"The blog has made Glab into a hip town crier, commenting on everything from local politics and cultural happenings to national and international events, all rendered in a colorful, intelligent, working-class vernacular that owes some of its style to Glab’s Chicago-hometown heroes Studs Terkel and Mike Royko." — David Brent Johnson in Bloom Magazine
The Loved One was up almost all night earlier this week designing our 2014-15 holiday card. Her cards, in case you’ve never seen one, are whimsically creative. For my money, they’re the best.
A Little Taste
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We don’t send holiday cards to many people largely because I’m a Grinch and won’t turn over to her any list of people I like. But those we do send them to uniformly are impressed by TLO’s eye and sensibility.
I dunno, maybe I’ll pitch some names and addresses over to her this year — not because I’m becoming less of a winter holiday curmudgeon but because more people should see her great stuff.
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Teach Your Children Well
So, the Monroe County Community School Corporation just laid out forty G’s for a consultant to figure out if voters might pass a referendum to help the MCCSC get more money.
What else can the MCCSC buy for $40,000? Let’s see:
166 iPad Minis
3333 Social studies textbooks, Amazing Americans: The Rise of Industry: Jane Adams, McGraw-Hill
4449 Copies, To Kill a Mockingbird, Grand Central Publishing
7286 Boxes, Crayola Crayons, 64-count
7421 Mead composition books, tape-bound
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13,652 Free student lunches provided by the US Dept. of Agriculture, Food & Nutrition Service, under its National School Lunch Program
The MCCSC, though, has elected to direct a precious wad of 40-extra large to the coffers of Springsted, Inc., “a public sector advisor with services spanning every stage of your community’s life cycle” (from its website), to gauge the odds of getting more money from you and me.
Money, I might add, I’d be happy to pay for things like, oh, pencils, books, or iPads. In fact, I’d be happy to pony up scads more dough for the kids and their teachers. It can be money well spent.
Not on slick consultants, though.
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Who Needs Books?
Speaking of education, a recent poll commissioned by the BioLogos Foundation and conducted by Calvin College sociologist Jonathan Hill, have found that more than half the citizens of this holy land believe:
Adam and Eve were real people
Evolution, Creationism, and Intelligent Design should be taught in public schools
The Bible is the actual or inspired word of God, without errors
Where’s Your Certainty Now, Moses?
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A full one of five people believe Creationism alone should be taught in our schools.
Slate mag requested Hill’s numbers breakdown for this poll and lays out the details in a piece written by William Saletan. It turns out that when people are pressed on these beliefs they shy away from them a bit. When specific questions about creation and God’s role in it are included in the questions posed to poll respondents, people’s certainty in their beliefs begins to deteriorate.
This reminds me of all those polls that ask Americans if welfare is a good thing and most of them say hell no. Then, when pressed — for instance when asked if federal and state gov’ts should assist the hungry and the homeless — people suddenly become more altruistic.
The devil, you might pardon the pun, is in the details.
“Yes, we’re a creationist country,” Saletan concludes. “But apparently, we’re pretty creative about what that means.”
A woman named Karen Ogden, who describes herself as “a part-time writer who works within a variety of communities as part of domestic violence outreach programs,” read one of my screeches about domestic violence and the National Football League. She sends in this communique about Verizon Wireless, one of the NFL’s big ad partners:
Amid all the recent horrific domestic violence reports from the NFL, Verizon Wireless, one of the league’s biggest partners, has stepped up to reaffirm its stance on domestic violence: We must all band together to end domestic violence.
The company’s CEO, Lowell McAdam, made it clear in a recent editorial that the real issue at hand is not the image of Verizon or the NFL, but “the scourge of domestic violence itself.” He noted that it’s highly likely that you know someone who have been abused, physically or emotionally, by someone close to them.
According to the Avon Foundation for Women, 60 percent of Americans know someone who has been abused while 22 percent of people are victims themselves. Those staggering statistics only further drive home McAdam’s main point: We need to talk about domestic violence, because that is the only way we can eliminate the culture of denial surrounding the topic.
To help accomplish this goal, Verizon launched a new public awareness campaign this past June called Voices Have Power. You can see it here:
It is an online, social media platform that allows users to send messages of hope to victims of domestic violence. And for every message sent through the service, Verizon will donate $3 to domestic violence prevention organizations throughout the U.S.
If you would like to participate in Voices Have Power, you can do so via text at 94079 or through social media using the hashtag #VoicesHavePower.
Voice Have Power is run through HopeLine (http://www.verizonwireless.com/aboutus/hopeline/index.html), a program started in 1995 to provide domestic violence organizations and shelters with recycled wireless phones and accessories. Victims then receive the refurbished phones with free minutes and texting plans. Since 2001, they have donated more than $21 million in cash grants and 180,000 cell phones.
