2016 Presidential Election, Birthers, Canada, Donald Trump, Harvest Moon, Hillary Clinton, Lord Christopher Monckton, Neil Young, Ted Cruz, Wonkette

Your Daily Hot Air

He’s a Furriner

How weird, weird, weird is it that some of those same Birthers and fellow trash can sniffers who turned purple when a brown man was elected Prez — because, after all, BHO couldn’t possibly be a real American — are now pretty cool with Ted Cruz?

That is, with the Tex. Sen. potentially being the CEO of the US Inc. Cruz, who certainly is not shooting down rumors that he’s f’nta run for the Oval O. come 2016, was born in — drum roll, please — Canada.

Hoser

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Which, last I checked, is not part of the United States. Although, being predominantly white, maybe it is at that.

Donald Trump and some doorknob polisher named Lord Christopher Monckton, both of whom transformed themselves into dicks (in the 1940s, savvy-dame-snafu sense of slang as diminutive for detective, ironically) to hunt down proof of Barack Obama’s real place of birth in Kenya or Abortiastan, are big, big, big on a Great White North Presidency. Emphasis on the word…, aw, you know.

h/t to Wonkette for pointing this all out. Ironically, I had no idea Rafael Edward “Ted” Cruz wasn’t born in this holy land. Then again, I studiously avoid reading anything at all about the gun-loving, gay-marriage-hating North American moose.

I get the sense that constitutional experts think Cruz being born north of the 49th Parallel should be no impediment to his presidential ambitions. Apparently, as long as his Mom was a US citizen and had lived in the Greatest Nation This Earth Has Ever Seen for 10 years prior to his emergence, he’s cool to be the Boss.

Eligible

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Which, fascinatingly enough, should have shut all those Birthers the hell up even if Barack Obama was born in the Kremlin or Mau-Mau-ia. His Mom, after all, was a Kansan, which I know for a fact is in Murrica.

Ah, none of it matters anyhow; Hillary Clinton is a lock to be the next White House target of Right Wingnut Nation.

Anybody care to risk a C-note on that proposition?

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Harvest Moon

Speaking of Canadians.

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07/09/2013

Your Daily Hot Air

Flying Saucers And Pink Dresses

Yesterday, of course, was the 66th anniversary of the fabled crash of the UFO into the desert in southeast New Mexico.

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It seems that UFO conspiracy theories have petered out in recent years because we have better, juicier fever dreams to keep folks with hyper-active imaginations awake at night. Keep in mind that Dick Cheney personally directed the 9/11 attacks and Barack Obama was bred by foreign Muslims to take over this holy land. These two fairy tales are a tad more urgent and compelling than a government cover-up of the crash of the family flying saucer driven by some drunken ET teenagers out for a joyride. (h/t to Maxwell Bodenheim of Forest Park, Illinois, for this explanation.)

Joyrider

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Anyway, the 50th anniversary of the second oldest conspiracy theory I can think of is fast approaching and this one just may overshadow, at least for a time, the sins of Cheney and Obama. That is, the assassination of John F. Kennedy on November 22nd, 1963. (The oldest consp/theo is probably the plot by FDR and the Imperial Japanese Navy General Staff to stage Pearl Harbor so’s the USA could jump that much more quickly into WWII. I’m telling you, these conspirator types are brilliant.)

The JFK theory tied together pretty much all the bogeymen that scared the poo out of the widest range of the American citizenry in the mid-60s. The Russkies, Castro, the Mob, right wing generals, the CIA, LBJ, Nixon, the federal reserve, representatives of huge defense contractors, and even anti-Castro exiles met in some secret location to get their stories straight on the impending whacking of the Prez. Not only was this gang brilliant, their ability to coordinate such a massive planning confab — flights had to be booked, hotel rooms reserved, boxed lunches brought in; all in secret — was awe-inspiring. Just getting Castro and his exiled opponents in the same conference room must have been nothing short of a miracle.

LBJ And The Man He Whacked

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The city of Dallas is planning a big shindig for the 50th to be held smack-dab in Dealey Plaza, where the hit took place. It’s not known if organizers will stage a reenactment but I’d bet against it. OSHA regulations put in place since the assassination probably would preclude having an actress in a pink Chanel suit climb on the trunk of the limousine.

Imagine, though, the field day the conspiracy theorists are going to have, come this fall. Already, Bill O’Reilly’s two assassination-porn books, Killing Lincoln and Killing Kennedy, are New York Times bestsellers. Sales of the latter likely will go through the roof starting in September.

Here are a few fun facts about Jackie Kennedy’s famous dress. It’s in a vault in Maryland, embargoed until the year 2103. Jackie’s mom sent the suit and the purse her daughter carried that fateful day to the National Archives shortly after the assassination. The suit has never been cleaned. Oh, and Coco Chanel, despite never having commented on the fact that one of her creations had suddenly become a gruesome icon, did say some years later that, because of her penchant for wearing miniskirts, Jackie “wears her daughter’s clothes.”

Jackie And The Pink Suit

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Coco sure knew what the important things in life were, no?

A website dealing with all things Jackie actually has an entire page devoted to the pink suit.

And, natch, the chic ghoul can buy a replica pink suit on eBay; it’s a steal at $189.99.

That pink pillbox hat Jackie wore? It’s missing.

One of the archivists in charge of the suit said a couple of years ago, “It looks like it’s brand new, except for the blood.” Which is like saying December 7th, 1941 was a perfect day in Oahu, except for that mess down by the docks.

I was seven years old when Lee Harvey Oswald did his thing. I was vaguely aware of the existence of President Kennedy. I only knew the nuns at St. Giles had red-rimmed eyes when they told us we were to go home that gray Friday afternoon. My second-grade classmates and I momentarily believed the word assassination signified something really good, considering we’d never heard it before and it allowed us to bolt school early.

When I got home, my mother was compulsively vacuuming in front of the TV. She was crying. I’d never seen her cry before. I figured she personally knew JFK. Otherwise, why would she be so busted up that he’d died?

That, I can safely say, was a loss of innocence. Believe me, we’re going to be sick to death of hearing that phrase by November.

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Abraham, Martin & John

To this day, this song brings tears to my eyes. It was released soon after Martin Luther King, Jr was assassinated in 1968.

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07/02/2013

Your Daily Hot Air

Sometimes I think World Net Daily was made up just for me.

For my entertainment. For my edification. For my sense of superiority over the gang of lunatics that puts it out.

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Maybe this is what I’m missing out on by not being a sexist slob or a racist. Scads of folks across this holy land seem to feel they are better than others simply because said others either possess vaginas or dark skin. It must feel good to know in your heart that women are weak and stupid and blacks are criminal and lazy — and you’re not one of them.

