Hot Air: Humid, Too

Enigma

Everybody wants to be independent. Nobody is.

Fingers Crossed

Yeah, I’m back from a week and a half hiatus during which I badgered, hectored, bootlicked, fawned over, and attempted to persuade acquisition editors to sign Charlotte Zietlow and me to a rich publishing contract. We’ll soon see if all my alternate bending over backward and prostrating myself pays off. Should you espy me one of these days drag racing down Kirkwood Avenue versus the Croesian Ken Nunn in our matching black Rolls Royces, you’ll know what the outcome had been.

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D’uh…, What?

Oh. So, a bunch of English voters who marked “Leave” on their Brexit ballots are screaming to high heaven now, saying, Golly gee, we didn’t really mean it.

Now they want a re-vote. Who in the holy hell are these chuckleheads?

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[Photo: The New York Times]

They’re the same brand of dope who shrieked to high heaven that Scott Walker should be recalled as governor of Wisconsin. Remember that? Walker’d been elected WI gov. in 2010, riding the Tea Party wave into office. He railed against labor unions, promised to cut income taxes and capital gains taxes, said state employees were making too much money, opposed abortion and expansion of birth control access as well as gay marriage, and called for police to stop and question people on the street if they simply looked like they might be illegal aliens. So he won election by a 52-46 margin over his Democratic opponent.

A couple of years later, after Walker’s statehouse allies passed legislation furthering those promises, the Democrats bayed like coyotes, waved their arms, marched around the state capital, listened to Micheal Moore tell them how right they were, and eventually got enough signatures on a petition for a recall.

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Walker

Follow me here: Walker said he was going to do a bunch of stuff. The voters elected him. He pretty much came through on all those promises. So the Dems (and Michael Moore) figured they’d throw him out of office in a recall election. Makes perfect sense, no?

No. Walker won in the recall, beating the same opponent who ran against him two years earlier, by a not-surprisingly similar 53-46 margin.

Brilliant.

Just like the English people voting for their country to leave the European Union and then, when leaving won, squawked that they really didn’t mean it after all. Let’s do it all over again.

Scientists tell us modern humans have been on this planet for some 200,000 years. I don’t believe it. No species that idiotic could have survived so long.

I Am Third

Barnes & Noble is getting into the “third place” racket.

Loyal Pencillistas know I’m a huge third place devotee. I’ve lived much of my life in coffeehouses and saloons. Just off the top of my head, I’ve haunted on a regular basis at various times La Mere Vipere, O’Banion’s, the bleachers at Wrigley Field, MaxTavern, Borderline, Unicorn Cafe, Kafein, Urbus Orbis, Matchbox, the Rainbo Club, Filter, Heine Brothers’, Soma, and Hopscotch. That’s quite the list of dives, joints, salons (as opposed to saloons), frou-frou hangouts, intelligentsia clubhouses, and legal dope dens.

My old pal, the inimitable Sidney T. Feldman, the renowned Frisbee champion, window washer, and man about town, once observed, “You go there all the time because you’re looking for family.” There being whatever third place I was attached to at that particular time — IIRC, it was the Matchbox then. He was right.

That’s really the definition of third place: a destination for people who hunger for kith and kin.

People, primarily men, from the Old World have gathered in third places throughout the millennia.

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Here in Murrica, the third place concept only recently has taken hold. Oh sure, white guys belonged to the Moose Lodge and their wives went to bingo at the church every Wednesday night, but that kind of socialization petered out in the 1960s. A lot of black guys go to barber shops. Drunkards have always congregated but their driving force wasn’t the warm embrace of faux-family but…, well, booze.

Since the 1990’s, though, the coffeehouse has become this holy land’s third place. Not everybody’s on the bandwagon just yet, primarily hipsters, grad students, actors, writers, sharpies, the unemployed, and other reprobates. It’s a motley collection that for some odd reason appeals to much of young America, specifically 30-somethings who have dough to spend and city neighborhoods to pioneer.

That’s where Barnes & Noble comes in, I guess. The book peddler is set to open four new expanded cafe locations in what can only be described as test market sites. B&N will serve food — real food, incl. breakfast, lunch and dinner — at these places.

Sez B&N’s new restaurant honcho, Jaime Carey: “We think they’re going to drive traffic to the store and [keep customers] in the store longer.”

Key to the whole idea, from my vantage point, is the fact that the new cafes will serve beer and wine. That means B&N is begging for people to loiter in their test stores for hours and hours, making friends, reading books, yakking it up, downing glass after glass.

I suppose that’s the only way the third place concept can work in this country. A big fat corporation has to give its blessing.

June 26th Birthdays

Charles Messier — French astronomer who the drew up the Messier Catalog. Messier was a comet-hunter. Time and again he’d come across objects in the night sky that looked like comets but did not move relative to the background stars. He compiled a list of 110 of these objects in his catalog and mapped them. Later, the objects would be identified as galaxies and the individual stars among which they were positioned actually are in the foreground. Tonight, you might try to view the object known as M31, the Andromeda Galaxy, the largest and most distant object visible to the unaided human eye. M31 will be situated between the constellations Pegasus, Cassiopeia, and Andromeda.

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Abner Doubleday — Union general during the Civil War, legend has it he invented baseball. He did not. Acc’d’g to Bill Bryson, author of several books on the English language, sporting goods tycoon Albert Spaulding was appalled to learn that baseball had evolved from the British game, cricket. So he organized  a commission with the express purpose of defining baseball as a distinctly American invention. The commission ruled that the long-deceased General Doubleday had invented baseball in 1839 at Cooperstown, New York, this despite the fact that Doubleday in all his diaries and conversations with close friends, had never mentioned the game of baseball. One of the commission members claimed he’d heard the Doubleday origin story from a man who later wound up in an insane asylum.

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Pearl S. Buck — Nobel- and Pulitzer Prize-winning author of The Good Earth. Her novels, often set in China, introduced that previously mysterious land to the American public. Buck went on to found the world’s first interracial adoption agency.

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Big Bill Broonzy — Long-time blues singer, songwriter, and guitarist, Broonzy’s evolution in the blues triggered one of the biggest developments in American pop music. He stared out singing a countrified version of the blues then, just before World War II, he transitioned to an urban, working class blues popular with blacks living in the northern cities. After the war, Broonzy went back to his country roots. Certain white folk musicians took to Broonzy’s country revival, incorporating his sounds into theirs, leading to the development of rock and roll.

