Category Archives: Monroe County

04/26/2012
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Accretive Health, F. Scott Fitzgerald, General Mills, Lori Swanson, Monroe County, Parade Magazine, Total Cereal

The Pencil Today:

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THE QUOTE

“Advertising is a racket, like the movies and the brokerage business. You cannot be honest without admitting that its constructive contribution to humanity is exactly minus zero.” — F. Scott Fitzgerald

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AND NOW,  A WORD FROM OUR SPONSOR

People were eating free bowls of Total cereal on the Monroe County Courthouse lawn yesterday morning.

A couple of big party tents and dozens of folding chairs were set up around long tables in front of the venerable domed structure. All were plastered with the Total brand name. People wearing Total t-shirts, vests, and smocks walked around the square, directing passersby to the giveaway.

It was all part of the “celebration” for Bloomington being named one of the 25 hardest-working towns in America by Parade Magazine Sunday.

The “Celebration” Raged On In 25 Cities

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At least that’s what the press release issued by Total claims. For my money it was nothing more than a cheap hey-look-at-me-stunt. In fact, the entire list of hardest-working towns thing is an ad man’s gimmick.

I’d like to think we’d keep the courthouse lawn fairly free of commercialism. And if we were going to allow businesses to tout their wares on it, those businesses would at least be local, not some multi-national, Fortune 500 concern with annual global net sales near $15B.

Corporate Headquarters, Golden Valley, Minnesota

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Perhaps the citizenry of Bloomington is too sophisticated for such obvious commercial flattery. I didn’t see many people flocking to the tents and tables even if they were going to get something for nothing.

But whoever gave Total and its parent, General Mills, the go-ahead to use our public space to hawk their breakfast cereal is easily flattered indeed.

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JUST FOLLOWING ORDERS

So, perhaps the best business to get involved in these days is bill collecting for hospitals.

One of the side effects of the sputtering, stuttering economy is the growing inability of poor and working class families to pay their hospital bills. Last year, hospitals in the United States provided some $39B in “uncompensated care,” meaning treatment for the uninsured.

One publicly traded hospital collection agency, Accretive Health, reported a 130 percent increase in company profits in 2011 over 2010.

Wait, did I type business? I meant racket.

“Now, Whaddabout D’at Money Y’Owe Me?”

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According to Minnesota Attorney General Lori Swanson, that fabulously successful business, Accretive, is planting collectors in hospitals to circulate among folks waiting to be treated in emergency rooms. The collectors are allegedly leaning on the sick and injured to pay off their outstanding hospital bills for previous services.

Accretive employees get to people after they’ve registered at the ER or the obstetrics desk. “Patients are harassed mercilessly,” one hospital staffer told the New York Times. If the patients owe on unpaid bills, the Accretive people stall and pressure them. Even those who don’t owe money are given the rough massage by Accretive employees — they’re badgered to pay in advance for treatment, a practice unheard of until recent times.

That, my friends, is a racket. And Accretive isn’t the only racketeer in on this dirty business.

In a more innocent day, we called such people goons or plug-uglies. You knew them because their fists were the size of small bowling balls and their noses were crooked. Now you can’t tell them apart from nurses and patient service representatives.

“Y’Don’t Want Me To Get Tough Now, Do Ya?”

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Swanson has filed a lawsuit against Accretive regarding its practices. She’s conferring with state and federal regulators over whether to file criminal charges.

I imagine there’ll be plenty of tut-tutting over these ghoulish corporate tactics. Nothing illustrates the transformation of health care from a civic good to a profit-making enterprise better than this story. The lament surely will go up: The corporate bean counters are now holding the strings, controlling our doctors and nurses!

I’d like to bring the discussion down to the individual level, though.

What kind of a human being would willingly work for a company like Accretive?

Yes, I know jobs are scarce these days, and one can’t be terribly picky about things. Someone offers you a job, you snap it up, even if it’s not the perfect position.

Still, how desperate do you have to be to agree to strongarm a pregnant woman whose pains are five minutes apart? Won’t trying to squeeze money out of people who are suffering appendicitis attacks or whose kids are burning up with fever all day eventually get you down even if you are keeping up with the mortgage payments?

“Hey Kid, Where’s Your Mudder? I Gotta Talk To Her’.”

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If the only thing that counts is the earning of regular pay, why not hire out as a contract killer or sell crystal meth to teenagers? I’ll bet those two vocations pay a hell of a lot better than Accretive does.

These days it’s a luxury to refuse to work for big bad Barnes & Noble, say, because it’s putting independent bookstores out of business. As long as this recession hangs around, you can table your finely honed social conscience. It’s better to eat and keep your home than it is to maintain some impossible standard of political purity.