Superiority must be a trip, right? Otherwise, what’s the point of being a sexist and/or racist?

So yeah, I feel superior — moral- and intellectual-wise — to the jabbering chuckleheads who populate the WND universe.

The WND pantheon includes busts of that great philosopher Chuck Norris, who has fap-fantasized about becoming the president of the Republic of Texas after it secedes (oh, please!), and the redoubtable Jerome Corsi. You may recall Corsi swearing up and down during the 2004 presidential campaign that John Kerry had faked his Vietnam wounds. And, more recently, he has posited that Barack Obama is some kind of a Kenyan fag abortionist or something.

Chuck Norris And Friends

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The WND faithful also are regularly treated to the screechings of Phyllis Schlafly and David Limbaugh (who almost makes big bro Rush sound occasionally sane).

Yeesh.

WND is chock full of ads for gold (the preferred safe investment harbor for survivalists), magical vitamins and elixirs, fountains of youth, and even for the newly-martyred Paula Deen. The fly on this pile of horseshit is none other than former baseball pitcher John Rocker, who pens a regular op-ed column for the site.

John Rocker, for chrissakes!

Anyway, wouldn’t you know it, last week’s US Supreme Court decision to coerce all good, white, straight men into butt sex has the WND crew all aflutter.

Some self-described Christian lawyer named Matt Barber, a regular WND contributor, is convinced he’s going to be imprisoned sooner rather than later as a direct result of the gay marriage ruling. And you know what happens in the joint, don’t you?

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Anyway, Barber recounts a hand-wringing email exchange he had with another self-avowed Christian lawyer, who remains nameless in his Monday column. After speculating that the gay marriage OK will lead to the obligatory state-sanctioned unions of brothers and sisters (ick) and rampant polygamy (just a tad less ick), Barber’s pen pal pronounces:

In my 35 years as a Christian, I never seriously believed we might end up in prison for our faith — except, perhaps, for something like a pro-life demonstration. This is the first time it seriously occurs to me that the trajectory of the nation is such that it is possible in five to 10 years.

Because, as you are well aware, the Christians are such an oppressed minority in this country.

Barber couldn’t agree with his friend more. He writes:

Do I believe Christians will face real persecution, such as loss of livelihood, civil penalties, physical abuse or even jail? Absolutely.

So, there you have it. Gay marriage equals Christian concentration camps.

And, yeah, I’m superior to these howler monkeys, moral- and intellectual-wise.

It does feel good. Thanks, WND.

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Borrowers, Lenders & The Mob

Margaret, the Big Cheese at the Book Corner, Bloomington’s only independent bookseller where I peddle ’em Mondays through Wednesdays, will probably clunk me in the head for this one but, I gotta tell you, I’m becoming addicted to the library.

Not The Library

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I’m reading a couple of books a week now, mainly because I’ve been borrowing from the Monroe County Public Library. I have zero idea why I haven’t done this before.

Think of it: your town or big city has within it a system wherein you can take books, CDs, or DVDs home for your personal use — for free. All you have to do is flash a library card.

You may say, Sure, Big Mike, we know all about it, but when’s the last time you did it?

I mean, even the fire department charges your survivors for sending an ambulance over when your heart explodes from a lifetime of sliders and Pop Tarts. The library doesn’t charge you a penny. How can it be that there isn’t a line around the block when the place opens in the morning?

Anyway, I’m just finishing up a book called When Corruption Was King, written by Robert Cooley with help from former Chicago Magazine editor Hillel Levin. Cooley was a mobbed up, kinky lawyer who was in bed with legendary Chicago First Ward bosses Pat Marcy and Fred Roti, who did the bidding of the city’s Outfit.

Alderman Fred Roti

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The Outfit, of course, is Chicagoese for the Mafia, La Cosa Nostra, wiseguys, goodfellas, or whatever Hollywood wants to call organized crime. According to Cooley, the Outfit, through Marcy et al, controlled Cook County’s courts, much of the Chicago Police Department, and too many city agencies to list here. Suffice it to say if you wanted a quick building permit, a zoning variance that the neighbors had been fighting tooth and nail, or just to get your teenaged kid off for denting the skull of some hapless Puerto Rican with a baseball bat, your lawyer paid a visit to Pat Marcy and slipped a nickel or a few dimes into his pudgy hand.

A nickel, in Chicago parlance, is $500. A dime, natch, is a grand.

So, the First Ward boys were the extra-legal funnel through which all smart city business flowed. Marcy and crew took care of the average citizen in the know as well as the big boys who ran the city’s gambling, vice, and narcotics operations, among other colorful pastimes. Most Chicago crime experts believed Marcy was a “made guy,” meaning he was an officially approved member of the Outfit. And, no, the Chicago mob didn’t have any elaborate ceremonies and rituals, the likes of which were portrayed in The Godfather and every other crime movie made since. In fact, the Outfit was an equal opportunity employer, welcoming members of every ethnic group imaginable into its ranks, so long as they were good earners and were willing to snap a guy’s thumb when called upon to do so.

Fiction

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Cooley revealed the fixing of murder cases and the buying of state legislation through efforts of Marcy and his guys. Big circuit court judges who’d previously nurtured reputations as law-and-order hard-asses were in truth, Cooley and Levin wrote, guys who’d fix any case for a buck.

See, Cooley was a big player in these shenanigans until, he says, he got fed up, had a change of heart, and walked into the US Justice Department’s Chicago office unannounced and told the feds he wanted to play ball with them. Cooley then wore a wire when he did business with the First Ward boys. The evidence he amassed led to dozens of arrests and convictions and the eventual dismantling of the First Ward pigsty.

Cooley’s no Raymond Chandler or even John Grisham but his story is as riveting as anything they could come up with.

And, by the way, the kind of pervasive corruption that Cooley helped bring down in Chicago’s First Ward may be a thing of the past now but it was built upon the passing of cash from one hand to another.

The last I heard, cash still buys things. Enough of it can still buy permits, justice, and legislation. Only now, the system is nationwide, or even global, as opposed to Pat Marcy’s petit-realm. Look at the so-called Monsanto Protection Act for proof.

We need a new Robert Cooley.

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10/27/2012

1 Comment

Abortion, Birthers, Business Insider, CNN, Colin Powell, Eric Holder, Gayle Cook, John H. Sununu, Richard Mourdock, Saddam Hussein, Terri Schiavo, United Nations

The Pencil Today:

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THE QUOTE

“Though this nation has proudly thought of itself as an ethnic melting pot, in things racial we have always been and continue to be, in too many ways, essentially a nation of cowards.” — Eric Holder

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PICK YOUR PRESIDENT

Get out of bed, splash some water on your face, throw your sweatclothes on, and go vote.

