2013 Federal Shutdown, Chicago Cubs, Hanging Chads, Joy Shayne Laughter, Nagasaki, Tony Brewer

Hot Airedales

Hanging In There

Ju-u-u-u-ust wondering: What if a noted B-town expatriate who is now an ex-expatriate wanted his old job back here?

And what if that old job, mirabile dictu, is still open from the time that ex-expat left this glorious metrop.?

What might happen?

Would the governing board of the local cultural institution communicate through winks and nudges that, although the ex-expat would have to go through the formality of the application and interview process that all other seekers of that plum-ish job have endured, he might as well start hanging his awards back up on his old office walls? Those board members who will vote on the job vacancy wouldn’t be letting the other applicants hang like chads?

Or would they?

Who Doesn’t Love Dalmatians?

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More, More, More

Staying on the local scene, yet another of our ink-stained wretches, Joy Shayne Laughter, tells me poet/Superman Tony Brewer actually has published three books now. I neglected to mention yesterday his first book, The Great American Scapegoat.

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Hurts So Good

Alright, this is really whacked, so bear with me. Ever since I emerged from my blissful, childlike slumber at the age of 11 in 1967 and became a Cubs fan, I have endured precisely 3869 of their regular season losses. In addition, my heart was broken a total of 19 times in those rare years the Cubs qualified for post-season play.

That’s right, my beloved Cubs have proven themselves inferior nearly 4000 times since I hitched my emotional wagon to them.

And you wonder why I occasionally show signs of bitterness and hopelessness.

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Fat Man Was a Firecracker

And, in case you were wondering, it is now Day 3 of what has been variously described as a “pinprick,” a “slimdown,” “not a big deal,” “nothing to worry about,” and countless other borderline criminal euphemisms.

Yes, the Shutdown. Some 800,000 federal employees are out of work for the time being. Many, no doubt, are wondering how they might keep up with such trivialities as utility bills, rent, mortgage payements, and keeping the larder stocked but, y’know, that’s not a big deal.

In other news, Tea Party-ists have signed a letter to the residents of Nagasaki, Japan telling them to quit bringing up the events of August 9, 1945, because, after all, it was only one airplane dropping one bomb. Jeez, people, get over it!

Oooh! Aaah!

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09/18/2013

6 Comments

Chicago Cubs, Death With Dignity, John F. Kennedy

Aria Calda

Per La Capa

The above headline, translated from the Italian, means Hot Air (with the subhead signifying, For the Chief). But, hell, this is good ol’ Bloomington, home of Indiana University and some of the smartest people on Earth (including you), so you knew that.

Anyhow, it’s in honor of my mother, The Chief (La Capa, natch). She got the bejesus kicked out of her, first by gravity, then by dehydration. See, she keeled over in the middle of the night next to her bed and there she remained for the next couple of days (at least).

She came within a hair’s breadth of turning in her meal card, thereby becoming eligible to meet at last one of her great heroes, John F. Kennedy, face to face, in god’s good heaven. That is, if both she and he merit eternal residence at the foot of the Big Daddy-o in the Sky.

Her Hero

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My brother and his son, who live nearby her in west suburban Chicagoland, dropped in on her a week ago Saturday and found her staring at the ceiling, both her hips fractured, one femur shattered, and the crown of her pelvis cracked off. Lucky for her, she doesn’t remember a thing about it all.

Unluckily, The Chief is going to have to move out of her apartment. I’m telling you, she was more proud of living alone and being able to take care of herself into her 93rd year than anything else she’d ever done. Now, she may never walk again and she’ll have to live in a nursing home.

By my reckoning, the only bigger disappointment she’s ever experienced was the great Cubs collapse in 1969. “If they can’t win it this year,” she said, dolefully, as that star-crossed season wound down, “they’ll never win it.”

Before The Fall, August 1969

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Here we are, 44 years later and whaddya know? The Chief was right.

I rebelled against pretty much everything my parents stood for when I was a teenager. Hell, if it was at all possible, I would have held my breath simply because they found it imperative to fill their own lungs with air. But even then, I shared with my mother a love of the Cubs. Even while we argued about whether or not the sun would rise in the east the next morning, we could at least agree that we wanted, more than anything, our Cubs to win something, anything.

I doubt if there was ever a phone conversation between us during any baseball season where one of us wouldn’t ask the other, “Didja see the game today?”

It was our way of saying I love you. Because, truth be told, we didn’t know how to say it any other way.

Heaven On Earth

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She has already slipped into a deep funk over her predicament. I know because she told me so. And even if she hadn’t said a word about her gloom, I would have known. I sat with her in the hospital and she never once asked me what the Cubs did that day.

Here’s a secret, and I hope everyone who reads this will understand. I wish my brother and his son had arrived at her apartment a half hour or even an hour later. She could have slipped away without suffering the indignity of living in a wheelchair, at best, in a nursing home.

The way I see it, she has already suffered one crushing disappointment in her life. She doesn’t need another.

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One Day

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01/01/2013

3 Comments

Albert Einstein, Barack Obama, Chicago Bears, Chicago Cubs, Chief Keef, Ernie Banks, Guns, Interscope Records, Iran, Jed Hoyer, Lil Jo Jo Coleman, Lovie Smith, Michael Jordan, Northbrook Illinois, Theo Epstein, Universal Health Care

The Pencil Today:

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THE QUOTE

“A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new.” — Albert Einstein

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HAPPY N. Y.

Things I hope for this year:

◗ Barack Obama makes it through all 365 days without a serious attempt on his life.

◗ The gamesmanship between Iran and the West peters out.

◗ Someone (besides me) comes up with the bright idea of imposing an embargo on gun manufacturing for at least a year. We’ve got plenty o’guns already; let’s chill on making new ones for a while, no?

Plenty

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◗ The Loved One continues on in sterling health.

◗ My faulty cardiac cellular structure does not betray me and go haywire just yet.

◗ Theo Epstein, Jed Hoyer, et al continue to make positive strides in their remaking of the entire Chicago Cubs organization.

Hoyer (L) & Eptsein: My Happiness Is In Their Hands

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◗ Certain friends who suffer right now from mental and emotional distress can find relief.

◗ We move significant steps closer to:

Universal affordable health care
Universal affordable safe, secure housing
Universal affordable access to education, including colleges and universities

◗ Thousands — nay, hundreds of thousands — of new visitors to this communications colossus.

The Electron Pencil Tower, Outside Beautiful Bloomington

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THE ELECTRON PENCIL COVERS THE EARTH

How cool was 2012? I’ll tell you how cool.

The Electron Pencil drew readers from 176 countries on this mad, mad planet. I mean, we even got readers from such exotic outposts as Suriname, Cameroon, Tajikistan, Papua New Guinea, and Moldova. Truth. That’s what WordPress tells us.

Our Most Loyal Tajikistani Reader

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Whoever you people are, thanks.

Our next goal? Mars.

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NICE GUYS FINISH….

The hell of professional sports is that the best people are far too often the worst coaches.

For instance, Chicago Bears head coach Lovie Smith was fired yesterday after leading the team to an overall winning record of 81-63 in his nine years at the helm. He even led the Bears to a Super Bowl, where they were demolished by some guys wearing blue from Indy in 2007.

From all accounts, Lovie Smith is one of the calmest, most compassionate, most dignified men in the entire sports world. That’s quite an accomplishment when one considers the typical NFL field boss has the morals and character of a mafia don.

“Good” Isn’t Good Enough

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But poor Lovie apparently lacked the cutthroat necessities to push his players and entire organization past the point of fairly good to that of dominant. He wasn’t a killer, as the term is defined in the uber-biz of games for pay.

Lots of folks who cheerlead for high school and college sports programs claim that participating in the games is great for the moral and character development of young men and women. Team play, they say, prepares youngsters for success in life.

My response? Man, I hope not.

Amateur sports have bought into the win-at-all-costs mentality of the pro games. Most states’ highest paid employees are the coaches of their university football or basketball programs. Character? Hah! Just win, baby.

The Next Bears’ Head Coach?

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I don’t feel sorry for Lovie Smith, the man. He made a pile of dough disappointing the very demanding Chicago football fans. Neither he nor his children will have to worry about their next meals for the rest of their lives.

Our mania for sports (of which I, a live-and-die Cubs fan, am all too much a part) teaches us too often that good, civilized men are failures. I feel sorry for us.

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PROGRESS, SORT OF

When I was a kid, my Uncle Vince and his family lived in the tony Chicago suburb of Northbrook.

Uncle Vince (who’s still alive and kicking at the age of 96, BTW) bought his home in the late 1950s when Northbrook was still ringed by farmland. He got in when the getting was good. Within 25 years, Northbrook had become one of the meccas to which extremely comfortable white families could escape from the big, bad, scary (read, increasingly black) city.

My own family was still in the city — admittedly on the outskirts, but, nonetheless, my suburban aunts and uncles would constantly pepper my parents with pleadings to “get the hell out of that shithole where people live on top of each other.”

Uncle Vince’s Northbrook house was straight out of a real estate man’s wet dream. It had a broad front lawn. A garage door that opened at the click of a button from inside the car (a wonder in that day and age.) An automatic dishwasher. Air conditioning (we had windows.) A chime doorbell, as opposed to our raucous buzzer. Uncle Vince’s backyard was more than an acre which, in my neighborhood, would have covered some half dozen homes and yards.

