Category Archives: CNN

12/27/2013
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Anderson Cooper, CNN, Cunnilingus, Dan Savage, Gloria Vanderbilt, Richard M. Nixon, Rob Ford

Hot Licks Air

Speaking In Tongues

I’m on a roll here, as today’s topic again touches on female plumbing and architecture.

Loyal readers will recall that on X-mas day, I mused on the difficulties several media outlets might have experienced when confronted with the need to employ nomenclature — and a more casual, if not downright common variety thereof — for the double-X-chromosomed set’s nether regions.

Phew! Have you penetrated my faux-intellectual obfuscations yet? Don’t worry; I can hardly tell what I’m referring to.

O'Keeffe

A Delightful Georgia O’Keeffe Image

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Anyway, I snickered with schadenfreudal glee over what I imagined to be NPR voices’ discomfort with having to say the words Pussy Riot.

Lo and behold, the usually-stuffed shirts at CNN descended into a discussion of a certain pastime enjoyed by connoisseurs of, shall we say, the eroto-culinary arts last night. (h/t to Wonkette.)

Anderson Cooper and Dan Savage discussed the top news stories of 2013. When Cooper asked Savage what the funnest scandal of the year was, Savage immediately cited Toronto Mayor Rob Ford’s celebrated forays into drugs and hookers.

Said Savage: “I love a good cunnilingus joke on the evening news.”

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Now, most TV anchors might either pretend Savage never said any such thing or the more delicate of them might simply faint. But Cooper felt compelled to relate this story about his mother (the late Gloria Vanderbilt):

My mom once wrote a romance memoir about men she’d dated, and I use that term loosely, and she described one guy she was currently dating — my mom was 85 at the time — as the Nijinsky of cunnilingus. And she made me proofread the book.

“My mom“?

As in, My mom made brownies for my Cub Scout pack one afternoon, or, My mom made sure I always wore earmuffs in the winter.

Even Tricky Dick Nixon, when describing the woman who’d given birth to him (while, it should be added, he was drunk as a skunk) could muster only enough familiarity to say “My mother was a saint.”

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Not My mom was a saint. My mother.

Yet here’s Anderson Cooper musing about his own sainted mother’s orgasmic calisthenics, referring about said activities as if he was Jerry Mathers as the Beaver.

My mom.

I get the feeling that merely contemplating my own mother engaging in such a refreshing pursuit would cause my skull to come apart at the seams.

Skull Sutures

My Coconut Would Disintegrate Into 10 Pieces

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BTW: Fox News bloviators have yet to comment on Cooper & Savage’s colloquoy. Probably because none of them knows what the word cunnilingus means.

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10/30/2012
1 Comment
Barack Obama, Book Corner, Clinique, CNN, Democracy Now!, FairWarning, Flat Earth Society, God, Homophobia, Hurricane Sandy, It's Raining Men, Jimmy Breslin, Katie Couric, Los Angeles Times, Mitt Romney, Myron Levin, NPR, The Weathergirls, Walter Cronkite

The Pencil Today:

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THE QUOTE

“Rage is the only quality which has kept me, or anybody I have ever studied, writing columns for newspapers.” — Jimmy Breslin

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GOD’S PISSED, AS USUAL

You had to know this was coming: Some whacked-out preacher says Big Sandy is God’s way of saying FU to America.

No, he didn’t actually drop the F-bomb. I wish he would have; I would have had more respect for the dumb bastard if he had.

O, Heavenly Father, Please Count To Ten

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I’m not going to link to the story or reveal the preacher’s name. He doesn’t need me to pimp for him. And no one other than his deluded flock has heard of him before this. Now, of course, his name has gone national.

I’ll only say it’s his fervent belief that the god he prays to on his knees each and every night has thrown the gargantuan storm at the Eastern Seaboard because this land is full of lesbians, gays, and other miscreants. Not only that but President Obama is as thick as thieves with the Muslim Brotherhood and together they aim to destroy this holy land.

Which is weird because I thought he’d just finished saying god was in the process of doing that very thing. So, wouldn’t he figure that Obama and the Muslim boys are doing god’s work?

Oh, and somehow Mitt Romney has teed off the creator of the universe big time, too, only I didn’t quite catch how.

Take That, Queers And Arabs!

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You know, this god needs to have a nice glass of wine or go for a massage. He’s constantly suffering from the red ass.

Maybe the prayers of the faithful should go something like, “Chill, Big Guy. It’ll all be cool. Take a breath.”

Funny how things like the Holocaust or Joseph Stalin’s purges or this nation wiping out the Amerinds failed to elicit a peep from the almighty daddy-o but a couple of guys making out makes him insane. I think he’s repressing something.

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REAL REPORTERS

I just subscribed to a muckraking website that was recommended to me by a loyal Book Corner customer. FairWarning describes itself as a purveyor of “news of safety, health, and corporate conduct.” Which means it ought to be in business for at least the rest of this millennium.

Myron Levin: A Reporter, Not A Movie Star

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Here’s a sample of headlines it has run recently:

  • Oil companies Rarely Punished for North Sea Spills
  • Senate Report Points to Medtronic’s Manipulation of “Independent” Medical Research
  • Young Blacks Awash in Alcohol Ads, Study Says
  • Commentary: A Strange Indifference to Highway Carnage
  • Libertarian Group Prepares Bogus “Addendum” to Undermine Federal Climate Science Report

Founder Myron Levin founded the site after working as an investigative reporter for the Los Angeles Times for 20 years. Photos of his staff portray a gang that’s decidedly seriously and flamboyantly non-glamorous. That’s cool by me — of the several billion brain cells I possess I’ve assigned perhaps six to the maniacal grin of Katie Couric and the rest of her colleagues in the corporate media “news” industry.

Please Stop It, Katie

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In any case Levin and company are less polemic than the likes of Democracy Now! and far less precious than NPR. They are pure journalists, and isn’t that refreshing?

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NIGHTMARE, NOW

Here’s today’s CNN online headline:

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Let’s get serious about things now. This is the nightmare we’ve been dreading ever since the two words “climate” and “change” were first put together by scientists.

You wonder why I’m so dismissive of corporate media news? This is the prime case in point. They insist on presenting the faux arguments of climate change deniers in the interest of some weird view of journalistic balance. It’d be like Walter Cronkite interviewing a representative of the Flat Earth Society while the Gemini astronauts circled the globe.

That Curved Surface Is Merely An Illusion, Walter

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IT’S RAINING MEN

In honor of Sandy and dedicated to the loon preacher mentioned above, here are The Weathergirls, AKA Two Tons of Fun, with the biggest gay anthem of all time.

My club pals and I would go to the cavernous boy dance bars after hours back when we were young, trim, and loathe to ever go to sleep. The DJs would boost the bass and volume on this track to the point that I’m surprised the foundations and masonry of nearby structures didn’t crack. The joint would smell of leather, sweat, poppers, and Clinique. And we’d dance ourselves into delirium.

Don’t ask me how we survived it all.

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The only events listings you need in Bloomington.

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Tuesday, October 30th, 2012

VOTE ◗ Two locations for early voting in Monroe County today:

  • The Curry Building, 214 W. Seventh St.; 8am-6pm
  • Indiana University Assembly Hall, South Lobby, 1001 E. 17th St.; 10am-6pm

STUDIO TOUR ◗ Brown County, various locations — The Backroads of Brown County Studio Tour, free, self-guided tour of 16 local artists’ & craftspersons’ studios; 10am-5pm, through October

MUSIC ◗ IU Ford-Crawford Hall — Doctoral Recital: Ji Hyun Kim on piano; 5pm

MIXER ◗ Coaches Bar & Grill — Young Professionals of Blooomington, monthly event; 5:30-8:30pm

SCIENCE ◗ Lake Monroe, Paynetown SRA Activity Center — Citizen Scientist Quarterly Meeting, Help collect data to track animal populations and monitor habitats; 6-8pm

MUSIC ◗ Cafe Django — Jazz Jam, Featuring Bloomington’s young artists; 7pm

FILM & DISCUSSION ◗ IU Cinema — “The Healthcare Movie,” Followed by discussion led by Rob Stone, MD, Director of Hoosiers for a Commonsense Health Plan, Kosali Simon, PhD, & Beth Cate, JD; 7-9pm

COMMUNITY MEETING ◗ Monroe County Public Library — After Incarceration: Employment Matters, Presented by Decarcerate Monroe County; 7pm

MUSIC ◗ The Player’s Pub — Blues Jam, Hosted by Bottom Road Blues Band; 8pm

GAMES ◗ The Root Cellar at Farm Bloomington — Team trivia; 8pm

MUSIC ◗ IU Ford-Crawford Hall — Hot Tuesdays: Jazz Combos, Wataru Niimori Group & Chris Knight Group; 8:30pm

MUSIC ◗ The Bluebird — Sleigh Bells; 9pm

MUSIC ◗ The Bishop — David Wax Museum, Daughn Gibson; 9pm

MUSIC ◗ Max’s Place — Comics Night; 9pm

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ONGOING:

ART ◗ IU Art Museum — Exhibits:

  • “New Acquisitions,” David Hockney; through October 21st
  • “Paragons of Filial Piety,” by Utagawa Kuniyoshi; through December 31st
  • “Intimate Models: Photographs of Husbands, Wives, and Lovers,” by Julia Margaret, Cameron, Edward Weston, & Harry Callahan; through December 31st
  • “French Printmaking in the Seventeenth Century;” through December 31st
  • Celebration of Cuban Art & Film: Pop-art by Joe Tilson; through December 31st
  • “Threads of Love: Baby Carriers from China’s Minority Nationalities“; through December 23rd
  • “Workers of the World, Unite!” through December 31st
  • “Embracing Nature,” by Barry Gealt; through December 23rd
  • “Pioneers & Exiles: German Expressionism,” through December 23rd

ART ◗ Ivy Tech Waldron Center — Exhibits:

  • “Ab-Fab — Extreme Quilting,” by Sandy Hill; October 5th through October 27th
  • “Street View — Bloomington Scenes,” by Tom Rhea; October 5th through October 27th
  • “From the Heartwoods,” by James Alexander Thom; October 5th through October 27th
  • “The Spaces in Between,” by Ellen Starr Lyon; October 5th through October 27th

ART ◗ IU SoFA Grunwald Gallery — Exhibit:

