Breaking News
This just in: Nothing happened in Great Britain yesterday.
Communique From The UK
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That is, nothing that came within a light year of interesting me. I have scanned all the news sites. I watched the BBC newscast last night. I monitored the radio this morning.
Again I say, not one single thing that could possibly be of use to me in understanding this world occurred in the paleo-empire upon which, the old saw holds, the sun never sets.
I just thought you’d like to know.
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No Vagina In The White House
The CNN Political Ticker blog tells me a “Stop Hillary” gang is coming together with the sole and sacred purpose of, natch, preventing the former Secretary of State and serial forgiver of her philandering husband from becoming POTUS.
Now, I don’t know if I’ve ever heard of a formal organization being establishing more than two years in advance of an election to preemptively halt one of the expected several dozen presidential aspirants from getting anywhere. Not even the putative presidency of Barack Obama so scared the poo out of people in 2005 that they began huddling to stop him.
See How Hideous A Woman President Would Look?
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Then again, Obama hadn’t declared that far in advance but even if he had, it’s doubtful anyone would have taken him so seriously as to form an anti-O club. Even after he’d declared in February 2007, no one cared enough to organize against him. Bet they’re kicking themselves, eh?
Anyways, this Stop Hillary PAC is led by a bunch of conservatives, Republican operatives, lobbyists, and other gadflies. Some guy named Garrett Marquis, who worked on John McCain’s 2008 presidential campaign appears to be the spokesman for the group. He says, “We’re supporting anything that is the opposite of Hillary.”
Considering the fact that Hillary Clinton is so centrist she makes Barack Obama look like a bandanna-masked anarchist, it seems odd that a group of guys would be so spooked by her.
Ah, wait a minute! There’s the key, no? Group of guys.
Hard as it may be to believe, the existence of a president who doesn’t carry between her legs that god-given symbol of power and righteousness, the penis, is even more terrifying than the thought of a brown Commander in Chief.
The Terror
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I mean, honestly, should Hillary Clinton be elected Prez, the collective phalluses of America would turtle so severely that, by golly, the real men of this holy land would finally have to take up arms. No more of this Next time, we’ll have our shootin’ irons namby-pamby jaw-juice. The moment Hillary takes the oath of office is next time.
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Open fire, boys, our very potency is at stake!
Bet you didn’t know this isn’t the only organization formed to make certain Hillary Clinton never, ever, ever becomes our boss. Mitt Romney’s campaign manager in 2012, Matt Rhoades, started one up even before Stop Hillary came together. That group is called America Rising.
Appropriately enough.
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Woman
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