Seemingly every time we visited Uncle Vince, my cousin Tony would be washing his brand new Pontiac Grand Prix on the big driveway in front of the house.

A Rich Kids’ Car

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I always thought that Uncle Vince was as rich as the Rockefellers. At the age of seven, I figured his home was a mansion.

The one thing folks in Northbrook didn’t have was black neighbors.

This fact was brought home to me one day when I overheard Uncle Vince telling my father about a horrible, alarming incident that’d happened on the block the previous week. Uncle Vince spoke in hushed tones, as if loath to shake up the women and the kids.

A black man had been seen walking down the street.

Someplace Other Than Northbrook

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Neighbor had consulted with neighbor. Certain high-ranking municipal officials had been notified.

Uncle Vince tried to put a good spin on the incident. Perhaps the black man was in Northbrook to do some menial labor. Or maybe he was lost.

Then Uncle Vince and my father fell silent, as if in contemplation of a too-horrible alternative.

Not that my family’s Chicago neighborhood was an integrationist’s dream, mind you. One day, a couple of years earlier, while I was walking to the grocery store with my mother, a black man had passed us by, the first I’d ever seen in the flesh.

I gaped at him as he passed. Ma clunked me on the side of the head and hissed, “Don’t stare!”

Still, the man fascinated me. “Ma,” I asked once I was certain he was out of earshot, “what’s wrong with that guy?”

Why?

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“He’s just going to work somewhere, I guess,” she said.

“Oh.” I pondered the situation and then came to a conclusion. The man had a job that made him extremely dirty. Perhaps he dug holes somewhere nearby. Why else would his skin be black?

“Ma?”

“What?” she said, edgy, aware of the Pandora’s box lid being lifted.

“Why doesn’t he just take a bath?”

She clunked me on the side of the head again.

Only later, when I was eight, did I learn what the man’s problem was. Mr. Mitchell, our neighbor from across the alley explained it. The man, he said, was a nigger.

I went inside. “Ma,” I said, “what’s a nigger?”

She clunked me on the side of the head.

Eventually, I learned to duck when asking tough questions. I also learned that black men stayed out of places like Northbrook and Highland Park and Palatine and Glenview. It was no more likely that a black family would live in any of those places than they would on the moon.

Times change, though.

Michael Jordan lived in Highland Park when he was the toast of the town. When I was small and Ernie Banks was Chicago’s favorite black man, he had to live in the South Side neighborhood of Chatham, which was black. Progress.

Not A Good Neighbor?

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Today, I learn that the rapper Chief Keef has bought a big, comfortable home in Northbrook. Chief Keef is not white Chicago’s favorite black man. His first album, “Finally Rich,” debuted a couple of weeks ago on the Interscope Records label.

The album includes the songs “No Tomorrow,” “Hate Bein’ Sober,” “Laughin’ to the Bank,” and “Ballin’.”

Chief Keef won’t be 18 years old until August yet he’s already gained a startling reputation. He’s been busted on a weapons charge and is being investigated in connection with the shooting death of rapper “Lil Jo Jo” Coleman — a homicide which Chief Keef mocked on his Twitter page. He has posted a video of himself firing a gun at a shooting range, a violation of his juvenile court probation. He has threatened critics with violence. He has also posted an Instagram video showing him getting a blow job.

Northbrook’s Very Own, Chief Keef

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No, Chief Keef is not Chicago favorite black man. He’s not even a man yet.

He owns a home in Northbrook, though.

He’s made a lot of money in his short life so far. Money absolves a lot of sins.

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11/06/2012

1 Comment

Ayn Rand, Barack Obama, Chicago Cubs, Electoral College, John F. Kennedy, Liberals, Lyndon B. Johnson, Molly Ivins, Ray Charles, Saul Alinsky

The Pencil Today:

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THE QUOTE

“Being president is like being a jackass in a hailstorm. There’s nothing to do but to stand there and take it.” — Lyndon B. Johnson

Johnson & Kennedy

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AT LAST!

This is it, kiddies. Who’s your hero: Ayn Rand or Saul Alinsky?

Time to put up or shut up. If you haven’t voted yet, get going.

In Monroe County, you may vote at The Curry Building, 214, W. Seventh St. Or you can go old school and vote at your precinct polling place.

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BIG MIKE MAKES THE CALL

Alright, let’s get down to cases.

Here’s what’s going to happen today. I’ve already told you Barack Obama’s going to win. Now I’ll give you the margin.

We’ll Do It Again In January

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The winning margin for the Democratic candidate for President of the United States in the popular vote will approach five percentage points.

That’s right. My guy will be reelected by a rounded-off plurality of 52-47 percent. That odd one percent will go to the usual lineup of perennial candidates and write-ins for Mickey Mouse.

A number of states have broken their own records for number of early voters. Big voter turnout is good news for Obama.

Here’s the dramatic prediction, though: Obama will win the electoral college contest in a landslide with some 300 votes.

I feel confident in these projections, as confident as I felt when I predicted the Chicago Cubs would go to the World Series in 2004.

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NICE MEME

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… THE BEAUTIFUL

There’s plenty to be outraged and disgusted about in this holy land. Still, hidden somewhere deep beneath the the jingoism, the greed, the entitlement, the delusion, the willful ignorance, and the maddening piety, lies a republic of the people.

Had he been alive when this whole crazy American idea got off the ground, Ray Charles would have been a slave, considered to be somewhat less than fully human. By the time he died in 2004 he’d become the designated psalmist for the nation.

It’s worth thinking about the truest quote I’ve ever read about this nation. It was written by another person who’d been written out of America’s charter, a woman, Molly Ivins. By the time she died in 2007, she’d become the plain-speaking conscience of the nation.

“It is possible,” she wrote, “to read the history of this country as one long struggle to extend the liberties established in our Constitution to everyone in America.”

That’s why I vote.

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The only events listings you need in Bloomington.

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Tuesday, November 6th, 2012

VOTE ◗ The Curry Building, 214 W. Seventh St. or your local polling place; 6am-6pm

MUSIC ◗ IU Auer Hall — Doctoral Recital: Namanja Ostojic on guitar; 5pm

POETRY ◗ The Venue Fine Art & Gifts — Reading, “The Art of Poetry,” By Jenny Kander; 5:30pm

MUSIC ◗ The Bishop — Election Viewing Party; 7pm

FILM ◗ IU Cinema — “Nenette and Boni“; 7pm

MUSIC ◗ Muddy Boots Cafe, Nashville — The Indiana Boys All-Star Jam; 7-9pm

MUSIC ◗ IU Musical Arts Center, Recital Hall — Guitar Studio Recital: Students of Petar Jankovic; 7pm

STAGE ◗ IU Halls Theatre — Drama, “Spring Awakening“; 7:30pm

MUSIC ◗ The Player’s Pub — Blues Jam; 8pm

MUSIC ◗ IU Auer Hall — Wind Ensemble, Stephen W. Pratt, conductor; 8pm

GAMES ◗ The Root Cellar at Farm Bloomington — Team trivia; 8pm

MUSIC ◗ IU Ford-Crawford Hall — Hot Tuesdays Series: Jazz Combo; 8:30pm

MUSIC ◗ IU Musical Arts Center, Recital Hall — Doctoral Recital: Yuan-Yuan Wang on violin; 8:30pm

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ONGOING:

ART ◗ IU Art Museum — Exhibits:

“Paragons of Filial Piety,” by Utagawa Kuniyoshi; through December 31st
“Intimate Models: Photographs of Husbands, Wives, and Lovers,” by Julia Margaret, Cameron, Edward Weston, & Harry Callahan; through December 31st
“French Printmaking in the Seventeenth Century;” through December 31st
Celebration of Cuban Art & Film: Pop-art by Joe Tilson; through December 31st
“Threads of Love: Baby Carriers from China’s Minority Nationalities“; through December 23rd
“Workers of the World, Unite!” through December 31st
“Embracing Nature,” by Barry Gealt; through December 23rd
“Pioneers & Exiles: German Expressionism,” through December 23rd

ART ◗ Ivy Tech Waldron Center — Exhibits through December 1st:

“Essentially Human,” By William Fillmore
“Two Sides to Every Story,” By Barry Barnes
“Horizons in Pencil and Wax,” By Carol Myers

ART ◗ IU SoFA Grunwald Gallery — Exhibits through November 16th:

Buzz Spector: Off the Shelf
Small Is Big

ART ◗ IU Kinsey Institute Gallery — Exhibits through December 20th:

“A Place Aside: Artists and Their Partners“
“Gender Expressions“

ART ◗ IU Mathers Museum of World Cultures — Exhibits:

“¡Cuba Si! Posters from the Revolution: 1960s and 1970s”
“From the Big Bang to the World Wide Web: The Origins of Everything”
“Thoughts, Things, and Theories… What Is Culture?”
“Picturing Archaeology”
“Personal Accents: Accessories from Around the World”
“Blended Harmonies: Music and Religion in Nepal”
“The Day in Its Color: A Hoosier Photographer’s Journey through Mid-century America”
“TOYing with Ideas”
“Living Heritage: Performing Arts of Southeast Asia”
“On a Wing and a Prayer”

BOOKS ◗ IU Lilly Library — Exhibits:

“The War of 1812 in the Collections of the Lilly Library“; through December 15th
“A World of Puzzles,” selections from the Slocum Puzzle Collection

ARTIFACTS ◗ Monroe County History Center — Exhibits:

Doctors & Dentists: A Look into the Monroe County Medical Professions
What Is Your Quilting Story?
Garden Glamour: Floral Fashion Frenzy
Bloomington Then & Now
World War II Uniforms
Limestone Industry in Monroe County

The Ryder & The Electron Pencil. All Bloomington. All the time.