  • Buzz Spector: Off the Shelf; through November 16th
  • Small Is Big; Through November 16th

ART ◗ IU Kinsey Institute Gallery — Exhibits:

  • “A Place Aside: Artists and Their Partners;” through December 20th
  • “Gender Expressions;” through December 20th

PHOTOGRAPHY ◗ IU Mathers Museum of World Cultures — Exhibit:

  • “CUBAmistad” photos

ART ◗ IU Mathers Museum of World Cultures — Exhibits:

  • “¡Cuba Si! Posters from the Revolution: 1960s and 1970s”
  • “From the Big Bang to the World Wide Web: The Origins of Everything”
  • “Thoughts, Things, and Theories… What Is Culture?”
  • “Picturing Archaeology”
  • “Personal Accents: Accessories from Around the World”
  • “Blended Harmonies: Music and Religion in Nepal”
  • “The Day in Its Color: A Hoosier Photographer’s Journey through Mid-century America”
  • “TOYing with Ideas”
  • “Living Heritage: Performing Arts of Southeast Asia”
  • “On a Wing and a Prayer”

BOOKS ◗ IU Lilly Library — Exhibit:

  • “Outsiders and Others: Arkham House, Weird Fiction, and the Legacy of HP Lovecraft;” through November 1st
  • “A World of Puzzles,” selections from the Slocum Puzzle Collection

PHOTOGRAPHY ◗ Soup’s On — Exhibit:

  • Celebration of Cuban Art & Culture: “CUBAmistad photos; through October

PHOTOGRAPHY ◗ Monroe County History Center — Exhibit:

  • “Bloomington: Then and Now,” presented by Bloomington Fading; through October 27th

ARTIFACTS ◗ Monroe County History Center — Exhibits:

  • Doctors & Dentists: A Look into the Monroe County Medical Professions
  • What Is Your Quilting Story?
  • Garden Glamour: Floral Fashion Frenzy
  • Bloomington Then & Now
  • World War II Uniforms
  • Limestone Industry in Monroe County

The Ryder & The Electron Pencil. All Bloomington. All the time.

10/27/2012
1 Comment
Abortion, Birthers, Business Insider, CNN, Colin Powell, Eric Holder, Gayle Cook, John H. Sununu, Richard Mourdock, Saddam Hussein, Terri Schiavo, United Nations

The Pencil Today:

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THE QUOTE

“Though this nation has proudly thought of itself as an ethnic melting pot, in things racial we have always been and continue to be, in too many ways, essentially a nation of cowards.” — Eric Holder

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PICK YOUR PRESIDENT

Get out of bed, splash some water on your face, throw your sweatclothes on, and go vote.

Yup, you can do it today. Special Saturday hours at The Curry Building, 214 W. Seventh St. are 9am-4pm.

Why wait?

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SUNUNU NEWS

Yes, the Republicans are incredibly good at sticking their feet in their mouths.

And even when they’re not misspeaking, their heartfelt utterances are enough to scare the rest of us half to death. For instance, I have no doubt Richard Mourdock honestly and truly believes what he said the other night about rape babies being conceived because god intends it. If I had a womb, I’d be sleeping with the lights on at this point.

But sometimes they speak real truths. It makes me feel all soiled to say it but John H. Sununu’s take on Colin Powell’s endorsement of Barack Obama is just such a case.

The Sudden “Liberal”

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Sununu, the first President Bush’s chief of staff and now a spokesmodel for the Romney campaign, told CNN Thursday night that Powell is backing the Prez because they’re both black.

Oh, my side of the fence is going bananas over that one. How dare he say such a thing! the wisdom goes.

To which I say, Bah!

Look, Colin Powell was such a loyal Republican that he allowed himself to be trotted out before the world and the United Nations with the Bush Administration’s flimsy argument that Saddam Hussein was cooking up weapons of mass destruction during the lead-in to our misguided war with Iraq.

Just Trust Us, Okay?

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He served as Secretary of State under a president so divisive and partisan that he made Ronald Reagan look like a professional arbitrator.

Now all of a sudden he’s behind a Democrat who’s so vilified by the Republicans that a significant percentage of them don’t believe he was born in this country and many of their theorists suggest he’s out to destroy the land he presides over.

I don’t buy it. Sununu’s right. Powell’s backing Barack because they share skin color.

Sununu’s mistake was speaking such a harsh truth out loud. We’re the ones who should be embarrassed because we can’t take it.

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FUN WITH NUMBERS

Gayle Cook is now the richest human being in Indiana.

So says Business Insider in the online mag’s feature this week on the wealthiest person in each of the 50 states.

Bill Cook’s widow can spend her days and nights counting 3.4BB bucks, according to BI’s estimate of her wealth.

Let’s pretend she can magically transform all that wealth into so much cash in the snap of a finger. Then let’s say she decides to go on a spending spree. Say she sets a goal of spending $10,000 a day, just for kicks. She can buy anything she wants every day as long as she doesn’t exceed that 10k limit.

Reimagining Gayle As A Drunken Sailor

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She could, for instance, buy sirloin steak for herself and all her friends as well as a decent number of Bloomingtonians today. At about $6.47 a pound, she’d be able to purchase 1545.6 pounds of the juicy stuff. That’s just in a day, I might remind you.

Say instead, she wanted to fill as many people’s cars up at the gas station as her ten grand would allow. Last I checked, gas was going for $3.45 a gallon here in Bloomington. Assuming all her pals’ hot rods need an average of 10 gallons to top off, she’ll be able to make some 299 people deliriously happy.

We’re talking dough, right?

Even at that rate of expenditure, Gayle Cook would need some 931 years to burn through all her cash.

Sheesh.

Here are some other folks who are the richest in their states:

  • Idaho’s Frank VanderSloot is worth $1.2BB. He’s the CEO of Melaleuca, a company that runs a multi-level marketing racket based on an iffy tree oil potion. By the way, VanderSloot has thrown about a million bucks Mitt Romney’s way so far this year.
  • Tennessee’s Thomas Frist is worth $3BB. He helped Harlan Sanders start Kentucky Fried Chicken and then went on to start up the Hospital Corporation of America, the largest for-profit hospital operator on the globe. Daddy-o Thomas’s kid is Tennessee Senator Bill Frist. Remember him? He was the guy who determined celebrity vegetable Terri Schiavo to be taking a nap back in 2001 merely by glancing at some video footage of her.
  • Illinois’ Sam Zell is worth $3.9BB. He purchased the Tribune Company back in 2008. The Tribune newspaper is driving itself out of business and the Tribune’s former property, the Chicago Cubs, are, well, the Chicago Cubs.
  • Michigan’s Richard DeVos, Sr. is worth $5.1BB. He founded the nation’s biggest multi-level marketing racket, AmWay.
  • John Menard of Wisconsin is worth $6BB. He founded the Menard’s home improvement chain and threw scads of money at Gov. Scott Walker to support his union-busting efforts. Menard also counts the Koch Boys as close pals.
  • Oregon’s Philip Knight is worth $13BB. His Nike outfit sells shoes for a hundred dollars-plus a pop even though they’re worth pennies in materials and are manufactured by tots who are chained in galley ships and are whipped by former gladiators.
  • Virginia’s Forrest Mars is worth $17BB. His Mars candy company makes Snickers bars. He’s worth every penny he has.

Nougat, Peanuts, Caramel, Chocolate — Genius!

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  • Nevada’s Sheldon Adelson is worth $20.2BB. He is Satan incarnate.
  • David Koch of Kansas is worth $32.1BB. Oops, I made a mistake. He’s Satan incarnate.

From all I hear, Gayle Cook’s a good soul, as was her husband. Can’t say the same about the rest of them (although Forrest Mars deserves the Nobel Prize in Candymaking.)

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The only events listings you need in Bloomington.

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Saturday, October 27th, 2012

FOOD ◗ City Hall, Showers Building parking lot — Farmers Market; 8am-1pm

VOTE TODAY ◗The Curry Building, 214 W. Seventh St.; 9am-4pm

BENEFIT WALK ◗ IU Memorial Stadium — 2012 Bloomington Out of the Darkness Walk for Suicide Prevention & Awareness; 9am-noon

CLASS ◗ Monroe County Public Library — VITAL English as a Second Language tutor training, 1st of 2 sessions; 10am

STUDIO TOUR ◗ Brown County, various locations — The Backroads of Brown County Studio Tour, free, self-guided tour of 16 local artists’ & craftspersons’ studios; 10am-5pm, through October

POETRY & BOOKS ◗ Various locations around IU campus & Bloomington — Sylvia Plath Symposium 2012, celebrating 50 years since the publication of her “Ariel” collection, Through Saturday, Today’s highlights at IU Woodburn Hall:

  • Theme: 50 Years of “Ariel” and “The October Poems“
  • Karen Kukli on PLath’s archival references to “Fever 103“; 10-10:50am
  • Linda Adele Goodine on the video, “Bee Asana: Healing of Plath,” & the “Seneca Honey Series” photos; 11-11:50am
  • Suzie Hanna & Tom Simmons on the animated film, “Girl Who Would Be God“; Noon-12:50pm
  • Julie Goodspeed-Chadwick on cultural/medico/political aspects of trauma & narrative in “Ariel“; 2-2:25pm
  • Lynda K. Bundtzen on Plath’s “Bee Sequence” poems; 2:30-3:20pm
  • Langdon Hammer 0n Plath’s German “Daddy” & “Lorelei“; 3:30-4:20pm
  • Heather Clark & Anita Helle on Otto Plath’s FBI files & scientific works; 4:30-5:20pm
  • Heather Clark, Langdon Hammer, Anita Helle, & Peter K. Steinberg on archiving Otto Plath; 5:25-5:55pm
  • Linda Gates’ “Mushroom” puppetry & Caroline Harris, Matt Kuyawa, Marek Pavlovski, & Sophie Rich drama dialog of “Blood Jet Is Poetry: The Shared Poetic Language of Sylvia Plath and Ted Hughes,” discussion led by Laura Passin; 6-7:30pm
  • Book Signing; 7:30pm

LECTURE ◗ IU Swain Hall West — “Mars: Update on the Curiosity Probe,” Presented by IU Geology Department chair Lisa Pratt; 11am-noon