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Broonzy (L) With Muddy Waters

Babe Didrikson Zaharias — Arguably the greatest female athlete of all time. Born Mildred Ella Didrikson, she dropped out of the eighth grade and tried her hand at sports, singing and harmonica playing, and acting. She also was an award-winning seamstress. Zaharias eventually became an elite basketball, baseball, and softball player, diver, roller skater, and bowler. She won several gold and silver Olympic medals in track and field. She competed in pocket billiards, although she did not excel in that sport. She gained her greatest fame as a professional golfer. ESPN has named her the tenth greatest North American athlete of the 20th Century. Legendary sportswriter Grantland Rice called her “the most flawless section of muscle harmony, of complete mental and physical coordination, the world of sport has ever seen.”

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Virginia Satir — Known as the “Mother of Family Therapy,” Satir was a social worker, therapist, and author who developed the idea that many troublesome behaviors in families were the result of how people coped with their problems, not the problems themselves. She also studied the importance of low self esteem in how people related to family members. Her work shifted the emphasis of family therapy from the individual’s psychology to the relationships that person had within the family.

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Violette Szabo — Born Violette Reine Elizabeth Bushell, Szabo became a courageous and adventurous spy for Great Britain during World War II. She twice was parachute-dropped behind enemy lines where she assumed identities as a French citizen. The first time she monitored the effects of German arrests on the French resistance and the second time she worked with local Maquis (informal guerrilla resistance fighters to destroy German communications lines during the D-Day invasion. She was captured on June 10, 1944 and subsequently interrogated, tortured, placed in a concentration camp, and executed.

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Candace Pert — American neurologist and pharmacologist who discovered the human opiate receptor. These proteins are clustered in the brain and are found in the spinal cord and digestive tract. They are responsible for controlling pain and various immune functions as well as creating feelings of well-being and bliss. The Sydney Morning Herald wrote of opiate receptors: “Pert’s discovery led to a revolution in neuroscience, helping open the door to the ‘information-based’ model of the brain which is now replacing the old ‘structuralist’ model.” Her book, Molecules of Emotion, explores the mind-body connection in medicine.

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Hot Air: A Quickie

Turn Heads At The Beach

I’m super busy today; got a lot of work to do on the Charlotte project. So I’ll leave you with a couple of Recovery-related entries:

  1. I dropped off at the recycling center all my empty cans — hundreds of them — of Jevity®, the high-protein nutrition with fiber drink manufactured by Abbott Laboratories. For two months all I had in terms of “food” was Jevity. I dreamed about pizza and lasagna and baked chicken with potatoes and oregano and chocolate ice cream and…, well, you can fill in the rest. I kept all those empties in neat 11-22-2013-10-24-39_57333JEV15can8ozstacks in the garage, just waiting for the day when I could get rid of them all at once. It’d be closure. It’d almost be sacramental. Not only that, I lugged three cases of unopened Jevity along with a couple of boxes-full of syringes for use of stomach tubes to the radiation center. I’d been told that there are more than a few people who can’t afford the stuff. I don’t want them to starve.
  2. Dieting is one of this holy land’s obsessions. Everybody’s too fat (they think). Men want six-pack abs. Women want bikini bodies. The self-help and cookbook shelves at your local Barnes & Noble are sagging under the weight of hundreds of lose weight quick books and fad diet tomes. As a public service, I will now put to rest American humankind’s quest for a slimmer bod. Having experience with two dynamite weight loss programs, I will now testify that the most effective and rapid weight loss methods are the Break-up Diet and the Cancer Diet. You can’t go wrong with either. Numerous times in my love life, I’ve moped around for months, carrying a broken heart. Food? God forbid. I’m too busy mooning and mourning. After every major break-up, I’ve become svelte and lean. And just this year, I went all in on the Cancer Diet. So far I’ve lost 60 pounds. I highly recommend either regimen. And yeah, yeah, yeah, you pay a hell of a high price to shed the librae pondo — so what? Did you expect to get off scott-free?

Hot Air

Bernie’s Deal

Bernie, baby, you carried couple of huge hammers in your Carhartt work pants tool loops as you went into last night’s scheduled meeting with Hillary.

Use ’em properly and do not let them drop to the ground.

Hammer 1) +10 million voters picked you to become the Democratic nominee for president.

Hammer 2) Hillary wants nothing more than to get your endorsement.

Hillary’s the toughest person you’ve ever come up against. She knows how to negotiate. She knows all the tricks. But you don’t need any tricks. You’ve got +10 million supporters and your blessing to bestow upon her. She knows it and she’s ready to do a little hondeling.

You don’t have to hold your breath and you don’t have lose that famous temper of yours. All you have to do is sit back and let her drool over your goodies. She’ll come to you. She’s too smart not to.

My guess is we’ll be seeing an announcement of Bernie’s endorsement sooner rather than later. Then come the July convention we’ll be seeing the kind of Democratic platform the party has blown raspberries at since 1976.

Breaking The Chains

Just a reminder: This is the 151st year of Juneteenth. The remembrance of the horrors of slavery and the celebration of emancipation is this coming Sunday, June 19th.

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Action

The next time there’s a big gathering of caring, outraged folks in response to a mass shooting there’d better be scads of voter registration tables surrounding the crowd and fiery speeches by elected officials laying out specific strategies to counter the NRA’s dominance over Congress and the 50 statehouses.

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Otherwise, all people have done is pat themselves on the back for being caring and outraged.

Oppressors And The Oppressed Who Love Them

Pencillistas, you can hit me over the head with Godwin’s Law all you want but with every passing day Donald Trump aligns himself quite comfortably with the Fascists and tyrants of the first half of the 20th Century.

His decision to bar the Washington Post from his campaign events is only the most recent example. Giving the 86 to WaPo is the equivalent of Hal Steinbrenner forbidding New York Post reporters from entering Yankee Stadium because they’ve written the team is battling to stay out of last place.

Hitler, Mussolini, Stalin, and the rest of the bêtes noires of the last century came to absolute power not only by dint of their willingness to vilify minorities, turn their brutes loose when necessary, and control or quash the press, but because the people egged them on. Whatever they became was the end result of the evil in their own souls and psyches and that in the thousands and millions of citizens who cheered for them.

In fact, their bloodthirst likely was magnified by the mirrors they looked into when they scanned their adoring crowds.

