The Pencil Today:


“If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little electric chairs around their necks instead of crosses.” — Lenny Bruce


Vote or shut up.

Cast your ballot today at these locations:

The Curry Building, 214 W. Seventh St. — 8am-6pm

Evangelical Community Church, 503 S. High St. — 10am-6pm


When I was a kid, this switchplate was on my bedroom wall:

I always thought the boy kid was the world’s biggest square because he had cuffed pants, a fashion faux pas in the 1960s tantamount to wearing parachute pants to school today. Plus, he was a trousers-monster: See how high he’s got his drawers hitched up?

At the time, I was in primary school. I was trying to figure out what the nuns meant when they commanded me to love god. Just looking at that boy kid, though, convinced me that I wanted nothing to do with their god.

I’d gladly suffer the horrors of hell in exchange for not looking like such a dope.

When I hit the age of 13, I unscrewed that switchplate and replaced it with a peace sign one. Ma said, “Oh, Mike, why?” when she discovered it was gone. I think she may have been more traumatized by the realization that her little terrorist was growing up than she was that he was losing a religion he never really had.

This pic has been making the rounds on Facebook these days. The first time I saw it, it jarred me, the way seeing your class picture from the sixth or seventh grade makes a guy feel a little uncomfortable. All those cute girls who inspired stirrings and arousals and furtive sessions dedicated to the intense contemplation of their budding breasts suddenly seem a bit embarrassing, considering those little girls were, well, little girls.

Anyway, thank heavens neither I nor my peers who had that same switchplate (trust me, every Catholic school kid had one) were as perceptive as we are now. Note the position of the on-off switch.

I mean, honestly!

Is it possible that whoever designed this thing simply could not see what was going on here?

Man. Lucky I’m not a conspiracy theorist or I’d think the Catholic Church had some kind of weird sex thing going on.

The only events listings you need in Bloomington.

Monday, October 22nd, 2012

VOTE TODAY ◗ Two Locations, Bloomington:

  • The Curry Building, 214 W. Seventh St.; 8am-6pm
  • Evangelical Community Church, 503 S. High St.; 10am-6pm

STUDIO TOUR ◗ Brown County, various locationsThe Backroads of Brown County Studio Tour, free, self-guided tour of 16 local artists’ & craftspersons’ studios; 10am-5pm, through October

MUSIC & LECTURE IU Auer HallLudger Lohman on organ & talks about Franz Listz’s “Fantasia” and Fugue on B-A-C-H; 3pm

FILM ◗ IU Hillel Center — “Paperclips,” Part of Hillel’s Holocaust Awarenes Program; 6pm

MUSIC & LECTURE ◗ IU Auer HallLudger Lohman on organ & talks about Franz Listz’s “Fantasia” and Fugue on B-A-C-H; 6pm

LECTURE ◗ IU Ernie Pyle HallSchool of Journalism Speakers Series: Rajiv Chandrasekaran of the Washington Post; 6:30pm

CLASS ◗ The LodgeTango lessons, Presented by Bloomington Argentine Tango Organization: 6:30pm

FILM ◗ IU Cinema — “Project Nim“; 7pm

LECTURE ◗ IU Memorial Union, Whittenberger Auditorium — “What Is the Higgs Boson?” Presented by Harold Ogren; 7pm

MUSIC ◗ IU Ford-Crawford HallStudio Recital: Octubafest 2012, Daniel Pernatoni, director; 7pm

MUSIC ◗ Muddy Boots Cafe, NashvilleRichard Groner; 7-9pm

LECTURE ◗ IU Sweeney HallGuest lecturer, Composer Joseph Schwantner; 7pm

MUSIC ◗ IU Musical Arts CenterLobby Concert Series: Jazz Combo; 7:15pm

STAGE ◗ IU Wells-Metz Theatre — “Richard III“; 7:30pm

MUSIC ◗ Rachael’s CafeMathis Grey; 7:30pm

MUSIC ◗ The BluebirdDinosaur Jr; 8pm

MUSIC ◗ IU Musical Arts CenterJazz Ensemble, Director: Brent Wallarab, Guest Artist: Curtis Fuller on trombone; 8pm

