The Pencil Today:

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THE QUOTE

“If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little electric chairs around their necks instead of crosses.” — Lenny Bruce

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DO IT NOW

Vote or shut up.

Cast your ballot today at these locations:

❐ The Curry Building, 214 W. Seventh St. — 8am-6pm

❐ Evangelical Community Church, 503 S. High St. — 10am-6pm

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JESUS IS ON

When I was a kid, this switchplate was on my bedroom wall:

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I always thought the boy kid was the world’s biggest square because he had cuffed pants, a fashion faux pas in the 1960s tantamount to wearing parachute pants to school today. Plus, he was a trousers-monster: See how high he’s got his drawers hitched up?

At the time, I was in primary school. I was trying to figure out what the nuns meant when they commanded me to love god. Just looking at that boy kid, though, convinced me that I wanted nothing to do with their god.

I’d gladly suffer the horrors of hell in exchange for not looking like such a dope.

When I hit the age of 13, I unscrewed that switchplate and replaced it with a peace sign one. Ma said, “Oh, Mike, why?” when she discovered it was gone. I think she may have been more traumatized by the realization that her little terrorist was growing up than she was that he was losing a religion he never really had.

This pic has been making the rounds on Facebook these days. The first time I saw it, it jarred me, the way seeing your class picture from the sixth or seventh grade makes a guy feel a little uncomfortable. All those cute girls who inspired stirrings and arousals and furtive sessions dedicated to the intense contemplation of their budding breasts suddenly seem a bit embarrassing, considering those little girls were, well, little girls.

Anyway, thank heavens neither I nor my peers who had that same switchplate (trust me, every Catholic school kid had one) were as perceptive as we are now. Note the position of the on-off switch.

I mean, honestly!

Is it possible that whoever designed this thing simply could not see what was going on here?

Man. Lucky I’m not a conspiracy theorist or I’d think the Catholic Church had some kind of weird sex thing going on.

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The only events listings you need in Bloomington.

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Monday, October 22nd, 2012

VOTE TODAY ◗ Two Locations, Bloomington:

  • The Curry Building, 214 W. Seventh St.; 8am-6pm
  • Evangelical Community Church, 503 S. High St.; 10am-6pm

STUDIO TOUR ◗ Brown County, various locations — The Backroads of Brown County Studio Tour, free, self-guided tour of 16 local artists’ & craftspersons’ studios; 10am-5pm, through October

MUSIC & LECTURE ◗ IU Auer Hall — Ludger Lohman on organ & talks about Franz Listz’s “Fantasia” and Fugue on B-A-C-H; 3pm

FILM ◗ IU Hillel Center — “Paperclips,” Part of Hillel’s Holocaust Awarenes Program; 6pm

MUSIC & LECTURE ◗ IU Auer Hall — Ludger Lohman on organ & talks about Franz Listz’s “Fantasia” and Fugue on B-A-C-H; 6pm

LECTURE ◗ IU Ernie Pyle Hall — School of Journalism Speakers Series: Rajiv Chandrasekaran of the Washington Post; 6:30pm

CLASS ◗ The Lodge — Tango lessons, Presented by Bloomington Argentine Tango Organization: 6:30pm

FILM ◗ IU Cinema — “Project Nim“; 7pm

LECTURE ◗ IU Memorial Union, Whittenberger Auditorium — “What Is the Higgs Boson?” Presented by Harold Ogren; 7pm

MUSIC ◗ IU Ford-Crawford Hall — Studio Recital: Octubafest 2012, Daniel Pernatoni, director; 7pm

MUSIC ◗ Muddy Boots Cafe, Nashville — Richard Groner; 7-9pm

LECTURE ◗ IU Sweeney Hall — Guest lecturer, Composer Joseph Schwantner; 7pm

MUSIC ◗ IU Musical Arts Center — Lobby Concert Series: Jazz Combo; 7:15pm

STAGE ◗ IU Wells-Metz Theatre — “Richard III“; 7:30pm

MUSIC ◗ Rachael’s Cafe — Mathis Grey; 7:30pm

MUSIC ◗ The Bluebird — Dinosaur Jr; 8pm

MUSIC ◗ IU Musical Arts Center — Jazz Ensemble, Director: Brent Wallarab, Guest Artist: Curtis Fuller on trombone; 8pm