The same thing has happened during the rise of Trump. The more he ejaculated hateful, terrifying verbal excreta, the more his throngs roared and bared their teeth. The love he feels has spurred him on to even more hateful, terrifying blather. The relationship between Trump and his crowds is a textbook example of a positive feedback loop.

Trump may have harbored animus in his heart for the news media before he started running for prez (he’d been savaged in newspaper and magazine articles since the early 1980s) but he never shied from ink. Until now.

Emboldened by his countless idolators, he’s now enjoying the perks of being an autocrat.

Hey there, you Muslims can’t come into our country!

You newspapermen with your embarrassing stories, you’re out!

He wouldn’t have had the stones to utter these things before the salivating crowds emboldened him.

I shudder to think what will come out of his mouth as the lovefest continues into November.

 

Hot Air: Lexicon

Definition

Just in case anybody’s confused, a terrorist is a man (occasionally, a woman) with brown skin who claims Islam as his (her) religion of choice.

That is, the act a terrorist engages in must, by extension, be blamed to some extent or another on the perpetrator’s ethnic heritage and religion.

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A Terrorist — Of Course

On the other hand, a white Christian cannot be a terrorist. When a man (rarely, if ever, a woman) who fits that description blasts the life out of a few — or a few dozens of — people, it is because he is mentally ill or is a dangerously bitter loner. His act has nothing at all to do with whatever incendiary rhetoric his religion has implanted in his consciousness, such as homophobia, misogyny, and so on.

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Not A Terrorist — No Way

The Pope, priests, ministers, deacons, bishops and other officials of the Christian perpetrator’s specific sect must never be declared complicit in the terror act.

It is, though, perfectly acceptable to mutter, shout, or post on social media hate-laden words to the effect that, “All those goddamned ayatollahs are responsible for this!”

Or, “Them Arabs ought to be barred from entering this country!”

This is one of a series of helpful tutorials on the use of American English. You’re welcome.

The Healing Goes On

Treatment for what was once known as My Olive Pit™ (the brand name I retired last month and am bringing back just for this update) has officially come to an end.

I visited Dr. Wu, my radiation oncologist, yesterday. He verified everything Dr. Allerton, my medical oncologist, told me a week ago: That the collection of pits and peas in my neck, the ones that’d been declared malignant in December and January, had shrunk to insignificant size, representing now only scars and burned-out cinders, thanks to the combined effects of the cisplatin poison and electron beams the two docs had ordered my body filled with.

Wu spent only a few rushed minutes with me, a good sign inasmuch as he had littScreen Shot 2016-05-26 at 10.20.42 AMle to examine and even less to plan for. In fact, there will be no more planning on his part — he released me from his care. From now on, Allerton alone will handle the monitoring of my neck. Wu did say that patients who suffer oropharyngeal cancers (medical code for most neck cancers), if they are to suffer a recurrence, typically will display signs of it within six months of the cessation of treatment. So, it will be left to Allerton to schedule me for follow-up CT scans and PET scans over the summer and into fall.

As our session came to a close, I grasped Dr. Wu’s hand and wouldn’t let go. “I want to thank you for everything you’ve done,” I said. “And that includes all your work as a young kid, learning about cancer and nuclear physics. You’ve kept me alive.”

I get the feeling Wu is a tad uncomfortable with emotional displays. He seemed to want to run away as I gushed. That’s fine by me: I’ve never needed him to hold my hand. I’ve only wanted him to know his stuff so well that his ministrations would make my tumors go away without me losing any parts of my voicebox, tongue, throat, or other neck topographic features I’m particularly fond of.

I hope when Wu went to bed last night, he told himself he had at least one great triumph that day. I hope he slept like a baby. BTW: I — the subject of that triumph — slept like a baby last night.

Suspicion

This one’s a puzzler. Loyal Pencillistas know I’ve been spending my evenings — often five and six a week — sitting at the Paynetown State Rec Area overlooking Lake Monroe. I started doing this soon after I became able to drive my car again in late May. Simply sitting and looking at the water, watching for killdeers and blue herons, snapping my eyes to the right or left at the sound of a splash, hoping to get a glimpse of a soaring fish that’s just nabbed a bug from the surface.

It was therapy for me, both mentally and emotionally. I felt better just for being there.

Soon, I’ll get back into bringing Steve the Dog with me to the lake. I can’t right now; I still lack the strength to control him on his leash. Occasionally, The Loved One accompanies me. She did the other day, probably Friday, when we saw him.

Now, I don’t want to be too specific in describing this man in case I’m all wrong about him. But I doubt I am.

When we drove into the point parking lot Friday evening, a man was sitting in a sporty black car with the door wide open. He was parked in a place that wasn’t a spot. It seemed odd but I was too busy driving to take much notice of him.

“Did you see that?” TLO asked, breathlessly.

“No. What?”

“He was jacking off!”

“Aw, you’re crazy.”

“Well, it looked like it,” she concluded.

That was then. Last night I went down to the lot to my customary spot on the gravel and the very end of the peninsula, overlooking the marina, the causeway, and the long expanse of the lake toward the west.

And who was there, in the same spot he was in Friday, again with his door open? Him.

I was parked, say, 40 to 50 yards away from him. He again had his door open and was just sitting in the driver’s seat. Waiting, apparently. But for what?

I started in on my crossword puzzles, keeping one eye open for birds and chipmunks and whatever other fauna might emerge. I’d been hard at work for about a half hour, really oblivious to anything but my clues and nature. I sensed a presence next to my car.

The man in the sporty black car had pulled up next to me, on the passenger side, close enough so taht I felt my territory had been invaded. He grinned at me.

I nodded.

“Hi,” he said and waited a beat. “So, do you come here to read just like I do?”

Which seemed a strange statement because neither time I’ve seen him did the man have a book or a newspaper in his lap. And, of course, if anybody’s been eyeing me, they’d know I was putting pencil to paper, although I wouldn’t expect anyone to know it was the New York Times crossword.

“Yes I do,” I said, because I didn’t care to correct him. In fact, my entire manner was icy. I knew what he wanted.

“Well,” he said, putting his car in reverse, “have a good night.”

“You too.” Even icier.

With that, he backed away and drove off.

So, he was cruising me. I’m sure of it. Almost certain.

The only doubt I have is the remote possibility he was just being a friendly chap, although the odds of a stranger being so filled with bonhomie that he’d want to pull up to cars in a parking lot just to chit-chat seem prohibitive.

Now I’m left wondering: What do I do?