Yup, you can do it today. Special Saturday hours at The Curry Building, 214 W. Seventh St. are 9am-4pm.

Why wait?

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SUNUNU NEWS

Yes, the Republicans are incredibly good at sticking their feet in their mouths.

And even when they’re not misspeaking, their heartfelt utterances are enough to scare the rest of us half to death. For instance, I have no doubt Richard Mourdock honestly and truly believes what he said the other night about rape babies being conceived because god intends it. If I had a womb, I’d be sleeping with the lights on at this point.

But sometimes they speak real truths. It makes me feel all soiled to say it but John H. Sununu’s take on Colin Powell’s endorsement of Barack Obama is just such a case.

The Sudden “Liberal”

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Sununu, the first President Bush’s chief of staff and now a spokesmodel for the Romney campaign, told CNN Thursday night that Powell is backing the Prez because they’re both black.

Oh, my side of the fence is going bananas over that one. How dare he say such a thing! the wisdom goes.

To which I say, Bah!

Look, Colin Powell was such a loyal Republican that he allowed himself to be trotted out before the world and the United Nations with the Bush Administration’s flimsy argument that Saddam Hussein was cooking up weapons of mass destruction during the lead-in to our misguided war with Iraq.

Just Trust Us, Okay?

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He served as Secretary of State under a president so divisive and partisan that he made Ronald Reagan look like a professional arbitrator.

Now all of a sudden he’s behind a Democrat who’s so vilified by the Republicans that a significant percentage of them don’t believe he was born in this country and many of their theorists suggest he’s out to destroy the land he presides over.

I don’t buy it. Sununu’s right. Powell’s backing Barack because they share skin color.

Sununu’s mistake was speaking such a harsh truth out loud. We’re the ones who should be embarrassed because we can’t take it.

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FUN WITH NUMBERS

Gayle Cook is now the richest human being in Indiana.

So says Business Insider in the online mag’s feature this week on the wealthiest person in each of the 50 states.

Bill Cook’s widow can spend her days and nights counting 3.4BB bucks, according to BI’s estimate of her wealth.

Let’s pretend she can magically transform all that wealth into so much cash in the snap of a finger. Then let’s say she decides to go on a spending spree. Say she sets a goal of spending $10,000 a day, just for kicks. She can buy anything she wants every day as long as she doesn’t exceed that 10k limit.

Reimagining Gayle As A Drunken Sailor

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She could, for instance, buy sirloin steak for herself and all her friends as well as a decent number of Bloomingtonians today. At about $6.47 a pound, she’d be able to purchase 1545.6 pounds of the juicy stuff. That’s just in a day, I might remind you.

Say instead, she wanted to fill as many people’s cars up at the gas station as her ten grand would allow. Last I checked, gas was going for $3.45 a gallon here in Bloomington. Assuming all her pals’ hot rods need an average of 10 gallons to top off, she’ll be able to make some 299 people deliriously happy.

We’re talking dough, right?

Even at that rate of expenditure, Gayle Cook would need some 931 years to burn through all her cash.

Sheesh.

Here are some other folks who are the richest in their states:

Idaho’s Frank VanderSloot is worth $1.2BB. He’s the CEO of Melaleuca, a company that runs a multi-level marketing racket based on an iffy tree oil potion. By the way, VanderSloot has thrown about a million bucks Mitt Romney’s way so far this year.
Tennessee’s Thomas Frist is worth $3BB. He helped Harlan Sanders start Kentucky Fried Chicken and then went on to start up the Hospital Corporation of America, the largest for-profit hospital operator on the globe. Daddy-o Thomas’s kid is Tennessee Senator Bill Frist. Remember him? He was the guy who determined celebrity vegetable Terri Schiavo to be taking a nap back in 2001 merely by glancing at some video footage of her.
Illinois’ Sam Zell is worth $3.9BB. He purchased the Tribune Company back in 2008. The Tribune newspaper is driving itself out of business and the Tribune’s former property, the Chicago Cubs, are, well, the Chicago Cubs.
Michigan’s Richard DeVos, Sr. is worth $5.1BB. He founded the nation’s biggest multi-level marketing racket, AmWay.
John Menard of Wisconsin is worth $6BB. He founded the Menard’s home improvement chain and threw scads of money at Gov. Scott Walker to support his union-busting efforts. Menard also counts the Koch Boys as close pals.
Oregon’s Philip Knight is worth $13BB. His Nike outfit sells shoes for a hundred dollars-plus a pop even though they’re worth pennies in materials and are manufactured by tots who are chained in galley ships and are whipped by former gladiators.
Virginia’s Forrest Mars is worth $17BB. His Mars candy company makes Snickers bars. He’s worth every penny he has.

Nougat, Peanuts, Caramel, Chocolate — Genius!

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Nevada’s Sheldon Adelson is worth $20.2BB. He is Satan incarnate.
David Koch of Kansas is worth $32.1BB. Oops, I made a mistake. He’s Satan incarnate.

From all I hear, Gayle Cook’s a good soul, as was her husband. Can’t say the same about the rest of them (although Forrest Mars deserves the Nobel Prize in Candymaking.)

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The only events listings you need in Bloomington.

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Saturday, October 27th, 2012

FOOD ◗ City Hall, Showers Building parking lot — Farmers Market; 8am-1pm

VOTE TODAY ◗The Curry Building, 214 W. Seventh St.; 9am-4pm

BENEFIT WALK ◗ IU Memorial Stadium — 2012 Bloomington Out of the Darkness Walk for Suicide Prevention & Awareness; 9am-noon

CLASS ◗ Monroe County Public Library — VITAL English as a Second Language tutor training, 1st of 2 sessions; 10am

STUDIO TOUR ◗ Brown County, various locations — The Backroads of Brown County Studio Tour, free, self-guided tour of 16 local artists’ & craftspersons’ studios; 10am-5pm, through October

POETRY & BOOKS ◗ Various locations around IU campus & Bloomington — Sylvia Plath Symposium 2012, celebrating 50 years since the publication of her “Ariel” collection, Through Saturday, Today’s highlights at IU Woodburn Hall:

Theme: 50 Years of “Ariel” and “The October Poems“
Karen Kukli on PLath’s archival references to “Fever 103“; 10-10:50am
Linda Adele Goodine on the video, “Bee Asana: Healing of Plath,” & the “Seneca Honey Series” photos; 11-11:50am
Suzie Hanna & Tom Simmons on the animated film, “Girl Who Would Be God“; Noon-12:50pm
Julie Goodspeed-Chadwick on cultural/medico/political aspects of trauma & narrative in “Ariel“; 2-2:25pm
Lynda K. Bundtzen on Plath’s “Bee Sequence” poems; 2:30-3:20pm
Langdon Hammer 0n Plath’s German “Daddy” & “Lorelei“; 3:30-4:20pm
Heather Clark & Anita Helle on Otto Plath’s FBI files & scientific works; 4:30-5:20pm
Heather Clark, Langdon Hammer, Anita Helle, & Peter K. Steinberg on archiving Otto Plath; 5:25-5:55pm
Linda Gates’ “Mushroom” puppetry & Caroline Harris, Matt Kuyawa, Marek Pavlovski, & Sophie Rich drama dialog of “Blood Jet Is Poetry: The Shared Poetic Language of Sylvia Plath and Ted Hughes,” discussion led by Laura Passin; 6-7:30pm
Book Signing; 7:30pm

LECTURE ◗ IU Swain Hall West — “Mars: Update on the Curiosity Probe,” Presented by IU Geology Department chair Lisa Pratt; 11am-noon

ARTS FEST ◗ Foxfire Park, Nashville — Fall Fine Arts Festival; 11am-6pm

LECTURE ◗ IU Swain Hall West — Physics professor Harold Ogren talks about the Higgs Boson; Noon-1pm

OPERA ◗ IU Musical Arts Center — Indiana District round of Metropolitan Opera National Council auditions; Noon

MUSIC ◗ Muddy Boots Cafe, Nashville — Robbie Bowden; Noon

BENEFIT ◗ Ellington Stables, 680 W. That Rd. — Adoption Day, For Horse Angels Rescue abused & neglected horse care program; 1-5pm

SPORTS ◗ IU Field Hockey Complex — Hoosier women’s field hockey vs. Ohio State; 1pm

LECTURE ◗ IU Swain Hall West — Political science professor Bill Bianco American & Russian cooperation in the International Space Station; 1-2pm

HALLOWE’EN ◗ Haunted Hayride and Stables — Friendly hayrides; 1-7pm

MUSIC ◗ IU Auer Hall — Pre-College Strings Halloween Concert; 1-2pm

STAGE ◗ IU Wells-Metz Theatre — “Richard III“; 2pm

DANCE & BENEFIT ◗ Buskirk Chumley Theater — “Thrill the World 2012,” Dozens dance Michael Jackson’s “Thriller,” For Cardinal Stage Company; 2pm

STORYTELLING ◗ IU Art Museum — Spooky Stories in the Gallery, Presented by Bloomington Storytellers Guild; 2-4pm

HALLOWE’EN ◗ Lake Monroe, Paynetown SRA — Ghostly Gathering, party, campsite decorating contest, trick or treat, costume contest, “ghost” hunt; 2:30pm through Sunday at 5pm

FILM ◗ IU Cinema — “Bride of Frankenstein” & “Freaks“; 3pm

MUSIC ◗ IU Ford-Crawford Hall — Pre-College Harp Halloween Recital; 3-5pm

BENEFIT ◗ St. Paul Catholic Center — Great American bake Sale, For Share Our Strength childhood hunger program; 4:30pm

MUSIC ◗ Bloomington High School North — “Symphonic Spooktacular,” Presented by the Bloomington Symphony Orchestra; 5pm

MUSIC ◗ IU Ford-Crawford Hall — Senior Recital: Janessa Reames, soprano; 5pm

BENEFIT ◗ Cardinal Stage Company Building — “Cast a Spell” adult halloween party; 6-10pm

MUSIC ◗ IU Auer Hall — Doctoral Recital: Li-An Chen on piano; 6pm

PERFORMANCE ◗ Rachael’s Cafe — Different Drummer Belly Dancers; 6-8pm

FILM ◗ IU Fine Arts Theater — Ryder Film Series: “All Together“; 7pm

SPORTS ◗ IU Gymnasium — Hoosier volleyball vs. Michigan; 7pm

MUSIC ◗ Muddy Boots Cafe, Nashville — Little Merrie Simmons; 7-9pm

HALLOWE’EN ◗ Haunted Hayride and Stables — Scary hayrides; 7-11pm

HALLOWE’EN ◗ Bakers Junction Railroad Museum — Haunted train; 7pm

HALLOWE’EN ◗ Frank Southern Ice Arena — Skate & Scare, skating, haunted house, cider, trick or treat; 7pm

MUSIC ◗ IU Ford-Crawford Hall — Senior Recital: Cameron Smith on trombone; 7pm

FILM ◗ IU Cinema — Ultra-Low Budget Double Feature: “The Gamers: Dorkness Rising” & “Beverly Lane“; 7pm

STAGE ◗ IU Wells-Metz Theatre — “Richard III“; 7:30pm

FILM ◗ IU Woodburn Hall Theater — Ryder Film Series: “All Together“; 8pm

MUSIC ◗ IU Auer Hall — Faculty & Guest Recital: William Ludwig on bassoon, Kay Kim on piano; 8pm

MUSIC ◗ Rachael’s Cafe — Jerome & the Psychics, Agent Ribbons, The Gypsies; 8:30-11pm

MUSIC ◗ The Bluebird — Jon McLaughlin; 9pm

STAGE ◗ Bloomington High School South — Comedy, “Once Upon a Mattress”; 7:30pm

HALLOWE’EN FILM ◗ Buskirk Chumley Theater — “Rocky Horror Picture Show“; 7:30pm

MUSIC ◗ Cafe Django — Post Modern Jazz Quartet; 8pm

COMEDY ◗ The Comedy Attic — Michael Winslow; 8pm

MUSIC ◗ The Player’s Pub — The Dynamics Halloween Party; 8pm

STORYTELLING ◗ Max’s Place — — “Bone-Chilling Stories,” Presented by the Bloomington Storytelling Project; 8pm

FILM ◗ IU Memorial Union, Whittenberger Auditorium — UB Films: “The Campaign“; 8pm

FILM ◗ IU Fine Arts Theater — Ryder Film Series: “Side by Side“; 8:30pm

HALLOWE’EN ◗ Serendipity Martini Bar — Bloomington Burlesque Brigade’s Halloween Horror Show; 10pm

COMEDY ◗ The Comedy Attic — Michael Winslow; 10:30pm

MUSIC ◗ The Bishop — Players Ball; 11pm

FILM ◗ IU Memorial Union, Whittenberger Auditorium — UB Films: “The Campaign“; 11pm