ARTS FEST ◗ Foxfire Park, Nashville — Fall Fine Arts Festival; 11am-6pm

LECTURE ◗ IU Swain Hall West — Physics professor Harold Ogren talks about the Higgs Boson; Noon-1pm

OPERA ◗ IU Musical Arts Center — Indiana District round of Metropolitan Opera National Council auditions; Noon

MUSIC ◗ Muddy Boots Cafe, Nashville — Robbie Bowden; Noon

BENEFIT ◗ Ellington Stables, 680 W. That Rd. — Adoption Day, For Horse Angels Rescue abused & neglected horse care program; 1-5pm

SPORTS ◗ IU Field Hockey Complex — Hoosier women’s field hockey vs. Ohio State; 1pm

LECTURE ◗ IU Swain Hall West — Political science professor Bill Bianco American & Russian cooperation in the International Space Station; 1-2pm

HALLOWE’EN ◗ Haunted Hayride and Stables — Friendly hayrides; 1-7pm

MUSIC ◗ IU Auer Hall — Pre-College Strings Halloween Concert; 1-2pm

STAGE ◗ IU Wells-Metz Theatre — “Richard III“; 2pm

DANCE & BENEFIT ◗ Buskirk Chumley Theater — “Thrill the World 2012,” Dozens dance Michael Jackson’s “Thriller,” For Cardinal Stage Company; 2pm

STORYTELLING ◗ IU Art Museum — Spooky Stories in the Gallery, Presented by Bloomington Storytellers Guild; 2-4pm

HALLOWE’EN ◗ Lake Monroe, Paynetown SRA — Ghostly Gathering, party, campsite decorating contest, trick or treat, costume contest, “ghost” hunt; 2:30pm through Sunday at 5pm

FILM ◗ IU Cinema — “Bride of Frankenstein” & “Freaks“; 3pm

MUSIC ◗ IU Ford-Crawford Hall — Pre-College Harp Halloween Recital; 3-5pm

BENEFIT ◗ St. Paul Catholic Center — Great American bake Sale, For Share Our Strength childhood hunger program; 4:30pm

MUSIC ◗ Bloomington High School North — “Symphonic Spooktacular,” Presented by the Bloomington Symphony Orchestra; 5pm

MUSIC ◗ IU Ford-Crawford Hall — Senior Recital: Janessa Reames, soprano; 5pm

BENEFIT ◗ Cardinal Stage Company Building — “Cast a Spell” adult halloween party; 6-10pm

MUSIC ◗ IU Auer Hall — Doctoral Recital: Li-An Chen on piano; 6pm

PERFORMANCE ◗ Rachael’s Cafe — Different Drummer Belly Dancers; 6-8pm

FILM ◗ IU Fine Arts Theater — Ryder Film Series: “All Together“; 7pm

SPORTS ◗ IU Gymnasium — Hoosier volleyball vs. Michigan; 7pm

MUSIC ◗ Muddy Boots Cafe, Nashville — Little Merrie Simmons; 7-9pm

HALLOWE’EN ◗ Haunted Hayride and Stables — Scary hayrides; 7-11pm

HALLOWE’EN ◗ Bakers Junction Railroad Museum — Haunted train; 7pm

HALLOWE’EN ◗ Frank Southern Ice Arena — Skate & Scare, skating, haunted house, cider, trick or treat; 7pm

MUSIC ◗ IU Ford-Crawford Hall — Senior Recital: Cameron Smith on trombone; 7pm

FILM ◗ IU Cinema — Ultra-Low Budget Double Feature: “The Gamers: Dorkness Rising” & “Beverly Lane“; 7pm

STAGE ◗ IU Wells-Metz Theatre — “Richard III“; 7:30pm

FILM ◗ IU Woodburn Hall Theater — Ryder Film Series: “All Together“; 8pm

MUSIC ◗ IU Auer Hall — Faculty & Guest Recital: William Ludwig on bassoon, Kay Kim on piano; 8pm

MUSIC ◗ Rachael’s Cafe — Jerome & the Psychics, Agent Ribbons, The Gypsies; 8:30-11pm

MUSIC ◗ The Bluebird — Jon McLaughlin; 9pm

STAGE ◗ Bloomington High School South — Comedy, “Once Upon a Mattress”; 7:30pm

HALLOWE’EN FILM ◗ Buskirk Chumley Theater — “Rocky Horror Picture Show“; 7:30pm

MUSIC ◗ Cafe Django — Post Modern Jazz Quartet; 8pm

COMEDY ◗ The Comedy Attic — Michael Winslow; 8pm

MUSIC ◗ The Player’s Pub — The Dynamics Halloween Party; 8pm

STORYTELLING ◗ Max’s Place — — “Bone-Chilling Stories,” Presented by the Bloomington Storytelling Project; 8pm

FILM ◗ IU Memorial Union, Whittenberger Auditorium — UB Films: “The Campaign“; 8pm

FILM ◗ IU Fine Arts Theater — Ryder Film Series: “Side by Side“; 8:30pm

HALLOWE’EN ◗ Serendipity Martini Bar — Bloomington Burlesque Brigade’s Halloween Horror Show; 10pm

COMEDY ◗ The Comedy Attic — Michael Winslow; 10:30pm

MUSIC ◗ The Bishop — Players Ball; 11pm

FILM ◗ IU Memorial Union, Whittenberger Auditorium — UB Films: “The Campaign“; 11pm

HALLOWE’EN FILM ◗ Buskirk Chumley Theater — “Rocky Horror Picture Show“; 11:30pm

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ONGOING:

ART ◗ IU Art Museum — Exhibits:

  • “New Acquisitions,” David Hockney; through October 21st
  • “Paragons of Filial Piety,” by Utagawa Kuniyoshi; through December 31st
  • “Intimate Models: Photographs of Husbands, Wives, and Lovers,” by Julia Margaret, Cameron, Edward Weston, & Harry Callahan; through December 31st
  • “French Printmaking in the Seventeenth Century;” through December 31st
  • Celebration of Cuban Art & Film: Pop-art by Joe Tilson; through December 31st
  • “Threads of Love: Baby Carriers from China’s Minority Nationalities“; through December 23rd
  • “Workers of the World, Unite!” through December 31st
  • “Embracing Nature,” by Barry Gealt; through December 23rd
  • “Pioneers & Exiles: German Expressionism,” through December 23rd

ART ◗ Ivy Tech Waldron Center — Exhibits:

  • “Ab-Fab — Extreme Quilting,” by Sandy Hill; October 5th through October 27th
  • “Street View — Bloomington Scenes,” by Tom Rhea; October 5th through October 27th
  • “From the Heartwoods,” by James Alexander Thom; October 5th through October 27th
  • “The Spaces in Between,” by Ellen Starr Lyon; October 5th through October 27th

ART ◗ IU SoFA Grunwald Gallery — Exhibit:

  • Buzz Spector: Off the Shelf; through November 16th
  • Small Is Big; Through November 16th

ART ◗ IU Kinsey Institute Gallery — Exhibits:

  • “A Place Aside: Artists and Their Partners;” through December 20th
  • “Gender Expressions;” through December 20th

PHOTOGRAPHY ◗ IU Mathers Museum of World Cultures — Exhibit:

  • “CUBAmistad” photos

ART ◗ IU Mathers Museum of World Cultures — Exhibits:

  • “¡Cuba Si! Posters from the Revolution: 1960s and 1970s”
  • “From the Big Bang to the World Wide Web: The Origins of Everything”
  • “Thoughts, Things, and Theories… What Is Culture?”
  • “Picturing Archaeology”
  • “Personal Accents: Accessories from Around the World”
  • “Blended Harmonies: Music and Religion in Nepal”
  • “The Day in Its Color: A Hoosier Photographer’s Journey through Mid-century America”
  • “TOYing with Ideas”
  • “Living Heritage: Performing Arts of Southeast Asia”
  • “On a Wing and a Prayer”

BOOKS ◗ IU Lilly Library — Exhibit:

  • “Outsiders and Others: Arkham House, Weird Fiction, and the Legacy of HP Lovecraft;” through November 1st
  • “A World of Puzzles,” selections from the Slocum Puzzle Collection

PHOTOGRAPHY ◗ Soup’s On — Exhibit:

  • Celebration of Cuban Art & Culture: “CUBAmistad photos; through October

PHOTOGRAPHY ◗ Monroe County History Center — Exhibit:

  • “Bloomington: Then and Now,” presented by Bloomington Fading; through October 27th

ARTIFACTS ◗ Monroe County History Center — Exhibits:

  • Doctors & Dentists: A Look into the Monroe County Medical Professions
  • What Is Your Quilting Story?
  • Garden Glamour: Floral Fashion Frenzy
  • Bloomington Then & Now
  • World War II Uniforms
  • Limestone Industry in Monroe County

The Ryder & The Electron Pencil. All Bloomington. All the time.

09/28/2012
Leave a comment
Andrew Beacham, Ann Coulter, Barack Obama, Civil Rights, CNN, Great Depression, Great Recession, Huffington Post, Isaac Newton, Joe Donnelly, John Gregg, Mark Kruzan, Mike Pence, Planned Parenthood, Poverty, Republican Party, Richard Mourdock, US Census Bureau, Vi Simpson

The Pencil Today:

✍

THE QUOTE

“I can calculate the motion of heavenly bodies, but not the madness of people.” — Isaac Newton

▲

MONEY WELL SPENT?

Bloomington’s big name Democrats will gather in Nick’s English Hut to raise dough for the party’s gubernatorial ticket tonight.

John Gregg and his ace in the hole, Vi Simpson, will press the flesh at the fabled old place starting at five. Mayor Mark Kruzan will host.

The Simpson Bump Won’t Be Enough

✍

With the roll that Barack Obama is on leading up to the general election in November, Gregg’s got to be hoping he can ride the president’s coattails into a victory that six months ago seemed impossible.

The truth is a Gregg win still would be a jaw-dropper. The Huffington Post’s Election Dashboard has Pence up by anywhere from 13 to 18 points in its compilation of polls.

If you’ve got a limited amount of cash to toss at a political campaign, it might be better spent on the US Senate race between Dem Joe Donnelly and Tea Party sweetheart Richard Mourdock, which HuffPo rates a toss-up.

Donnelly Can Win

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HARD TIMES, STILL

Conventional wisdom has it that when people are suffering economically, the sitting president’s going to be in hot water.