One thing I don’t want is for my little oasis from the world, my safe spot where I began healing, perhaps the prettiest location for miles around, to become a cruising spot. These things grow like weeds. One guy finds an isolated locale, meets another guy there, and the two engage in anonymous sex. Through word of mouth or social media the rest of the down-low gang learns of the man’s score and others start haunting the place.

There’s a whole code of behavior surrounding these trysting spots. How one parks his car — either pulling in or backing in, whether one leaves his door open, how the second man pulls next to the first man, these and many other indicators serve to let all concerned know who are pitchers and who are catchers. And if I have to explain that, you don’t have much of an imagination.

I don’t want him there. I don’t want Paynetown to become a cruise-fest. A couple of the most pleasant places I’ve discovered in Chicago and Louisville have turned out to cruise spots. The area of Lincoln Park with winding drives just north of Montrose Avenue beach in Chi. for one. In Louisville one afternoon, my pal Dan and I were walking in the area just west of the Falls of the Ohio River. We wanted to see how close we could get to the ancient railroad trestle that spanned the Ohio and maybe even climb up on it. Before we got there, though, a man emerged from the bushes and said hello.

Dan and I both recoiled as if he’d shot a water pistol at us. He seemed surprised that we were surprised.

Trust me, men don’t emerge from bushes to say hello to other men unless they want something.

Something neither Dan nor I were interested in providing.

The Q. remained at Paynetown: What do I do?

My first impulse was to drop a dime on the man. I even passed a DNR ranger and was tempted to pull over and report the incident. Then I had second thoughts. What if the ranger had no idea what cruising was? I’d have to stand on my head to explain it all to him and then he might think I was a crank. Another thought occurred to me: What if I’m wrong about the man? What if he’s innocent as a lamb and I described him and his sport black car in minute detail — next thing he’d know, the law would be harassing him.

I drove home and reported the incident to The Loved One. Remember, she’s the one who first thought he was getting himself trigger happy that Friday evening and I pooh-poohed her.

Naturally, she told me I should have reported him.

Now, I’m almost hesitant to go back down to Paynetown.

Damn. Life is so complicated.

June 14th Birthdays

Charles-Augustin de Coulomb — French physicist who established the law of electromagnetic attraction and repulsion. In a sense, his work on the subject explained why things…, well, just are. Materials either attract or repulse each other. So do atoms, molecules, and sub-atomic particles. Lead is lead, livers are livers, and the screen you’re reading this on exist under Coulomb’s Law, an inverse-square formula analogous to Newton’s gravity equation.

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Harriet Beecher Stowe — A prime example of someone using mass media to change the world. Her novel, Uncle Tom’s Cabin, brought the harsh lives of slaves to previously blissfully unaware whites in pre-Civil War America, jump-starting the abolitionist movement.

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John Bartlett — The Massachusetts guy who first published that standard reference tome, Bartlett’s Familiar Quotations. He was a voracious reader, having consumed the entire Bible by the age of nine.

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Robert La Follette Sr. — “Fightin’ Bob La Follette,” from Wisconsin. He opposed the growing influence of corporations over the American government and eventually left the Republican Party to form his own Progressive Party. He ran for president in 1924 and earned 17 percent of the vote, perhaps the strongest third-party showing in history.

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Burl Ives — Beloved singer and actor, known for his 1965 hit, “A Holly Jolly Christmas.” Ives was blacklisted in 1950 for having communist ties. He relented two years later and testified before the House Un-American Activities Committee, naming names. This led to bad blood between him and his former friend, the folk singer Pete Seeger.

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Ernesto “Che” Guevara — This guy:

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Donald Trump — Pustulant anal polyp.

No picture because he sickens me.

On this date in 2105, Anna Nicole Gaylor died — She was an outspoken atheist and strong advocate for reproductive rights. She started the Freedom From Religion Foundation and established a fund to help poor women pay for their abortions in Wisconsin.

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Hot Air

Historic Take

Have you heard historian Ken Burns take the gloves off re: Donald Trump yet? You simply have to. Burns was speaking at the Stanford U. graduation ceremony. Here’s one line that wraps Trump up in newspaper so he can be tossed into the garbage can:

[Trump] is against lots of things but doesn’t seem to be for anything, offering only bombastic and contradictory promises, and terrifying Orwellian statements. A person who easily lies, creating an environment where the truth doesn’t seem to matter.A person who’s never demonstrating any interest in anyone or anything but himself and his own enrichment.

Listen to more from Burns. And remember to vote!

Perfect?

Then again, maybe Trump is a perfect candidate inasmuch as he represents so much that has defined America through the decades…, hell, through the centuries:

  • Greed & acquisitiveness
  • Flamboyant demonstrations of wealth
  • Extreme self-interest
  • Fear of foreigners
  • Wealth as evidence of success in life
  • A loose grasp on truth and reality
  • Remarkable ability to sell snake oil

I could go on and on but you get the picture. Now don’t get me wrong, I believe the United States of America also represents many beautiful and admirable facets of human nature, but Trump seems to be the poster boy for all those things that have created in our nation the current state wherein corporate profit is king and the welfare of the individual is merely an annoyance.

He is, in other words, the paragon of all that is the worst about us.

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This America?

Maybe we need him to run for president at this key juncture in our history, Maybe this year we decide whether we want to be a nation of smug, insulting, showoff braggarts or one of smart, caring, innovative, inclusive, decent souls.

Numbers

I have little to say about the Orlando massacre that hasn’t been said dozens of times by hundreds and thousands of other commentators.

I only have one statement to make:

In America today there are, by one estimate, some 357 million firearms. America’s population, acc’d’g to the US Census Bureau,  is approaching 324 million. Do the math.

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June 13th Birthdays

Charles the Bald (823 AD) & Charles the Fat (839 AD) — A couple of Roman emperors, brothers born on the same date, about whom I have nothing to say; I just wanted to share their monikers.

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Bald (L) & Fat

James Clerk Maxwell (pronounced Clark) — Next to Newton and Einstein, perhaps the most important theorist in the realm of the electromagnetic spectrum which is, essentially, all that there is.

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Paul Lynde — Uncle Arthur on Bewitched and the fabled center square occupant on Hollywood Squares. Go here for a rundown of his most famous quips from that game show.

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Christo & Jeanne-Claude — Husband and wife visual artist team known for creating “environmental” works. He, born Christo Vladimirov Javacheff, and Jeanne-Claude (nee Denat) have wrapped countless natural and human-made landmarks in fabric. They were born on the same day in 1935.