MUSIC ◗ The Player’s PubSongwriter Showcase; 8pm

MUSIC ◗ The BishopDJ Jeremy Brightbill; 8pm


ART ◗ IU Art MuseumExhibits:

  • “New Acquisitions,” David Hockney; through October 21st
  • “Paragons of Filial Piety,” by Utagawa Kuniyoshi; through December 31st
  • “Intimate Models: Photographs of Husbands, Wives, and Lovers,” by Julia Margaret, Cameron, Edward Weston, & Harry Callahan; through December 31st
  • French Printmaking in the Seventeenth Century;” through December 31st
  • Celebration of Cuban Art & Film: Pop-art by Joe Tilson; through December 31st
  • Threads of Love: Baby Carriers from China’s Minority Nationalities“; through December 23rd
  • Workers of the World, Unite!” through December 31st
  • Embracing Nature,” by Barry Gealt; through December 23rd
  • Pioneers & Exiles: German Expressionism,” through December 23rd

ART ◗ Ivy Tech Waldron CenterExhibits:

  • Ab-Fab — Extreme Quilting,” by Sandy Hill; October 5th through October 27th
  • Street View — Bloomington Scenes,” by Tom Rhea; October 5th through October 27th
  • From the Heartwoods,” by James Alexander Thom; October 5th through October 27th
  • The Spaces in Between,” by Ellen Starr Lyon; October 5th through October 27th

ART ◗ IU SoFA Grunwald GalleryExhibit:

  • Buzz Spector: Off the Shelf; through November 16th
  • Small Is Big; Through November 16th

ART ◗ IU Kinsey Institute GalleryExhibits:

  • A Place Aside: Artists and Their Partners;” through December 20th
  • Gender Expressions;” through December 20th

PHOTOGRAPHY ◗ IU Mathers Museum of World CulturesExhibit:

  • “CUBAmistad” photos

ART ◗ IU Mathers Museum of World CulturesExhibits:

  • “¡Cuba Si! Posters from the Revolution: 1960s and 1970s”
  • “From the Big Bang to the World Wide Web: The Origins of Everything”
  • “Thoughts, Things, and Theories… What Is Culture?”
  • “Picturing Archaeology”
  • “Personal Accents: Accessories from Around the World”
  • “Blended Harmonies: Music and Religion in Nepal”
  • “The Day in Its Color: A Hoosier Photographer’s Journey through Mid-century America”
  • “TOYing with Ideas”
  • “Living Heritage: Performing Arts of Southeast Asia”
  • “On a Wing and a Prayer”

BOOKS ◗ IU Lilly LibraryExhibit:

  • Outsiders and Others: Arkham House, Weird Fiction, and the Legacy of HP Lovecraft;” through November 1st
  • A World of Puzzles,” selections from the Slocum Puzzle Collection

PHOTOGRAPHY ◗ Soup’s OnExhibit:

  • Celebration of Cuban Art & Culture: “CUBAmistad photos; through October

PHOTOGRAPHY ◗ Monroe County History CenterExhibit:

  • Bloomington: Then and Now,” presented by Bloomington Fading; through October 27th

ARTIFACTS ◗ Monroe County History CenterExhibits:

  • Doctors & Dentists: A Look into the Monroe County Medical Professions
  • What Is Your Quilting Story?
  • Garden Glamour: Floral Fashion Frenzy
  • Bloomington Then & Now
  • World War II Uniforms
  • Limestone Industry in Monroe County

The Ryder & The Electron Pencil: Bloomington’s Best

3 thoughts on “The Pencil Today:

  1. Candy says:

    Jesus is on! Thanks for the Monday morning laugh Big Mike!

  2. dave paglis the lake county republican (the line is shorter) says:

    Dittos Rush er, I mean Mike. I’m going to the courthouse today and see if I can vote. The Republican line should be even shorter.

  3. Mikey, whatever you are, you’re not a conspiracy *theorist* — you’re a conspiracy *pragmatist.* Mmmmmmwah.

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