10/29/2012

The Pencil Today:

THE QUOTE

“In the depth of winter I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer.” — Albert Camus

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HAVE YOU VOTED YET?

Why not? Okay, but you only have one week left to do it! Here’s where you can vote today and tomorrow:

The Curry Building, 214 W. Seventh St.; 8am-6pm

IU Assembly Hall, 1001 E. 17th St.; 10am-6pm

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POG PANIC

So, the Republicans are pulling out one last pie to throw in the face of Barack Obama with a week to go before the November election.

According to them, Obama conspired with Muslim extremists to murder four Americans during the attack on this country’s diplomatic compound in Benghazi, Libya a couple of weeks ago. Then Obama covered up his administration’s complicity in the affair.

The whole shebang, says everybody from John McCain to Newt Gingrich, is worse than Watergate.

They Shoot Horses, Don’t They?

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Of course, I’m exaggerating when I say they’re actually accusing Obama of participating in the attack. About as much as they’re exaggerating about it and Watergate.

And, by the way, the GOP has been salivating for a “Democratic Watergate” for some 40 years now. It hasn’t happened yet.

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ANOTHER ENDING

This day comes every year around this time.

Baseball is finished for 2012.

Boo.

Their Joy; My Loss

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The San Francisco Giants completed a sweep of the Detroit Tigers in the World Series last night. I’ve been listening to the games on live stream. Not only do I love baseball, I love radio (even radio on my laptop.) So I get to combine two of my loves at once.

It’s like having a pizza and spaghetti party.

A Kind Of Heaven

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But it’s over.

I wanted the Giants to win. But not just yet. Not now. Not this soon. Couldn’t they have drawn it out for a few more games or, better, a few more weeks? Baseball’s done. So is summer. So is another year.

My boys, the Chicago Cubs, had one of the worst years in their long and storied history. They’re as far from the World Series as they’ve ever been in my lifetime — and that includes a lot of absolutely rotten teams.

But I’m hoping. The new brain trust led by Theo Epstein, Jed Hoyer, and John McLeod has gutted the organization, ridding it of deadwood, ne’er-do-wells, and — for all I know — Satan worshippers. That’s a good start. Now they have to gather real ballplayers.

I don’t believe in god or magic or life after death. But the thing I do believe in makes all those things seem rational. I believe the Cubs will win a World Series while I’m still alive.

Anthony Rizzo Will Lead Us To The Promised Land

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Call me a crackpot.

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FACTS, HAH!

Big Think took on climate change skeptics yesterday.

You know, without Fox News, these people would be babbling on a street corner somewhere. Of course, in a sane world, so would the Fox News people.

Anyway, a couple of weeks ago The Daily Mail of London ran this ludicrous headline:

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Everybody with a functioning cerebrum ignored it. Except, natch, Fox News.

The Party of God’s house organ ran with it big time:

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Turns out that the Daily Mail piece was completely erroneous.

Doesn’t it scare the crap out of you that a huge percentage of this holy land’s population eats up Fox News on a daily basis?

It makes me want to throw my hands in the air and moan, “I give up!”

On the other hand, maybe Fox is coming around. Their screen headline implies that there was global warming, once. That’s better than denying it ever existed, right?

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SO NICE

How about one last blast of summer from Brazil’s Astrud Gilberto?

This song is also known as “Summer Samba.” Light and airy, hopeful and exciting — it’s the perfect metaphor for what I hope every summer will be. They never really turn out that way yet I still dream of those ideal summers in the dark of every winter.

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The only events listings you need in Bloomington.

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Monday, October 29th, 2012

VOTE ◗ Two locations for early voting in Monroe County today and tomorrow:

The Curry Building, 214 W. Seventh St.; 8am-6pm
Indiana University Assembly Hall, South Lobby, 1001 E. 17th St.; 10am-6pm

STUDIO TOUR ◗ Brown County, various locations — The Backroads of Brown County Studio Tour, free, self-guided tour of 16 local artists’ & craftspersons’ studios; 10am-5pm, through October

MUSIC ◗ IU Auer Hall — Master’s Recital: Adam Brown on guitar; 5pm

TOWN HALL MEETING ◗ IU Memorial Union — 6th Annual China Town Hall: Local Connections, National Reflections, Speakers include: Zhao Shaung, Scott Kennedy, Abassador Gary Locke; 6pm

MUSIC ◗ Muddy Boots Cafe, Nashville — Barbara McGuire; 7-9pm

FILM ◗ IU Cinema — “Juan of the Dead“; 7pm

MUSIC ◗ IU Auer Hall — Percussion Ensemble, John Tafoya & Kevin Bobo, directors; 7pm

MUSIC IU Musical Arts Center — MAC Lobby Concerts Series: Jazz Combo; 7:15pm

MUSIC ◗ Max’s Place — Rockin’ Roots: Brownbird Rudy Relic, Los Basttardos Magnificos, Tilford Sellers & the Wagon Burners; 8pm

MUSIC ◗ The Player’s Pub — Songwriter Showcase; 8pm

HALLOWE’EN ◗ IU Department of Folklore & Ethnomusicology, Begin at the Performance & Lecture Hall — Ghost Walk, Tour haunted spots on campus; 8pm

MUSIC IU Musical Arts Center — Jazz Ensemble, Jeremy Allen, director; 8pm

MUSIC IU Musical Arts Center, Recital Hall — Doctoral Recital: Chappell Kingland, composition; 8:30pm

MUSIC ◗ The Bishop — Margot and the Nuclear So & Sos, Gentleman Caller; 9pm

MUSIC ◗ The Bluebird — White Denim; 9pm

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

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ONGOING:

ART ◗ IU Art Museum — Exhibits:

“New Acquisitions,” David Hockney; through October 21st
“Paragons of Filial Piety,” by Utagawa Kuniyoshi; through December 31st
“Intimate Models: Photographs of Husbands, Wives, and Lovers,” by Julia Margaret, Cameron, Edward Weston, & Harry Callahan; through December 31st
“French Printmaking in the Seventeenth Century;” through December 31st
Celebration of Cuban Art & Film: Pop-art by Joe Tilson; through December 31st
“Threads of Love: Baby Carriers from China’s Minority Nationalities“; through December 23rd
“Workers of the World, Unite!” through December 31st
“Embracing Nature,” by Barry Gealt; through December 23rd
“Pioneers & Exiles: German Expressionism,” through December 23rd

ART ◗ Ivy Tech Waldron Center — Exhibits:

“Ab-Fab — Extreme Quilting,” by Sandy Hill; October 5th through October 27th
“Street View — Bloomington Scenes,” by Tom Rhea; October 5th through October 27th
“From the Heartwoods,” by James Alexander Thom; October 5th through October 27th
“The Spaces in Between,” by Ellen Starr Lyon; October 5th through October 27th

ART ◗ IU SoFA Grunwald Gallery — Exhibit:

Buzz Spector: Off the Shelf; through November 16th
Small Is Big; Through November 16th

ART ◗ IU Kinsey Institute Gallery — Exhibits:

“A Place Aside: Artists and Their Partners;” through December 20th
“Gender Expressions;” through December 20th

PHOTOGRAPHY ◗ IU Mathers Museum of World Cultures — Exhibit:

“CUBAmistad” photos

ART ◗ IU Mathers Museum of World Cultures — Exhibits:

“¡Cuba Si! Posters from the Revolution: 1960s and 1970s”
“From the Big Bang to the World Wide Web: The Origins of Everything”
“Thoughts, Things, and Theories… What Is Culture?”
“Picturing Archaeology”
“Personal Accents: Accessories from Around the World”
“Blended Harmonies: Music and Religion in Nepal”
“The Day in Its Color: A Hoosier Photographer’s Journey through Mid-century America”
“TOYing with Ideas”
“Living Heritage: Performing Arts of Southeast Asia”
“On a Wing and a Prayer”

BOOKS ◗ IU Lilly Library — Exhibit:

“Outsiders and Others: Arkham House, Weird Fiction, and the Legacy of HP Lovecraft;” through November 1st
“A World of Puzzles,” selections from the Slocum Puzzle Collection

PHOTOGRAPHY ◗ Soup’s On — Exhibit:

Celebration of Cuban Art & Culture: “CUBAmistad photos; through October

PHOTOGRAPHY ◗ Monroe County History Center — Exhibit:

“Bloomington: Then and Now,” presented by Bloomington Fading; through October 27th

ARTIFACTS ◗ Monroe County History Center — Exhibits:

Doctors & Dentists: A Look into the Monroe County Medical Professions
What Is Your Quilting Story?
Garden Glamour: Floral Fashion Frenzy
Bloomington Then & Now
World War II Uniforms
Limestone Industry in Monroe County

The Ryder & The Electron Pencil. All Bloomington. All the time.