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Audrey Niffenegger — Author of The Time Traveller’s Wife and Fearful Symmetry as well as the graphic novels Three Incestuous Sisters and The Night Bookmobile.

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Hot Air

Hillary, Homicidal Maniac

This just occurred to me. Bernie is 74 years old. He’ll be 75 in September. The average American white male lives to the age of 76.7 years, acc’d’g to the CDC. Bernie’s just about pushing the age at which everything after is just gravy.

Let’s face it, he’s an old bird. If he dropped dead tomorrow, it wouldn’t be that much of a shock, based on life expectancy.

No one can say precisely when this one or that one is going to punch the clock. Hell, Bernie may live to be a hundred.

Hillary’d better hope he does because I’ll guarantee you this: If he cashes in his chips any time between now and November, there’ll be no dearth of people ready, willing, and eager to blame her for it.

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Hillary! Please…, No…, No!

Magical Thinking

Obsessed by a fairy tale, we spend our lives searching for a magic door and a lost kingdom of peace. — Eugene O’Neill

Doesn’t it make sense that a Republican would be a big backer of magic?

The US House is considering a resolution declaring magic a “rare and valuable art form and national treasure.” That would put sleight of hand on a cultural par with, say, jazz or ballet, both of which Congress has recognized as rare and valuable art forms.

House Rules Committee Chair Pete Sessions (R-Texas) is hot to trot for this resolution. His committee decides which bills go to a floor vote.

Some Democrats, meanwhile, are smirking. Mark Takano (D-California), for instance, has tweeted that the Republican Party “believes in magic but not climate change.”

The GOP has sold magical thinking for a good four decades now, maybe more. Saint Ronald Reagan came to power largely by telling the citizenry we ought to go back to those wonderful halcyon days when things were dandy. If we elected him president, he promised, he’d replace the hell we were going to in a hand basket with the 1950s.

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Wizzo The Magician And His Pal Bozo

You know how great the 1950s were, don’t you? Jim Crow. Poll taxes. Homosexuality criminalized. Women in their place (and knowing where that place was). Oh, and the threat of nuclear holocaust hanging over all our heads.

And the American people bought into Reagan’s trick hook, line, and sinker. Twice. His 1984 reelection campaign TV ad began “It’s morning again in America.” The ad went on to show Americans going back to work, making scads of dough, and buying every freaking thing they could lay their hands on. But we all knew the line referred to far more than employment statistics. America’s darkest hours, it implied, were the Democratic Party years of civil rights, the social safety net, universal suffrage, women’s lib, and more.

Finally we woke up from that nightmare to discover we were a country ready to restrict access to abortions and contraception, to allow factories to resume pumping poisons into our lakes, rivers, and air, to smash all those racial quotas that’d helped countless black and brown folks to get promotions and go to college, and to fight any number of wars to help us forget the embarrassment that was Vietnam.

Even today, when Me Party-ists and their ilk howl about “taking our country back,” you know they’re nostalgic for the days when broads and coloreds weren’t so uppity.

And just as magical, the GOP has sold many of us the line that anything that’s good for our nation’s billionaires is good for us. Trickle-down economics, it’s called — and isn’t that the most insulting things you’ve heard in years? Here, we’ve got full buckets; you can have whatever drips spill over the side.

Like I said, magical thinking.

I guess I’ll have to admit with the GOP in charge of both houses of Congress, magic is indeed an art.

June 12th Birthdays

John Roebling — German-born civil engineer who moved to the US and designed the Brooklyn Bridge as well as the bridge bearing his name over the Ohio River that connects Cincinnati with Covington, Kentucky. He never got to see the completed Brooklyn Bridge. While overseeing work on the bridge his foot was crushed by a ferry pulling into dock. He treated the injury with something called “the water cure” which called for water to be poured continuously over the injury. Naturally, he died three weeks after the accident.

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Weegee — Born Ascher Fellig, he was prolific photographer who depicted real life, particularly crime scenes, from the late 1930s through the ’60s in New York City. He was known for arriving at crime scenes often before even the police got there. His ability to be first on the scene earned him his nickname, a slang pronunciation for Ouija, the board game used by many for seeing into the future. Weegee actually had darkroom facilities built into the trunk of his car so he could dash developed photos off to newspapers before anyone else could do so.

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Samuel Z. Arkoff — Perhaps the top B-movie producer of the 1950s, he’s credited with creating the beach party and motorcycle gang genres. He worked with horror film maven Roger Corman early in his career and eventually became vice president of American International Pictures, one of the premier low-budget horror movie studios. Among Arkoff’s masterpieces were Invasion of the Saucer Men, The Amazing Colossal Man, A Bucket of Blood, Panic in the Year Zero!, Beach Blanket Bingo, How to Stuff a Wild Bikini, and Blacula.

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Uta Hagen — Film and stage actress and theater tutor, she was blacklisted in the 1950s primarily because she’d had an affair with black, self-identified communist Paul Robeson. Her books, Respect for Acting and A Challenge for the Actor, are considered standards in theater education.

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Frank McCloskey — Mayor of Bloomington and, later, a member of the US House of Representatives. McCloskey won election to Congress after his incumbent opponent smashed his car into a tree while he was driving drunk. During a fact-finding mission to the Balkans in 1991, McCloskey was struck by the extent of what he characterized the genocide perpetrated by the Serbians against the Croatians. He dedicated the rest of his Congressional career to that issue.

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On this date in 2012, Elinor Ostrom died. An Indiana University professor of political economics, she was awarded the Nobel Prize in 2009 for her work in analyzing economic governance. To this day she remains the only women ever to win the Nobel Prize in Economics.

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Hot Air: Hot Dog

The Shoe Carries The Woman*

Politics is a funny game. Cathi Crabtree, one of our town’s biggest women’s boosters, came into Hopscotch Coffee this afternoon dressed to the nines in a smart navy blue top and black slacks combo. She also wore sandals but carried a pair of blue semi-high heels with her.

She was on her way to a meet-and-greet for Democrats who hope to win the state convention vote to be delegates to next month’s national party convention in Philly. Only she couldn’t make up her mind — should she wear the sandals or the heels? She was hoping to run into Hopscotch peerless leader Jane Kupersmith and ask her which she should wear. Alas, Jane was gone so she had to settle for me.

