Category Archives: Library of Congress

830 Words: All The World’s Knowledge

AMERICA 250

My series on the highlights and lowlights of American history, marking this nation’s 250th birthday. The whole idea being we, as a nation, have done great things and we’ve done rotten things. And sometimes the things we’ve done have been both great and rotten. We are, to be sure, all too human.

Ready for another highlight in the history of this holy land?

The date was April 24, 1800. President John Adams signed into law an act creating the Library of Congress. It was America’s first national library.

Today, it is one of the world’s largest such repositories of books, audio recordings, newspapers, magazines, pamphlets, prints, photographs, films, videos, relics, keepsakes, knickknacks, tchotchkes, gadgets, and whatnots. It contains, in several locations both public and behind the scenes, upward of 180 million things. It maintains some 838 miles of bookshelves. It boasts a mint-ish condition Gutenberg Bible (the darned thing is going on 600 years old!) It has George Washington’s personal papers, Madison’s draft copy of the Bill of Rights, Jefferson’s draft copy of the Declaration of Independence, Lewis & Clark’s map, copies of Frederick Douglass’s North Star abolitionist newspaper, the contents of Lincoln’s pockets the night he was shot, a grainy film clip of the Wright Brothers’ first flight in 1903, a comic book based on the life of Jackie Robinson, perhaps the smallest book in the world (it is tinier than the periods in this post), Harry Houdini’s collection of rare magic books…, in fact, the LoC acquires up to 15,000 items in a day (it employs about 3000 people — I imagine they scarcely have time to eat lunch.)

Unfortunately, neither you nor I can check out books or other materials from the Library of Congress. Dang. I would have loved to bring Rosa Parks’ peanut butter pancakes recipe home.

Rosa Parks’ “Featherlite Pancakes” Recipe, the Librrary of Congress.

The whole idea behind the LoC was to provide Congress, both the House and Senate, a place to do their homework. As the nation’s capital moved from New York to Philadelphia (or vice versa, I forget — the seat of government was awfully nomadic in the country’s early days) a sort of ad hoc congressional library moved with it. Congressbeings were expected to delve through books (imagine that!) to familiarize themselves with issues they’d be legislating on. Now, of course, they simply sit back and wait for lobbyists to bribe them; it’s more efficient. Adams’ signature on the LoC’s creation act authorized the purchase of 3000 tomes from a publisher in England. That collection, plus whatever remained from previous library incarnations, would be housed in the shiny new Capitol building.

Ironically, it was the English who destroyed that first Library of Congress. Our ex-cousins had been teed off that American forces had burned several towns and forts in Canada during the War of 1812, so when British Gen. Robert Ross marched into Washington on August 24, 1814, he ordered the burning of the Capitol as well as several other government buildings. The Capitol fire was a hell of a conflagration; after all, it was chock full of fuel, thanks to the thousands of books in the LoC.

Lucky for us, Thomas Jefferson was strapped for cash. The then-ex-president in 1815 sold his personal collection of 6487 books (he was an insatiable reader and an autodidact) to the United States for the princely sum of $23,950. That purchase seeded what would become one of the world’s biggest libraries. The LoC actually claims to be the world’s largest; other sources say the British Library is bigger. (Fun fact: the Russian and Turkish national libraries rank fourth and fifth in the world, oddly enough. You’d think China and India, each with a population well over a billion, would have bigger national libraries, but no.)

The Thomas Jefferson Building, Library of Congress.

Over the years, the Library of Congress has evolved from legislators’ proto-Wikipedia to a destination for scholars, researchers, historians, you, and me to rifle through most of the world’s curated materials. I’ll go out on a limb here and say I’d bet the entirety of humanity’s knowledge, in some form another, can be found at the LoC.

The Main Reading Room of the Library of Congress.