HALLOWE’EN FILM ◗ Buskirk Chumley Theater — “Rocky Horror Picture Show“; 11:30pm

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ONGOING:

ART ◗ IU Art Museum — Exhibits:

“New Acquisitions,” David Hockney; through October 21st
“Paragons of Filial Piety,” by Utagawa Kuniyoshi; through December 31st
“Intimate Models: Photographs of Husbands, Wives, and Lovers,” by Julia Margaret, Cameron, Edward Weston, & Harry Callahan; through December 31st
“French Printmaking in the Seventeenth Century;” through December 31st
Celebration of Cuban Art & Film: Pop-art by Joe Tilson; through December 31st
“Threads of Love: Baby Carriers from China’s Minority Nationalities“; through December 23rd
“Workers of the World, Unite!” through December 31st
“Embracing Nature,” by Barry Gealt; through December 23rd
“Pioneers & Exiles: German Expressionism,” through December 23rd

ART ◗ Ivy Tech Waldron Center — Exhibits:

“Ab-Fab — Extreme Quilting,” by Sandy Hill; October 5th through October 27th
“Street View — Bloomington Scenes,” by Tom Rhea; October 5th through October 27th
“From the Heartwoods,” by James Alexander Thom; October 5th through October 27th
“The Spaces in Between,” by Ellen Starr Lyon; October 5th through October 27th

ART ◗ IU SoFA Grunwald Gallery — Exhibit:

Buzz Spector: Off the Shelf; through November 16th
Small Is Big; Through November 16th

ART ◗ IU Kinsey Institute Gallery — Exhibits:

“A Place Aside: Artists and Their Partners;” through December 20th
“Gender Expressions;” through December 20th

PHOTOGRAPHY ◗ IU Mathers Museum of World Cultures — Exhibit:

“CUBAmistad” photos

ART ◗ IU Mathers Museum of World Cultures — Exhibits:

“¡Cuba Si! Posters from the Revolution: 1960s and 1970s”
“From the Big Bang to the World Wide Web: The Origins of Everything”
“Thoughts, Things, and Theories… What Is Culture?”
“Picturing Archaeology”
“Personal Accents: Accessories from Around the World”
“Blended Harmonies: Music and Religion in Nepal”
“The Day in Its Color: A Hoosier Photographer’s Journey through Mid-century America”
“TOYing with Ideas”
“Living Heritage: Performing Arts of Southeast Asia”
“On a Wing and a Prayer”

BOOKS ◗ IU Lilly Library — Exhibit:

“Outsiders and Others: Arkham House, Weird Fiction, and the Legacy of HP Lovecraft;” through November 1st
“A World of Puzzles,” selections from the Slocum Puzzle Collection

PHOTOGRAPHY ◗ Soup’s On — Exhibit:

Celebration of Cuban Art & Culture: “CUBAmistad photos; through October

PHOTOGRAPHY ◗ Monroe County History Center — Exhibit:

“Bloomington: Then and Now,” presented by Bloomington Fading; through October 27th

ARTIFACTS ◗ Monroe County History Center — Exhibits:

Doctors & Dentists: A Look into the Monroe County Medical Professions
What Is Your Quilting Story?
Garden Glamour: Floral Fashion Frenzy
Bloomington Then & Now
World War II Uniforms
Limestone Industry in Monroe County

The Ryder & The Electron Pencil. All Bloomington. All the time.

04/22/2012

The Pencil Today:

✍

THE QUOTE

“We are just an advanced breed of monkeys on a minor planet of a very average star. But we can understand the universe. That makes us something very special.” — Stephen Hawking

♢

THE TRADITIONS OF THE LITTLE 500

One of the Boys of Soma, who asked not to be identified, revealed Saturday morning that he did not find any passed-out drunk IU students on his front porch, as he usually does every year during Little 500 weekend.

He did say he found a number of slices of pizza on the lawn, though.

The Delta Gamma sorority won the women’s Little Five on Friday. The Indiana Daily Student reports that three ancient Greek letters won the men’s race Saturday afternoon. The Cyrillic alphabet of the Slavic languages is expected to appeal the result.

Controversy After This Year’s Little 500

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♢

KIDS ASK THE DARNEDEST THINGS

Mark off Tuesday, April 24th, on your calendars. Bloomington’s teenagers that evening will hold the Democratic candidates’ feet to the fire in a debate between the five contenders at Bloomington High School South.

The Kids Take Over

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Students from both South and North will hurl question at Gen. Jonathan George, John Griffin Miller, Col. John Tilford, Robert Winningham, and Shelli Yoder for an hour and a half beginning at 7:00pm.

The Indiana primary will be held Tuesday, May 8th, with the winner among the five Democrats going against first-term Republican Todd Young in November.

The things that make most high school kids annoying should come in quite handy in the debate. Corporate media animals generally ask polite or at least irrelevant questions. The kids, though, being direct and irreverent, ought to pepper the candidates with queries about the schools, the environment, our endless wars, taxes, and other things that, like, y’know, affect us.

Todd Young looks like a good bet to keep his seat in the general election but I can always hope.

♢

IT’S A MAD, MAD, MAD, MAD COUNTRY

Gather all the children and bring them indoors. Lock your doors and windows and pull down the shades.

This holy land has officially and incontrovertibly gone mad.

Orly Taitz is running for the United States Senate from California.

Taitz

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Taitz is challenging the Golden State’s senior senator, Dianne Feinstein, who’s been in office since 1992. California runs a blanket non-partisan primary for statewide elective office. The candidates who finish first and second in the June 5th primary will face each other in the November general election.

I have no idea how this one got past me. Apparently, Taitz has been running since early November, when she told some EPA-hating, Ann Coulter-carrying news aggregator website about her plans. The announcement of her candidacy did not cause the nation’s news media to activate the Emergency Alert System.

I may even have seen a quickie story on her quixotic run but the rational part of my brain reflexively interpreted it as an Onion-style satire.

Really, everything about Taitz seems to be an Onion satire. For instance, when she was considering her run for the Senate back in September, she told the Sacramento Bee that one of the reasons she has a good chance to win is that she speaks Hebrew.

Hebrew?

Perhaps she once watched the Cecil B, DeMille epic “The Ten Commandments” and upon learning it was made in Hollywood, concluded that biblical Israel was really in California.

This Occurred Near Anaheim

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I mean, what else could explain Taitz-ness other than her and her followers’ inability to distinguish between reality and fiction?