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Crabtree (L) With Julie Thomas And Hillary Clinton

“Whaddya think?” she asked, putting on one blue pump and leaving a sandal on her other dog.

“Which pair is more comfortable?” I asked.

“I’m okay with either one.”

I scratched my chin. “Go with the blue heels,” I said at last.

“Good. Thanks!” With that, she dashed off to shake hands and make an impression.

Crabtree’s been a diehard Hillary backer from the get-go. So, if and when Clinton wins the November election, I might be able to say I played a role in her history-making ascension to the throne.

A small role.

An infinitesimally small role.

Then again, chaos theory tells us the flap of a single butterfly’s wing in Brazil can set off a tornado in Texas several weeks or months later.

I’ve gotta grab my kudos anywhere I can find them.

[ * The full quote from French luxury footwear designer Christian Louboutin is “A woman carries her clothes but the shoe carries the woman.”]

Heroic Hillary

Columbia College theater maven Albert Williams points out this from Polly Toynbee in The Guardian:

Clinton is not some token woman who has inched into place by offending no one. All her life she has fought the feminist cause, for abortion and for equal rights, fearlessly, right from her college commencement speech. . . . Compare her to Margaret Thatcher, who made her way in a man’s world by refusing ever to espouse women’s causes, a queen bee who kept women out of her cabinet so she could stand out. . . . If women of the left do break into the bastions of power, the sisters often view them as sell-outs to the establishment, as if permanent outsiderdom and victimhood is the only true mark of feminism. Success just isn’t part of the script. To join the establishment isn’t the point, though that’s the only way policies get changed, good laws passed and funds spent on what women need. That’s a wider disease of the left among Sanders and Jeremy Corbyn supporters too. To win is to lose.

Toynbee is about as lefty as you can get w/o wearing Che’s image on her T-shirt to the exclusion of all other daily sartorial choices. She’s a social democrat and a strong supporter of Britain’s Labour Party, mainly because she loathes the Thatcherite Conservatives. Her reasoning is a Labour-Liberal coalition is the best hope to beat that gang.

Toynbee, granddaughter of noted historian Arnold Toynbee, espouses “strategic voting” — that is, you vote with the bloc that comes reasonably close to your philosophies, even if you strongly disagree with some of its positions, in order to defeat a far more unpalatable candidate. In other words, political purism is a losing proposition.

Tragedy Tomorrow, Comedy Tonight

You’ll pardon my mixed references* but the 2016 presidential election becomes more a skit from commedia dell’arte by the moment.

“… [It is] pretty obvious he doesn’t know a lot about the issues,” sez Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell of Donald Trump.

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McConnell, of course, endorsed Trump for president as far back as early May — even though he believes the GOP’s presumptive nominee won’t know what in the goddamned hell he’s doing should he win election.

[ * The headline is a line from the 1962 Broadway musical comedy A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum. The image is of Pantalone, an archetypal character from Commedia dell-arte, whom Encyclopedia Brittanica describes as “a cunning and rapacious… merchant” who “would starve his servant until he barely cast a shadow. If he discharged him, he made certain to do so before dinner” and who was “anxious about his reputation.” In other words, Donald Trump.]

June 11th Birthdays

Ben Jonson — 16th and 17th Century writer, perhaps second only in reputation to Shakespeare among English playwrights. He once described his wife as “a shrew, yet honest.” My favorite title of his: The Devil Is an Ass.

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Millicent Fawcett — 19th Century British suffragist, she fought for, among other things, criminalizing incest and outlawing parental physical abuse of children as well as child marriage and the white slave trade. Her efforts in gaining the vote for women earned her the encomium that she “won citizenship for women.”

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Bartolomeo Vanzetti — One half of the notorious Sacco & Vanzetti. He and Nicola Sacco were anarchists who were active at a time when anarchists, socialists, Bolsheviks, and other such rebels were perceived as real and extremely dangerous threats to America. The two were charged with the murder of a security guard and a paymaster in the botched robbery of a shoe company payroll in 1920. Legal, political, and social commentators around the world protested that the pair had been railroaded after being found guilty in 1921. Sacco & Vanzetti were electrocuted in 1927.

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Jacques-Yves Cousteau — Explorer and conservationist, he invented the aqualung. His film documentaries and books focused the world’s attention on ocean and sea ecology. He once said overpopulation was perhaps the greatest threat to the future of the human race. He suggested that the elimination of disease might not be “altogether beneficial… in the long run.”

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Vince Lombardi — Hard-nosed football coach who supposedly said “Winning isn’t everything; it’s the only thing.” Lombardi was a staunch backer of civil rights for American blacks and, surprisingly, for gay Americans. In the summer of 1968, with Richard Nixon well on his way to the Republican nomination for president, it was suggested Lombardi’d be a fitting choice for his running mate. Lombardi shocked the world by saying he was a “Kennedy Democrat.”

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Lombardi (In Fedora)

Henry Hill — New York City mobster whose biography Wiseguy: Life in a Mafia Family by Nicholas Pileggi was the basis for the Martin Scorsese film Goodfellas. When he died of a heart attack in 2012, his girlfriend told reporters, “He died pretty peacefully for a goodfella.”

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Hill (L) With Ray Liotta

 

Hot Air: Fickle Heart

Loving Ali

I loved Muhammad Ali from the time he refused to be inducted into the US Army and, possibly, serve in Vietnam.

And since he died a week ago today, the nation has been pouring its heart out, proclaiming its everlasting love for him. His public remembrance this morning in Louisville was expected to draw so many people that it had to be held in that town’s big basketball arena, the Yum Center.

The truth of the matter is Muhammad Ali was not always the apple of America’s eye. In fact, he was hated as much as Jesse Jackson was in the 1980s and ’90s or Al Sharpton is today. No, scratch that, Sharpton’s old hat and nobody really sees him as a threat to the nation’s continued health anymore. There really isn’t a universally recognized black bogeyman these days, unless you count Barack Obama, but it’s hard to classify him as a bête noire by acclamation especially after he garnered some 135 million votes, collectively, in the 2008 and ’12 elections.

Ali was viewed as a traitor, a revolutionary, and a scary monster by much of white America from the time he dropped his slave name, Cassius Marcellus Clay, back in 1964.

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Then

It was only when Ali became a semi-invalid that he was embraced by most of the country, whites included. It wasn’t the first time the people of this holy land transformed a black demon into a beloved figure. Martin Luther King, Jr., was re-positioned as a black Santa Claus after he was assassinated. Malcolm X, if not clasped to white America’s bosom, at least became less petrifying after his execution.