The people who work for Accretive, though, have to dig being thumb-breakers, even if they’re not required to actually snap phalanges. Yeah, Accretive is an evil corporation if these charges are true but it’s made up of little individuals who are equally as amoral.

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Electron Pencil event listings: Music, art, movies, lectures, parties, receptions, benefits, plays, meetings, fairs, conspiracies, rituals, etc.

Thursday, April 26, 2012

◗ Mathers Museum of World Cultures — Exhibits, “Blended Harmonies: Music and Religion in Nepal”; through July 1st — “Esse Quam Videri (To Be, Rather than To Be Seen): Muslim Self Portraits; through June 17th — “From the Big Bang to the World Wide Web: The Origins of Everything”; through July 1st, 9am-4:30pm

◗ American Red Cross — Thursday Book Sale; 9am-4pm

◗ City Hall — Today’s 1st Public Input Session for Switchyard Park; Noon

◗ Bloomington, Citywide — IU’s Arts Week Everywhere 2012; Ongoing, various times

◗ IU Grunwald (SOFA) Gallery — MFA & BFA Thesis 3 exhibitions; through May 5th

◗ IU Dunn Meadow — Rent-a-Puppy, play with puppies fundraiser for Bloomington Animal Shelter; 1pm

◗ IU Cinema — Lecture, Irene Taylor Brodsky discusses her documentary film, “Hear and Now”; 3pm

Irene Taylor Brodsky

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◗ Meadowood Retirement Community — Five Star Chef Challenge; 3:30-6:30pm

◗ IU Memorial Union, Whittenberger Auditorium — Presentation, Gayle Cook talks about “The Mystic of the Domes”; 4pm

◗ City Hall — Today’s 2nd Public Input Session for Switchyard Park; 5:30pm

◗ Bear’s Place — Aha! Quintet CD release party; 5:30pm

◗ IU Assembly Hall — IU Men’s Basketball 2012 Awards; 6pm

◗ Rhino’s All Ages Music Club — Benefit concert for Abilities Unlimited featuring Elmo Taylor and Don’t Call Me Betty; 6:30pm

◗ Pictura Gallery — Artist talk with Russian photographer Evgenia Arbugaeva; 7-8pm

◗ IU Memorial Union, Alumni Hall — Das Racist; 7pm

◗ IU Cinema — Documentary film, “Hear and Now,” by Irene Taylor Brodsky; 7pm

◗ Rachael’s Cafe — Drunken Moon Cabaret; 7:30-9pm

◗ The Player’s Pub — Open Mic; 7:30pm

◗ Yogi’s Grill — Poker; 7:30pm

◗ IU Auditorium — Musical, “Young Frankenstein”; 8pm

◗ Cafe Django — Seth Tsui Jazz Quartet; 8-10pm

◗ IU Memorial Union, Whittenberger Auditorium — Film, “The Artist”; 8 & 11pm

◗ Comedy Attic — Kumail Nanjiani; 8pm

◗ Bear’s Place — Karaoke; 9pm

◗ Max’s Place — Whiskey Mystic; 9pm

◗ The Bishop — Sweetback Sisters; 9:30pm

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01/12/2012
3 Comments
Amy Gerstman, Barrett Strong, Berry Gordy Jr., Bill Cook, Book Corner, College Sports, Dan Smith, Indiana University, Jim Manion, John Mellencamp, Juvenal, Kelley School of Business, Lilly Endowment, Michael McRobbie, Monroe County, Motown, Phi Beta Kappa Society, Rhonda Foster, Riley Manion, Sheriff Jim Kennedy, Tamla, WFHB

The Pencil Today:

TODAY’S QUOTE

“Sed quis custodiet ipsos custodes? (But who will guard the guards themselves?)” — Juvenal

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GERSTMAN’S GOTTA GO

So now Monroe County Auditor Amy Gerstman is facing another charge: She hasn’t been taking minutes at county meetings, as she’s required to do by state law.

This, of course, is on top of the charges that she used credit cards issued to her office for personal expenses like groceries, gifts, and even her kids’ private school tuitions. The county board voted to censure Gerstman yesterday.

The Soon-To-Be Ex-County Auditor?

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Board members say Gerstman has been notably absent from board and committee meetings even though it’s her duty to record their proceedings. For her part Gerstman says she’s entitled to send a proxy to do that grunt work.

That would be fine if, say, Gerstman came down with the flu on the date of a meeting. But, if county board members are to be believed, this “flu” has lasted a long, long time.

I suppose we can’t blame Gerstman for not wanting to show her face at public meetings, considering the silly and embarrassing things she’s been doing with county dough. Admittedly, she has paid it all back but, as I cracked earlier, the bank robber who tries to return the sack of cash he took at gunpoint still is a bank robber.