Taitz’s claim to fame is her role as “Queen of the Birthers.” She’s certain Barack Obama has falsified his birth certificate, his Social Security number, and his college transcripts, among other nefarious acts, to become the first secret Muslim mole elected president. She believes Obama comes from Kenya, which is fitting because she comes from the moon.

Orly Taitz’s Childhood Home

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Survey USA earlier this month conducted a poll of likely California voters and found that the incumbent Feinstein leads all comers with 51 percent. Taitz in the same poll drew a single percentage point, placing her in a tie for fourth pace with 11 other candidates and above nine candidates who couldn’t even garner one percent of the vote.

Still, some political animals think Taitz could sneak into the second spot based purely on name recognition alone.

Democracy, my friends, can be a very dangerous thing.

♢

✍

WHAT TO DO? WHAT TO DO?

[Ed.’s Note: Welcome to the next phase of The Electron Pencil’s growth. From here on out, we’ll be running daily events listings in a section we’re naming Go. Many of this weekend’s listings are late because we’re still messing with the layout and design. What you see here now might not be what you see in ten minutes. So consider this installment of Go to be your beta version. Indulge us — we want to see how things look and work. Be here tomorrow, though, for the real thing. Thanks.]

Electron Pencil event listings: Music, art, movies, lectures, parties, receptions, benefits, plays, meetings, fairs, conspiracies, rituals, etc. (alphabetical venue info)

Sunday, April 22, 2012

◗ Kent Farm, IU Research & Teaching Preserve — Bird hike with IU Biology Professors Susan and Jim Hengeveld; 7am

◗ IU Tennis Center — IU Women’s Tennis vs. Northwestern; 11am

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◗ Madame Walker Theatre — Wet Your Pants Comedy Film Fest; 12pm

◗ Sembower Field — IU Baseball vs. Georgie Southern; 1pm

◗ IU Softball Field — IU Softball vs. Northwestern, doubleheader; 2pm

◗ Sweeney Hall — Music & Video Recital, Jeffrey Haas and John Gibson; 2pm

◗ Monroe Lake, Paynetown SRA — Monroe Lake Volunteer Call-Out; 3:30pm

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◗ Player’s Pub — Benefit for the Red Cross; 3-8pm

◗ Max’s Place — Project School Poetry Ready; 3:30pm

◗ The Kinsey Institute — opening reception, exhibit, “Man as Object: Reversing the Gaze”; 4-7pm

◗ Bub’s Burgers — Poker; 5:30pm

◗ IU Cinema — DW Griffith film, “Orphans of the Storm”; 6:30pm

◗ Bear’s Place — Ryder Film Series: “Chico and Rita”; 7pm

◗ Buskirk-Chumley Theater — Trashion Refashion; 7pm

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◗ IU Auditorium — European Union Youth Orchestra, 7pm

◗ Merrill Hall, Recital Hall — All-Campus Orchestra, Benjamin Bolter, conductor; 8:30pm

◗ IU Auditorium — “An Overture to Europe Day” Reception, 9pm

♢

04/10/2012

3 Comments

Alfred Hitchcock, Alfred Kinsey, American Library Association, Banned Books, Barack Obama, Birthers, Bullying, Censorship, Conspiracy Theory, Doglas Wilson, Fidel Castro, Health Care Reform, Health Insurance Mandate, IDS, Indiana University, Joe Arpaio, Miami Marlins, Obamacare, Ozzie Guillen, Tyrone Davis

The Pencil Today:

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THE QUOTE

“I’m not against the police; I’m just afraid of them.” — Alfred Hitchcock

♢

THE READING MENACE

Books are dangerous things. That’s what quite a few jittery folks in this holy land think.

There are enough bibliophobes around to cause heaps of trouble for librarians who are brazen and perverted enough to stock their shelves with certain titles that any god-fearing soul knows will weaken the nation and destroy the family.

Herewith is the American Library Association’s list of 2011’s ten most challenged books in these Great United States, Inc.:

The Lauren Myracle series including “ttyl,” “ttfn,” and “l8r”
The Kim Dong Hwa series “The Color of Earth”
“The Hunger Games” trilogy by Suzanne Collins
“My Mom’s Having a Baby! A Kid’s Month-by-Month Guide to Pregnancy” by Dori Hillestad Butler
“The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian,” by Sherman Alexie
The “Alice” series by Phyllis Reynolds Naylor
“Brave New World” by Aldous Huxley
“What My Mother Doesn’t Know” by Sonya Sones
The “Gossip Girl” series by Cecily Von Ziegesar
“To Kill a Mockingbird” by Harper Lee

Harper Lee, Contributor To Delinquency

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Any of these books may well turn your child into a young socialist or aspiring terrorist. If you are an older person and you even inadvertently read one of these tomes, you’ll suddenly find yourself wishing to acquit black men falsely accused of crimes, use indelicate language, and — worst of all — possibly think about sex.

♢

BULLIED BOY

Drop everything you’re doing right now and pick up a copy of the Indiana Daily Student or click over to the IDS website. Read the unsigned editorial about the personal struggle of a self-described chunky Hispanic latent homosexual who endured years of bullying at the hands of his schoolmates.

If it doesn’t make you cry, you’re probably dead.

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The author of the piece points out that a conservative Christian Cro-Magnon man named Douglas Wilson is slated to speak at IU Friday. Wilson thinks current anti-bullying efforts let gay and lesbian kids off the hook. They’re bad seeds, he concludes.

I checked out Wilson’s website. Man, this guy is a piece of work. He links the late IU sex researcher Alfred Kinsey with Nazism. He also espouses age-old Puritan chestnuts like a wife should be submissive to her husband (but not in the fun, light bondage way, either).

Nazi?

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Here’s an example of Wilson’s “thinking” on Barack Obama’s health care reform bill: “When they urge the passage of Obamacare because this person will now ‘have coverage,’ they overlook the fact that nothing good can come from men wanting to be God.”

Wait, what?

Wilson’s wife also has a blog. They’re both the kind of folk who need to cite a Bible passage for every thing they say. Only their Bible doesn’t seem to have a passage advising them not to terrorize kids who are struggling with their sexuality.

♢

SCARY COP

I’ve long suspected noted brute-with-a-badge Joe Arpaio is playing with a short deck. Now I know it’s true.

The longtime Maricopa County (Arizona) sheriff jumped on the Birther bandwagon months ago. He’s upping the ante now. Arpaio’s current take on that particular psychotic reaction makes earlier Birther charges seem almost sane.

“America’s Toughest Sheriff”

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Tough guy Joe now says the Republicans are in on the scheme!

