The Electron Pencil

When Li’l Duce transmogrified into President Gag, I predicted he wouldn’t last long as Commander-in-Chief. It wasn’t because he’d be impeached, a prospect I find about as likely as me winning the Indiana State Lottery (I don’t play). I figured he’d quit the job when its enormity overwhelmed him. He never really wanted the job. He ran as lark, hoping to up his Q-rating and enhance his and his family’s brand. He had no interest in doing the dirty work of being president — you know, things like monitoring all the departments and agencies of the government of the world’s richest, most powerful and third most populous nation, maintaining good and efficient relations with all this nation’s allies, and keeping a watchful eye on its rivals and enemies. Oh, and setting a moral and cultural tone for the 330 million of us.

These are things a president must do. These responsibilities take up every waking moment of the typical president’s day. Prior to the P. Gag era, occupants of the Oval Office appeared to age some 20 years after their first six months in the hot seat.

We know Li’l Duce didn’t want the job because enough insiders have leaked his and his people’s chagrin that, for chrissakes, he did win the goddamned 2016 election. They all basically said, Shit, now we’re stuck!

I figured he’d luxuriate in all the pomp and circumstance, dig all the trappings, tumesce over all the generals saluting him, thrill over bands playing “Hail to the Chief” whenever he walked into a room, rub shoulders with real statespeople and world leaders, and, after six months or so, say All that’s great but, man, those Cabinet meetings, and that strategizing, and the worries, and…, and…, and…, I gotta get the hell outta here!

What I never really and truly foresaw was the fact that he had no intention of doing the honest work of the president. Oh sure, I was hip to his nefarious plan — to an extent. His first choice for running mate was Ohio Sen. John Kasich. Candidate Trump, sources said, offered Kasich the job and promised him, essentially, You’re going to be doing the dirty work; I’m going to gad about the country as making America great again. Kasich, to his credit, turned the offer down. But, silly me, I figured there’d be no way Trump could shirk the actual duties of the office.

Well, whaddya know? So far the Gag presidency has turned out just exactly as he envisioned it. Our dear C-in-C tweets and pontificates, revels in the folderol, and prances around, literally and figuratively, like a tin-pot dictator while the wet dreams of Vice President Pence and the rest of the Capitalist/Darwinist, Rand-ian true believers are encoded into law or put into practice. The only real toil the president does now is sign executive orders and have his picture taken. The rest of his day is taken up with the delicious task of reminding the country and the world that he’s the leader of, and the biggest man in, the aforementioned richest, most powerful nation on the planet.

Guess what. For Li’l Duce the job of president has turned out to be unexpectedly, surprisingly, hell, shockingly easy.

Guess what again. He’s not going to quit. In fact, he’s going to run again. Not only that, should polls and other tea leaf readings indicate his hold on the job may be less than absolutely assured, he’s going to really get to work.

Would you believe he might not leave the White House should the electorate choose to evict him?

I would.

You think that’s crazy? About as crazy as imagining him, some two or three years ago, actually becoming president in the first place.

As Michael Moore said on Bill Maher’s show Friday night:

In The Handmaid’s Tale, the best part of the show are the parts where she tries to figure out where was the point that it was too late? Where was the point where if we had all just risen up, we’d just done something? But because it happens in little increments — that’s how fascism works…. this is the moment.

With P. Gag about to name yet another Supreme Court Justice, with the Democratic Party being a pusillanimous collection of good little hall monitors and scared bunnies, and with white male America terrified that its position of power and privilege is slipping away as the country’s demographics change and motivated to do what it takes to stay on top, yeah, this is the moment.

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