Gerstman didn’t show up to work yesterday, indicating she may be contemplating doing the right thing. That’s resigning.

I mean, honestly, the woman is the auditor, for pity’s sake. Her job is to make sure the county’s money is being spent correctly. The Gerstman saga is the equivalent of learning that Sheriff Jim Kennedy runs a local crime syndicate.

And, BTW, Gerstman hasn’t been the only official who feels the county’s credit cards are really hers. Human Resources Director Rhonda Foster quit her post abruptly last week after it was learned she, too, had played fast and loose with county plastic. If not the flu, then something‘s going around the Showers Building.

The Ex-HR Chief

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A regular county commissioners meeting is scheduled for tomorrow at City Hall at 9:00am. The smart move is for Gerstman to submit her resignation at the meeting and, perhaps, issue a heartfelt public apology at the same time.

We’re forgiving folks around here. We’re happy she’s paid back the money that she used for personal expenses. We hope she’s learned her lesson and will go on to thrive in the private business world.

But we know this: We don’t want Amy Gertsman watching our public funds anymore.

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MONEY FOR SOMETHIN’

Yes, I realize I may be run out of town for this statement, but I’m glad somebody’s giving Indiana University a pile of cash for something other than a sports cathedral.

Kelley School of Business Dean Dan Smith and IU President Michael McRobbie are patting each other on the back for scoring a $33M grant from the Lilly Endowment for an expansion and renovation project. Kelley’s undergrad factory will gain an additional 71,000 square feet and will be decked out with all the latest hi-tech gadgets by 2015.

Excessively Straight-Backed Biz Students Watch Vid Screens In Their New Digs

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That thirty-three large will be thrown in with some $27M already collected from alumni and other donors to round out the planned $60M job. The Lilly grant is the largest the Kelley has ever received as well as one of the biggest in the university’s history.

Smith says: “The new facilities will allow the school to more fully execute an experiential learning approach to business education.” I think he means the new plant will make Kelley students smarter.

Which I’ve always thought was the aim of a major university. Or even a minor one, for that matter.

See, I only arrived on the scene a couple of years ago. Native Bloomingtonians may be used to it, but I was shocked at the size and scope of IU’s sports facilities. And the area’s deep-pocketed usual suspects, like the late Bill Cook and the still-kicking John Mellencamp, seem always to be donating bread for another towering, sprawling gym or shower room.

How clean do our “student-athletes” need to be after a workout?

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SMART COOKIE, PROUD PAPA

WFHB Music Director Jim Manion dropped by the Book Corner yesterday. He’s still crowing about his daughter Riley’s nomination to the Phi Beta Kappa Society in December.

They say pride is one of the deadly sins but when a guy is walking on air because his daughter has been named to one of the most prestigious academic societies on the planet, well, that ain’t no sin, baby.

Riley (l) And Jim Manion

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The Pencil extends its warmest congrats to Riley and Jim.

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MONEY (THAT’S WHAT I WANT)

Barrett Strong‘s “Money…” can be considered the granddaddy of all Motown hits. Start-up record impresario Berry Gordy, Jr. released the 45 in 1959 under his Tamla label and it became a hit in early 1960. Its success spurred Gordy to incorporate under the Motown banner that spring.

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01/04/2012
5 Comments
Amy Gerstman, Bill Bryson, Bloomington Alternative, Bob Dylan, Bunger & Robertson, Dylan Thomas, Hamlet, Herald Times, Howard Zinn, Ignorantia Legis, Iowa Caucuses, Jim Bouton, Leonard Schecter, Mark Twain, Marty Hawk, Michele Bachmann, Mitt Romney, Monroe County, Natalie Angier, Paul Verlaine, Philip Roth, Richard Hell, Rick Santorum, Robert Caro, Television (the band), Timothy Ferris, Tom Verlaine, Truman Capote, US Supreme Court, William Shakespeare

The Pencil Today:

TODAY’S QUOTE

“The lady doth protest too much, methinks.” — Queen Gertrude in William Shakespeare’s “Hamlet”

Hamlet And His Mom (They’ve Got Nothing On Rick Santorum)

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RICK SANTORUM’S PROBLEM

So, now we can go back to forgetting that Iowa exists.

Republicans in the cornstalk state staged their beauty contest last night and, in the end, couldn’t decide who had the prettier face, Mitt Romney or Rick Santorum.

Rick Santorum?

Let me ask that again — Rick Santorum?

Rick Santorum Wore This Suit While Decrying Gay Marriage

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Sheesh! Talk about good news-bad news. I mean, the vast majority of overall-ed voters rejected the notion of a Michele Bachmann presidency, which will go a long way toward ensuring that I get a sound sleep tonight. That’s the good news.