In honor of Domestic Violence Awareness Month, can you help spread the word about the #VoicesHavePower fund raising campaign? Every message shared provides hope for victims and is $3 raised for domestic violence prevention.
Thank you so much!
Sincerely,
Karen
Generally, I don’t pay attention to companies trying to burnish their images through supposed community awareness programs but, oh, I dunno, maybe I’m feeling generous this AM.
Again I’ll remind you, if you hear what sounds like a violent domestic disturbance, drop a dime. If you’re wrong, so what? Also, if you know of somebody who slugs a lover, a wife, a daughter, or anybody of any sex just so he can get his way, shun the hell out of him. And don’t bug me with bushwa about how there are men out there who get beaten by their female partners. That’s misdirection, folks. Domestic violence is a guy thing. Guys have muscles; women are taught to blame themselves for “misunderstandings.” It’s a lousy equation that harms and even enslaves far too many females.
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The Right To Be Wrong
Now comes news that one of those weird fundamentalist theme parks wants the Commonwealth of Kentucky to foot a multimillion-dollar chunk of the bill to operate its fabrication machine.
Yeah, some joint under construction called Ark Encounter and run by the Answers in Genesis cult wants KY to give it an $18 million tax break so it can spread its bizarre mythology. AiG also runs the Creation Museum, across the Ohio River from Cincinnati and, in general, tells the world that scientists are wrong and the Bible, word-for-word, is right. The whole shebang is overseen by a zealot named Ken Ham, which is ironic because of the biblical injunction against eating pork.
Ken Ham
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Anyway, AiG somehow snookered Kentucky officials to approve a hefty tax break for them which, a cursory understanding of the US Constitution indicates, violates the Establishment Clause. Ark Encounter is under construction in Williamstown, near the Petersburg home of the Creation Museum.
As you can imagine, the tax break raised a frightful din among church/state separationists and civil liberties fans. Next thing you know, Kentucky officials withdrew their break. Now AiG is claiming it has a First Amendment right to the tax break. See, the outfit is only trying to exercise its free speech rights and the Commonwealth, by denying the tax break is crushing its voice. Like the Nazis did. And Stalin. And what the hell do you expect in a nation now run by a Nazi/Stalinist/Kenyan phony president?
Me? I don’t care what these religious fanatics believe. They have every right in the world to have faith that the sun will rise in the west tomorrow morning. But if they’re looking for any federal, state, or municipal dough to spread their speciousness, they’ll hear from me and a lot of others like me.
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Enemies?
How does the above entry fit in with yesterday’s sermon here about how we all — Right and Left, Democrat and Republican, believer and non-believer — should stop seeing each other as mortal enemies out to destroy our beloved nation as well as civilization itself?
Nowadays, Everybody Is Hitler
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Pretty well, I’d say, with a bit of explanation. Neither President Barack Obama nor Governor Mike Pence are fascists intent on crushing all our hopes and dreams. Now, I disagree with pretty much everything Mike Pence stands for, sure. I wouldn’t vote for him if he were running against Justin Bieber (I just wouldn’t show up on election day — and, BTW, how prescient will I seem if and when JB ever runs for public office? You think it couldn’t happen? Are you new to America?)
Anyway, guys like Pence have what I consider to be a misguided faith in free market capitalism. The Invisible Hand makes about as much sense to me as an invisible father in the sky. Pence wants, I’m sure, all the homeless to have homes, all the uninsured to get medical care, and all god’s children to be able to vote. But only after those who have get even more — so much more that letting a little bit trickle down to the have-nots isn’t going to affect them one way or the other.
Funny thing is, Barack Obama’s worldview isn’t all that terribly far off from Pence’s. Yet too many in the Pence crowd still see Obama as the bastard child of Angela Davis and Fidel Castro. No matter, my non-vote for Pence and others like him does not infer that I view him and his gang as the spiritual brothers of Heinrich Himmler.
I merely disagree with them.
Now then, what about my snarky, disrespectful, insulting take on people like Ken Ham? Why won’t I embrace him and tell him he’s my brother? For the same reason I don’t embrace the guy walking the streets who, interspersed with random obscenities, is shouting about people following him and how all woman are whores. I may wish him well; I may hope his derangement is ameliorated one day. But I’m not going to say to him, “I respect your opinion, my good man.”
His opinion deserves no respect. Nor does Ken Ham’s.
“Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.” — Robert A. Heinlein
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A NOTE TO MY READERS
If I seem a little cynical today (okay, a lot cynical) don’t blame me. I’m only the messenger.
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MEET YOUR BOSS
Make no mistake now. There is no longer any argument.