But like the Great Depression, this Great Recession has not been a conventional time. The electorate sees these bad money times as a result more of systemic failures than simply any single president’s policies.

And don’t let anybody fool you — we’re still in a big time slump. Take Indiana. More than a million Hoosiers now live in poverty, according to the US Census Bureau. That’s a nearly five percent increase from last year. Speaking of percentages, 16 percent of this state’s residents fall below the poverty line now.

Then Or Now?

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Perhaps if the Republican Party wasn’t in the clutches of whacked-out ideologues and, simultaneously, hadn’t nominated a wishy-washy boob as its standard bearer this year, Obama would be looking at a monumental poll deficit.

With enemies like the GOP, the Dems have all the friends they need.

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BATTY

Okay, let’s just say it and get on with our lives, Ann Coulter is mentally unbalanced.

HELP!

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The Harridan of the Right told George Stephanopoulis on ABC’s “This Week” wagfest that gays and women and immigrants and, well, anybody else who’s not Ann Coulter don’t have civil rights. And, no, I didn’t mistype there. You might try to get technical and say, “Hey, wait a minute. Ann Coulter’s a woman!”

That would be true were she not a nightmarish product of the TV industry’s evil brain.

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IT’S A MAD, MAD, MAD, MAD PARTY

No, wait, let me amend that: the whole Republican Party is deranged.

A Tea Party candidate for Congress from Kentucky’s 2nd District has produced a campaign ad linking Barack Obama to serial killer Ted Bundy as well as Al Capone, Adolph Hitler, and the Muslim Brotherhood because he supports Planned Parenthood and has not expressed a desire to nuke the capitals of the Muslim world as yet.

Peas In A Pod: Adolph & Barack

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A word of warning: the vid shows images of aborted fetuses and murdered adults.

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THE MADNESS IS CONTAGIOUS

Wait, wait, wait! It’s CNN that’s psychotic! Dig these headlines from its online version the other night:

  • Decapitated woman lives to tell tale
  • Half-ton aunt too fat to be real killer
  • Fecal transplant saves woman’s life
  • Alcohol-enema case ‘shocks’ UT officials

That’s right — fecal transplant. I don’t even want to know.

A New Media Colossus?

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The only events listings you need in Bloomington.

✍

Friday, September 28th, 2012

Brought to you by The Electron Pencil: Bloomington Arts, Culture, Politics, and Hot Air. Daily.

FAIR ◗ Monroe County Fairgrounds, Commercial Building West — 29th Annual American Red Cross Book Fair, +100,000 used books, CDs, DVDs, games, maps, sheet music, etc.; 9am-7pm, through October 2nd

ART ◗ Ivy Tech Waldron Center, outside WFHB Studios — Participate in the construction of “The Messenger,” recycled metal sculpture to be installed at B-Line Trail; 9am-5pm

CONFERENCE ◗ IU Memorial Union, Walnut Room — “Where’s the ‘World’ in Popular Music?” Interdisciplinary presented by the Colloege of Liberal Arts & Sciences, click link for schedule of events, free and open to the public; 9am-5:30pm

SEMINAR ◗ Various venues — The Combine, 3rd annual display of talent , innovation, and entrepreneurial spirit, featuring speakers, workshops, idea pitches, and mixers; through Sunday, September 30th, today’s events:

❏ Bloomington Convention Center — Workshops; 9am

❏ Bloomington Convention Center — Verge Power Pitch Session; 4pm

❏ Bloomington Convention Center — Tech Cocktail, mixer; 7pm

LECTURE ◗ IU Mathers Museum of World Cultures — “Maria, Put the Tea Kettle on! We’ll All Have some Tea”; Anthropologist April Sievert discusses artifacts found at the Munson House at Spring Mill State Park in Lawrence County; Noon

LECTURE ◗ IU Art Museum — Noon Talk series: “Weston, Callahan, and Cameron,” presented by Garrett Hansen, guest curator of the Kinsey Institute’s exhibit, “A Place Aside: Artists and Their Partners“; Noon

POLITICS ◗ Nick’s English Hut — Fundraiser for Indiana Democratic gubernatorial ticket John Gregg & Vi Simpson; 5pm

ART ◗ Bloomington Playwrights Project — Opening reception for lobby exhibit, Stone Belt Art; 5:30-8pm

TEENS ◗ WonderLab — Teen Night, 5:30-8:30pm

DANCING ◗ IU Neal-Marshall Black Culture Center — Salsa Under the Stars, part of National Hispanic Heritage Month; 6pm

OKTOBERFEST ◗ KRC Banquets — Music, dancing, & food, featring the Hungry Five German Band, the Bloomington Bones, & the Bloomington Brass Band; 6pm

ART ◗ The Venue Fine Art & Gifts — Opening reception for the exhibit, The Art of Fenella Finn; 6pm

RETREAT ◗ Bradford Woods — One Diva Weekend, for gay/bisexual men; Begins at 6pm, through Sunday at 1pm

FILM ◗ IU Cinema — Derek Jarman Super 8 Films; 6:30pm

WORKSHOP ◗ Tibetan Mongolian Buddhist Cultural Center — Buddhism in Everyday Life Series: “What Is the One Most Important Thing on the Buddhist Path?” Presented by Ani Choekye; 6:30pm

FILM ◗ IU Fine Arts Theater — Ryder Film Series: “Meet the Fokkens“; 7pm

SPORTS ◗ IU Gymnasium — Hoosier volleyball vs. Illinois; 7pm

OPEN HOUSE ◗ IU Radio-TV Services Building — WFIU Annual Listeners Reception; 7-9pm

MUSIC ◗ Muddy Boots Cafe, Nashville — Joe Sanford; 7-9pm

NATURE ◗ Twin Lakes Sports Park — Bats in the Park, learn about bats, presented by the Center for North American Bat Research & Conservation; 7pm

MUSIC & POETRY ◗ Sweet Claire Bakery — Jacqueline Jones LaMon, poet, & Erol Ozsever, classical guitarist; 7-8:30pm

STAGE ◗ Bloomington Playwrights Project — Comedy, “RX,” by Kate Fodor; 7:30pm

STAGE ◗ IU Halls Theatre — Drama, “When the Rain Stops Falling;” 7:30pm

PHOTOGRAPHY ◗ IU SoFA McCalla School — Group exhibit, “Aufheben,” photographers presented by curators Zachary Norman & Aaron Hergert; 7:30pm

SPORTS ◗ IU Bill Armstrong Stadium — Hoosier women’s soccer vs. Illinois; 7:30pm

FILM ◗ IU Woodburn Hall Theatre — Ryder Film Series: “Neighboring Sounds“; 7pm

MUSIC ◗ Cafe Django — Matt MacDougall Quartet; 8pm

FILM ◗ IU Memorial Union, Whittenberger Auditorium — UB Films: “Katy Perry: Part of Me;” 8pm

BALLET ◗ IU Musical Arts Center — “Light and Shade,” Presented by IU Ballet Theater; 8pm

COMEDY ◗ The Comedy Attic — Greg Behrendt; 8pm

MUSIC ◗ The Player’s Pub — The Reacharounds; 8pm

MUSIC ◗ Max’s Place — Grandview Junction; 8pm

FILM ◗ IU Fine Arts — Ryder Film Series: “Marina Abramovic: The Artist Is Present“; 7pm

MUSIC ◗ Rachael’s Cafe — Wakefield; 8pm

MUSIC ◗ Serendipity Martini Bar — Live Turkish music, Istanbul Breeze; 8:30pm

MUSIC ◗ The Bluebird — Thomas Rhett; 9pm

FILM ◗ IU Cinema — “Blue“; 9:30pm

COMEDY ◗ The Comedy Attic — Greg Behrendt; 10:30pm

FILM ◗ IU Memorial Union, Whittenberger Auditorium — UB Films: “Katy Perry: Part of Me;” 11pm

FILM ◗ IU Cinema — “Fleshpot on 42nd Street“; Midnight

ONGOING:

ART ◗ IU Art Museum — Exhibits:

  • “New Acquisitions,” David Hockney; through October 21st
  • “Paragons of Filial Piety,” by Utagawa Kuniyoshi; through December 31st
  • “Intimate Models: Photographs of Husbands, Wives, and Lovers,” by Julia Margaret, Cameron, Edward Weston, & Harry Callahan; through December 31st
  • “French Printmaking in the Seventeenth Century;” through December 31st
  • Celebration of Cuban Art & Film: Pop-art by Joe Tilson; through December 31st
  • “Workers of the World, Unite!” through December 31st

ART ◗ Ivy Tech Waldron Center — Exhibits:

  • “What It Means to Be Human,” by Michele Heather Pollock; through September 29th
  • “Land and Water,” by Ruth Kelly; through September 29th

ART ◗ IU SoFA Grunwald Gallery — Exhibit:

  • “Samenwerken,” Interdisciplinary collaborative multi-media works; through October 11th

ART ◗ IU Kinsey Institute Gallery — Exhibits opening September 28th:

  • “A Place Aside: Artists and Their Partners;” through December 20th
  • “Gender Expressions;” through December 20th

PHOTOGRAPHY ◗ IU Mathers Museum of World Cultures — Exhibit:

  • “CUBAmistad” photos

ART ◗ IU Mathers Museum of World Cultures — Exhibits:

  • “¡Cuba Si! Posters from the Revolution: 1960s and 1970s”
  • “From the Big Bang to the World Wide Web: The Origins of Everything”
  • “Thoughts, Things, and Theories… What Is Culture?”
  • “Picturing Archaeology”
  • “Personal Accents: Accessories from Around the World”
  • “Blended Harmonies: Music and Religion in Nepal”
  • “The Day in Its Color: A Hoosier Photographer’s Journey through Mid-century America”
  • “TOYing with Ideas”
  • “Living Heritage: Performing Arts of Southeast Asia”
  • “On a Wing and a Prayer”

BOOKS ◗ IU Lilly Library — Exhibit:

  • “Outsiders and Others:Arkham House, Weird Fiction, and the Legacy of HP Lovecraft;” through November 1st
  • “A World of Puzzles,” selections form the Slocum Puzzle Collection

PHOTOGRAPHY ◗ Soup’s On — Exhibit:

  • Celebration of Cuban Art & Culture: “CUBAmistad photos; through October

ART ◗ Boxcar Books — Exhibit:

  • Celebration of Cuban Art & Film: Papercuts by Ned Powell; through September

PHOTOGRAPHY ◗ Monroe County History Center — Exhibit:

  • “Bloomington: Then and Now,” presented by Bloomington Fading; through October 27th

ARTIFACTS ◗ Monroe County History Center — Exhibit:

  • “Doctors and Dentists: A Look into the Monroe County Medical professions“

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The Electron Pencil. Go there. Read. Like. Share.

