Category Archives: General Motors

Hot Air

Bim Bam Boom

Quick hits today. Enjoy.

❂ As far as I can tell, that Gerber’s Big Mac and Fries baby food dinner that everybody seems up in arms about simply does not exist.

Facebook Meme

Facebook triumphs again over reality.

❂ Alright, let’s assume that this Bowe Bergdahl fellow left his camp for the worst of reasons. That is, he no longer supported the American war effort in Afghanistan and simply decided to desert.

Now, the military pounds it into your head not to quit in an engagement area because your absence can affect the safety of your mates and, from a purely selfish POV, you need to know your mates won’t be there to protect you anymore should you bolt. Simple enough, no?

So, just for argument’s sake, we’ll pretend we can somehow know what was in the mind and heart of the newly-returned POW when he wandered away from his gang some five years ago. Let’s pretend he was no longer loyal to either the American cause or his buddies. So he split.

When the going got rough his pals weren’t there to bail him out. Bergdahl was on his own. And he paid the price. He promptly got caught by the enemy. He was held for half a decade by a bunch of wild-eyed, Duck Dynasty-bearded loons who hate music, women, and the West in no particular order. That’s a significant slice out of anybody’s life.

Berghdahl

Bergdahl In A Taliban Video (Reuters Image)

Do we need to punish him further?

❂ With the success of the Affordable Care Act‘s health insurance exchanges and the knowledge that some 11 to 17 million people in this holy land no longer have to live in mortal fear that they’ll break a leg or pop an appendix lest they be financially ruined, shouldn’t the Democrats this election year be running on Obamacare?

For all his sins, long-ago Mayor Richard J. Daley used to say to rallies of the faithful, “I’m wit’ you.”

Richard J. Daley

Power To Da People

With all 435 House seats up for grabs in November, aspiring Dem congressbeings as well as those hoping to hold on to their sweet seats should be telling the Murrican peeps, “Yep, I’m with you. My party got you health insurance. The other guys not only were dead set against it, they’ve been standing on their heads for four years now trying to take it away from you.”

Then again, no one of late has accused the Democratic Party of being smart.

❂ Speaking of being found guilty, when do we start throwing GM execs in prison for their 13-year delay on recalling cars whose faulty ignition switches have killed dozens?

Totaled Car

GM Exec A: “Golly Gee, Do You Think We Should Recall Our Cars?”

GM Exec B: “Nah. Let’s Wait A While.”

GM Exec A: “Okay. Where Do You Want To Go For lunch?”

That’s the question. The answer, as any sentient watcher of goings on in this holy land well knows, is never. This is America, duh.

❂ So, everybody’s happy now that the Bloomington City Council last night unanimously approved a plan (paywall) that’ll protect our sacred Courthouse Square from the evil empires of McDonald’s, Dunkin’ Donuts, Papa John’s “pizza,” and the terrifying Olive Garden, no?

Now, the only eateries allowed in our picturesque downtown area will be run solely by aproned aunties with flour on their hands. And they’ll occasionally stop by your table to remind you to finish your peas.

That’s what we want, isn’t it?

Only that’s not what we’ve got. The plan is a watered-down version of an earlier proposal that would really have banned Ronald McDonald and his spine-chilling confreres from Corporate Logostan. Our town’s Chamber of Commerce suffered the vapors when Mayor Mark Kruzan’s original reg was under consideration five years ago. The CofC-ers were certain it would be the downfall of Our American Way of Life. Consequently, ixnay on the chain ban.

Now this mighty burgh’s statespeople have drawn up an iron-clad municipal law that’ll require restaurant operators to pass through the gauntlet of the city’s Planning Board. My good god in heaven, chain restaurants’ll have to get a special permit before build on the Square. The stern members of the PB will ensure that proposed edifices, be they chain- or auntie-run, will maintain the Square’s historic character. Like this, for example:

Courthouse Square

Land Sakes! Is This The Year Of Our Lord 1943?

A walk around the square, my friends, is a trip in a time machine.

