“All things entail rising and falling timing. You must be able to discern this.” — Miyamoto Musashi
COMCAST ÜBER ALLES
Hi. We’re alive. I’m alive.
This communications colossus was rendered inert for a time by the Evil Empire known as Comcast.
Comcast Panzers Move Into Position
Yup. Several days ago my home broadband service went down and, in keeping with Comcast’s less-than sterling customer service reputation, that outfit couldn’t have screwed up the fix any more than it did.
The fact that we’re back on the interwebs really astounds me, considering how much pure torture and agony The Loved One and I have gone through. We are true heroes. Firemen and soldiers got nuffin’ on us.
My throat is sore from roaring and shrieking at the poor subcontinent minimum-wagers who had the misfortune to field any of my half dozen calls to Comcast as my old modem sat there blinking wrongly, mocking me.
Trust me, that Comcast bunch may as well be some comic caricature of the unfeeling, monolithic, corporate overlords, the likes of which were so chi-chi back in the ’60s. You may remember Colonel “Bat” Guano warning Group Captain Mandrake not to mess with Coca Cola in “Dr. Strangelove…,” or all the old Tonight Show gags about Ma Bell.
“You’re Gonna Have To Answer To The Coca Cola Company.”
Zapping hi-tech corporations comedically may be taboo these days. Should anyone joke about the inscrutable, people-unfriendly nature of, say, Foxconn, Fujitsu, or LG, that poor soul would immediately be branded the Luddite laughingstock of the universe.
It’s left only to subversive, Occupy-ish firebrands to bay at the moon about how horribly many of these tech firms treat humanity.
Well, call me a subversive, Occupy-ish firebrand. Comcast blows. And I don’t care how fast its broadband is.
The Historic Comcast Party Rally
TIMING IS EVERYTHING
So, as long as the “daily” nature of this Hot Air communique has been interrupted by the villainous Comcasters, I figure it’s the perfect time to take a necessary hiatus to rejigger this operation. I’m changing the set-up to a magazine format so we can bring you new! more! and exciting! stuff.
The Electron Pencil Staff Working On The New Magazine
I figure we’ll be off a week or two before the new incarnation of the Pencil appears. So, until then, Pencillistas, try to find some way to occupy your time without breaking any laws or — worse — turning on your TV. I know, it’ll be tough, but you can do it.