09/21/2012
3 Comments
Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini, CNN, Fareed Zakaria, Fatwa, Global Public Square, Guns, Indiana Carry Law, Innocence of Muslims, Lauren Spierer, Robert A. Heinlein, Robert Redington, Salman Rushdie, Satanic Verses, Sophia Travis

The Pencil Today:

✍

THE QUOTE

“Men rarely, if ever, manage to dream up a god superior to themselves. Most gods have the manners and morals of a spoiled child.” — Robert A. Heinlein

▲

SOPHIA TRAVIS

From all I hear, she was universally beloved. We were Facebook friends but I’d never met her. I’ve put out the call for someone to write up a good eulogy for her in this space. Stay tuned.

Sophia & Her Four-Year-Old Son Finn

▲

Gun Crazy

Remember that guy found with an arsenal on the third floor of the Seventh Street municipal parking garage?

Robert Redington of Indianapolis was caught loitering six weeks ago in the garage at a spot that just happened to overlook Kilroy’s Sports Bar on Walnut Street. Police have been sensitive about Kilroy’s ever since Lauren Spierer disappeared after spending the night drinking at the place in June, 2011.

Redington, apparently, was watching people come into and out of Kilroy’s. He had with him a laser rangefinder as well as a couple of loaded automatic handguns in his waistband. Police also found a loaded shotgun in the trunk of his car nearby.

Indiana’s new carry laws don’t prohibit the average citizen from walking around so armed. But Redington has been found to be off his nut. Somehow, the NRA and other gun fetishists haven’t convinced legislators to allow every lunatic in the state to pack heat. Yet.

Anyway, Redington had a cache of 51 guns in his home. The cops seized all the weapons after he was arrested. Judge Mary Ellen Diekhoff ruled yesterday in Monroe County Circuit Court that Redington’s personal armory will not be returned to him. Indiana law allows judges to disarm those who’ve been ruled dangerously mad.

Somehow, some way, the sane among us have put at least that much of a brake on the steady trend to allow every man, woman, child, and — for all we know — household pet to own and carry firearms.

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GOD CRAZY

Salman Rushdie is the go-to guy for a personal slant on the chaotic demonstrations and riots sweeping the Muslim world in reaction to that ridiculous “Innocence of Muslims” film and the French magazine cartoon that lampoons Muhammad.

Rushdie

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Iran’s Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini ordered a necktie party for Rushdie after the publication of his book, “The Satanic Verses,” in 1989. And on Monday, some previously anonymous imam offered to pay $3.3 million to any Muslim who kills Rushdie. These guys have long memories.

Muslim extremism is beginning to make this holy land’s god-fetishists look quaint.

God’s Soldiers

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So, Rushdie granted an interview to CNN’s Fareed Zakaria this week. It’ll air on Zakaria’s Global Public Square program Sunday. Rushdie has plenty to say about the contretemps in Muslim Southwest Asia and Africa. He feels much of the outrage and violence is being manufactured by those who hope to benefit from the chaos. That’s how he felt about the demonstrations against his book 23 years ago, as well.

Rushdie says: “…I think certainly, if we look at what’s happening now, this is very much a product of the outrage machine. Yes. there’s this stupid film, and the correct response to a stupid film on YouTube is to say it’s a stupid film on YouTube, and you get on with the rest of your life. So, to take that and to deliberately use it to inflame your troops, you know, is a political act. That’s not about religion; that’s about power.”

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Yep, we’re back here for the time being.

The spanking new Ryder website is…, well, it’s somewhere. While Peter LoPilato and his army of computer geeks perfect the new site, we’ll be running Bloomington’s best events listings here, again.

Enjoy.

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Friday, September 21st, 2012

Brought to you by The Electron Pencil: Bloomington Arts, Culture, Politics, and Hot Air. Daily.

MUSIC FESTIVAL ◗ Downtown Bloomington, various locations — Lotus World Music & Arts Festival; though Sunday, September 23rd, various times, today’s lineups:

❏ Buskirk Chumley Theater:

  • Deolinda; 7pm
  • Fatoumata Diawara; 8:45pm
  • Fishtank Ensemble; 10:30pm

❏ First United Methodist Church:

  • JPP; 7pm
  • Galant, Tu Perds Ton Temps; 8:45pm
  • Vida; 10:30pm

❏ Ivy Tech Tent:

  • Pokey LaFarge & the South City Three; 7pm
  • Hanggai; 8:45pm
  • Panorama Jazz Band; 10:30pm

❏ IU Tent:

  • Taj Weekes & Adowa; 7:15pm
  • Slavic Soul Party; 8:45pm
  • Movits!; 10:30pm

❏ First Presbyterian Church:

  • Melody of China; 7pm
  • Keith Terry & Evie Ladin; 8:45pm
  • Trio Brasileiro; 10:30pm

❏ Jake’s Nightclub:

  • Hudsucker Posse; 10pm

MUSIC FESTIVAL ◗ Bill Monroe Memorial Music Park & Campground — 38th Annual Bill Monroe Bluegrass Hall of Fame & Uncle Pen Days; through Saturday, September 22nd, today’s acts:

  • Bobby Osborne & the Rocky Top X-Press, JD Crow & the New South, Jesse McReynolds & Virginia Boys, Newfound Road, Ralph STanley II, David Parmley & Continental Divide, Tommy Brown & County Line Grass, Wildwood Valley Boys

DISCUSSION ◗ Ivy Tech-Bloomington — Breakfast Learning Series: Affordable Care Act and Its Impact on Behaviral Health Providers; 8am

LECTURE ◗ IU Mathers Museum of World Cultures — Archaeology Month Series: “Stories Told in Stone: Recording Scared and Everyday Landscapes in the Shadow of the Rocky Mountains,” presented by Laura Scheiber; Noon

ART ◗ IU Grunwald Gallery — Exhibit opening reception, Samenwerken, collaborative, team, multimedia projects; 6pm

ART ◗ The Venue Fine Art & Gifts — Opening reception, The Art of Fenelia Flinn; 6-8pm

WORKSHOP ◗ Tibetan Mongolian Buddhist Cultural Center — Buddhism in Everyday Life Series: Recognizing the Pitfalls, presented by Ani Choekye; 6:30pm

DISCUSSION ◗ Monroe County Public Library — Global Issues Community Discussion Series: The Global City Phenomenon, presented by Stephanie Kane & Ron Walker; 7pm

MUSIC ◗ Muddy Boots Cafe, Nashville — Indiana Boys CD release party; 7-9pm

STAGE ◗ IU Halls Theatre — Drama, “When the Rain Stops Falling;” 7:30pm

ART ◗ IU SoFA McCalla School — Installation, “in transit, or to be moving to always be moving and to not stop moving,” presented by The Fuller Projects; 7:30pm

OPERA ◗ IU Musical Arts Center — “Don Giovanni;” 8pm

MUSIC ◗ The Player’s Pub — Bottom Road Blues Band; 8pm

MUSIC ◗ Cafe Django — Monika Herzig and Carolyn Dutton; 8pm

FILM ◗ IU Memorial Union — UB Films: “The Amazing Spiderman;” 8pm

MUSIC ◗ Chateau Thomas Wine Bar — Dylan Carroll; 8pm

MUSIC ◗ The Palace Theatre of Brown County — Classic Country Jukebox, starring Robert Shaw and the Lonely Street Band; 8pm

MUSIC ◗ The Bluebird — Hairbangers Ball; 9pm

FILM ◗ IU Cinema — “Sleepwalking with Me;” 9:30pm

MUSIC ◗ The Bishop — R-Juna, You’re A Liar, The Proforms; 10 pm

MUSIC ◗ Max’s Place — Merrie and Her Mighty Men; 11pm

FILM ◗ IU Memorial Union — UB Films: “The Amazing Spiderman;”11pm

ONGOING:

ART ◗ IU Art Museum — Exhibits:

  • “The Bolognese School,” by Annibale & Agostino Carracci, through September 16th
  • “New Acquisitions,” David Hockney; through October 21st
  • “Paragons of Filial Piety,” by Utagawa Kuniyoshi; through December 31st
  • “Intimate Models: Photographs of Husbands, Wives, and Lovers,” by Julia Margaret, Cameron, Edward Weston, & Harry Callahan; through December 31st
  • “French Printmaking in the Seventeenth Century;” through December 31st
  • Celebration of Cuban Art & Film: Pop-art by Joe Tilson; through December 31st
  • “Workers of the World, Unite!” through December 31st

ART ◗ Ivy Tech Waldron Center — Exhibits:

  • “What It Means to Be Human,” by Michele Heather Pollock; through September 29th
  • “Land and Water,” by Ruth Kelly; through September 29th

ART ◗ IU SoFA Grunwald Gallery — Exhibit:

  • “Samenwerken,” Interdisciplinary collaborative multi-media works, Opening September 21st

ART ◗ IU Kinsey Institute Gallery — Exhibit:

  • “Ephemeral Ink: Selections of Tattoo Art from the Kinsey Institute Collection;” through September 21st

PHOTOGRAPHY ◗ IU Mathers Museum of World Cultures — Exhibit:

  • “CUBAmistad” photos

ART ◗ IU Mathers Museum of World Cultures — Exhibits:

  • “¡Cuba Si! Posters from the Revolution: 1960s and 1970s”
  • “From the Big Bang to the World Wide Web: The Origins of Everything”
  • “Thoughts, Things, and Theories… What Is Culture?”
  • “Picturing Archaeology”
  • “Personal Accents: Accessories from Around the World”
  • “Blended Harmonies: Music and Religion in Nepal”
  • “The Day in Its Color: A Hoosier Photographer’s Journey through Mid-century America”
  • “TOYing with Ideas”
  • “Living Heritage: Performing Arts of Southeast Asia”
  • “On a Wing and a Prayer”

BOOKS ◗ IU Lilly Library — Exhibit:

  • “Outsiders and Others:Arkham House, Weird Fiction, and the Legacy of HP Lovecraft;” through November 1st
  • “A World of Puzzles,” selections form the Slocum Puzzle Collection

PHOTOGRAPHY ◗ Soup’s On — Exhibit:

  • Celebration of Cuban Art & Culture: “CUBAmistad photos; through October

ART ◗ Boxcar Books — Exhibit:

  • Celebration of Cuban Art & Film: Papercuts by Ned Powell; through September

PHOTOGRAPHY ◗ Monroe County History Center — Exhibit:

  • “Bloomington: Then and Now,” presented by Bloomington Fading; through October 27th

ARTIFACTS ◗ Monroe County History Center — Exhibit:

  • “Doctors and Dentists: A Look into the Monroe County Medical professions“

▼

The Electron Pencil. Go there. Read. Like. Share.

