Category Archives: Gay Marriage

12/28/2013
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Clay Farris Naff, Gay Marriage, Homophobia, Huffington Post, Indiana Family Institute, Indiana HJR-6, Lobbyists, Marriage Amendment, Non-profit Organizations, Tax-Exempt, Theo Epstein, War on Christmas

Post-war On Christmas Hot Air

Peace Is At Hand

Huzzah, the war is over! Who won?

Santa & Guns

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God’s Lobbyists

The Indiana Family Institute is headquartered, appropriately enough, in Zionsville.

Makes sense, considering the outfit is awfully Jesus-y.

The IFI calls itself a “non-partisan public education and research organization.” Which, right off the bat, is a lie. Its charter, focus, blogs, and and other efforts are directed almost exclusively toward leaning on congresscritters to vote along Jesus-y lines.

In 2013, we learned how scads of similar organizations, in order to avoid paying taxes, say they’re serving the public weal and don’t ever even think about trying to sway public opinion from the pulpit.

Case in point, this morning I read this blog headline on the IFI website splash page:

Screenshot from IFI website

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Politics, baby, pure and simple.

Nothing would please me more at this moment than for the IRS to order outfits like the IFI to whip out their checkbooks and start scribbling.

The IFI, according to science and religion writer Clay Farris Naff in the Huffington Post, is one of the prime movers behind HJR-6, the pending Indiana statehouse resolution that would call for the flamboyantly straight majority in this great state to piss all over the idea of gay marriage.

Politics, pure and simple.

See, the resolution is the first official step in the process to add an amendment to the Indiana state constitution that Right Wingers, holy rollers, and closeted elected officials hope will quash the idea of officially recognized homosexual love once and for all. Because that, my friends, is the biggest threat to our liberty, our civilization, and our carefully crafted collective hetero facade.

It’s voting, dig? First the statehouse votes to put the proposed amendment before the people. Then the people vote, up or down, on the amendment.

Voting. Politics. Any questions?

The IFI focuses on three main issues:

Or, to put it all in more straightforward language, making sure religions can discriminate against anyone they desire, making sure gays don’t infect the rest of us, and stopping sluts from getting preggers.

“The IFI Network,” its website crows, “is making the difference in Indiana, and you can be part of this important work.”

Screenshot from IFI website

Politics In The IFI Blog

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Clearly, one of the most effective ways of “making a difference” is pressuring legislators to push forward on anti-gay action.

Politics.

The single initiative the IFI trumpets is its Hoosier Congressional Policy Leadership Series. It’s a monthly class for ‘interested professionals” looking to learn how to play footsie with “top policy leaders.”

In other words, how to be a lobbyist.

Politics.

“The program’s mission is to advance conservative policy and faith-based servant leadership principles with community leaders…,” the website reveals.

It’s bad enough I have to share air I breathe with people who are convinced the mythical creator of the Universe has been whispering in their ears, but making me foot a sliver of their bill for foisting their cocksure morality and biblically-rationalized hatreds and fears on the rest of us is too much.

Folks, we have to make these plaster saints pay their own freight. Make them pay taxes.

Then I’ll ask them to keep their fever dreams and religious hallucinations to themselves. I don’t ask them to believe in my crazy fantasies, do I? When’s the last time you heard me calling for the general populace to revere the word of my lord and savior, Theo Epstein?

Epstein

Our Father, Who Art In The Front Office….

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11/06/2013
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bloomingOUT, Carol Fischer, Debra Herbenick, Donna Summer, Gay Marriage, Gay Rights, Helen Harrell, Illinois, New Civil Rights Movement, Sex, WFHB

Steamy Hot Air

Illinois!

Way to go, Illinois! Legislators in my old home state yesterday passed a same-sex marriage bill. Huzzah!

Chicago Tribune Photo

Chicagoans Celebrate

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The scoreboard now stands at 15 states allowing same-sex marriage and 35 not. So, the New Civil Rights Movement is approaching the one-third landmark in this holy land. That would seem to be a tipping point after which same-sex marriage would fast become, under the law at least, just another norm.

Of course, many, many, many folks in those 35 states (as well as holdouts in the enlightened 15) feel we’re no longer a holy land because we’re allowing men to marry men, women to marry women, and, next thing you know, 60-year-old lechers to legally molest kiddies and wacky old crones to hitch up with their cats.

Image from Forbes

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Man, some people sure have scary imaginations.