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Now

When black men are at their vocal or physical peaks, they scare the hell out of whites. It’s only when they become feeble old men — or corpses — that their paler countrymen can tolerate them.

Kids ‘n Guns

Did you catch this one from a couple of weeks ago? A firearms masturbant named Rob Pincus told a group at the NRA convention in Louisville that the smart family keeps its shootin’ irons in the kids’ room because, in the event of a home invasion, “that’s the first place I’m going to go.”

See, Pincus is imagining himself as a caring, protective daddy-o who, the nanosecond he hears a floorboard creak, is going to dash to little Ashley and Kyle’s room so as to haul out the artillery and defend his blood from the onrushing hordes. Naturally, his pronouncement elicited orgasmic cheering from his pistol-petting audience.

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Rob Pincus, Engaging In The Sex Act

Which I find a tad puzzling. I would have figured a crowd of folks made tumescent by guns would have expected a guy like Pincus, the boss of a big firearms training outfit, to have his pieces in bed with him, the more convenient to rub them against his genitals when the urge arises, and to point and fire at whom- or whatever caused that floorboard to creak. I’d have bet they would boo to learn Pincus actually has to move to another room to fetch his arsenal.

Pincus went on to remind his audience that home invasions are as common as mosquitos on a humid August night. Truth is, however, in any given year nearly three times as many adults are killed by their kids who got ahold of their guns as have been killed by home invaders.

Then again, citing sane stats doesn’t sell as many guns as exaggeration does.

Next thing you know, the NRA will be calling for all citizens to have guns surgically attached to their right hands (in the trigger-pulling position, naturally.)

June 10th Birthdays

Hattie McDaniel — The first African-American to win an Academy Award. She was a noted radio singer before she became a movie star. She appeared in more than 300 films but was credited in only 80 of them. Hollywood to this day has not fully incorporated black and brown people into its firmament.

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Saul Bellow — Nobel Prize-winning American author. Martin Amis called him “the greatest American author.” As he grew older, Bellow turned decidedly conservative, railing against feminism and multi-culturalism. He once said, “Who is the Tolstoy of the Zulus? The Proust of the Papuans? I’d be glad to read him.”

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Maurice Sendak — Author and creator of Where the Wild Things Are. An atheist, Sendak once said, “My gods are Herman Melville, Emily Dickinson, and Mozart.”

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On this date in 1971, Michael Rennie died. Born Eric Alexander Rennie, he was — and only he could be — Klaatu in The Day the Earth Stood Still. Another of 20th Century Fox’s contract actors, Claude Rains, was originally slated to play Klaatu but he turned it down, thankfully. Rennie sold cars in England before deciding to become an actor at the age of 26.

Hot Air: Advice & Dissent

The Big Time

One of our town’s youngest and brightest journalism stars just may be leaving Bloomington for a post with a major NPR affiliate soon.

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I can’t wait to break the good news here, if indeed good news is in the offing.

Play Nice

Maxxwell Bodenheim points out some excellent advice for Hillary in the pages of The Nation. Writer D.D. Guttenplan offers the presumptive Dem nominee for prez five useful tips if she wishes to sweet talk a sufficient number of Bernie supporters to her camp for the Nov. election. They are:

  1. Back off.
  2. Try to be genuinely gracious.
  3. Listen to Bernie
  4. Change the rules, even though they helped you win.
  5. Take the fight to Trump.

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Read the entire piece (it’s not long at all) for details. One good thing: Hillary already seems to have moved on from fingering Bernie as the opposition and has pointed in recent weeks exclusively at Donald Trump.

Detention?

Why did the FBI raid the offices of the Vigo County School Corporation yesterday? The feds, w/ help from the Indiana State Police, seized items but they’re not named. In fact, no info is forthcoming from either the FBI, the ISP, or the school board.

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The first thing that came to my mind was child porn. Did one or more central office employees download kid stuff on corp. computers?

My pal Pat thinks it’s more likely the feds are interested in contract hijinks — kickbacks and bribes in exchange for school corp. business.

Either way, a certain number of public employees in Terre Haute must be walking around these days in a constant state of panic.

June 9th Birthdays

Elizabeth Garret Anderson — The queen of firsts: she was the first female surgeon in England, co-founded the first hospital staffed by women, the first medical doctor in France, and the first female mayor in England.

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Cole Porter — Indiana-born composer and lyricist. The scion of an extremely wealthy Peru, Indiana, family, he lived in Paris for a time, where he married a Kentucky-born heiress. Their apartment was decorated in platinum wallpaper and zebra-skin upholstery.

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Les Paul — Born Lester Polsfuss, Paul helped develop the solid-body electric guitar. He built his first such instrument in 1940, using a block of pine wood to which he affixed a pickup and strings. Historians credit Paul’s innovation with facilitating the development of rock ‘n roll. Paul recorded with his wife, the singer and guitarist Mary Ford.

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Robert McNamara — Former Ford Motor Company president who was named US Sec’y of Defense by John F. Kennedy and continued in that role through most of Lyndon Johnson’s term. McNamara was part of the brilliant, Ivy League-educated group of JFK advisors whom author David Halberstam nicknamed ‘the best and the brightest.” Despite their smarts, these advisors pushed for and succeeded in getting America stuck on the quagmire of Vietnam.

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Patricia Cornwell — Bestselling mystery novelist; she’s sold +100 million books. Her series of novels with lead character Dr. Kay Scarpetta, helped popularize the forensic work of medical examiners. Cornwell had an affair with the wife of an FBI agent in the early 1990s; the affair came to light when the woman’s husband attempted to murder her.

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On this date in the year 68 BCE, Nero died. Born Nerō Claudius Caesar Augustus Germanicus, he succeeded the reasonable, more republican Claudius as emperor of Rome in 54 BCE. The old line about him fiddling while Rome burned was a canard. The violin had not yet been invented at that time. The historian Tacitus writes that Nero was out of town at the time of the fire. In any case, by the time of the fire Nero had become extremely unpopular (justifiably), so rumor mongers were eager to portray him in an unflattering light at any opportunity. Nero decided to kill himself in 68 BCE, but lacked the courage to do so. He begged and ordered any number of advisors, guards, and colleagues to stab him to death. All refused until he finally persuaded his private secretary to kill him.