09/15/2012
Leave a comment
Arne Duncan, Chicago Cubs, Chicago Daily News, Chicago Public Schools, Chicago Teachers Union, CNN, Desmond Morris, Educatorese, Mark Twain, Mike Royko, New York University, Pedro Noguera, Professor Irwin Corey, The Runaways

The Pencil Today:

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THE QUOTE

“I never let my schooling get in the way of my education.” — Mark Twain

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PAY ‘EM: DAY 6

So, Chicago Teachers Union reps vote on the new CBA tomorrow. And now the post-mortems begin.

For instance, a New York University professor of education came up with all the answers in a CNN Op-Ed piece last night.

Now that the strike is over, the professor writes, the Chicago public schools need to be fixed.

This Just In: Fix It

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Come to this space tomorrow for a statement by medical researchers that human beings must breathe clean air.

Anyway, Professor Pedro Noguera, of the NYU school of education, cites an “exhaustive study of many of the reforms carried out during the Duncan years” (current Secretary of Education Arne Duncan was the longtime head of the CPS). The study, Noguera tells us, discovered that schools can be made better with a combination of “effective leadership, parent-community ties, professional capacity, and a student-centered learning environment.”

Professor Noguera

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That’s like saying the secret for the Chicago Cubs to become a good baseball team is to get players who hit, field, and pitch better.

And look at the last two items on the study’s recommendation list. You know what “professional capacity” means? In plain English it’s good teachers. That “student-centered learning environment”? Translation: the focus of the school system should be teaching kids.

I’m glad Professor Noguera does not teach English.

That titan of good newspaper writing and personal deity of mine, Mike Royko, once penned a column for the Chicago Daily News about something he christened Educatorese.

“Until now,” Royko wrote, “only professional educators knew how to speak educatorese, that mysterious language with which they befuddle the rest of us.”

Mike Royko

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As usual, Royko was being snide. The fact is, though, in-groups of people have been utilizing terminologies and languages that the common clay can’t understand as a way elevate themselves to priestly status since humankind began scheduling meetings.

Zoologist and human sociobiologist Desmond Morris once pointed out that lawyers and doctors and scientists long ago retained Latin as their linguae francae because it was important to keep their professional secrets from, ugh, people.

✍

Morris also mentioned how the royal houses of Russia and Poland insisted on carrying on their business in French rather than their respective national languages because, again, they didn’t want their populaces to stick their snotty noses into affairs of state.

And keep in mind that for most of the last 500 years, the Roman Catholic Church insisted its members not read the Bible since only its priests could be trusted to understand it.

Throughout human history words have divided as much as they’ve united.

One of the most baffling words imaginable is pedagogy, a fave term of educators. They speak earnestly of pedagogical outcomes, pedagogical methodologies, and, simply, the process of pedagogy.

Pedagogy means teaching.

Teachers teach.

Pedagogues obfuscate.

Royko laid out a list of terms average citizens should learn so that they could “speak like an educator without being educated.”

Pedagogical Legend, Professor Irwin Corey

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Here are some of the terms Royko brought to light:

  • Interdisciplinary
  • Intrapersonal
  • Ontological
  • Attitudinal
  • Multicultural
  • Cognate
  • Conformance
  • Introversion
  • Gestalt
  • Verbalize
  • Facilitate
  • Synthesize
  • Individualize
  • Total modular exchange
  • Vertical team structure
  • Individual horizons

Some of these terms make pedagogy sound as straightforward as the word is. They all come from a careful reading of school memos, education studies, and textbooks done by actual teachers — or, more properly, pedogogic outcome facilitators.

Things haven’t changed much in the 40 years since Royko brought Educatorese to the public eye.

Students still drop out of high school in this holy land at an unconscionable rate. Many big city school systems are still viewed as boondoggles.

And pedagogical savants still run our school systems.

▲

SCHOOL DAYS

Probably the coolest girl band ever, the Runaways.

▲

07/18/2012
Leave a comment
Al Yellon, Aroldis Chapman, Baseball, Bleed Cubbie Blue, CNN, Drought, Hiroshima, His Girl Friday, Muhammad Ali, NPR, Nuclear Weapons, Physics, Qsymia, Regina Moore, Speed of Light, XKCD

The Pencil Today:

✍

THE QUOTE

“I’m so fast that last night I turned off the light switch in my hotel room and was in bed before the room was dark.” — Muhammad Ali

♢

BOOM!

I love science and I love baseball. So what could be better than this recent edition of “What If?” (h/t to Al Yellon at Bleed Cubbie Blue.)

“WI?” is a weekly feature of the very cool XKCD site. It is described thusly: “Answering your hypothetical questions with physics, every Tuesday.”

Sort of a super-brain’s New York Times Science Tuesday.

So, this week’s hypothetical is “What would happen if you tried to hit a baseball pitched at 90% the speed of light?”

Not Even The Cuban Missile, Aroldis Chapman, Can Throw That Fast

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As you know, the speed of light is unimaginably fast, almost as fast as Regina Moore‘s crew of  parking ticket scribblers (and, yeah, I’m sitting on a double-sawbuck scold slip from Friday, so that’s why the Moore Militia is on my mind.)

Anyway, you couldn’t begin to guess what would happen in such a hyper-fastball scenario unless you’d spent the last 15 years of your life holed up working out ciphers and avoiding any meaningful contact with the opposite sex.

Suffice it to say if a human baseball pitcher had the physical capability to accelerate an approximately 3-inch-diameter spheroid made of horsehide wrapped around coiled yarn centered on a cork core to a velocity of around 167,653.8 miles per hour (the speed of light, c, times .9), the immediate vicinity around the pitcher’s mound and batter’s box would be transformed indeed.

As in, oh, say, Hiroshima at 8:16 am, August 6th, 1945.

Hit By Pitch, Batter Entitled To First Base

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The happy news is the team at bat now has a rally going.

Who sez science isn’t fun?

♢

KEEPING IN TOUCH

Am I gonna have to make this a regular feature?

Last week I ran a screed about the gossipy, reality-show-like news that CNN has been foisting upon the public during these momentous times.

Wars, the potential for economic collapse, dramatic global climate change events, and even the political fight over women’s wombs all seem to be below-the-fold fodder for cable TV’s most venerable news outfit.

Yeah, It’s Dry — Hey, Did That Magazine Really Photoshop Kate Middleton?

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At the time, I didn’t think CNN’s editorial choices could get any more ludicrous.

I was wrong.

These are among the most important happenings and issues on planet Earth within the last 24 hours, according to the Cable News Network of Atlanta, USA:

  • Billionaire’s son charged in wife’s death
  • Shark attacks: Is “Jaws” back?
  • Mash up: Jealousy in time of drought
  • Obamas find spotlight on “kiss cam”
  • New diet drug approved by FDA
  • Car falls into elevator shaft
  • Sex with ex helps her lose weight
  • It may be OK to get sick in July
  • Bobcat breaks into prison
  • Michael Vick: I won’t get a pit bull
  • Tattoos: How young is too young?
  • Stunt driver’s video goes viral
  • Parents, let your kids play
  • Daughter’s in love, Dad feels jilted

Now not only are CNN’s stories vacuous, they’re getting downright creepy. I mean, honestly, “Dad feels jilted”?

Sorta reminds me of Cary Grant as the newspaper publisher Walter Burns, shouting orders on the phone to his editors in “His Girl Friday.” (Please click — it’s the entire movie.)

✍

No, no, never mind the Chinese earthquake for heaven’s sake….

Look, I don’t care if there’s a million dead….

No, no, junk the Polish Corridor….

Take all those Miss America pictures off Page Six….

Take Hitler and stick him on the funny page….

No, no, leave the rooster story alone — that’s human interest.

Of course, that was farce. How, then, to describe CNN?

♢

BIG NEWS

Huzzah. Three cheers. Science has developed yet another weight-loss drug.

Just in case you’re tempted to swallow it, take some advice from a man whose girth rivals that of a cement mixer.

Hi!

✍

The only “secret” for losing weight is eat less and exercise more.

End of sermon.

♢

“WASN’T THAT A PERFECT, PERFECT SHOT!”

Finally, speaking of things that go boom, wait’ll you see this vid.

Apparently, the government of this holy land became concerned in the 1950s about the citizenry’s troublesome fears of nuclear annihilation. And, if we weren’t experiencing existential angst over the end of civilization, we were fretting at the very least that a nearby nuclear explosion might muss up our hair.

Ergo, the feds put together some propaganda to dispel such silly talk.

Like this:

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Yup. The five knuckleheads clustered underneath the unleashing of the primal forces of the universe actually volunteered to do so. As in, “Sure, I’ll do it. Why not?”

Presumably, they kissed their wives and children goodbye before they dashed off to work that day.

Of even greater fascination is the reaction of the voiceover announcer, who also was present. I’d swear the man is experiencing an orgasm.

♢

✍

Electron Pencil event listings: Music, art, movies, lectures, parties, receptions, games, benefits, plays, meetings, fairs, conspiracies, rituals, etc.