Yep. GOP senators and even the motley crew running for the Republican nomination for president all have have thrown in their lots with the conspirators who took a Kenyan baby and groomed him to become the President of the United States.

Not even Stephen King could come up with this stuff.

♢

ONLY 90 MILES AWAY

Does the thought strike you that this great nation is riding a time machine backward?

Guess who’s in the headlines again, 54 years after the Cuban revolution, 50 years after the Cuban Missile Crisis, and fully four years after he quit as Cuba’s boss because he was getting too old and feeble to terrify anybody anymore.

Yep. Fidel Castro.

America, I’ll Be Living In Your Nightmares For The Next Fifty Years!

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I’m not part of Castro’s fan club. There’ve been good and bad things to say about his bully-boy reign. Sure, everybody can read and health care coverage is universal in Cuba. But just try being a dissident and see how far that’ll get you on the island.

Anyway, Miami Marlins manager Ozzie Guillen, who has no filter between his reptilian brain and his mouth, the other day was talking about the Marlins new stadium which is located in Miami’s Little Havana district.

Perhaps Guillen, not normally known as a sage political observer, figured Hmm, lots of Cubans around here. I’d better say something nice about Castro.

So he gushed about the Havana strongman. “I love Fidel Castro,” he brayed. “I respect Fidel Castro. You know why? A lot of people have wanted to kill Fidel Castro for the last 60 years but that son of a bitch is still here.”

Suddenly, Guillen found out that the nearly one million Cubans who live in Miami are the ones who’ve wanted to slice Fidel’s throat this last half century. Don’t ask me why, but there’s hardly a group on Earth with longer memories and holding a deeper grudge than the people who fled Cuba after Castro took over.

Miami has rarely seen a storm like the one that’s blowing over town right now.

Local pols are screaming that Guillen should be fired. A state legislator is calling for “punitive measures” against him, according to the Associated Press.

The owner of Miami’s Major League Baseball team has suspended Guillen for five games.

No one knows if this will be enough to satisfy the baying hounds who right now are ringing Marlins Stadium, calling for Guillen’s head.

Look, Guillen’s a big-mouthed dope. So are Rush Limbaugh and Don Imus and every other professional gabber who has delivered racist, sexist, insensitive, insulting, or deliriously uninformed diatribes. But we don’t punish people for stupid talk in my country. We don’t take their jobs away from them.

If we did, everybody would be in hot water and nobody would have a job.

Not The Most Respected Political Commentator Around

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Wait a minute…, everybody is in hot water and nobody does have a job. Oh well, you know what I mean.

Back to this going back in time bit, though. Wasn’t it just a few years before Fidel Castro blew into the national consciousness that we proud Americans were punishing folks and taking away their livelihoods just for talking or thinking the wrong way?

It looks like old Joe McCarthy has never really gone away.

♢

TURN BACK THE HANDS OF TIME

Tyrone Davis’s soul hit from the spring of 1970.

♢

04/08/2012

2 Comments

Adolf Hitler, Anthony M. Bucco, Barack Obama, Birthers, Ford Motor Company, Ford Pinto Scandal, Goodbody Hall, Harvard University, Indiana University, Jerome Corsi, Jewish Studies Program, John Bradshaw, John Kerry, Joseph Priestley, Marianne Williamson, Orly Taitz, Otto Kerner, Political Gadflies, Rhonda Byrne, Robert Bly, Rod Blagojevich, Swiftboat, Teenage Angst, The Secret, Tony Orlando and Dawn, Vandalism, Vietnam War, Watergate

The Pencil Today:

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THE QUOTE

“Like its politicians and its war, society has the teenagers it deserves.” — Joseph Priestley

♢

WANTING TO REBEL IN THE WORST WAY

Let’s look at something from the viewpoint of a dopey kid who’s burning up with the desire to piss people off.

It’s an easy task for me because that’s precisely the kind of dopey kid I was. That urge to thumb my nose at grownups and society at large was so overpowering that I got myself busted. It wasn’t until a couple of tough guy detectives pounded on the back door of my family’s home and slapped the cuffs on me when I was 17 that I realized the whole F.U. I was shouting at the world might not be a strategic success.

Believe me, having my belt and shoelaces confiscated, sitting in a cell where the toilet has no seat because inmates can kill themselves with it (I still don’t know how they can do it), and being offered the traditional bologna sandwich and a glass of water for dinner profoundly changes one’s attitude toward senseless rebellion.

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Anyway, a couple of Bloomington teenagers presumably faced that same reality check this week. The two high school students, a boy and a girl, were hauled in on suspicion of drawing a swastika and writing the word Hitler on a poster at the Jewish studies program office in Goodbody Hall.

Apparently, the kids were hanging around the IU campus, bored, and decided to liven up the decor. The IU police say crude drawings of female parts were also found around Goodbody, drawn with the same type of black marker that the anti-semitic stuff was scrawled in.

I could have been that boy (if I had a girlfriend at that age). So I ask myself, Why would I have done it?

When I was 15, 16, and 17, the Vietnam War was just winding down, Watergate was just gearing up, and the country was just emerging from the chaos of assassinations and race rioting. I concluded this was a sick nation, that I was one of the select few souls perceptive enough to grasp that elementary fact.

Sick Nation

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My parents were the two stupidest people to walk the face of this Earth. How they survived the mere act of getting to work in the morning baffled me. My teachers were idiots — all they were concerned about was the length of my hair. The cops were fascists. Politicians were crooked. Corporations were run by greedy pigs who’d sell out their grandmothers for a profit. And even the music on the radio was execrable — I mean, honestly, “Tie a Yellow Ribbon ‘Round the Old Oak Tree”? And what about “The Night the Lights Went Out in Georgia”?

For pity’s sake, can you blame me for wanting to overthrow the world?

The Last Straw

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I was too much of a dope to understand that I could have channeled my rage in some constructive way. I hadn’t the slightest idea what I could have done to, say, force the executives of Ford Motor Company to mend their ways, or convince the Illinois governor not to slurp at the public trough.

The only thing I could think of was to roar.

Yeah, I was dopey, but I didn’t really mean anybody any harm. I wasn’t about to take a gun (which I had access to, thanks to some of my associates in small-time crime) and go out blasting for the lark of it.

Hell, I could hardly muster the bile to punch a guy in the face, although that talent was considered requisite in my neighborhood.

So what was I to do to inform the citizens of this holy land that I considered them consummate boobs?

I fell back on the old reliables: busting windows, splattering paint on walls, petty theft, flashing the finger at passing squad cars (all the while making sure they wouldn’t see me doing it), and other teen boy annoyances.

“Yeah, This’ll Show ‘Em!”

