Category Archives: Evan Smith

The Pencil Today:

THE QUOTE

“Bunch together a group of people deliberately chosen for strong religious feelings, and you have a practical guarantee of dark morbidities expressed in crime, perversion, and insanity.” — H.P. Lovecraft

CAN THINGS GET ANY CRAZIER?

So, if you live on planet Earth, you’ve heard about the loon who is certain the Girl Scouts are out to destroy this holy land.

Who is Rep. Bob Morris of Fort Wayne? And is he of planet Earth?

First, judging by his picture, one must assume he’s cranky because his hair is on too tight.

Morris Talks With Protesters In The Statehouse Earlier This Year

Relax, pal! Have a vodka and lemonade. Kick your shoes off and put your feet up on the coffee table.

And please, please, stop surfing the interwebs for evidence that the Girl Scouts have been taken over by lesbian Nazis/Mau Maus/Marxists/Satanists. Just trust me on this one — they haven’t been.

They’re the damned Girl Scouts for chrissakes!

I mean, if the Girl Scouts are causing you to wet your pants then you’re just scared, period, and it doesn’t matter who’s doing the scaring

See? Have a drink.

Morris joined the Indiana House, representing District 84, in the summer of 2010. He whomped his Dem opponent in the November election, some poor kid named Evan Smith, a schoolteacher who looked to be about 11 years old, with 68 percent of the vote.

Evan Smith — Spanked By Morris

Morris was selected by a Republican caucus to serve out the final four months of Randy Boror’s term and to be the nominee in the fall election. Boror had quit the statehouse so he could become a lobbyist.

The first-term representative runs a nutrition center called Healthkick.

Morris sent a letter to his statehouse colleagues, dated February 18th, 2012, laying out his problems with the Girl Scouts. The Ft. Wayne Journal Gazette published the letter yesterday and within hours the nation was abuzz.

Here are some of the charges he makes:

  • The Girl Scouts of America funds Planned Parenthood
  • “… abundant evidence proves that the agenda of Planned Parenthood includes sexualizing young girls through the Girl Scouts….”
  • He quotes a Denver bishop as saying the GSA makes girls “more receptive to the pro-abortion agenda.”
  • The GSA trains its leaders to instruct girls to explore various methods of sexuality
  • Many parents are pulling their daughters out of the GSA because the organization promotes lesbianism

Dykes, Sluts, Whores, Etc.

By the way, his sources for these alarming charges? “I did a small amount of web-based research,” he writes.

Among Morris’s sources was World Net Daily, a clearinghouse of information for adults who still are terrified of monsters under the bed.

Morris writes that he’s yanking his daughters out of the Girl Scouts and enrolling them in something called the American Heritage Girls Little Flowers. That’s a Catholic-based group whose member girls are advised that their top aim in life should be purity.

As in sex is icky.

Morris concludes his missive by advising his statehouse mates to think very, very carefully before affixing their signatures to a House proclamation congratulating the Girl Scouts on their 100th anniversary.

Speaking of conclusions, I’ll answer one of the questions I posed at the top of this item. Even though Bob Morris is based in Ft. Wayne, he is not of this Earth.

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