It’s good to know that when McDonald’s does open up a restaurant on the Square, those Golden Arches will appear just as they did back in the 1920s when the young IU law student Hoagy Carmichael had a hankerin’ for a Sausage, Egg & Cheese McGriddle.

Hot Air

The Big Knife

Last full week before the doctors slice me open and install an electric generator in my chest. They’ll run leads right into my heart so that if said organ decides to go on a drunken bender, the generator’ll shock me with 800 volts and get the ticker back in line, 4/4 beat and all.

Here’s the device:

MG 20140427

I hope it works. Or, better yet, I hope it never has to. We’ll see.

Taking The Blame

So, the S. Korean prime minister handed in his resignation over the capsized ferry that sent some 300 kids and adults to their watery graves.

Imagine that. There exist in this world some nations and societies wherein big shots take the heat for the bad things that happen on their watch.

I realize this is hard for Americans to believe, but in some faraway lands, heads of companies whose fuel depots blow up or whose toxic sludge seeps into the nation’s Capri Sun juice reserves often get sacked or even prosecuted for their misdeeds.

In other words, certain races of humans on this Earth entertain the quaint notion that somebody’s responsible when shit happens.

How odd, no? Here in this holy land, of course, we understand that when a coal company dumps poison into the water supply, well, by golly, that’s merely one of the costs of a free society. Imagine if we blessed Murricans played so fast and loose with the concept of accountability.

Why, our nation’s prisons would be filled to the bursting point with the likes of the CEOs of BP, Transocean and Halliburton, the managers of Freedom Industries, the former decision makers at General Motors, the bosses at West Fertilizer Company, and many other wealthy white folks. Why, in our Murrican lord’s name, would we force the pillars of our society to bunk with, ugh, common criminals?

BP CEO Tony Hayward

What? I didn’t do nuthin’.

Remember back in December, 1984, when Union Carbide’s plant in Bhopal, India, accidentally released methyl isocyanate gas into the air? Oops! The death toll estimates ranged from 3787 (the official number) to upwards of 16,000. And a half million people were injured, including partial, severe, and permanently disabling physical trauma. I mean, why get hung up on numbers; none of those affected were job creators — and very, very few of them white.

Union Carbide CEO Warren Anderson immediately flew into Bhopal to show how deeply he cared for the suffering of all those brown people. But those wacky Indians — the moment he stepped off the plane, they slapped the bracelets on him and charged him with manslaughter. Oh, the look on his face! His mug read: Don’t you know I’m the CEO of a very important Fortune 500 company?

So what did Anderson do? He promptly posted bail and then fled the country. India still has a warrant out for his arrest, nearly 30 years later. Our federal gov’t, for its part, refuses to extradite him because, well, what’s the big deal?

Bhopal

Quaint Indian Women

Like I said, quaint. Americans are decidedly not quaint. Many of us know precisely whom to blame whenever anything bad happens, be it an industrial disaster, a snowstorm, or an asteroid hitting Yankee Stadium.

Barack Obama!

The Pencil Today:

THE QUOTE

“You want to know whether we’re better off? I’ve got a little bumper sticker for you: Osama bin Laden is dead and General Motors is alive.” — Vice President Joe Biden

UNION

The day after Labor Day.

Up in Chicago, the city’s Daley Center Plaza was chock full of people showing support for the Chicago Teachers Union yesterday.

Here’s one picture of the scene from radical attorney Jerry Boyle:

Chicago’s Daley Center Plaza, Labor Day, 2012

And I’ll bet you thought nobody cared about unions anymore.

THE RYDER AND US

Peter LoPilato’s Ryder Film Series and magazine get wrapped up in a spanking new website today.

And your fave Bloomington events listings move to that address.

What used to be known as The Electron Pencil’s “GO!” now is a daily blog on The Ryder’s shiny internet home.

So get your mouse-clicking, touchpad mashing finger limbered up: From now on you can get Bloomington’s finest hot air here and then click over to The Ryder to help you make the day’s plans. Oh, and you can read about the movies Peter will be showing this coming weekend and you can peruse current and past editions of The Ryder mag online.