10/25/2012

2 Comments

2016: Obama's America, Battleground State, Breasts, Chicago Cubs, Dinesh D'Souza, Floral Kiss Laptop, Fujitsu Limited, Hedy Lamarr, Jenna Sauers, Jezebel, Joe Ricketts, Laura Ricketts, London Olympics, Mars Curiosity Science Laboratory, NASA, NFL, Tom Ricketts, UFO, Victoria Beckham

The Pencil Today:

■

THE QUOTE

“American men, as a group, seem to be interested in only two things, money and breasts. It seems a very narrow outlook.” — Hedy Lamarr

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THE VOTE

If you’re a Monroe County resident, you can vote today at The Curry Building, 214 W. Seventh St., from 8am-6pm.

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Again we remind you, in order to streamline the electoral process, Republicans are being asked to vote on Wednesday, November 7th. Do your part.

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I’M WARNING YOU, I’M GONNA SCREAM

If I never hear the words “battleground state” again, it’ll be too soon.

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See, I’ve heard those annoying words on the radio or read them online more times than all the following really important terms put together:

Collateralized debt obligations
Credit-default swaps
Glass-Steagall repeal
Deregulation
Ayn Rand-ism
Risky assets
Faulty bond ratings
Debt leveraging
The bubble economy

You know — all those things that got us into this economic shithole in the first place?

As long as we’re too dense to see elections as anything other than entertainment, like horse races or Super Bowls, guys who dream up “creative financial instruments” will continue picking our pockets no matter who takes what battleground state.

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GLANDULAR PROBLEM

As long as we’re on the topic of Things That Annoy Me, have you heard that the NFL this week will have its game officials drop pink penalty flags during a game between the New York Jets and the Miami Dolphins?

So, every time a defensive lineman attempts to bring down a runner by twisting his facemask, thereby severing the poor sap’s spinal cord — in other words, the usual Sunday afternoon fun — the referees, umpires, back judges, line judges, and all other striped constables on the field will toss pink flags rather than their customary yellow ones.

Throw The Pink Flag!

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(And why in god’s holy name do there have to be so many officials — gangs of them — on an NFL field? This is as baffling as why each NFL team has to have upwards of 20 coaches. That’s right, I’m not exaggerating — 20 or more coaches per team. Honestly, I think the NFL is insane. I mean, there are coaches and advisers sprinkled throughout each stadium, photographing plays, drawing up strategies, trying to divine what the opposition might do next, and all of them communicating with each other through electronic systems that make NASA’s Mars Curiosity rover radio set-up look like a couple of tin cans with string attached. Fellas, it’s a game for pity’s sake!)

Anyway, the NFL is going pink for breast cancer, natch. Every other sport has gotten into the pink craze the last few years. Hardly a day goes by when Major League hitters aren’t swinging pink bats or NBA point guards aren’t wearing pink ribbon patches on their uniforms.

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Look, I’m a guy and I don’t have breasts to worry about, but, come on, is breast cancer the only disease left on the planet? And don’t hit me with the men-can-get-breast-cancer-too line. The odds of a UFO appearing over the stadium at London’s Olympics opening ceremony, according to one betting house, were precisely the same as those for a man suffering breast cancer — 1000 to one.

So, yeah, I’m not losing sleep over breast cancer messing up my life. I would assume most women are. And everybody’s been spending the last few years jumping on the breast cancer bandwagon.

The question has to be asked: Why breasts? Lung cancer is far more deadly for women in the US than breast cancer is, yet you don’t see NBA players bouncing basketballs painted up to look like spongy, alveoli-packed bellows, do you?

My take is breast cancer in women is the only thing that scares the poo out of American men because we have a breast fixation. If a woman loses her uterus to cancer, we shrug. But if she loses a breast, we’re aghast. Our puerile, tit-fetishy culture sees women pretty much as annoyances with big things on their chests we want to get our hands on.

In fact, we’re so obsessed with women’s racks that we go gaga over gals who’ve had bags of silicon surgically implanted under their thoracic skin.

Victoria Beckham’s Plastic

■

Reminds me of the time I had a drunken discussion at adjoining urinals at Chicago’s Club Lago with a guy I knew. He was raving about his new girlfriend. “Aw, Big Mike, she’s fantastic,” he gushed. “She’s got blond hair. She’s built, man! She’s got a good gig. She wants sex all the time.”

The guy zipped up and bestowed upon me the piece de resistance, the cherry on the sundae, the Number One in his Top Ten List of why his new girlfriend was the bomb. “And Big Mike, this is the truth,” he said, grinning, “she’s got fake tits!”

I swear I think he wanted me to carry him out of the men’s room on my shoulders.

As I said, I’m a guy, so I know this: We’re breast nutty.

The NFL, the NBA, the NHL, and Major League Baseball are virtually boys-only clubs. They want to show women that they care about them, considering females do buy tickets to games, but the idea of worrying about ovarian cancer or heart attack leaves them cold. But god forbid our little ladies should lose one or both of their tatas!

■

Then what would they be? The prospect is simply too chilling for most men to contemplate.

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GIRLISH POWER

And speaking of condescending to our holy land’s little gals, Fujitsu has introduced a spanking new laptop just for them.

It’s called the Floral Kiss, which sounds like a pretty cool new sex technique, but is actually a trademark for a new PC designed for humans who possess vaginas. The Floral Kiss comes in your choice of colors: Elegant White, Feminine Pink, and Luxury Brown. Your smart new laptop also comes with gold trim. Whee!

Ooh! What Happens If I Press This Little Thing-y?

■

By “smart” I mean, of course, fashionable and trendy, not, y’know, having anything to do with you actually having to use your silly brain. So don’t worry your pretty little head off.

Jenna Sauers of Jezebel writes: “Maybe if you’re very good, you could ask your husband to buy you one for Christmas!”

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WHY, WHY, WHY?

It’s getting harder by the moment to be a Cubs fan.

The daddy-o of the clan that bought the team a couple of years ago for $845MM is the bankroll behind Dinesh D’Souza‘s “documentary” slopfest entitled “2016: Obama’s America.”

Joe Ricketts: Billionaire Blowhard

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In the film, D’Souza posits that the President of the United States actually hates America. Don’t ask me to explain; the “thought processes” of D’Souza and his flock are beyond normal human comprehension.

Anyway, why does the man who set his kids up as billionaires so they could buy my fave baseball team have to be the one who finances this gunk? (Happily, two of the Ricketts kids — Cubs chairman Tom and Board Member Laura — have disavowed Dad’s right wing stances.)

Isn’t it bad enough that the Cubs have not appeared in a World Series since 1945 and haven’t won one since 1908? Now I have to root for them despite the fact that the owners’ papa is a wingnut?

All This And D’Souza, Too?

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Believe me, if my boys ever win the Series in my lifetime, I’ll celebrate as never before, then I’ll wash my hands of them.

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The only events listings you need in Bloomington.

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Thursday, October 25th, 2012

VOTE TODAY ◗The Curry Building, 214 W. Seventh St.; 8am-6pm

POETRY & BOOKS ◗ Various locations around IU campus & Bloomington — Sylvia Plath Symposium 2012, celebrating 50 years since the publication of her “Ariel” collection, Through Saturday, Today’s highlights at IU Memorial Union, Whittenberger Auditorium:

Lynda K. Bundtzen speaks about Plath’s psychotherapy, & use of unconscious in her 1958 poems, Langdon hammer speaks about James Merril’s use of the Ouija® board for inspiration; 9:30-10:20am
Linda Adele Goodine & Suzie Hanna sepak about juvenile/adult fantasy & the liminal space between waking & dreaming; 10:30-11:20am
Jeanne Marie Beaumont, Annie Finch, Kathleen Ossip, & David Trinidad speak about PLath’s influence on the poetic process; 1-2:20pm
Bill Buckley & Peter K. Steinberg speak about Plath’s influence on scholars, students, & artists; 2:30-2:50pm
Linda Gates speaks about Plath’s relationships with A. Alvarez, Ted Hughes, & Assia Wevill; 3-3:20pm
Diann Blakely, Bill Buckley, Peter Cooley, Kimberly Maxwell, & Jennifer Thompson on being inspired, influenced, & healed by Plath; 3:30-5:30pm

POETRY ◗ Rachael’s Cafe — B-Town Poets, Open mic reading; 5-7pm

PANEL DISCUSSION ◗ IU Memorial Union, Walnut Room — “Human Trafficking & Media,” Penelists include Yana Hashamova of Ohio State University, Jon Daggy of Indianapolis Metropolitan Police, & Lesley Yarranton, London-based journalist; 5:20pm

BENEFIT ◗ Upland Brewing Company — 5th Annual Local Growers Guild Harvest Dinner; 6pm

LECTURE ◗ IU Neal-Marshall Black Culture Center — “Sex, Germs, & Worms: Infectious Disease in Primate Societies,” Presented by Charlie Nunn of Harvard University; 6pm

MUSIC ◗ Malibu Grill — Steve Johnson Trio; 6-9pm

BENEFIT ◗ The Fields Clubhouse, Clarizz & Moores Pike — Harvest Gathering, Dinner & silent auction, For Community Justice & Mediation Center, Featured speaker Jody Lynee Madiera of Maurer School of Law discusses her book, “Killing McVeigh: The Death Penalty & the Myth of Closure“; 6-9pm