But Rick Santorum?

Here, in his own words, is the guy whom 30,007 Iowans think ought to be able to name the next Supreme Court justice: “I have no problem with homosexuality. I have a problem with homosexual acts.”

Man, Rick Santorum would wake Hamlet’s shrink from his nap.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, when it comes to guys who pontificate the way Santorum does, the “problem” they have is trying to ignore the endless pictures of homosexual acts that crowd into their imaginations every time they turn the lights out.

Rick Santorum’s Problem(s)

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IGNORANTIA LEGIS*

Eek. Monroe County Auditor Amy Gerstman has done the right thing by saying she won’t run for another term.

Gerstman

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But with the latest revelations about her county credit card use for personal expenses, she might do herself a favor and make an appointment with one of the fine attorneys over at Bunger & Robertson to see if she ought to start packing her toothbrush for a little stay away from home.

Gerstman has purchased gifts, groceries, dinners, and other personal items using at least three of the four credit cards registered under her office’s name. The Herald Times reported this morning that she also paid her kids’ private school tuitions with one of the cards.

The auditor (for the moment) has apologized and says she’s paid back all the money. That’s nice. But if a guy robs a bank and, while being chased by the cops, runs back into the bank claiming he wants to return the loot, the heat still slaps the bracelets on him.

By the way, that fourth credit card? Gerstman claims her office has forgotten the password to access online information about it. She also says the bank lady who normally helps her with the account has been on vacation. Both County Commissioner Marty Hawk and the H-T requested info on that card more than two months ago.

Some vacation.

Oh, and another thing. Bloomington Alternative ran a little piece when she announced her run for the office in 2008. Scroll down to the third paragraph where she’s quoted as saying, “There needs to be a change, restoring confidence is essential.”

Some confidence.

* The legal profession’s shorthand for the Latin, Ignorantia legis neminem excusat (ignorance of the law is no excuse.)

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KILL YOUR TV

Make sure you read at least ten books this year.

Here are ten of my faves:

  • Breakfast at Tiffany’s by Truman Capote
  • Goodbye, Columbus: And Five Short Stories by Philip Roth
  • The Canon: A Whirlgig Tour of the Beautiful Basics of Science by Natalie Angier

Angier

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  • The Lost Continent: Travels in Small Town America by Bill Bryson
  • Coming of Age in the Milky Way by Timothy Ferris (the science writer, not the entrepreneurial self-help goof)
  • Ball Four by Jim Bouton & Leonard Schecter
  • The Years of Lyndon Johnson by Robert Caro (a so-far three-volume bio of the 36rd President with the fourth book due out this spring)
  • Logicomix: An Epic Search for Truth by Apostolos Doxiadis & Christos H. Papadimitriou
  • A People’s History of the United States: 1492-Present by Howard Zinn
  • The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain

A simple truth: books make you smart; TV makes you stupid.

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FRICTION

The band Television was fronted by the very talented Tom Verlaine along with high school chum Richard Hell. Born Thomas Miller, Verlaine adopted his stage surname from the French poet Paul Verlaine. He said he did it as an homage to Bob Dylan who also renamed himself after a tragic versifier.

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12/29/2011
2 Comments
An American in Paris, Andy Warhol, Ben Joravsky, Bloomington Indiana, Bridges of Madison County, Caskie Stinnett, Elvis Presley, Foot Fetish, Gene Kelly, Goethe, Gout, Henry VIII, Hypochondria, Indianapolis, Jerry Abramson, Leslie Caron, Louisville Kentucky, Monroe County, Pate de Foie Gras, Robert Fulghum, Robert James Waller, The Third City, Thomas Hardy, Vi Simpson

The Pencil Today:

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TODAY’S QUOTE

“The trouble with being a hypochondriac these days is that antibiotics have cured all the good diseases.” — Caskie Stinnett

Read On To Find Out Why I Put Up This Pic Of A Big Toe (And Its Buddies)

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MY DOPEY DISEASE

Life is not fair. We should all know it. The only people who cry about this state of affairs are those who expect life to be fair.

That, of course, is what kindergarteners think. BTW: Remember the rage for that gooey book by Robert Fulghum — “All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten”?

The man should have been incarcerated (right after Robert James Waller, whose “The Bridges of Madison County” hit it big around the same time.)

And who’s heard of Fulghum (or Waller) in the last decade or so? They’ve been swallowed up by the anonymity they so richly deserve.

Criminal

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Life has nothing to do with kindergarten.

Anyway, I didn’t post yesterday because I spent the morning in my doctor’s office. The diagnosis: gout.