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Those two Bloomington kids might well be harboring some of the same grievances I did. Hell, cops are still dousing protesters with pepper spray these days. Corporations are still run by greedy pigs. Pointless wars are still being fought. And Illinois governors are still going to prison.

Work Hard, Study, Mind Your Elders And You, Too, Can Grow Up To Be Governor

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The two kids may not know exactly who Otto Kerner was or Rod Blagojevich is, but rest assured they know pols still are adept at digging their hands in our pockets when we aren’t looking. It’s a safe bet to assume, as well, that the two Bloomington teens feel their parents are spectacularly uninformed and incapable of tying their own shoelaces.

And maybe — just maybe — they needed the world to know just how contemptible they think it is.

So, pretend you’re a kid with a half-formed sense of morality. What’s the worst thing you can draw on a wall that illustrates how despicable you think the adult nation is?

A good starting point might be a penis or a vagina, no? That’ll shake ’em up. They’ll realize what idiots they are when they catch sight of that, huh?

Okay, now that we’ve made our point clear on that score, how about politics? Let’s see now, who was the most evil politician of all time?

Duh! Adolf Hitler!

“This Is What I Think Of You.”

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Man, nothin’s gonna show these pigs what we think of ’em better than writing the name of history’s most evil man on a poster and drawing a swastika.

You think you’re gonna pull me into your bullshit world, man? Take that! Hitler. Hah!

You may counter that I’m being too forgiving here. Perhaps these two kids have had their brains turned to mush by the rantings of neo-Nazis and white supremacists. Perhaps one or both of the kids really hates Jews.

I doubt it. My guess is that neither of the kids knows exactly what a Jew is.

They most likely only know that writing Hitler’s name on a wall pisses people off, big time. And it’s a sure-fire way to make the announcement that we are not you.

I hope the kids had an epiphany when they had their belts and shoelaces taken away.

♢

BIRTHERS NEVER DIE

Can you believe it? Birthers are still around and still making bleating noises.

Birthers.

Jerome Corsi is one of them. You’ve heard of him. Several of his books have made the New York Times nonfiction bestseller list.

Corsi

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Which is ironic because they’re as far from nonfiction as the number one bestseller called “Heaven Is for Real” by that Nebraska preacher named Burpo about his kid’s fever dream fantasy that he died and came back from paradise.

Corsi, of course, is the fabulist who popularized the Swiftboat canard against 2004 Democratic presidential candidate John Kerry, and has since thrown his lot in with the likes of Orly Taitz, who is to sanity what the hot dog station at the Circle K is to gourmet cooking.

Taitz

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Corsi earned a doctorate in political science from Harvard, which proves only that even Ivy League institutions make mistakes.

Taitz, meanwhile, roams the streets freely, always one step ahead of the men with butterfly nets.

Corsi’s latest flight of psychotic fancy is called “Where’s the Birth Certificate: The Case that Barack Obama Is not Eligible to Be President,” published last year even as Barack Obama produced his long-form birth certificate.

Per Corsi’s peculiar logic, that is not the birth certificate.

Whatever the hell ever that means.

Anyway, New Jersey Assemblyman Anthony M. Bucco, a Republican (duh!) from Morris, has jumped on the Manchurian Candidate bandwagon. The state legislator says Corsi, who gave an SRO speech at the Morristown Masonic Lodge that Bucco attended Tuesday, piques his interest.

Corsi, according to Bucco, raised “interesting points I wasn’t aware of, and it made me believe this thing isn’t going away.”

Bucco, by the way, is an alternate spelling of the Italian word for hole. As in the things in both his and Corsi’s heads. Taitz’s cranium is a sieve.

Osso Bucco — Literally, Bone With A Hole

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Bucco is the deputy Republican leader in the New Jersey House. Corsi’s speech was sponsored by a gaggle of Tea Party groups as well the Morris County Republican Party.

So this is fairly mainstream stuff. Within my lifetime, the cranks of this holy land have become respectable — which says absolutely nothing about them but everything about us.

See, there’ve always been those who fixate on marginalia. There were guys I used to see at City Hall, for instance, who rode their rusty three-speed bikes to every single City Council Zoning Committee meeting, convinced they were the average citizen’s bulwark against corruption. You know the type — they loiter in the county building halls and mumble hello to passing county board members and whoever is foolish enough to acknowledge them immediately becomes the object of the loiterer’s mantra-like anecdote for the next few weeks: “I was talking to so-and-so at the county building and she says….”

Or how about the insomniacs who listened to all-night syndicated talk radio shows? They knew that the government was sitting on alien visitation evidence in Roswell.

Proof!

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They reside at the flange of the sanity’s bell curve.

For most of our history, the ramblings of these folks have been the aural equivalent of the croak of a toad in a wetland ten miles from the nearest outpost of civilization.

Now, though, that toad croak must be breathlessly covered by TV, radio, and newspaper reporters across the nation.

How did that happen?

Is it the inevitable result of me-generation huffing and puffing from the 70s?

You know, everybody’s opinion counts? Feelings are paramount? Facts are fascist? If you believe it, it’s true?

Self-help authors made millions pontificating in this manner. Remember Robert Bly and John Bradshaw? Later practitioners included Marianne Williamson and, more recently, Rhonda Byrne, she of “The Secret.”

Believe And It Will Be So

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They all preached that you create your own reality.

And no matter how much the Right derides the touchy-feely, post-hippie, 70’s generation, most of them grew up in that era. If they didn’t care for est training and I-am-woman-hear-me-roar, they surely dug the patronizing message that whatever you think or believe is valid.

Well, guess what folks — it ain’t.

No matter how passionately you feel, the world is not flat. The Apollo moon landings were not staged. Alien bodies were not hidden in a hangar at Area 51. And Barack Obama was born in Hawai’i.

♢

Category Archives: Birthers

He’s a Furriner

Hoser

Eligible

Harvest Moon

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Flying Saucers And Pink Dresses

Joyrider

LBJ And The Man He Whacked

Jackie And The Pink Suit

Abraham, Martin & John

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Chuck Norris And Friends

Borrowers, Lenders & The Mob

Not The Library

Alderman Fred Roti

Fiction

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THE QUOTE

PICK YOUR PRESIDENT

SUNUNU NEWS

The Sudden “Liberal”

Just Trust Us, Okay?

FUN WITH NUMBERS

Reimagining Gayle As A Drunken Sailor

Nougat, Peanuts, Caramel, Chocolate — Genius!

Saturday, October 27th, 2012

ONGOING:

The Ryder & The Electron Pencil. All Bloomington. All the time.

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