FILM ◗ IU Cinema — “Blood of Jesus“; 7pm

MUSIC ◗ Max’s Place — Grandview Junction; 7pm

MUSIC ◗ Muddy Boots Cafe, Nashville — Zion Crossroads; 7-9pm

STAGE ◗ IU Wells-Metz Theatre — “Richard III“; 7:30pm

LECTURE — IU Maurer School of Law, Moot Court Room — Patten Lecture Series: “Why Pictures of People About to Die Depict News Events Involving Death,” Presented by Barbie Zelizer; 7:30pm

MUSIC ◗ The Player’s Pub — Open mic hosted by Martina Samm; 7:30pm

COMEDY ◗ The Comedy Attic — Michael Winslow; 8pm

MUSIC ◗ IU Auer Hall — New Music Ensemble, David Dzubay, director, & Joseph Schwantner, guest composer; 8pm

MUSIC & BENEFIT ◗ Rachael’s Cafe — Live music, Presented by WIUX PledgeFest; 8pm

FILM ◗ IU Memorial Union, Whittenberger Auditorium — UB Films: “The Campaign“; 8pm

MUSIC ◗ The Bluebird — Keller Williams; 9pm

MUSIC ◗ The Bishop — The Broderick Album Release Show, The Kernal, Fluffer; 9:30pm

FILM ◗ IU Memorial Union, Whittenberger Auditorium — UB Films: “The Campaign“; 11pm

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ONGOING:

ART ◗ IU Art Museum — Exhibits:

“New Acquisitions,” David Hockney; through October 21st
“Paragons of Filial Piety,” by Utagawa Kuniyoshi; through December 31st
“Intimate Models: Photographs of Husbands, Wives, and Lovers,” by Julia Margaret, Cameron, Edward Weston, & Harry Callahan; through December 31st
“French Printmaking in the Seventeenth Century;” through December 31st
Celebration of Cuban Art & Film: Pop-art by Joe Tilson; through December 31st
“Threads of Love: Baby Carriers from China’s Minority Nationalities“; through December 23rd
“Workers of the World, Unite!” through December 31st
“Embracing Nature,” by Barry Gealt; through December 23rd
“Pioneers & Exiles: German Expressionism,” through December 23rd

ART ◗ Ivy Tech Waldron Center — Exhibits:

“Ab-Fab — Extreme Quilting,” by Sandy Hill; October 5th through October 27th
“Street View — Bloomington Scenes,” by Tom Rhea; October 5th through October 27th
“From the Heartwoods,” by James Alexander Thom; October 5th through October 27th
“The Spaces in Between,” by Ellen Starr Lyon; October 5th through October 27th

ART ◗ IU SoFA Grunwald Gallery — Exhibit:

Buzz Spector: Off the Shelf; through November 16th
Small Is Big; Through November 16th

ART ◗ IU Kinsey Institute Gallery — Exhibits:

“A Place Aside: Artists and Their Partners;” through December 20th
“Gender Expressions;” through December 20th

PHOTOGRAPHY ◗ IU Mathers Museum of World Cultures — Exhibit:

“CUBAmistad” photos

ART ◗ IU Mathers Museum of World Cultures — Exhibits:

“¡Cuba Si! Posters from the Revolution: 1960s and 1970s”
“From the Big Bang to the World Wide Web: The Origins of Everything”
“Thoughts, Things, and Theories… What Is Culture?”
“Picturing Archaeology”
“Personal Accents: Accessories from Around the World”
“Blended Harmonies: Music and Religion in Nepal”
“The Day in Its Color: A Hoosier Photographer’s Journey through Mid-century America”
“TOYing with Ideas”
“Living Heritage: Performing Arts of Southeast Asia”
“On a Wing and a Prayer”

BOOKS ◗ IU Lilly Library — Exhibit:

“Outsiders and Others: Arkham House, Weird Fiction, and the Legacy of HP Lovecraft;” through November 1st
“A World of Puzzles,” selections from the Slocum Puzzle Collection

PHOTOGRAPHY ◗ Soup’s On — Exhibit:

Celebration of Cuban Art & Culture: “CUBAmistad photos; through October

PHOTOGRAPHY ◗ Monroe County History Center — Exhibit:

“Bloomington: Then and Now,” presented by Bloomington Fading; through October 27th

ARTIFACTS ◗ Monroe County History Center — Exhibits:

Doctors & Dentists: A Look into the Monroe County Medical Professions
What Is Your Quilting Story?
Garden Glamour: Floral Fashion Frenzy
Bloomington Then & Now
World War II Uniforms
Limestone Industry in Monroe County

The Ryder & The Electron Pencil. All Bloomington. All the time.

10/07/2012

1 Comment

Chicago Cubs

The Pencil Today:

✍

THE QUOTE

“At the touch of love everyone becomes a poet.” — Plato

▲

STILL CRYING

Exactly 28 years ago today, my heart was broken. October 7th, 1984 was a Sunday as well, a rainy, chilly day. The events that occurred between the hours of 3 and 4 o’clock pm, Central Daylight Time, only intensified the gloom.

Look closely at the photo below. It’s grainy and blurry and clearly it’s a snapshot of the image on a TV screen. It’s the result of 1984 technology, which isn’t saying much compared to today’s.

That’s A Baseball Behind Him

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The man in the shot is named Leon Durham. He was the first baseman for the Chicago Cubs. His team was playing the San Diego Padres in Jack Murphy Stadium in the National League Championship Series. The winner of that day’s game would go on to face the mighty Detroit Tigers in the World Series.

Any real Cubs fan can recognize poetry even in the most banal of circumstances. But that day it was surely poetic that the Cubs were on the verge of meeting the Tigers in the World Series because the last time Chicago’s National League ball club had been to the Series, 39 long years before, it had faced Detroit’s American League ball club.

For that matter, the Cubs shouldn’t even have been playing that Sunday. They’d left Chicago just four days earlier with a two games to nothing lead on the Padres in the best of five NLCS. All they had to do was win a single game in San Diego.

They didn’t win on Friday night. I’d carried a bottle of Champagne on the el as I headed for my brother’s apartment in Lincoln Park. We’d surely toast the happiest moment in our lives later that night. Only the Padres battered Cubs starting pitcher Dennis Eckersley.

So I did the same thing the next night — lugged my bottle of Champagne on the el to Joey’s place. But the Padres beat the Cubs in the bottom of the ninth on a dramatic home run by, ugh, Steve Garvey. I can still see him rounding first after hitting his walk-off home run, holding pumping his fist, the brute.

Garvey, Arm Still Upraised, Being Carried Off The Field

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I still had that bottle of Champagne with me on the el on Sunday afternoon, the seventh. But I wasn’t headed to Joey’s place. Neither of us had come out and said it, but we didn’t want to be around each other if the Cubs couldn’t win that day.

I went to Wrigley Field where first a select few, then dozens, and finally hundreds of fans converged to celebrate a hoped-for, begged-for, prayed-for win some 1700 miles away. The Cubs had brought in their ushers to protect the ballpark. The city had sent police officers on horses to control the hopefully giddy crowd. The streets around the park were closed off.

Some of my left field bleacher pals and I were friendly with the bleacher gate ushers. That means we’d slipped them money on a regular basis to let us in when the bleachers were sold out, or had bought them lunch or beers in anticipation of some future favors.

The ushers had set up a little black and white TV in the bleachers box office and pointed it out toward the corner of Waveland and Sheffield avenues. Then they made sure that we, their pals, got front row center seats.

The Cubs led that ultimate game 3-0 as late as the bottom of the sixth. But the Padres cut into the lead that inning with two runs. Then, the seventh inning. On the seventh day. And the seventh of October. Poetry?

With a man on second, some heretofore anonymous young man who pretended to play infield competently for the Padres hit an easy ground ball right at Leon Durham.

Durham had a sure glove that year. We knew he’d gobble the roller up and easily retire the anonymous young man. But…, but…, but….

Oh, you know as well as I do that the Cubs haven’t been in the World Series for a total of 67 years now.

That Champagne? We drank it anyway. We needed some sort of medication.

▲

The only events listings you need in Bloomington.

✍

Sunday, October 7th, 2012

Brought to you by The Electron Pencil: Bloomington Arts, Culture, Politics, and Hot Air. Daily.