What more do you need in life?

[At the time this post was published, the Runskip bosses had not put the new Ryder site up yet. So be patient. I’ll get a link to you as soon as it’s released to me.]

THERE IS NO MAGIC FOOD

Loved the NPR report this morning on organic foods.

A Stanford University study indicates that there is scant evidence organic foods have much added benefit. That is, if you’re an organic foodie, your health isn’t more likely to be better, you’re not getting more nutrients from what you eat, and your grub doesn’t necessarily taste better.

Worth It?

Don’t get me wrong, I like eating food that’s free of chemical pesticides. And keep in mind I used to be part of the Whole Foods Market education department. It was my job to explain the federal organic program and WFM’s efforts to operate within that law.

So I had intimate knowledge of organics.

Knowing what I knew, I decided very early on that I needn’t waste my dough buying only organic fruits and vegetables or even potato chips. And yes, you can get organic junk food.

That was one of the things that turned me off organics. They are costly. Organics are privileged white people’s way of telling themselves they’re eating better the the rest of the sweaty crowd.

That’s the kind of attitude Right Wingers love to focus on and exaggerate when they’re trying to convince the public that liberals and progressives rank below peeping toms on the social scale.

I’ve long felt that the whole organics thing is the Left’s vestige of Puritanism. My food is holy and clean, the foodies seem to be saying.

I’m Gonna Live Forever!

Me? I know the world is filthy and full of peril. I do my best to avoid risk, still keeping in mind that some microorganism, some parasite, some tornado or flood, or some wild eyed religious fundamentalist just might kick the crap out of me.

There is no guarantee of anything. And organics are no guarantee of better food.

BIDEN BITIN’

A couple of things about today’s quote.

Generally, I avoid quoting current politicians spouting their partisan bull. But with the 2012 presidential campaign racing into the homestretch, I’ll be wearing my colors until the first Tuesday in November. It’s bull season.

The Political Season

Now, about that pic of Joe Biden jamming a couple of ice cream cones down his throat: It comes from a Tumblr site entitled “500 Still Frames of Joe Biden Eating a Sandwich.”

Yup. No lie.

It’s one of the reasons I love the interwebs.

The site is dedicated to amassing pix of the Veep working as a trencherman.

Someone even sneaked in a shot of Secretary of State Hillary Clinton attacking a submarine. Here it is:

Sure, it’s probably a campaign photo op but, still, ya gotta love a woman who’s not afraid to get her hands greasy.

I have a pal who’s been married for more than 30 years. He says he knew his future blushing bride was the one for him on their very first date: They went out to eat and she mopped up her plate in record time and then reached over to spear morsels from his dish.

“She was a champion eater,” he says proudly.

And the best part is, according to my pal, she’s as svelte now as she was when she was a callow 24-year-old.

PHILOSOPHICAL DIFFERENCES?

THINK

Here’s how I waste my time. How about you? Share your fave sites with us via the comments section. Just type in the name of the site, not the url; we’ll find them. If we like them, we’ll include them — if not, we’ll ignore them.

I Love ChartsLife as seen through charts.

XKCD — “A webcomic of romance, sarcasm, math, and language.”

SkepchickWomen scientists look at the world and the universe.

IndexedAll the answers in graph form, on index cards.

Science Is Awesome (formerly I Fucking Love Science)A Facebook community of science geeks.

Science Is Awesome

Present/&/CorrectFun, compelling, gorgeous and/or scary graphic designs and visual creations throughout the years and from all over the world.

Flip Flop Fly BallBaseball as seen through infographics, haikus, song lyrics, and other odd communications devices.

Mental FlossFacts.

SodaplayCreate your own models or play with other people’s models.

Eat Sleep DrawAn endless stream of artwork submitted by an endless stream of people.

Big ThinkTapping the brains of notable intellectuals for their opinions, predictions, and diagnoses.

Click For Full Article

The Daily PuppySo shoot me.

 

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