◗ IU Dowling International Center — English Conversation Club, for non-native speakers of American English; 1pm

◗ Monroe County Public Library — “It’s Your Money: Wi$eMoney Game Night,” for ages 15-18; 6:30-8:30pm

◗ IU Musical Arts Center — Summer Arts Festival: Outdoor band concert with conductor Stephen Pratt; 7pm

◗ Max’s Place — Open mic; 7:30pm

◗ IU Wells-Metz Theatre — Musical, “You Can’t Take It with You”; 7:30pm

◗ The Player’s Pub — Stardusters; 7:30pm

◗ The Comedy Attic — Bloomington Comedy Festival; 8pm

◗ Boys & Girls Club of Bloomington — Contra dancing; 8pm

◗ The Bluebird — The Personnel; 9pm

◗ Bear’s Place — You & All the Blind People; 9pm

◗ The Bishop — Murals, The Natives, Chandelier Ballroom; 9pm

◗ IU Kirkwood Observatory — Free public viewing through the main telescope; 10pm

Ongoing:

◗ Ivy Tech Waldron Center — Exhibits:

  • John D. Shearer, “I’m Too Young For This  @#!%”; through July 30th
  • Claire Swallow, ‘Memoir”; through July 28th
  • Dale Gardner, “Time Machine”; through July 28th
  • Sarah Wain, “That Takes the Cake”; through July 28th
  • Jessica Lucas & Alex Straiker, “Life Under the Lens — The Art of Microscopy”; through July 28th

◗ IU Art Museum — Exhibits:

  • Qiao Xiaoguang, “Urban Landscape: A Selection of Papercuts” ; through August 12th
  • “A Tribute to William Zimmerman,” wildlife artist; through September 9th
  • Willi Baumeister, “Baumeister in Print”; through September 9th
  • Annibale and Agostino Carracci, “The Bolognese School”; through September 16th
  • “Contemporary Explorations: Paintings by Contemporary Native American Artists”; through October 14th
  • David Hockney, “New Acquisitions”; through October 21st
  • Utagawa Kuniyoshi, “Paragons of Filial Piety”; through fall semester 2012
  • Julia Margaret Cameron, Edward Weston, & Harry Callahan, “Intimate Models: Photographs of Husbands, Wives, and Lovers”; through December 31st
  • “French Printmaking in the Seventeenth Century”; through December 31st

◗ IU SoFA Grunwald Gallery — Exhibits:

  • Kinsey Institute Juried Art Show; through July 21st
  • Bloomington Photography Club Annual Exhibition; July 27th through August 3rd

◗ IU Kinsey Institute Gallery — “Ephemeral Ink: Selections of Tattoo Art from the Kinsey Institute Collection”; through September 21st

◗ IU Lilly Library — Exhibit, “Translating the Canon: Building Special Collections in the 21st Century”; through September 1st

◗ IU Mathers Museum of World Cultures — Closed for semester break

◗ Monroe County History Center — Exhibits:

  • “What Is Your Quilting Story?”; through July 31st
  • Photo exhibit, “Bloomington: Then and Now” by Bloomington Fading; through October 27th

♢

07/11/2012
3 Comments
Celebrity Biographies, CNN, Death Panels, Katie Holmes, Mike Royko, Shark Attacks, Tom Cruise, Walmart

The Pencil Today:

✍

THE QUOTE

“It’s much harder to be a liberal than a conservative. Why? Because it’s easier to give someone the finger than a helping hand.” — Mike Royko

♢

ALL THE NEWS THAT FITS

Death Panels. Sharks. Tom and Katie’s divorce.

These are merely three of the most-followed stories of the last couple of years, brought to you by a fantastically wired, ultra hi-tech, 24-hour-a-day news media. We have the potential to be the most informed society in the history of the human race.

And we are — at least when it comes to things like death panels, sharks, and Tom and Katie’s divorce.

✍

I don’t believe in conspiracies and secret cabals who force legislation and information upon us to satisfy their nefarious ends.

Nope. I believe we get precisely what we want.

And we want death panels, sharks, and Tom and Katie’s divorce.

To wit: CNN.com runs a little list of headlines on the upper right of their site. They call it “This Just In.” Clearly, the editors believe this is what you and I want to know about right now. Today at 7:00am, for example, there were 24 headlines in the list.

In a world of seven billion souls, there must be enough news to fill hundreds or even thousands of such lists. War. Plague. Revolution. Disease. Floods. Scientific advances. Innovative cures. Spectacular achievements.

Man, I don’t know how CNN.com’s editors do it. But they do and here’s how they did it today:

  • Heiress found dead; husband arrested
  • Denise Rich renounces US citizenship

Denise Rich Doesn’t Want To Be One Of Us Anymore

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  • Police: Mom dumps disabled daughter
  • She sneaks off to get contraception
  • Japan’s rare baby panda dies
  • Wild raccoons attack dog-walker

Take Cover!

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  • Odor diverts flight, sickens plane crew
  • Usher’s former stepson seriously hurt
  • Sexual predators on cruise ships?
  • He lost 200 lbs. to join the Army
  • Woodchuck steals cemetery flag

So, of the two dozen most important up-to-the-minute developments in the endeavors of the species Homo Sapiens sapiens, fully eleven of them — or 46 percent –are blather.

You want it? You got it.

♢

GREAT LIVES

Let’s stay on a roll. Consider some of the biographies, autobiographies, and memoirs penned about celebrities of late.

Keep in mind that writers had to be hired and trees felled so that these literary gems could come into being. Fleets of trucks and ships were chartered to transport these weighty tomes to the racks of your fave Walmart.

Millions — nay, billions — of dollars, euros, pesos, yuans etc. were spent so that our brothers and sisters around the world might know the truths contained within these books.

And now, the list:

  • “Losing It: And Gaining My Life Back One Pound at a Time” by Valerie Bertinelli
  • “Wake Up, I’m Fat!” by Camryn Manheim

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  • “Goldie” A Lotus Grows in the Mud” by Goldie Hawn
  • “Chyna: If Only They Knew” by Chyna and Michael Angeli
  • “Up Till Now” by William Shatner and David Fisher
  • “On the Couch” by Lorraine Bracco
  • “Pam: The Life Loves of Pamela Anderson” by the National Enquirer
  • “Kenny & Julia Loggins’ Recipe for Lasting Love (and Summer Salad)” by Suzanne Gerber

BTW: They’re Now Divorced

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  • “By All Means Keep on Moving” by Marilu Henner
  • “There and Back Again: An Actor’s Tale” by Sean Astin and Joe Layden
  • “The Dead Celebrity Cookbook: A Resurrection of Recipes from More Than 145 Stars of Stage and Screen” by Frank DeCaro
  • “Johnny Depp: The Illustrated Biography” by Nick Johnstone
  • “Does the Noise in My Head Bother You?: A Rock ‘n’ Roll Memoir” by Steven Tyler
  • “The Long Hard Road Out of Hell” by Marilyn Manson
  • “How I Got This Way” by Regis Philbin

Regis

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  • “Wrestling the Hulk: My Life Against the Ropes” by Linda Hogan
  • “Never Say Never: Finding a Life That Fits” by Ricki Lake
  • “No Regrets” by Ace Frehley
  • “Makeup to Breakup: My Life In and Out of Kiss” by Peter Criss and Larry Sloman
  • “Gene Simmons: A Rock ‘Roll Journey in the Shadow of the Holocaust” by Ross Berg
  • “The Eric Carr Story” by Greg Prato

Literary Lions

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And what better way to conclude this august list than with four — count ’em, four! — bios of all the members of Kiss.

Happy reading!

♢

✍

Electron Pencil event listings: Music, art, movies, lectures, parties, receptions, games, benefits, plays, meetings, fairs, conspiracies, rituals, etc.

◗ IU Dowling International Center — English Conversation Club, for non-native speakers of American English; 1pm

◗ IU Musical Arts Center Lawn — Summer Music Series: band concert with David C. Woodley & Stephen W. Pratt, conductors (if rain, concert will be moved indoors); 7pm

◗ Max’s Place — Open mic; 7:30pm

◗ The Comedy Attic — Bloomington Comedy Festival; 8pm

◗ Boys & Girls Club of Bloomington — Contra dancing; 8-10:30pm

◗ IU Auer Hall — Summer Music Series: Festival Chamber Players, works by Moszkowski, Turina, and Brahms; 8pm

◗ The Bishop — VonVolsung Sisters; 9pm

The VonVolsung Sisters

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◗ The Bluebird — Almost Famous; 9pm

◗ IU Kirkwood Observatory — Open house, public viewing through the main telescope; 10pm

◗ Uncle Elizabeth’s — Boys on Poles, male exotic dancers; 10pm & midnight

Ongoing:

◗ Ivy Tech Waldron Center — Exhibits:

  • John D. Shearer, “I’m Too Young For This  @#!%”; through July 30th
  • Claire Swallow, ‘Memoir”; through July 28th
  • Dale Gardner, “Time Machine”; through July 28th
  • Sarah Wain, “That Takes the Cake”; through July 28th
  • Jessica Lucas & Alex Straiker, “Life Under the Lens — The Art of Microscopy”; through July 28th

◗ IU Art Museum — Exhibits:

  • Qiao Xiaoguang, “Urban Landscape: A Selection of Papercuts” ; through August 12th
  • “A Tribute to William Zimmerman,” wildlife artist; through September 9th
  • Willi Baumeister, “Baumeister in Print”; through September 9th
  • Annibale and Agostino Carracci, “The Bolognese School”; through September 16th
  • “Contemporary Explorations: Paintings by Contemporary Native American Artists”; through October 14th
  • David Hockney, “New Acquisitions”; through October 21st
  • Utagawa Kuniyoshi, “Paragons of Filial Piety”; through fall semester 2012
  • Julia Margaret Cameron, Edward Weston, & Harry Callahan, “Intimate Models: Photographs of Husbands, Wives, and Lovers”; through December 31st
  • “French Printmaking in the Seventeenth Century”; through December 31st

◗ IU SoFA Grunwald Gallery — Exhibits:

  • Kinsey Institute Juried Art Show; through July 21st
  • Bloomington Photography Club Annual Exhibition; July 27th through August 3rd

◗ IU Kinsey Institute Gallery — “Ephemeral Ink: Selections of Tattoo Art from the Kinsey Institute Collection”; through September 21st

◗ IU Lilly Library — Exhibit, “Translating the Canon: Building Special Collections in the 21st Century”; through September 1st

◗ IU Mathers Museum of World Cultures — Closed for semester break

◗ Monroe County History Center — Exhibits:

  • “What Is Your Quilting Story?”; through July 31st
  • Photo exhibit, “Bloomington: Then and Now” by Bloomington Fading; through October 27th

♢

05/29/2012
Leave a comment
Alan K. Simpson, American Grown, Cannibalism, CNN, Conspiracy Theory, Fareed Zakaria, Harvest for the World, Isley Brothers, John F. Kennedy, Lauren Spierer, Lee Harvey Oswald, Michelle Obama, Racism, Rush Limbaugh, Viral Video

The Pencil Today:

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THE QUOTE

“If you want to be a purist, go somewhere on a mountaintop and praise the east or something. But if you want to be in politics, you learn to compromise. And you learn to compromise without compromising yourself. Show me a guy who won’t compromise and I’ll show you a guy with rock for brains.” — former Wyoming Senator Alan Simpson

♢

WILL YOU BE MY HERO, PLEASE?