In this day and age of greed monkey anti-intellectualism, the idea that the federal government should create and maintain such a place, had the LoC not been founded 226 years ago, seems preposterous. The Project 2025/Heritage Foundation/Trump Family Mafia/Christian nationalist/White supremacist/science-denying anencephalics who currently run this land would view any proposal to start a taxpayer-supported public library as the demonic fever dream of commie rats.

Me? I think the existence of the Library of Congress is one very big reason to celebrate America’s 250th birthday.

The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice.Theodore Parker.

Power concedes nothing without a demand. It never did and it never will. — Frederick Douglass.

It is possible to read the history of this country as one long struggle to extend the liberties established in our Constitution to everyone in America. — Molly Ivins.

 

 

Hot Air, Now And Forever

Pain

I don’t want to slip into 1980s, Sinbad-brand humor, you know — women be different from men — but, to tell the truth, women be different from men.

(If you don’t know who Sinbad was, or if you’ve mercifully forgotten him, don’t ask questions. Just be thankful.)

Sinbad

Sinbad

Anyway, my post yesterday about the dreaded prostate exam brought scads of double-Xers out of the woodwork to proclaim that a doctor’s digits inserted into a man’s rear entrance for the purpose of gauging the size and consistency of said man’s gland is, well, nothing.

Nothing, that is, compared to what women have suffered.

It’s not even nothing. It is, these commenters will have us believe, akin to getting one’s hair tousled by a favorite uncle or finding a twenty dollar bill on the sidewalk.

What is it about women that they take such pride in the type and extent of pain they can suffer?

◗ No pain on Earth can compare to that of childbirth.

◗ Nothing is like getting a pap smear.

Speculum

Torture Device Or Stainless Steel Duck?

◗ The full pelvic exam must have been developed by a psychotic sadist.

One correspondent wrote, “Guys are such wimps.”

I get the feeling my women friends are, well, proud of the pain they’ve suffered.

Such a strange thing to be proud of. Especially considering my own life has been devoted to the avoidance of pain. I’m proud of no pain. I am proud, though, of having dodged countless episodes of pain in my 57 years.

Women, I love you all. But, y’know, we’re just different.

Maybe I am getting all Sinbad-y here. I’d better stop.

Censorship And Sensibility

As you know, this is Banned Book Week. And the number one challenged book in the nation for the year 2012 was — drum roll, please — the Dav Pilkey juvenile story series, Captain Underpants.

According to the American Library Association, the Capt. U. books were banned and otherwise persecuted by constipated, paranoiac, supremely pain-in-the-ass parents and officious do-gooders because Pilkey’s prose includes bad language.

Captain Underpants

The Officer In Question

No, not fuck or blowjob. Not that kind of bad language. And certain not rape, war, dismemberment, nuclear bomb, or slavery — hell, nixing books that contain those obscenities would probably leave nothing for our precious teens and impressionable adults to read. Which, come to think of it, just might be what many of the busybodies of this holy land want. But, back to Pilkey, his word sins include fart and snot rockets. The monster.

This variety of verbiage has driven professional tut-tutters to organize and pressure school boards and municipal libraries to remove such smut from the public’s shelves.

Makes you want to thank god we have such caring, conscientious individuals around to protect our delicate eardrums and eyes, no?

Anyway, my fave banned book always has been Mark Twain’s The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn. Use the comments section on this page to tell us what your most beloved banned book has been. Or, if you prefer, let us know the last banned book you’ve read. The following list may help. It includes selected banned titles from the Library of Congress’s Books That Shaped America exhibit.

  • The Autobiography of Malcolm X
  • Beloved
  • The Call of the Wild
  • Fahrenheit 451
  • Gone with the Wind

GWTW Book

Banned? Honestly?

  • The Great Gatsby
  • In Cold Blood
  • Invisible Man
  • Moby Dick
  • Stranger in a Strange Land
  • To Kill a Mockingbird

Moby fucking Dick?

Look, folks, these uptight lunatics have to be stopped. The first thing any of us can do is read a banned book. Do it.