Isn’t that the dumbest goddamn disease you’ve ever heard of? I mean, honestly.

It doesn’t kill you. It doesn’t maim you. It just hurts to high heaven, to the point where you can’t even sleep at night.

Ridiculous.

And its image really, really stinks. Unless you’re knowledgeable about it, the first thing you think of when you hear the word gout is some fat slob like Henry VIII, gorging himself on fatty, rich foods until his body rebels against him.

Slob

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Nobody’s gonna hold a charity walk for that.

The truth, as my old pal and colleague Benny Jay found out a couple of years ago, is another story.

Benny’s my age but as trim as a 25-year-old. He eats like monk, rarely drinks, and runs every day. I really hate him. Yet he got gout. The docs told him he had a genetic predisposition for it.

When I first heard he had it, I immediately chided him: “So, you’ve been eating all the wrong crap, huh?”

If You Eat Pâté de Foie Gras, You Deserve Gout

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I thought he was going to clobber me. He set me straight about what a straight-arrow he is (did I mention I hate him?) He really educated me about gout, too.

So when it felt as though a safe had fallen on my left big toe Monday night and I came to the conclusion I had gout, I didn’t put myself through the self-flaggelation that most sufferers do.

Still, gout is stupid. And life is not fair.

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A WARNING FOR YOUR OWN GOOD

Don’t google pix of big toes, as I had to do to find the image above.

I didn’t know exactly what I expected to find. Figuring it’s the Internet and I was looking for images of a certain body part, I suppose I thought most of the results would be porn sites. The human capacity to fetishize things for masturbatorial gratification is positively amazing.

To my dismay, the vast majority of big toe images were 73 times more disgusting than any foot porn could be. (And BTW: did you know Goethe, Thomas Hardy, Elvis Presley, and Andy Warhol were foot fetishists? Man!)

For god’s sake people, take care of your toes!

And while we’re at it, men should never wear sandals. Yeah, I know, it feels comfortable, but the rest of us don’t want to see how you’ve ignored toe care for the last 20 years.

Women Can Get Away With It

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TWO HEARTS BEATING AS ONE

In more pedestrian matters (hehe, a pun) the Herald Times yesterday ran an editorial calling for consolidation of the Monroe County and City of Bloomington governments.

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That’s what Indy did with Marion County back in 1970. They call their set-up Unigov. Louisville, Kentucky and Jefferson County did it, too, in 2003, dubbing their marriage Metro Louisville. Former mayor Jerry Abramson used to brag that his town had become the 16th biggest city in the nation. Unfortunately, no one else bought into that conceit.

The editorial cites the county’s election day screw-up and the County Auditor’s credit card mini-scandal among the reasons the two entities should merge.

We’ll be listening for the reactions of the folks in Ellettsville, Stinesville, and Smithville.

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FOUND MONEY

State Senator Vi Simpson wants to get her hands on some of that $300 million of state money auditors found laying around last month.

Vi Simpson

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Apparently, she’s interested in directing some of that dough toward state school districts that have had to endure — mirabile dictu! — some $300 million in state cutbacks of late.

Doesn’t she know these are more prudent, conservative times we live in? And she wants to throw away money on kids’ educations? Sheesh.

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AN AMERICAN IN PARIS

Just a little taste from what I consider one of the 10 greatest American movies ever made. Sheer pleasure for the ears and eyes.

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12/02/2011
3 Comments
Alycin Bektesh, Chad Carrothers, Chicago Sun-Times, Dave Edmunds, Dave Hoekstra, Elvis Costello, January Jones, Judith Smith-Ille, Matchbox-Chicago, Monroe County, Nick Lowe, Republican Party, Stiff Records, University of Illinois-Chicago, Voter Centers, WFHB, WUIC

The Pencil Today:

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SAVINGS BE DAMNED — VOTE CENTERS ARE A NO-GO

The race went according to form yesterday. The lone Republican on the Monroe County election commission ixnayed vote centers.

Commissioner Judith Smith-Ille said hell no to the proposed plan which would have replaced the county’s 90 voter precincts with a smaller number of strategically located vote centers.

Smith-Ille: No Means No

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The vote center plan would have made it easier for voters — including IU college students — to cast their ballots in next year’s presidential beauty contest. It also would have saved tons of dough and streamlined counting and reporting procedures.

Smith-Ille shook her head and said she was worried about how people in wheelchairs and such would get into the centers.

Me? I’m guessing it has a hell of a lot more to do with keeping those pesky college students away from the polls — especially since they tended to vote Democratic in 2008.

On the bright side, this GOP gambit is a refreshing change of pace. Republicans invariably embrace anything that saves cash. Perhaps my Republican friends are getting help for that particular addiction.