How about that Alan K. Simpson?

The old bird who used to be a demi-villain to liberals back in the ’80s is now a darling of the left set because he tongue-lashed his fellow Republicans over the weekend.

Simpson appeared on CNN with Fareed Zakaria Sunday and called GOP legislators’ anti-tax intransigence “madness.”

Anti-Tax-ists

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Just goes to show how far we liberals and progressives have fallen when we have nobody to idolize but Republicans who occasionally say something that makes sense.

Simpson, by the way, says only a combination of solutions can revitalize the economy. That includes higher taxes for some Americans.

♢

GO!

Click this logo for the Pencil’s events listing, the best in Bloomington, natch:

♢

FACE TIME

I’m the most curious guy you can imagine (and that’s true on a number of levels.) But there are certain things I don’t need to see or know.

One of them is the video of the cops shooting that crazy nude man who was eating the face of another man.

Here’s A Pretty Cardinal

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In fact, that’s all I know about the story. I fear that if I click on any of the articles about it, I’ll see too much.

There’s nothing more I need to know about it.

♢

UNHAPPY ANNIVERSARIES

Get ready for the flood of stories on the one-year anniversary of the disappearance of IU student Lauren Spierer.

Profit-driven media is big on anniversaries. I look at it as lazy journalism.

If you think the Spierer anniversary will be bad, just wait until November, 2013. That’ll mark the 50th anniversary of the JFK assassination.

He Did It, Okay? Can We Move On Now?

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Oh, and steel yourself for yet another wave of conspiracy books, documentaries, and articles.

♢

VEGETABLES ARE SOCIALIST

Michelle Obama’s new book comes out today. “American Grown: The Story of the White House Kitchen Garden and Gardens Across America” recounts the story of her White House garden.

✍

Which reminds me that the unimaginably bizarre Rush Limbaugh raked her over the coals last fall for her garden.

“We do not like being told that we can only eat what’s in her garden,” he ranted on his radio show, which is listened to by tens of millions of mammals daily.

BTW: he also called her “uppity” once. But neither he nor his listeners are racists. How do I know? They say so — when they’re not busy calling a professional woman who happens to have dark skin “uppity.”

Sometimes I just want to scream.

♢

HARVEST FOR THE WORLD

I don’t remember if I’ve posted this song before but no matter, it’s worth hearing again.

The beauty of this Isley Brothers tune is that, while acknowledging that things are largely going all to hell, there is always hope. Every time I hear it, this song makes me think of morning.

♢

02/17/2012
2 Comments
Amy Winehouse, Anthony Bourdain, Boice Tomlin, Book Corner, CNN, Darrell Issa, Eric Ripert, Etta James, Foster Friess, Groucho Marx, Hugh Hefner, IDS, IU Auditorium, Monsanto, Playboy After Dark, Soma Coffee, Steve Llewellyn, Tomas "Quorthon" Forsberg, Uncategorized, Whitney Houston

The Pencil Today:

✍

THE QUOTE

“I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go in the other room and read a book.” — Julius Marx

♢

THE BOYS OF SOMA WAKE UP

Believe it or not, the hairy men who inhabit Soma Coffee occasionally can form full and complete sentences before they’ve even finished their first cups of the life-giving substance.

Videographer Steve Llewellyn told us he lucked into a ducat for the Bourdain/Ripert gabfest last night at the IU Auditorium.

Bourdain

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“I never really knew that much about him but he was hilarious. I had no idea — ‘Some guy’s talking about food, wow’,” Llewellyn says. “He had a lot to say about vegetarians. He said what you ought to do is cook bacon in front of a vegetarian. ‘Bacon is the gateway protein’.”

Tyler Ferguson (a member of the Boys of Soma Women’s Auxiliary) was at the “Good Versus Evil: An Evening with Anthony Bourdain and Eric Ripert” show as well. “Didja hear when he mentioned Monsanto and people booed? The first person down in front who started the booing? That was me,” she said.

Ripert

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After delivering his report, Llewellyn flipped open the IDS. Computer genius and web developer Boise Tomlin couldn’t help but comment.

Noticing that the news section of the paper carried quite a few column inches of sports-related gibberish, Tomlin opined, “Look at this. This daily newspaper has an entire section dedicated to sports. Half the paper is sports. And yet they still have sports stuff in what should be the news section. That’s ridiculous.”

Amen.

Speaking of non-news news, when I clicked onto the CNN website this AM, I noticed yet another three separate stories about the death of Whitney Houston.

I’ve been holding my tongue for nearly a week now.

In fact, I bit my tongue so hard on Facebook Sunday that I’m still tasting blood.

✍

No more.

I was dying to say Sunday that the whole Whitney Houston mourning thing is way over the top, no?

I mean, really, when was the last time any of these people who are so all broken up over her demise actually listened to her music? And if they did listen to her music, didn’t they hear one of the most annoying hit songs ever? That is “I Will Always Love You“?

Honestly, did she not have any other way of conveying emotion in a song other than to up her voice volume to eleven?

All I knew of Whitney Houston was that she sang a lot of boring stuff white people liked and that she had a lot of trouble with substances. Ergo, her untimely death was no surprise to me. How could it have been a surprise to anyone else?

Perhaps it was the timing of her death, coming on the heels of the check-outs of Amy Winehouse and Etta James. People love the idea that things happen in threes (although they don’t — it’s really only our human need to see patterns even when there aren’t any). The Winehouse and James deaths were met with real outpourings of emotion, considering they were, well, true creative artists.

Have you seen this image floating around the interwebs these days?

✍

So, it’s not that I have anything against Whitney Houston. She was a terrific singer, albeit one I never cared to listen to. But my preferences aren’t the sacred arbiter of what’s art and what’s not.

No, my quibble is with the folks who are trying to elevate her to some kind of weird martyrdom.

That’s all.

♢

BIG MIKE’S SHELF

We’re trying a little something new down at the Book Corner these days. We’re dedicating a shelf for a week or so to each of our august literary sales drones so they can display their fave tomes.

Well, whaddya know, I’m the first vict…, er, choice. Here are my books for the week (or until somebody feels ambitious enough to put up a new shelf):

Made In America, by Bill Bryson

A People’s History of the United States, by Howard Zinn

The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, by Mark Twain

Nickel and Dimed: On (Not) Getting By in America, by Barbara Ehrenreich

J. Edgar Hoover: A Graphic Biography, by Rick Geary

The Complete Persepolis, by Marjane Satrapi

The Elements: A Visual Exploration of Every Known Atom in the Universe, by Theodore Gray

In Cold Blood, by Truman Capote

Einstein: His Life and Universe, by Walter Isaacson

Surely You’re Joking, Mr Feynman: Adventures of a Curious Character, by Richard Feynman

Read. That’s an order.

♢

HE-E-E-E-E-E-E-ERE’S TYLER!

Now then. Speaking of the one-of-a-kind Tyler Ferguson, she’s making big plans for the spring.

She’s got this crazy idea that she wants to produce a Bloomington-oriented TV talk show. The host, natch, would be none other than one Tyler Ferguson.

Yup.

It will be modeled after the legendary late-night talk show, “Playboy After Dark,” hosted by Hugh Hefner back in the 1960s.

Jerry Lewis, Sammy Davis Jr., Anthony Newley, and your host, Hugh Hefner

✍

Tyler wants to call her show “Nightcap.”

She plans to tape the pilot in her living room with a live audience comprised of invited friends. The idea, according to the aspiring TV mogul, is the thing’ll be a party and throughout the evening, a lineup of guests will appear. Bloomington, Tyler reasons, is chock full of musicians, authors, poets, singers, comedians, and others. They’ll be interviewed by Tyler in the usual desk-and-couch set-up.

Ferguson already has her video director set up as well as her very own sidekick. And guess who that sidekick will be. Yep, this guy, Big Mike, president and chief executive officer of the international communications colossus, The Electron Pencil.

My Dream Job: Second Banana

✍

Tyler banged away on her laptop this morning, taking notes on the show idea. The idea’s been floating around in her fertile cranium for a few weeks now. She expects it to run on You Tube and hopes to be able to secure a timeslot on CATS.

This thing just might be for real. Tyler already has set up one sponsor for the show, a start-up brewery  that’ll supply the booze for the party.

Look for a late May/early June release of the pilot.

♢

A WOMAN’S PLACE

Apparently the ideas of women are pretty much irrelevant to the blowhard who’s running Congressional hearings on contraception, religious myth organizations, and the Obama administration’s new rules on health care coverage.

You know, it wasn’t too long ago that Rep. Darrell Issa (R-CA) was considered just another loon in the GOP’s (POG’s?) stable of putative primates in Congress. Now, he’s chair of the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform.

“No Girls Allowed!”

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And whaddya expect from the Party O’god? Have you caught the video of that human-impersonator on MSNBC last night who said things were so much simpler back in his day: women simply squeezed an aspirin between their knees to avoid getting pregnant.

This unindicted moral felon, a fellow named Foster Friess, doesn’t like the idea of women having sex. He’s a billionaire, so his “thoughts” carry weight in this holy land.

“Y’see, I’m Obscenely Rich And You’re Not.”

✍

It occurs to me that these god-groupies who are so freaked over contraception really don’t need women. Females are so troublesome, after all. So I have a solution to all their problems. Here’s a partner that won’t file a paternity suit against you or demand birth control pills or even talk back when you just want to roll over and fall asleep the way the creator intended a man to act.

(I’d have posted a picture of the product here but — here’s a shocker — I thought it might be more prudent not to. You’ll just have to click on the link.)

I propose nominating the above-mentioned product as Mrs. Republican USA for the year 2012 — and for all the years thereafter!

♢

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