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Hot Air: Winners

Tomorrow

Yesterday, natch, was one of the greatest days of my life.

Learning all my tumors have been shrunk to near nothingness and what little le sueur peas that do remain exhibit no undue metabolic activity has changed my life in a way that I’m tempted to describe as miraculous.

For the first time since I was diagnosed with cancer back in the fall, I possess a future once again.

There is tomorrow. There is next year. There is the year 2030. With luck and careful management of this decrepit wreck I call my body, I’ll still be alive tomorrow, next year, and even 14 years from now.

I feel young again.

Fortunately, yesterday and today have been spectacularly beautiful days, the sun shining, temps around 80, the sky deep blue, mottled with fleecy white clouds — just like those in one of Georgia O’Keeffe’s cloudscapes. At one point I pulled over and simply sat in my car just so I could stare at the sky. It filled me with the type of frisson I recall from my days as a carefree, careless teenager when I could experience pure joy.

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O’Keeffe’s Clouds

For the first time in months and months, I didn’t worry I was dying of cancer.

Because I’m not. At least not right now. That’s all I’ve got and it’s plenty.

And Now, The Election

Sure, I’d have been happier with a candidate who wasn’t so head over heels in love with the Goldman Sachs hoodlums. And yeah, I would have loved for Bernie to be a more viable candidate for prez. Hell, I voted for the guy in the Indiana primary, primarily because I wanted to endorse his overall platform.

But Hillary is the first goddamned female candidate to gain her major party’s nomination for president. I’m thrilled to pieces with that.

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Victorious

I’ll simply table my harsh criticisms of her until she inevitably finagles legislation to keep our nation’s capital in the hands of degenerate gambler banksters. Don’t worry; I’ll rip her to shreds as she deserves it.

Bernie’s sticking in the race and I’m okay with that. He should go into the convention with a full head of steam and use that leverage to get as many of his ideas and proposals onto the party’s plank as he can. Happily, Hillary in her coronation/glass ceiling speech last night acknowledged that Bernie inspired debate that was “very good for the Democratic Party and for America.”

Now let’s knock off the debate and get behind his very progressive economic and social agenda.

I’d prefer not to have a corporatist as the Dem standard-bearer but I’ll have to make do with what I’ve got. I can only hope the majority of Bernie’s backers swallow their pride and jump on the Hillary bandwagon. The very idea that Donald Trump has a hair’s-breadth chance of becoming the Grand Dragon-in-Chief of this holy land scares the living bejesus out of me. Hillary’s going to need all the votes, all the support, she can muster to make sure we don’t wind up in Trump hell come Nov.

A certain percentage of Sanders cultists will hold their breath until they turn blue and refuse to vote in the election as long as their boy isn’t on the ballot. Some will even vote for Trump, which is madness. But cultists are prone to madness.

Even after Hillary took California yesterday, some Bernie people are still claiming the entire primary process is “fixed,” this despite the fact that Bernie himself was more than happy with Dem primary rules until this year. To hear some Sanders true believers tell it, Hillary is the capo of a criminal enterprise whose tentacles reach far into government, financial institutions, think tanks, academia, and the mainstream media. Witness their certainty that somehow the Hillary campaign forced or directed or conned the Associated Press into making its Monday pronouncement that she’d passed the delegate minimum needed for the nom.

Funny how this woman, purportedly running such an effective, all-powerful political mafia, couldn’t seem to  overcome a near-unknown in 2008 and even this year was unable to beat a self-described Democratic Socialist in so many state contests.

Then again, cultists seem to enjoy seeing the rest of the world unified against them in grandiose, science-fictional conspiracies.

My fondest hope is that Bernie’s cultists are far fewer in number than their loud voices might indicate.

June 8th Birthdays

Alicia Boole Stott — Irish mathematician who specialized in four-dimensional geometry. Here’s a video explaining the fourth dimension. If, after watching it, you aren’t suffering a crushing headache, you possess a greater intellect than I do.

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Frank Lloyd Wright — Perhaps the greatest American architect. His Johnson Wax headquarters in Racine, Wisconsin, is a marvel of innovation, spareness, and lightness. Wright was a notorious philanderer and lost one of his mistresses when a servant at his Taliesin studio axe-murdered her and six other people.

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Eddie Gaedel — Born with dwarfism, Gaedel gained fame when St. Louis Browns owner Bill Veeck signed him to a one-day contract and sent him up as a pinch-hitter in a 1951 game. He went to the plate carrying a toy souvenir bat and walked on four pitches. He was the shortest player ever to appear in a Major League Baseball game.

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William Calley — A symbol of America’s ill-concieved misadventure in Vietnam, Calley, a US Army lieutenant, was convicted of the murder of 22 civilians in the My Lai massacre. His superiors, who may have ordered him to kill the civilians, as well as those who covered up the atrocity, were never brought to justice.

Lt. William Calley arrives for his court martial in 1971 at Fort Benning, Georgia. (Columbus Ledger-Enquirer/MCT)

Scott Adams — Creator of “Dilbert.” Historically a supporter of Republican candidates, Adams has jocularly endorsed Hillary Clinton for president because she has equated Donald Trump with “nuclear disaster, racism, Hitler, the Holocaust, and whatever else makes you tremble in fear.” Should Trump win the election, Adams reasons, he (Adams) would be a likely target for assassination because of his previous support for the Hitler-like character.

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Rob Pilatus — Member of the lip-synching duo, Milli Vanilli, Pilatus descended into drug abuse and deep depression after the act’s charade was exposed. Pilatus died of an alcohol and prescription drug overdose during a 1998 comeback tour in Germany.

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Milli Vanilli: Fab Morvan & Rob Pilatus (R)

Gabrielle Giffords — Lucky to be alive, Gabby Giffords was shot in the head by a psychotic gunman at a 2011 appearance in a Tucson grocery store parking lot. At the time a member of the US House representing the southeast Arizona district, she survived the shooting, suffering brain damage leading to language difficulties and reduced vision in both eyes. The attack resulted in absolutely no new gun control legislation.

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On this date in 1874, Cochise died. The leader of the Chokonen group of the Chiricahua Apache, he was a successful general in the sporadic Apache wars against European invaders in the American Southwest. The Apache guerrilla style of warfare worked to their advantage until the Battle of Apache Pass in 1862, when the US Army used wagon-mounted artillery against a Cochise-led army of 500 men. He later wrote, “My people were winning the fight until you fired your wagons at us.”

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