The Big Knife
Last full week before the doctors slice me open and install an electric generator in my chest. They’ll run leads right into my heart so that if said organ decides to go on a drunken bender, the generator’ll shock me with 800 volts and get the ticker back in line, 4/4 beat and all.
Here’s the device:
I hope it works. Or, better yet, I hope it never has to. We’ll see.
Taking The Blame
So, the S. Korean prime minister handed in his resignation over the capsized ferry that sent some 300 kids and adults to their watery graves.
Imagine that. There exist in this world some nations and societies wherein big shots take the heat for the bad things that happen on their watch.
I realize this is hard for Americans to believe, but in some faraway lands, heads of companies whose fuel depots blow up or whose toxic sludge seeps into the nation’s Capri Sun juice reserves often get sacked or even prosecuted for their misdeeds.
In other words, certain races of humans on this Earth entertain the quaint notion that somebody’s responsible when shit happens.
How odd, no? Here in this holy land, of course, we understand that when a coal company dumps poison into the water supply, well, by golly, that’s merely one of the costs of a free society. Imagine if we blessed Murricans played so fast and loose with the concept of accountability.
Why, our nation’s prisons would be filled to the bursting point with the likes of the CEOs of BP, Transocean and Halliburton, the managers of Freedom Industries, the former decision makers at General Motors, the bosses at West Fertilizer Company, and many other wealthy white folks. Why, in our Murrican lord’s name, would we force the pillars of our society to bunk with, ugh, common criminals?
What? I didn’t do nuthin’.
Remember back in December, 1984, when Union Carbide’s plant in Bhopal, India, accidentally released methyl isocyanate gas into the air? Oops! The death toll estimates ranged from 3787 (the official number) to upwards of 16,000. And a half million people were injured, including partial, severe, and permanently disabling physical trauma. I mean, why get hung up on numbers; none of those affected were job creators — and very, very few of them white.
Union Carbide CEO Warren Anderson immediately flew into Bhopal to show how deeply he cared for the suffering of all those brown people. But those wacky Indians — the moment he stepped off the plane, they slapped the bracelets on him and charged him with manslaughter. Oh, the look on his face! His mug read: Don’t you know I’m the CEO of a very important Fortune 500 company?
So what did Anderson do? He promptly posted bail and then fled the country. India still has a warrant out for his arrest, nearly 30 years later. Our federal gov’t, for its part, refuses to extradite him because, well, what’s the big deal?
Quaint Indian Women
Like I said, quaint. Americans are decidedly not quaint. Many of us know precisely whom to blame whenever anything bad happens, be it an industrial disaster, a snowstorm, or an asteroid hitting Yankee Stadium.