If so, keep up the good work, guys. We may yet bring you around to supporting costly things like social services, education, health care, and other human needs.

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JANUARY JONES MOVES ON

Sad news from the world headquarters of WFHB radio. News hound extraordinaire January Jones is out as News Director.

The Real January Jones

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January and I spent many an afternoon pounding out stories for the 5:30PM Daily Local News. She worked herself ragged transcribing countless (and seemingly endless) city and county meetings for CATS Week. Often she’d show up in the newsroom running on an hour or less of sleep.

She took over the News Department after Chad Carrothers was kicked upstairs to the General Manager’s chair. The transition was as seamless as could it be.

Assistant News Director Alycin Bektesh will watch over the operation for the time being until Chad and the board can name a permanent victim…, er, replacement.

Alycin Bektesh

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CRUEL TO BE KIND

Dave Hoekstra, Chicago Sun-Times columnist and denizen of that legendary watering hole, The Matchbox, hit me with a nostalgia stick in the middle of the night.

Sun-Timesman Dave Hoekstra

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I couldn’t sleep so I went online, natch. Flipped through Facebook and found a post from him linking to one of the great pure pop songs of all time. “Cruel to Be Kind” by Nick Lowe.

Lowe was a member of the Stiff Records stable of coolness. He and Dave Edmunds (“Girls Talk”) were part of the advance guard (including Elvis Costello) of what would become the British post-punk invasion.

The song was power pop at its finest. And the video perfectly captures the feel of the early art form. People are actually having fun in it, albeit sort of a clunky, nervous, what-am-I-supposed-to-do-next kind of fun.

When I DJ’d the overnight shift at WUIC, the University of Illinois-Chicago‘s station, I would play “Cruel to Be Kind” at least once every single airshift.

And to prove I’m not dead yet, I listened to and watched the vid five straight times at around 1:30 this morning. Thanks, Hoekstra!

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11/30/2011
1 Comment
Anne Hathaway, Bloomington Indiana, Civil Disobedience, Indiana University, JP Morgan Chase, Judith Smith-Ille, Kelley School of Business, Linda Robbins, Monroe County, Occupy LA, Occupy Philadelphia, Republican Party, Voter Centers

The Pencil Today:

LOVE IS CRUEL

So, Anne Hathaway’s getting married. I guess The Loved One can rest easy from now on.

Big Mike Must Face Facts: She Loves Another

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MAKE IT EASIER TO VOTE? I DUNNO, IS THAT WISE?

The Monroe County election board will vote Thursday on voting centers. The board’s only Republican, Judith Smith-Ille, has opposed a 2012 start-up for the centers. County Clerk Linda Robbins, a Democratic board member, wants them for next year’s election.

Butting Heads: Smith-Ille & Robbins (IDS photo)

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The idea is the county will do away with its 90 precinct polling places and replace them with strategically located sites in which any registered voter from anywhere in the county can cast a ballot.

Everyone agrees the vote centers will make it easier for citizens to do their duty. So why are Smith-Ille and other Republicans fighting the 2012 roll-out?

Search me. But is it my imagination or do Republicans as a rule start to get itchy whenever talk turns to increased voter turnout?

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IF YOU DO THE CRIME YOU MUST DO THE TIME

Jails in a few cities and towns of this holy land hosted hundreds of Occupy protesters last night. Los Angeles cops busted up the encampment in that city with a couple of hundred earning their plastic wrist-ties. Philadelphia police applied the strong-arm as well, taking 40 into custody.

LA Bust Last Night

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And whaddya know? Even Bloomington, the Solar System’s center of liberalism, progressivism, and intellectualism, saw its cops wade into a mass of protesters. Officers nabbed five of them and shipped them off to…, let’s see now, Guantanamo? No. The Gulag Archipelago? Uh uh.

No. The kids were taken to the county lockup and were promptly bailed out.

Apparently, the protesters were not affiliated with the local Occupy gang although they claimed to be “in solidarity” with the campers at People’s Park.

And forgive me for judging this book by its cover, but yesterday’s protesters at Indiana University’s Kelley School of Business didn’t appear to be used to such rude treatment. The protesters were blocking the door to a room in which capos from JP Morgan Chase were to recruit new soldiers for their mob.

Civil Disobedience

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See, when you do civil disobedience, you should expect to be jailed. And when you’re jailed in those circumstances, you should take it with dignity. After all, in an unjust society, the only place for a just human being is in jail.

Am I nitpicking here? You tell me.

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11/11/2011
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2012, Andy Ruff, Ashton Kutcher, Chris Sturbaum, Herman Cain, Jerry Sandusky, Joe Paterno, KC & the Sunshine Band, Linda Robbins, Mark Kruzan, Mike McQueary, Monroe County, Penn State University, Regina Moore, Susan Sandberg, Tim Mayer, Two and a Half Men

Today: Friday, November 11, 2011

SNAKE EYES

Sorry, No. Try Again.