This holy land is not led by a president or a Senate or House. Nor is it run by Democrats or Republicans. Not even the combined forces of the Army, Navy, Air Force, and Marines rival the most powerful entity in the United States today.
Kids Stuff
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These Great United States, Inc. are ruled by the investment banking firm and criminal enterprise known as Goldman Sachs.
And that would make the emperor of this nominal democratic republic an unindicted hoodlum by the name of Lloyd Blankfein.
See, Goldman Sachs had been engaged in the selling of subprime mortgage securities for years, earnings ungodly amounts of money. Only Blankfein’s syndicate then went out and bet against the performance of those securities.
In other words, Goldman Sachs sold its clients — including retirement funds, states and municipalities, hospitals, and the like — a pile of shit and then went out and set up a sham insurance safety net protecting itself against the shit smears that would inevitably follow.
The original “Mob” used to have this scam down to an art. A couple of crooked-nosed Charlies would visit a restaurant owner and advise him he needed “insurance” should, god forbid, anything calamitous happen.
Aw, D’at’s Too Bad. Y’See What Can Happen?
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The only flaw in the Mob’s plan was its inability to hold off the dogs of justice indefinitely. By and by, some squeaky clean prosecutor would slap the bracelets on the big boys and their underbosses.
But Lloyd Blankfein won’t be a guest of the state any time soon. In fact. the state is now his guest.
This is, after all, his country. Lock, stock, and barrel.
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PROBLEM SOLVED
You know how Barack Obama is a socialist? And the Clintons before him?
Real red-underwear-wearing types, right?
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At least that’s what the Right would have us believe.
So why is it that the number of people receiving cash assistance from government social welfare programs has fallen a full two-thirds since Bill Clinton’s 1996 welfare reform? And the number of American families who get government subsidies for trivial things like food and heat has fallen by a half?
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The answer, if you believe the Right, is they’ve all gone from the lazy poor to the self-sufficient middle class. Because, after all, it was their own fault they were poor.
The great thing about living in these United States is the fact that we don’t need complicated solutions to baffling problems. The answers, my fellow citizens, are simple.
Oops. I mean simplistic.
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ANOTHER SIGN OF THE COMING APOCALYPSE
Everybody and anybody who had a hand in making this monstrosity a reality should have the living shit kicked out of them:
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This is the brand spankin’ new high school football stadium in Allen, Texas.
You read right: High-freaking-school.
The new home of the Allen Eagles cost $60M. It seats 18,000. It has a 75×45-foot video screen scoreboard.
The story about this crime against humanity in Time magazine’s online newsfeed quotes some little bastard defensive back as saying, “We just have to [be] blessed and humble and not take it for granted.”
Go Eagles!
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Yeah. Like the god that doesn’t exist gave it to you in lieu of doing anything about the flooding in India.
Texas, by the way, last year cut $5B from the state public schools budget..
Nothin’ like seeing your boy’s cerebrum concussed into so much gray goo down on the field in a shiny new stadium, is there?
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LIFE LESSONS FROM FOOTBALL
Yep. Football’s back.
Remember when Ma & Pa America were all aflutter over teenaged athletes using steroids and human growth hormones to build muscle mass?
The Horror
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Heaven forbid our precious scions should risk the devastating side effects of performance enhancing drugs. Like acne.
No. It’s much better for them to suffer permanent disability due to head injuries suffered on the gridiron.
Oh, and thanks to our changing climate (which, I’d bet, plenty o’Texans think is the liberal bunk anyway) more and more high school football players are suffering serious injury and death from practicing in full pads through the August heat.
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SCIENCE TAKES ANOTHER HIT
We don’t have cable anymore at Chez Big Mike but if we did, Animal Planet would be on all the time. The Loved One digs critters and I’m partial to two or three species myself.
The bad news is, Animal Planet is slipping and sliding away from real animals this coming season and becoming more about, well, bullshit.
Two of the cable networks big shows will be “Finding Bigfoot” and “Mermaid — The Body Found.”
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According to the Washington Post’s TV columnist Lisa de Moraes, critics pounded Animal Planet reps when the network held its pre-season news conference. One asked if AP “had run out of real animals.”
When it comes to TV, though, no one can argue with the numbers. AP’s audiences love shows about creatures that don’t exist.
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THE POWER OF MYTH
Great. As if I’m not discouraged enough by the direction in which this nation is headed, this poll comes out:
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The site I Fucking Love Science opines: “Well, this is a little bit scary. Come on America, sort it out. You just landed on Mars!”
To borrow a term from the god-fetishists, Amen!
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Here’s how I waste my time. How about you? Share your fave sites with us via the comments section. Just type in the name of the site, not the url; we’ll find them. If we like them, we’ll include them — if not, we’ll ignore them.
