everything.

From Space.Com

Yeesh

Maybe even an infinity of them.

And here we are worrying about Kate Middleton’s morning sickness.

ALL I REALLY WANT…

This is now The Electron Pencil’s official, traditional Christmas/Hannukah anthem.

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