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Eleven. Eleven. Eleven. Last time for that numerology oddity until the next century.

The good thing is the world hasn’t spun out of orbit — as far as I can tell. Hold off your worries about that until next year, you know, 2012.

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DEMOCRACY HERE AND NOW

Hallelujah! Monroe County has a winner. Several, as a matter of fact. Results from Tuesday’s election finally were announced yesterday. Oh, and Monroe County Clerk Linda Robbins is still at large.

Wanted: Linda Robbins. Suspect May Be Armed (with paper ballots).

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Bloomington’s three incumbent at-large Common Council members have been reelected. Tim Mayer, Susan Sandberg, and Andy Ruff all outpolled the two lone Republicans on the ballot (the two, in fact, may be the lone Republicans in Bloomington, period.)

In the only contested district race for the Council, incumbent Dem Chris Sturbaum whupped newcomer KC Baker to keep his seat in the First.

Not That KC, Silly!

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Our KC is also a Republican so there are at least three of them in our town now.

Did I mention Mayor Mark Kruzan and City Clerk Regina Moore retained their offices after all the ballots were counted? They ran unopposed, of course. Sheesh. And people say my hometown of Chicago is a monolithic, single-party kingdom.

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IS IT LEGAL TO SPANK COLLEGE STUDENTS?

You thought I was steamed yesterday when I wrote about the Penn State knuckleheads who rioted because football Coach Joe Paterno was fired? You ain’t seen nothin’ yet.

Tomorrow is PSU’s last home game of the season. Extra security forces have been called in — the Pennsylvania State Police will beef up its contingent to help State College and campus cops keep a semblance of order. One regent from visiting Nebraska wants more protection for his “student-athletes.”

State College police spokesman Capt. John Gardner described the situation in terms of war. “Each time they (rioters) up the ante, we’re going to up the ante too,” he promised.

This Means War!

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But here’s what’s frying me. Penn State assistant coach Mike McQueary won’t be anywhere near Beaver Stadium. Why not?

Well, the no good rat had the gall to report that he’d seen a former assistant coach having sex with a ten year old boy in the PSU football facility shower room in 2002. That revelation, stonewalled and sat upon by university officials — including Joe Paterno — led to the firings of the legendary coach and the university’s president Wednesday. At least three people including Jerry Sandusky, the alleged child molester, have been charged by a Pennsylvania Grand Jury so far in the ongoing scandal.

Naturally, a lot of faithful Penn State football fans have responded. They’ve sent death threats to McQueary.

Off With His Head!

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Imagine that! The no-goodnik wrecked everything for Penn State football. Just because he saw some child being sodomized by a grown man.

Grrrr. I’d like ten minutes alone in a room with any of the entitled little white rats who rioted Wednesday or sent those death threats to McQueary. And you know most of those reprobates are having fun with McQueary’s surname — as in Mc-Queer-ey.

When it comes to knuckleheads like them, a college education is a terrible thing to waste.

By the way, pretty boy actor Ashton Kutcher had to shut down his Twitter account yesterday because he expressed outrage that Joe Pa would be fired over such a trivial thing as ignoring the pederasty that was going on right under his nose.

I think they’d better start testing the water in the production studio of “Two and a Half Men.”

Sheen & Kutcher: What Have They Been Drinking?

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SLIME PAYS

As if all this isn’t crazy enough, former mediocre pizza company boss, radio talker, shameless self-promoter, and Republican presidential nominee front-runner Herman Cain reports that his campaign contributions have actually gone up since four woman have come forward to report what a slick and smooth romeo he is.

Now, Let’s Talk About That Job You Want.

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NUMEROLOGY’S EFFECT ON PLANETARY MOTION

Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe the world is spinning out of its orbit after all.

Earth’s Orbit, Pre-11/11/11

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11/09/2011
1 Comment
Amy Winehouse, Barack Obama, Bloomington Indiana, Donald Trump, Herman Cain, Jimmie Kimmel Live, Linda Robbins, Lindsay Lohan, Michael Jackson, Monroe County, Occupy Wall Street, WFIU

Today: Wednesday, November 9, 2011

AND THE WINNER IS…, NOBODY. YET.

Poor Linda Robbins. She’s in hot water.

Check that: Boiling water.

You can brew your morning java in it.

Linda Robbins In A Happier Moment

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Robbins, the Monroe County Clerk, suspended ballot counts (login required) early this morning after yesterday’s local elections

Mix-ups at certain polling places and legal questions about the counting process have resulted in…, um, actually, there are very few results to speak of at this hour.