MUSIC ◗ The Player’s Pub — Songwriter Showcase; 8pm

MUSIC ◗ The Bishop — DJ Jeremy Brightbill; 8pm

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ONGOING:

ART ◗ IU Art Museum — Exhibits:

  • “New Acquisitions,” David Hockney; through October 21st
  • “Paragons of Filial Piety,” by Utagawa Kuniyoshi; through December 31st
  • “Intimate Models: Photographs of Husbands, Wives, and Lovers,” by Julia Margaret, Cameron, Edward Weston, & Harry Callahan; through December 31st
  • “French Printmaking in the Seventeenth Century;” through December 31st
  • Celebration of Cuban Art & Film: Pop-art by Joe Tilson; through December 31st
  • “Threads of Love: Baby Carriers from China’s Minority Nationalities“; through December 23rd
  • “Workers of the World, Unite!” through December 31st
  • “Embracing Nature,” by Barry Gealt; through December 23rd
  • “Pioneers & Exiles: German Expressionism,” through December 23rd

ART ◗ Ivy Tech Waldron Center — Exhibits:

  • “Ab-Fab — Extreme Quilting,” by Sandy Hill; October 5th through October 27th
  • “Street View — Bloomington Scenes,” by Tom Rhea; October 5th through October 27th
  • “From the Heartwoods,” by James Alexander Thom; October 5th through October 27th
  • “The Spaces in Between,” by Ellen Starr Lyon; October 5th through October 27th

ART ◗ IU SoFA Grunwald Gallery — Exhibit:

  • Buzz Spector: Off the Shelf; through November 16th
  • Small Is Big; Through November 16th

ART ◗ IU Kinsey Institute Gallery — Exhibits:

  • “A Place Aside: Artists and Their Partners;” through December 20th
  • “Gender Expressions;” through December 20th

PHOTOGRAPHY ◗ IU Mathers Museum of World Cultures — Exhibit:

  • “CUBAmistad” photos

ART ◗ IU Mathers Museum of World Cultures — Exhibits:

  • “¡Cuba Si! Posters from the Revolution: 1960s and 1970s”
  • “From the Big Bang to the World Wide Web: The Origins of Everything”
  • “Thoughts, Things, and Theories… What Is Culture?”
  • “Picturing Archaeology”
  • “Personal Accents: Accessories from Around the World”
  • “Blended Harmonies: Music and Religion in Nepal”
  • “The Day in Its Color: A Hoosier Photographer’s Journey through Mid-century America”
  • “TOYing with Ideas”
  • “Living Heritage: Performing Arts of Southeast Asia”
  • “On a Wing and a Prayer”

BOOKS ◗ IU Lilly Library — Exhibit:

  • “Outsiders and Others: Arkham House, Weird Fiction, and the Legacy of HP Lovecraft;” through November 1st
  • “A World of Puzzles,” selections from the Slocum Puzzle Collection

PHOTOGRAPHY ◗ Soup’s On — Exhibit:

  • Celebration of Cuban Art & Culture: “CUBAmistad photos; through October

PHOTOGRAPHY ◗ Monroe County History Center — Exhibit:

  • “Bloomington: Then and Now,” presented by Bloomington Fading; through October 27th

ARTIFACTS ◗ Monroe County History Center — Exhibits:

  • Doctors & Dentists: A Look into the Monroe County Medical Professions
  • What Is Your Quilting Story?
  • Garden Glamour: Floral Fashion Frenzy
  • Bloomington Then & Now
  • World War II Uniforms
  • Limestone Industry in Monroe County

The Ryder & The Electron Pencil: Bloomington’s Best

3 thoughts on “The Pencil Today:”

  1. Candy says:

    Jesus is on! Thanks for the Monday morning laugh Big Mike!

  2. dave paglis the lake county republican (the line is shorter) says:

    Dittos Rush er, I mean Mike. I’m going to the courthouse today and see if I can vote. The Republican line should be even shorter.

  3. Mikey, whatever you are, you’re not a conspiracy *theorist* — you’re a conspiracy *pragmatist.* Mmmmmmwah.

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