WORKSHOP ◗ Dagom Gaden Tensung Ling Monastery — Introductory course on Buddhism; 6th of eleven weekly session; 10-11am

MUSIC ◗ IU Musical Arts Center, Recital Hall — Student Orchestral Recital: Xuan Li on piano, Caleb Winslow Young, director; 1pm

HALLOWE’EN ◗ Haunted Hayride & Stables, 8308 S. Rockport Rd. — Friendly hayride, No spooks; 1-5pm

VOLUNTEER ◗ Lake Monroe, Cutright SRA — Autumn Olive Take Down, help remove invasive Autumn Olive trees; 1:30-4pm

MUSIC ◗ IU Auer Hall — Brass Choir, Edmund Cord, director; 2pm

STAGE ◗ Brown County Playhouse, Nashville — Drama, “Last Train to Nibroc”; 2pm

FESTIVAL ◗ Town of Bloomfield, downtown — 2012 Bloomfield Apple Festival parade; 2pm

BOOKS ◗ Monroe County Public Library — Discussion of “Buddha in the Attic,” by Julie Otsuka; 2pm

ART ◗ IU Art Museum — Meet the Collector: Yawan Yu, collector of Chinese minority textiles in the museum’s “Threads of Love” exhibit; 2-3pm

MUSIC ◗ St. Thomas Lutheran Church — Bloomington Bach Cantata Project, James Andrewes, director; 2:30pm

MUSIC ◗ Muddy Boots Cafe, Nashville — Barbara McGuire; 5-7pm

MUSIC ◗ The Player’s Pub — Tom Rosznowski; 6pm

FILM ◗ Bear’s Place — Ryder Film Series: “Stars in Shorts“; 7pm

LECTURE ◗ IU SoFA, Room 102 — “Moral Machines,” on guidelines for robotics, presented by Colin Allen, free; 7pm

MUSIC ◗ Rachael’s Cafe — Crosstown Collision, Stop.Drop.Rewind, The DRive-By Insults; 7:30pm

MUSIC ◗ IU Musical Arts Center — Concert Orchestra, Arthur Fagen, director, performing Claude Baker & Tchaikovsky; 8pm

MUSIC ◗ IU Auer Hall — Doctoral Recital: Yoon-Wha Roh, piano; 8pm

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ONGOING:

ART ◗ IU Art Museum — Exhibits:

“New Acquisitions,” David Hockney; through October 21st
Paintings by Contemporary Native American Artists; through October 14th
“Paragons of Filial Piety,” by Utagawa Kuniyoshi; through December 31st
“Intimate Models: Photographs of Husbands, Wives, and Lovers,” by Julia Margaret, Cameron, Edward Weston, & Harry Callahan; through December 31st
“French Printmaking in the Seventeenth Century;” through December 31st
Celebration of Cuban Art & Film: Pop-art by Joe Tilson; through December 31st
“Workers of the World, Unite!” through December 31st
“Embracing Nature,” by Barry Gealt; through December 23rd
“Pioneers & Exiles: German Expressionism,” through December 23rd

ART ◗ Ivy Tech Waldron Center — Exhibits:

“Ab-Fab — Extreme Quilting,” by Sandy Hill; October 5th through October 27th
“Street View — Bloomington Scenes,” by Tom Rhea; October 5th through October 27th
“From the Heartwoods,” by James Alexander Thom; October 5th through October 27th
“The Spaces in Between,” by Ellen Starr Lyon; October 5th through October 27th

ART ◗ IU SoFA Grunwald Gallery — Exhibit:

“Samenwerken,” Interdisciplinary collaborative multi-media works; through October 11th

ART ◗ IU Kinsey Institute Gallery — Exhibits opening September 28th:

“A Place Aside: Artists and Their Partners;” through December 20th
“Gender Expressions;” through December 20th

PHOTOGRAPHY ◗ IU Mathers Museum of World Cultures — Exhibit:

“CUBAmistad” photos

ART ◗ IU Mathers Museum of World Cultures — Exhibits:

“¡Cuba Si! Posters from the Revolution: 1960s and 1970s”
“From the Big Bang to the World Wide Web: The Origins of Everything”
“Thoughts, Things, and Theories… What Is Culture?”
“Picturing Archaeology”
“Personal Accents: Accessories from Around the World”
“Blended Harmonies: Music and Religion in Nepal”
“The Day in Its Color: A Hoosier Photographer’s Journey through Mid-century America”
“TOYing with Ideas”
“Living Heritage: Performing Arts of Southeast Asia”
“On a Wing and a Prayer”

BOOKS ◗ IU Lilly Library — Exhibit:

“Outsiders and Others:Arkham House, Weird Fiction, and the Legacy of HP Lovecraft;” through November 1st
“A World of Puzzles,” selections form the Slocum Puzzle Collection

PHOTOGRAPHY ◗ Soup’s On — Exhibit:

Celebration of Cuban Art & Culture: “CUBAmistad photos; through October

PHOTOGRAPHY ◗ Monroe County History Center — Exhibit:

“Bloomington: Then and Now,” presented by Bloomington Fading; through October 27th

ARTIFACTS ◗ Monroe County History Center — Exhibit:

“Doctors and Dentists: A Look into the Monroe County Medical professions“

▼

The Electron Pencil. Go there. Read. Like. Share.

09/15/2012

The Pencil Today:

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THE QUOTE

“I never let my schooling get in the way of my education.” — Mark Twain

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PAY ‘EM: DAY 6

So, Chicago Teachers Union reps vote on the new CBA tomorrow. And now the post-mortems begin.

For instance, a New York University professor of education came up with all the answers in a CNN Op-Ed piece last night.

Now that the strike is over, the professor writes, the Chicago public schools need to be fixed.

This Just In: Fix It

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Come to this space tomorrow for a statement by medical researchers that human beings must breathe clean air.

Anyway, Professor Pedro Noguera, of the NYU school of education, cites an “exhaustive study of many of the reforms carried out during the Duncan years” (current Secretary of Education Arne Duncan was the longtime head of the CPS). The study, Noguera tells us, discovered that schools can be made better with a combination of “effective leadership, parent-community ties, professional capacity, and a student-centered learning environment.”

Professor Noguera

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That’s like saying the secret for the Chicago Cubs to become a good baseball team is to get players who hit, field, and pitch better.

And look at the last two items on the study’s recommendation list. You know what “professional capacity” means? In plain English it’s good teachers. That “student-centered learning environment”? Translation: the focus of the school system should be teaching kids.

I’m glad Professor Noguera does not teach English.

That titan of good newspaper writing and personal deity of mine, Mike Royko, once penned a column for the Chicago Daily News about something he christened Educatorese.

“Until now,” Royko wrote, “only professional educators knew how to speak educatorese, that mysterious language with which they befuddle the rest of us.”

Mike Royko

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As usual, Royko was being snide. The fact is, though, in-groups of people have been utilizing terminologies and languages that the common clay can’t understand as a way elevate themselves to priestly status since humankind began scheduling meetings.

Zoologist and human sociobiologist Desmond Morris once pointed out that lawyers and doctors and scientists long ago retained Latin as their linguae francae because it was important to keep their professional secrets from, ugh, people.

✍

Morris also mentioned how the royal houses of Russia and Poland insisted on carrying on their business in French rather than their respective national languages because, again, they didn’t want their populaces to stick their snotty noses into affairs of state.

And keep in mind that for most of the last 500 years, the Roman Catholic Church insisted its members not read the Bible since only its priests could be trusted to understand it.

Throughout human history words have divided as much as they’ve united.

One of the most baffling words imaginable is pedagogy, a fave term of educators. They speak earnestly of pedagogical outcomes, pedagogical methodologies, and, simply, the process of pedagogy.

Pedagogy means teaching.

Teachers teach.

Pedagogues obfuscate.

Royko laid out a list of terms average citizens should learn so that they could “speak like an educator without being educated.”

Pedagogical Legend, Professor Irwin Corey

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Here are some of the terms Royko brought to light:

Interdisciplinary
Intrapersonal
Ontological
Attitudinal
Multicultural
Cognate
Conformance
Introversion
Gestalt
Verbalize
Facilitate
Synthesize
Individualize
Total modular exchange
Vertical team structure
Individual horizons

Some of these terms make pedagogy sound as straightforward as the word is. They all come from a careful reading of school memos, education studies, and textbooks done by actual teachers — or, more properly, pedogogic outcome facilitators.

Things haven’t changed much in the 40 years since Royko brought Educatorese to the public eye.

Students still drop out of high school in this holy land at an unconscionable rate. Many big city school systems are still viewed as boondoggles.

And pedagogical savants still run our school systems.

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SCHOOL DAYS

Probably the coolest girl band ever, the Runaways.

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08/19/2012

The Pencil Today:

✍

THE QUOTE

“I look at an ant and I see myself: a native South African, endowed by nature with a strength much greater than my size so I might cope with the weight of a racism that crushes my spirit.” — Miriam Makeba

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THE COLOR OF FEAR

NPR’s Linda Wertheimer this morning on Weekend Edition Sunday pointed out that this year’s presidential election will be the first in our history in which no one on the major parties’ tickets is a WASP.

Perhaps that explains why so many people are freaked out — still — about Barack Obama.

See? See? That’s The Nazi Salute!

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The world that every American once knew and too many are terrified to leave, is gone.

And speaking of terrifying, yet another music star has blown verbal chunks about the Prez. Hank Williams, Jr., who last year compared Barack Obama to Hitler (natch, they were both half-black men who studied at Harvard Law), now ups the ante. Yesterday, the man who once asked Are you ready for some football?, declared the President of the United States to be a Muslim who not only hates the military but the rest of the nation, for good measure.

Proof!

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Williams, Jr. sings something called “Take Back Our Country.” He needn’t add, …From all those scary brown people.

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LET’S GO TO INDIANA!

Lauren Spierer’s disappearance last year raised a puzzler.

Why do so many Indiana University students come from suburban New York City?

IU’s Prep School Attendance Boundaries

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With a record 7590 freshmen expected to attend IU this semester, many of them will come from the tri-state area including New York, New Jersey, and Connecticut. The Spierer family hails from Edgemont, north of the big city.

Edgemont is a part of the town of Greenville in Westchester County, a tony enclave that through the years has been home to the likes of Linda McCartney, Bugsy Seigel, Walter Winchell, and Billy Collins, the former US poet laureate.

