“Gee, I wish we had one of them ‘doomsday machines’.” — Gen. Buck Turgidson in “Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb”
This just in: Barack Obama has been moved from Intensive Care to a bed in a semi-private room. Doctors say he will be able to leave the hospital in time for Tuesday’s second debate with Mitt Romney.
A hospital spokesman credits a transfusion of iron rich blood from Vice President Joe Biden last night for Obama’s sudden turnaround.
In related news, authorities say they will add fraud to the charges against Mitt Romney for the incident a week ago Tuesday that resulted in Obama’s injuries. Romney already has been charged with assault and battery. Sheriff’s deputies went to Romney’s home early this morning to take him into custody but were told by his wife that she hasn’t seen him since the night of the beating.
So, the world’s greatest minds have declared Joe Biden to be the winner of last night’s debate.
You Want A Piece Of Me?
Phew, that means Barack Obama is now back to being the prohibitive frontrunner.
In fact, there’s a movement afoot to cancel the November 6th election altogether and simply name Obama this holy land’s first Leader for Life.
Who says vice presidential debates don’t carry any weight?
Some 500 million Europeans were named winners of the formerly-august Nobel Peace Prize today in Norway.
The winners spoke with reporters via a conference call soon after the award was announced. No quotes are available because all the half billion freshly-minted Nobel laureates insisted on speaking at once and in their respective 27 languages plus countless dialects.
London Winners Rehearse Their Acceptance Speech
BULLETIN: OPENING SHOTS FIRED IN PEACE WAR!
The members of the European Union have declared war on each other. Some 13 seconds after the Nobel Committee made its announcement, Greek troops moved into Norway to seize the prize money.
Greek prime minister Antonis Samaras spoke to his country on live television soon after hostilities began. “We need that money more than those other countries,” he said.
Germany, France, and the United Kingdom immediately moved to defend Oslo as well as to protect what they consider their rightful shares of the prize money.
Greek Marines Planning Their Assault On Oslo
Due to the worldwide economic downturn, of which Greece’s financial problems are a significant part, the Nobel Committee says the Peace Prize this year will be worth only 924,321.09 euros.
This comes out to €34,234 per member country. The extra nine euro cents will be awarded to the European Union’s smallest member, Malta. The Maltese economy immediately leaped from 132nd in the world to 131st, displacing Chad.
Chad, in turn, has declared war on Malta.
The only events listings you need in Bloomington.
Friday, October 12th, 2012
Brought to you by The Electron Pencil: Bloomington Arts, Culture, Politics, and Hot Air. Daily.
STUDIO TOUR ◗ Brown County, various locations — The Backroads of Brown County Studio Tour, free, self-guided tour of 16 local artists’ & craftspersons’ studios; 10am-5pm, through October
HALLOWE’EN ◗ Haunted Hayride & Stables; Scary rides; 7-11pm
CLASS ◗ Tibetan Mongolian Buddhist Cultural Center — Seven Trainings in Contemplation, Taught by Rigzin Drolma & Anne Klein; 7-9pm
HALLOWE’EN ◗ Bakers Junction Railroad Museum — Haunted train; 7pm
STAGE ◗ Bloomington Playwrights Project — Comedy, “Rx“; 7:30pm
MUSIC ◗ Indiana State University, University Hall Theater, Terre Haute — Carrie Newcomer; 7:30pm
STAGE ◗ Brown County Playhouse, Nashville — Drama, “Last Train to Nibroc”; 7:30pm
STAGE ◗ The Lodge (formerly Space 101) — 17th Annual Director’s Symposium, Scenes for Two, Presented by Monroe County Civic Theater; 8pm
COMEDY ◗ The Comedy Attic — Glenn Wool; 8pm
MUSIC ◗ The Bishop — Balmorhea; 9:30pm
MUSIC ◗ The Bluebird — Here Come the Mummies; 9pm
MUSIC ◗ Max’s Place — The Gentle Shades, Tonal Caravan; 10pm
MUSIC ◗ Macri’s Deli — Karaoke; 10pm
COMEDY ◗ The Comedy Attic — Glenn Wool; 10:30pm
MUSIC ◗ Bear’s Place — Rap battle; 11pm
ART ◗ IU Art Museum — Exhibits:
- “New Acquisitions,” David Hockney; through October 21st
- Paintings by Contemporary Native American Artists; through October 14th
- “Paragons of Filial Piety,” by Utagawa Kuniyoshi; through December 31st
- “Intimate Models: Photographs of Husbands, Wives, and Lovers,” by Julia Margaret, Cameron, Edward Weston, & Harry Callahan; through December 31st
- “French Printmaking in the Seventeenth Century;” through December 31st
- Celebration of Cuban Art & Film: Pop-art by Joe Tilson; through December 31st
- “Workers of the World, Unite!” through December 31st
- “Embracing Nature,” by Barry Gealt; through December 23rd
- “Pioneers & Exiles: German Expressionism,” through December 23rd
ART ◗ Ivy Tech Waldron Center — Exhibits:
- “Ab-Fab — Extreme Quilting,” by Sandy Hill; October 5th through October 27th
- “Street View — Bloomington Scenes,” by Tom Rhea; October 5th through October 27th
- “From the Heartwoods,” by James Alexander Thom; October 5th through October 27th
- “The Spaces in Between,” by Ellen Starr Lyon; October 5th through October 27th
ART ◗ IU SoFA Grunwald Gallery — Exhibit:
- “Samenwerken,” Interdisciplinary collaborative multi-media works; through October 11th
ART ◗ IU Kinsey Institute Gallery — Exhibits:
- “A Place Aside: Artists and Their Partners;” through December 20th
- “Gender Expressions;” through December 20th
PHOTOGRAPHY ◗ IU Mathers Museum of World Cultures — Exhibit:
- “CUBAmistad” photos
ART ◗ IU Mathers Museum of World Cultures — Exhibits:
- “¡Cuba Si! Posters from the Revolution: 1960s and 1970s”
- “From the Big Bang to the World Wide Web: The Origins of Everything”
- “Thoughts, Things, and Theories… What Is Culture?”
- “Picturing Archaeology”
- “Personal Accents: Accessories from Around the World”
- “Blended Harmonies: Music and Religion in Nepal”
- “The Day in Its Color: A Hoosier Photographer’s Journey through Mid-century America”
- “TOYing with Ideas”
- “Living Heritage: Performing Arts of Southeast Asia”
- “On a Wing and a Prayer”
BOOKS ◗ IU Lilly Library — Exhibit:
- “Outsiders and Others:Arkham House, Weird Fiction, and the Legacy of HP Lovecraft;” through November 1st
- “A World of Puzzles,” selections form the Slocum Puzzle Collection
PHOTOGRAPHY ◗ Soup’s On — Exhibit:
- Celebration of Cuban Art & Culture: “CUBAmistad photos; through October
PHOTOGRAPHY ◗ Monroe County History Center — Exhibit:
- “Bloomington: Then and Now,” presented by Bloomington Fading; through October 27th
ARTIFACTS ◗ Monroe County History Center — Exhibit:
- “Doctors and Dentists: A Look into the Monroe County Medical professions“
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