(See WFIU’s website for the latest albeit incomplete tallies.)

Here’s what happened. Robbins ordered paper ballots to be used in yesterday’s election. She trained poll workers to do a quick count after the polls closed and then send the ballots off to a County facility where the pencil-marked ballots would be counted by an electronic scanner.

Sounds good, right? Poll workers envisioned doing their thing, shipping their ballots off, and going home early to sit before the fire and contemplate the infinite.

Oops. The lone Republican member of the County election board had dropped a bomb on Robbins Sunday. That board member reminded Robbins that a new state law requires county election boards to do their official counts at the precinct level, with the process overseen by a single poll worker from each of the two major parties.

The law, apparently, calls for felony charges to be brought against any county clerk who veers from its mandate.

Suddenly Sunday, Robbins envisioned herself wearing a Monroe County Correctional Center jumpsuit.

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So she brought her poll workers in for an emergency re-training session Monday. Only some folks just might have snoozed through the session.

Tuesday night, workers in a number of polling places stubbornly did their counts in the old way, the way they purportedly were trained out of Monday.

By midnight, the scene at the County was one of chaos. By two o’clock this morning, Robbins threw her hands in the air and ordered her people to call it a night. Counting was scheduled to resume at 9:00am.

Meanwhile, Robbins is making panicky phone calls to the Indiana Secretary of State’s office for guidance.

She may have to call a criminal defense attorney for some advice as well.

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BLAME THE POOR

Speaking of this solemn system of governance we call democracy, Herman Cain is going on the offensive against accusers who claim he’s been…, well, a jerk. Possibly a criminal jerk.

A Chicago woman this week accused the Republican presidential candidate of trying to force her face into his junk as they drove around after having dinner some years ago. This incident allegedly occurred when Cain was the big boss at the National Restaurant Association.

She’s one of four woman thus far to make such icky charges against the former pizza joint CEO.

Cain held a news conference yesterday to tell the world how unfair it’s being to him.

Why’s Everbody Always Pickin’ On Me?

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I mean, here’s a man who has worked his way up from dire poverty to become a wealthy man. So wealthy, in fact, that he had to become a Republican.

Cain, though, seems not to have much patience for folks who today are walking in the kind of holey shoes he once wore. He lashed out against Occupy Wall Streeters last month, saying they should only blame themselves if they aren’t as rich as he is. Later, at a Republican candidates debate, he iterated his scold against anyone who couldn’t afford a solid gold toilet.

Now, he’s under attack. And guess who’s responsible.

Yep, those who ought to be blaming themselves.

I Shoulda Worked Harder — Like Herman Cain!

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Cain returned fire at his Arizona presser Tuesday as well as on that paragon program of political thought, Jimmie Kimmel Live.

He referred to the Chicago woman as “troubled” and alluded to her financial difficulties throughout the years. The idea being that she’s broke and desperate and so was ripe to make her accusations for the big bucks that surely will ensue.

Keep in mind that when guys like Cain sneer at people for their financial difficulties, they’re not talking about, say, Donald Trump failing to make payments on his hundred-million-dollar loans. Hell no, that’s big business. Cain et al reserve their disgust for people, like the Chicago woman, who have a hard time paying the electric bill.

She has nobody to blame but herself.

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SURPRISE? REALLY?

I glanced at the New York Times front pager about the verdict in Michael Jackson’s doctor’s homicide case yesterday.

One thing struck me. The writer, for the 50-millionth time since the King of Pop went to heaven or hell, referred to his death as a “surprise.”

Honestly, who was surprised that Michael Jackson died? His dalliances with prescription meds were well-known. He’d been reported to be slurring and stumbling and appearing to be visiting another planet while working on his last video/CD.

And, for pity’s sake, he was Michael Jackson!

Who Could Have Expected Anything Bad To Happen To Him?

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When I heard the early reports that he’d died, my intial response was, “Naturally!”

Same with Amy Winehouse. Her alcoholism and drug problems were about as common knowledge in the gossip tabs and interwebs as the fact that Barack Obama was a secret radical Muslim from Nazi Germany.

And what about someone who today is holding on to life and sanity by her fingertips, one Lindsay Lohan? Should she cash in her chips tomorrow, will reporters write that her demise is a shock?

The way I figure it, if celeb journalists want to be really accurate they should handle such sad folks thusly: Every day there should be a headline in the Entertainment or Lifestyle section blaring the news, “Jacko/Winehouse/Lohan Still Alive! Medical Experts Baffled.” Then when they do die, nothing.

The daily news, after all, is mainly about the unusual or unexpected, isn’t it?

I Hope She Surprises Us

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