It’s funny how certain campuses become desirable destinations for specific matriculate populations. For instance, it was well-known in my old Chicago area that the University of Wisconsin in Madison drew a disproportionate number of northwest suburban Jewish kids.

I suppose the Madison thing makes sense because it falls into that Goldilocks zone for college students: far enough away from mom and dad to not worry that they can drop in at a moment’s notice but near enough to dash back home for a laundry run and a good warm meal, PRN.

Bloomington, Indiana seems an odd choice for Eastern Seaboard kids and their megalopolis classmates who might want to run back home in a six-hour or less drive.

Any ideas?

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GLEE

Indulge me for a moment. Today is the 43rd anniversary of the most exciting moment I’ve ever experienced as a rabid Chicago Cubs fan.

On the afternoon of Tuesday, August 19th, 1969, my fave Cubs pitcher, Kenny Holtzman, tossed a no-hitter against the mighty Atlanta Braves.

Bliss

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The Braves that afternoon were led by one Henry Louis Aaron, who’d go on to become baseball’s all-time home run king.

The sun was bright, a pleasant lake wind blew in from the northeast, and the Cubs were in first place, on their way to their first World Series since World War II and — fingers crossed — their first championship since the Peloponnesian War.

In a summer during which two human beings had stepped on the moon and nearly half a million people jammed Max Yasgur’s farm just to be able to brag to their grandchildren that they’d attended Woodstock, the Cubs racing for a World Series was the most jaw-dropping miracle yet.

And the high point of the season was Kenny’s gem.

Basking In The Glory

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I watched that game from a bleacher seat under the centerfield scoreboard at Wrigley Field.

I was 13 years old.

Even now, nearly half a century later, I still believe had I died that afternoon, I’d have gone happy.

Have pity on this aching soul: don’t ask me to recount the ensuing weeks. Nor, for that matter, the ensuing decades.

▲

Here’s how I waste my time. How about you? Share your fave sites with us via the comments section. Just type in the name of the site, not the url; we’ll find them. If we like them, we’ll include them — if not, we’ll ignore them.

❏ I Love Charts — Life as seen through charts.

❏ XKCD — “A webcomic of romance, sarcasm, math, and language.”

❏ Skepchick — Women scientists look at the world and the universe.

❏ Indexed — All the answers in graph form, on index cards.

❏ I Fucking Love Science — A Facebook community of science geeks.

❏ Present & Correct — Fun, compelling, gorgeous and/or scary graphic designs and visual creations throughout the years and from all over the world.

Click Image For Full Article:

Present/&/Correct: 44 Old Typewriter Instruction Manuals

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❏ Flip Flop Fly Ball — Baseball as seen through infographics, haikus, song lyrics, and other odd communications devices.

❏ Mental Floss — Facts.

❏ The Universe — A Facebook community of astrophysics and astronomy geeks.

❏ Sodaplay — Create your own models or play with other people’s models.

❏ Eat Sleep Draw — An endless stream of artwork submitted by an endless stream of people.

Eat Sleep Draw: Illustration by Rachel Sanson

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❏ Big Think — Tapping the brains of notable intellectuals for their opinions, predictions, and diagnoses.

❏ The Daily Puppy — So shoot me.

▲

Electron Pencil event listings: Music, art, movies, lectures, parties, receptions, games, benefits, plays, meetings, fairs, conspiracies, rituals, etc.

Sunday, August 19, 2012

◗ Oliver Winery — Creekbend Vineyard tour; Noon-2pm

◗ Monroe County Public Library — Basic Literacy Tutor Training, session 2 of 4; 1:30-5pm

◗ IU Wells-Metz Theatre — Drama, “Solana”; 2pm

◗ IU Bill Armstrong Stadium — Hoosier women’s soccer vs. Ohio; 2pm

◗ Bryan Park — Outdoor concert: O2R Blues Band; 6:30pm

◗ Bear’s Place — Ryder Film Series: “The Well Digger’s Daughter”; 7pm

◗ IU Cinema — Film: “Beasts of the Southern Wild”; 7pm

◗ The Bluebird — BoDeans; 8pm

◗ The Bishop — Jamaican Queens, Fly Painted Feathers; 9pm

ONGOING:

◗ Ivy Tech Waldron Center — Exhibits:

“40 Years of Artists from Pygmalion’s”; through September 1st

◗ IU Art Museum — Exhibits:

“A Tribute to William Zimmerman,” wildlife artist; through September 9th
Willi Baumeister, “Baumeister in Print”; through September 9th
Annibale and Agostino Carracci, “The Bolognese School”; through September 16th
“Contemporary Explorations: Paintings by Contemporary Native American Artists”; through October 14th
David Hockney, “New Acquisitions”; through October 21st
Utagawa Kuniyoshi, “Paragons of Filial Piety”; through fall semester 2012
Julia Margaret Cameron, Edward Weston, & Harry Callahan, “Intimate Models: Photographs of Husbands, Wives, and Lovers”; through December 31st
“French Printmaking in the Seventeenth Century”; through December 31st

◗ IU SoFA Grunwald Gallery — Exhibits:

Coming — Media Life; August 24th through September 15th
Coming — Axe of Vengeance: Ghanaian Film Posters and Film Viewing Culture; August 24th through September 15th

◗ IU Kinsey Institute Gallery — “Ephemeral Ink: Selections of Tattoo Art from the Kinsey Institute Collection”; through September 21st

◗ IU Lilly Library — Exhibit, “Translating the Canon: Building Special Collections in the 21st Century”; through September 1st

◗ IU Mathers Museum of World Cultures — Closed for semester break, reopens Tuesday, August 21st

◗ Monroe County History Center — Photo exhibit, “Bloomington: Then and Now” by Bloomington Fading; through October 27th

▲

07/20/2012

1 Comment

Apollo 11, Buzz Aldrin, Chappaquiddick, Chicago Cubs, Denialism, Denver Theater Shooting, Drought, Elmo Taylor, Fairness Doctrine, Global Warming, Global Weirding, God Guns & Gays, Guns, James Inhofe, Joy Shayne Laughter, Manson Family, Martin Amis, McCormick's Creek State Park, Mike Pence, Muddy Boots Cafe, Neil Armstrong, Soma Coffee, Ted Kennedy, The Greatest Hoax, Tribune Tower, Tulsa World, Tyler Ferguson, Woodstock

The Pencil Today:

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THE QUOTE

“Bullets cannot be recalled. They cannot be uninvented. But they can be taken out of the gun.” — Martin Amis

♢

AMERICA, I TOLD YOU BUT YOU WOULDN’T LISTEN

Two things about the mass shooting outside Denver early this morning:

I demand that reporters and announcers cease and desist obsessively referring to the opening of the new Batman movie. It’s as though they’re already writing the dramatic narrative for the shooting: To wit, it’s a movie dealing with darkness and evil and, poetically, a dark and evil event followed. No. It was an atrocity and it doesn’t need poetic spin
I’ve said this too many times already: America, stick your guns up your ass.

It Happened At The Movies

♢

DON’T CONFUSE ME WITH THE FACTS

So, farmers in Indiana and much of the rest of the Midwest will lose their crops this summer, thanks to the drought and the unusually high temperatures.

Experts say drought conditions are exacerbated by higher temps which cause faster evaporation.

Experts also say human activity is causing global warming and global weirding.

Goddammit, how many times do the sane among us have to say this?

We sell Oklahoma Sen. James Inhofe‘s book, “The Greatest Hoax: How the Global Warming Conspiracy Threatens Your Future,” at the Book Corner. For the longest time it was on the New York Times non-fiction bestseller list (which is ironic considering the book’s premise).

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Inhofe has been verbally vomiting on this topic for more than a decade now.

Back in 2006 in an interview in the Tulsa World newspaper, Inhofe had this to say about global warming:

“It kind of reminds… I could use the Third Reich, the big lie. You say something over and over and over and over again, and people will believe it, and that’s their strategy.”

Whoever “they” are is never revealed. Make no mistake, though, it’s a conspiracy. Neither does Inhofe explain why any group of misguided souls might want to conjure up such a hoax.

The Environmental Protection Agency, according to Inhofe, is just another Gestapo. He often cites biblical passages to back up his “arguments” against global warming

Inhofe’s stance on the “hoax” has changed only slightly over the years. What he now characterizes as the greatest hoax he only ranked number two in his early years in the Senate. The biggest hoax at that time, he felt, was the idea that the framers of the US Constitution were in favor of a separation of church and state

Inhofe’s slogan when he first ran for the Senate in 1994 was “God, guns, and gays” — as in, they were the three most important topics on which he’d concentrate.

From God’s Lips To The Senator’s Ear

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In short, the man is a dick.

Want more evidence? Try this, something he spewed during a debate on gay marriage:

“I’m really proud to say that in the recorded history of our family, we’ve never had a divorce or any kind of homosexual relationship.”

Anyway, there isn’t much the average citizen who can read and write can do about tailless monkeys like Inhofe. But I’ve found one thing: I always make sure his book is hidden behind a bunch of other books.

Every little bit helps.

Oh, another thing we can do is vote. For instance, Indiana gubernatorial candidate Mike Pence often appeared with Inhofe on right wing radio and TV shows. The two also worked on joint legislation including quashing the Fairness Doctrine in broadcasting.

