Category Archives: Crimea

Hot Air

At Last

Shout it out: Spring!


Bloom-ing News

Pencillistas, y’all oughtta make sure you pick up a copy of Bloom magazine this coming August. We here at South Central Indiana’s premier communications colossus have heard tell that one of B-town’s most fascinating, suave, sensitive, and drop-dead handsome citizens will be profiled in that issue.



BTW, Bloom‘s August offering is typically one of the mag’s most important editions of the year, considering that’s back-to-campus month. So, scads of folks will be able to learn about this particular man-about-town. Sorry, we’re not at liberty to disclose precisely who that man is at this time.

Please try to be patient; my advice is, live your lives as normal for the next five mos. Trust me, the time will zip by before you know it.

Sorry, Wrong Number

No matter how advanced and/or complicated our communications technology becomes, we still have to untangle age-old mix-ups.


For instance, here’s a snippet from a very urgent Instant Message I received last night:

…I hate to bother you with this, but I need to pick up a box of crickets that came in (they are at the Post Office annex on Vernal Pike), and….

Over the next few moments, I contacted the IM sender and asked, basically, WTF? The communicator in Q. handled the query with poise and aplomb. I learned in our ensuing conversation that said IM-er regularly buys 1000-count boxes of crickets.

A certain pct. of Pencillistas will know who this person is immediately, based on that info alone. I told the person I couldn’t get the picture of a box of a thousand crickets sitting on a table at the PO out of my mind. You may sleep easy tonight; the crickets have been retrieved and are even now being prepared for dinner tonight.

You’re Free To Go; No, Really

Here’s another quick hit: a report on NPR this AM described Crimea as pretty much the Florida of the Black Sea region. Beautiful weather, lots of seafront luxury, tons of retirees. The whole thing made me think: how would we feel if one of our states elected to secede today?

Crimea River?

Say Florida wanted out of this holy land. Would we object enough to want to send the troops in? Would we care? Or would we be happy Sunshine Staters want to live out their inevitably shortened lives gleefully Standing their Ground against each other as a separate nation?

Terry's Texas Rangers

Civil War Combatants Terry’s Texas Rangers, Company C

And if not Florida, then who? My vote goes to Texas. If that holy land within this holy land wanted to secede, I doubt if a single soul outside America’s petro-oligarchy would raise a peep.

Getting Hotter Air

Chit Chat Chit Chat

How about those Roller Mortis Films boys, Chris Rall and Tony Brewer? They just posted the first in their new series of interviews with fascinating B-towners on their YouTube channel.

Between them and my own Big Talk series on WFHB radio and The Ryder magazine, we’ll have the interview racket all sewn up here in So Cen Ind. The Herald Times, the WFIU news dept., and Bloom magazine may as well start handing out severance checks to their unlucky future former employees.

And, of course, there’s plenty o’incestuousness going around inasmuch as the subject of the first Rall/Brewer opus is, well, one Tony Brewer. Who just happens to be the second subject of the Big Talk series, the recording of which I am, as we speak, transcribing and editing. My Brewer interview should air on WFHB within a week or two. So you can grab yourselves a little sneak peek into the life of TB by checking out Roller Mortis’s 3-minute documentary on him. Rall & Brewer are calling their first effort a pilot, so expect their project to grow and evolve as time goes by.

Just like Big Talk.

Broadcast News

So, it’s out. The spanking new WFHB newsletter has hit the stree…, er, actually, the screen. Your computer screen, that is, if you sign up for it.

Firehouse News

Click Image To Subscribe

The first edition of the community radio station‘s latest stab at transparency now exists in the electron-sphere after a whirlwind gestation and birth. Many of Firehouse Broadcasting’s volunteers, donors, sponsors, and listeners found themselves in a tizzy last fall after the WFHB Board of Directors made a controversial choice to replace former General Manager Chad Carrothers. A fellow named Kevin Culbertson from California and other points west and whose resume included involvement with a passel of Christianist media outlets was tabbed to steer the ship into the foreseeable future. But when folks in these parts got wind of his religious programming past and his non-Bloomington-ness, the resultant roar could be heard as far as the Pacific Coast. Culbertson declined to come aboard and the Board faced the angry glares of its aforementioned constituents.

Since then, the Board and the WFHB staff have sworn to high heaven they’ll dedicate themselves to more open proceedings.

Et voila: Firehouse News.

And, yeah, I’m one of the inked-stained wretches who write the thing.

All Clear

Well, now that WWIII isn’t due to break out just yet, we can all get back to worrying about other important things like Matthew McConaughey’s Oscar night acceptance speech or whether Stand Your Ground laws were written by inmates in mental institutions.

Russia’s Vlad Putin is busy zipping up his fly after exposing his titanic phallus to the rest of the world in the Ukraine this past week. He promised this AM that his boys won’t bomb, maim, rape, pillage, and otherwise recreate in the Crimea unless such pastimes are absolutely necessary, a step back from his Rambo stance of several days ago. Phew, now I don’t have to stock up on canned green beans anymore.

Bomb Shelter

Nothing Says Home Like A Fallout Shelter

Meanwhile, remember that Florida woman who fired warning shots at her potentially abusive hubby? A state court judge had ruled that she can’t hide behind the Stand Your Ground laws because, well, she’s black and the imminent danger she faced was coming from her ever-loving husband. And if a man can’t beat his own wife nowadays, then what did our Christianist Founding Fathers fight and die for, huh?


Not White. Not Male. Nobody.

Marissa Alexander faces a retrial that could land her in the joint for up to 60 years now. Those who enjoy sexual relations with their guns are applauding this latest turn of events because, again, Alexander is the wrong color and a wife and what the hell rights do such nobodies have anyway?

As for McConaughey’s speech — I didn’t see it but it’s raised a lot of fuss on the interwebs and, like all ‘net twaddle, will be forgotten by lunch time.

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