♢

TRANQUILITY BASE

The majority of human beings on this planet were not alive when Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin gamboled on the moon back in the summer of 1969.

The Lunar Excursion Module “Eagle” landed on the surface of the moon 43 years ago today, at 2:18pm our time. Some six and a half hours later, first Armstrong, then Aldrin bounded down the LEM’s ladder to leave their footprints on extraterrestrial dirt.

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I was 13 at the time. I was also transfixed. Swear to god, I stared at the moon that Sunday evening, hoping against hope that I could see something like the LEM’s rocket engine firing.

That first moon landing remains one of the defining moments of my life. It happened during the summer of Woodstock, Kennedy at Chappaquiddick, the Manson Family, and the Cubs surely on their way to their first World Series appearance in my short lifetime. I considered all of them part of a package. Peace, love, politics, music, hippies, horror, unbridled joy, crazy hope, and crushing disappointment.

Unbridled Joy

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I once assumed that everyone — even those born after ’69 — considered the moon landing something, well transcendent.

Many don’t.

I was walking down Michigan Avenue with my brothers and his three sons one Sunday afternoon ten or so years ago. We approached the Tribune Tower which is famous for having bricks, stones and other chunks of famous buildings embedded in its walls. There are pieces of the Alamo, the Berlin Wall, Westminster Palace, the Great Wall of China, the Great Pyramid at Cheops, the Parthenon and many, many others.

There also is a moon rock on display. It’s not embedded in the wall, of course, considering it may be the most expensive hunk of stone in existence. It’s behind a several-inch thick slab of bullet-proof glass next to the main entrance of the Tower.

I’d passed it dozens or even hundreds of times in my life and never had neglected to stop and look at it. There is a hunk of the moon, I’d think as I gawked. Holy fk!

Moonrock Encased In Lucite At The Tribune Tower

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So, as the five of us came off the Michigan Avenue bridge I said to the boys, “I wanna show you something so cool you won’t believe it.” Ranging in age from their early to late teens, they seemed skeptical. Only the appearance, say, of Batman himself or the spectacle of a man leaping from the top of the Tower to his certain death was likely to impress them.

Still, I believed this piece of a celestial body 238,000 distant would give them goosebumps.

It didn’t. I may as well have pointed out a common house brick. The only one of my nephews who was moved to even comment on the rock said, “So what?”

I was crushed.

BTW: Author Joy Shayne Laughter quoted this morning from some anonymous philosopher (neither of us could remember who said it), “We went to the moon on 126K of RAM. Now, it takes six megabytes to open a Word doc.”

♢

ELMO TAYLOR

Pay no attention to the Muddy Boots Cafe calendar listing that has the band Elmo Taylor playing there Sunday night.

I was all set to plug the appearance here when Tyler Ferguson, rhythm guitarist for the band, came into Soma Coffee and plopped down next to me.

“So,” I said, “Sunday night at Muddy Boots, eh?”

Elmo Taylor

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“What the hell are you talking about?” she snapped. Today seems to be a chocolate day for the usually ebullient Ferg.

It turns out Elmo is not playing at Muddy Boots this weekend. ET junkies take heart: the band is playing at McCormick’s Creek State Park amphitheater at 7:30, Saturday night.

♢

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Electron Pencil event listings: Music, art, movies, lectures, parties, receptions, games, benefits, plays, meetings, fairs, conspiracies, rituals, etc.

◗ Ivy Tech, Bloomington Campus — Breakfast Learning Seriea: Depression, Suicide, and Our Aging Population”; 8am

◗ IU Dowling Center — English Conversation Club, for non-native speakers of American English; 1pm

◗ The Venue Fine Arts & Gifts — Opening reception, “Abstracts on Canvas,” by Rick McCoy; 6pm

◗ IU Art Museum — Jazz in July, Monika Herzig Acoustic Project; 6:30pm

Monika Herzig

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◗ IU Fine Arts Theater — Ryder Film Series: “Oslo, August 31”; 7pm

◗ Muddy Boots Cafe, Nashville — Indiana Boys; 7-9pm

◗ Bloomington Speedway — Indiana Sprint Week; racing begins at 7:30pm

◗ Oliver Winery — Live music, Mike Milligan & Steam Shovel; 7:30pm

◗ IU Wells-Metz Theatre — Musical, “You Can’t Take It with You”; 7:30pm

◗ Buskirk-Chumley Theater — Mary Chapin Carpenter; 8pm

◗ IU Musical Arts Center — Summer Arts Festival: Symphonic series, works by Strauss, Mahler & Schubert, conducted by Cliff Colnot; 8pm

◗ The Player’s Pub — LottaBLUESah; 8pm

◗ IU Woodburn Hall Theater — Ryder Film Series: “Elles”; 8pm

Juliette Binoche in “Elles”

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◗ The Comedy Attic — Hannibal Buress; 8 & 10:30pm

◗ Cafe Django — Mr. Taylor & His Dirty Dixie Band; 8:15pm

◗ IU Fine Arts Theater — Ryder Film Series: “Gerhard Richter Painting”; 8:45pm

◗ The Bluebird — Todd Snider; 9pm

◗ Muddy Boots Cafe, Nashville — Cade Puckett; 9:30-11:30pm

Ongoing:

◗ Ivy Tech Waldron Center — Exhibits:

John D. Shearer, “I’m Too Young For This @#!%”; through July 30th
Claire Swallow, ‘Memoir”; through July 28th
Dale Gardner, “Time Machine”; through July 28th
Sarah Wain, “That Takes the Cake”; through July 28th
Jessica Lucas & Alex Straiker, “Life Under the Lens — The Art of Microscopy”; through July 28th

◗ IU Art Museum — Exhibits:

Qiao Xiaoguang, “Urban Landscape: A Selection of Papercuts” ; through August 12th
“A Tribute to William Zimmerman,” wildlife artist; through September 9th
Willi Baumeister, “Baumeister in Print”; through September 9th
Annibale and Agostino Carracci, “The Bolognese School”; through September 16th
“Contemporary Explorations: Paintings by Contemporary Native American Artists”; through October 14th
David Hockney, “New Acquisitions”; through October 21st
Utagawa Kuniyoshi, “Paragons of Filial Piety”; through fall semester 2012
Julia Margaret Cameron, Edward Weston, & Harry Callahan, “Intimate Models: Photographs of Husbands, Wives, and Lovers”; through December 31st
“French Printmaking in the Seventeenth Century”; through December 31st

◗ IU SoFA Grunwald Gallery — Exhibits:

Kinsey Institute Juried Art Show; through July 21st
Bloomington Photography Club Annual Exhibition; July 27th through August 3rd

◗ IU Kinsey Institute Gallery — “Ephemeral Ink: Selections of Tattoo Art from the Kinsey Institute Collection”; through September 21st

◗ IU Lilly Library — Exhibit, “Translating the Canon: Building Special Collections in the 21st Century”; through September 1st

◗ IU Mathers Museum of World Cultures — Closed for semester break

◗ Monroe County History Center — Exhibits:

“What Is Your Quilting Story?”; through July 31st
Photo exhibit, “Bloomington: Then and Now” by Bloomington Fading; through October 27th

♢

Category Archives: Chicago Cubs

Hanging In There

Who Doesn’t Love Dalmatians?

More, More, More

Hurts So Good

Fat Man Was a Firecracker

Oooh! Aaah!

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Per La Capa

Her Hero

Before The Fall, August 1969

Heaven On Earth

One Day

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THE QUOTE

HAPPY N. Y.

Plenty

Hoyer (L) & Eptsein: My Happiness Is In Their Hands

The Electron Pencil Tower, Outside Beautiful Bloomington

THE ELECTRON PENCIL COVERS THE EARTH

Our Most Loyal Tajikistani Reader

NICE GUYS FINISH….

“Good” Isn’t Good Enough

The Next Bears’ Head Coach?

PROGRESS, SORT OF

A Rich Kids’ Car

Someplace Other Than Northbrook

Why?

Not A Good Neighbor?

Northbrook’s Very Own, Chief Keef

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THE QUOTE

Johnson & Kennedy

AT LAST!

BIG MIKE MAKES THE CALL

We’ll Do It Again In January

NICE MEME

… THE BEAUTIFUL

Tuesday, November 6th, 2012

ONGOING:

The Ryder & The Electron Pencil. All Bloomington. All the time.

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THE QUOTE

HAVE YOU VOTED YET?

POG PANIC

They Shoot Horses, Don’t They?

ANOTHER ENDING

Their Joy; My Loss

A Kind Of Heaven

Anthony Rizzo Will Lead Us To The Promised Land

FACTS, HAH!

SO NICE

Monday, October 29th, 2012

ONGOING:

The Ryder & The Electron Pencil. All Bloomington. All the time.

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THE QUOTE

THE VOTE

I’M WARNING YOU, I’M GONNA SCREAM

GLANDULAR PROBLEM

Throw The Pink Flag!

Victoria Beckham’s Plastic

GIRLISH POWER

Ooh! What Happens If I Press This Little Thing-y?

WHY, WHY, WHY?

Joe Ricketts: Billionaire Blowhard

All This And D’Souza, Too?

Thursday, October 25th, 2012

ONGOING:

The Ryder & The Electron Pencil. All Bloomington. All the time.

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THE QUOTE

STILL CRYING

That’s A Baseball Behind Him