I’ve been around lesbians, gays, bisexuals, transgendered people, and those questioning their own identities all my life; that is, until I got to Bloomington which seems oddly bereft of such folk. I would have figured that this burgh, being one of the last outposts of the former Soviet Union and, even worse, a college town, would be a haven for what society has heretofore considered sexual outlaws.

Perhaps I’m wrong. If so, my pals Carol Fischer and Helen Harrell over at WFHB‘s bloomingOUT radio show for the LGBTQ gang can set me straight on that matter (pardon the pun).

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Speaking Of Sex

Sex geek extraordinaire Debby Herbenick put in an appearance at the Book Corner yesterday.

Photo by Kevin Donahue

Research Scientist Debra Herbenick

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No, she wasn’t doing a signing or reading; the BC doesn’t go in for that kind of thing (and least not yet). Herbenick simply was looking to buy a book. Naturally, she walked out of the place with a half dozen.

Doc Herbenick told the Pencil she just scored a deal for is working on yet another book. I’m telling you, this dame can find more ways to ponder sex than the average 14-year-old boy. Only her pondering elevates the science of bonking. She is, for all my non-Bloomington readers, one of the most acclaimed sex researchers on this happy planet.

Here’s a short list of Herbenick’s previous publications:

✐ Sex Made Easy: Your Awkward Questions Answered—For Better, Smarter, Amazing Sex

✐ Because It Feels Good: A Woman’s Guide to Sexual Pleasure and Satisfaction

✐ Read My Lips: A Complete Guide to the Vagina and Vulva

Go check out her advice page on the Kinsey Confidential website. She helps jes’ plain folk come to grips (you’ll pardon the expression) with their sex dilemmas and misunderstandings. For instance, one of her recent posts answered the question: My penis is slightly curved; will this affect intimacy?

Right-Reverse-Curve-Sign

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Honestly, this poor chap’s idiosyncrasy probably vexes him more than all the philosophical disputes conjured by women and men since the beginning of time. Me? I would respond to his plaint thusly: That all depends on which way it’s curved.

Which, of course, is why a noted professional like Debby Herbenick should help guide him through the thicket of penile geometry rather than some snot like me.

Then again, after a careful reading of the good doctor’s response, it turns out I was right! Sheesh.

Anyway, Herbenick’s looking forward to hunkering down and writing the new book. “It should be fun,” she said.

I’ll bet.

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I Feel Love

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07/02/2013
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Barack Obama, Birthers, Book Corner, Chuck Norris, David Limbaugh, Fred Roti, Gay Marriage, Hillel Levin, Jerome Corsi, John Kerry, John Rocker, Matt Barber, Monroe County Public Library, Monsanto Protection Act, Organized Crime, Pat Marcy, Paula Deen, Phyllis Schlafly, Robert Cooley, Rush Limbaugh, Swiftboating, The Godfather, The Outfit, US Supreme Court, WorldNetDaily

Your Daily Hot Air

Sometimes I think World Net Daily was made up just for me.

For my entertainment. For my edification. For my sense of superiority over the gang of lunatics that puts it out.

From WND

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Maybe this is what I’m missing out on by not being a sexist slob or a racist. Scads of folks across this holy land seem to feel they are better than others simply because said others either possess vaginas or dark skin. It must feel good to know in your heart that women are weak and stupid and blacks are criminal and lazy — and you’re not one of them.

Superiority must be a trip, right? Otherwise, what’s the point of being a sexist and/or racist?

So yeah, I feel superior — moral- and intellectual-wise — to the jabbering chuckleheads who populate the WND universe.

The WND pantheon includes busts of that great philosopher Chuck Norris, who has fap-fantasized about becoming the president of the Republic of Texas after it secedes (oh, please!), and the redoubtable Jerome Corsi. You may recall Corsi swearing up and down during the 2004 presidential campaign that John Kerry had faked his Vietnam wounds. And, more recently, he has posited that Barack Obama is some kind of a Kenyan fag abortionist or something.

Norris

Chuck Norris And Friends

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The WND faithful also are regularly treated to the screechings of Phyllis Schlafly and David Limbaugh (who almost makes big bro Rush sound occasionally sane).

Yeesh.

WND is chock full of ads for gold (the preferred safe investment harbor for survivalists), magical vitamins and elixirs, fountains of youth, and even for the newly-martyred Paula Deen. The fly on this pile of horseshit is none other than former baseball pitcher John Rocker, who pens a regular op-ed column for the site.

John Rocker, for chrissakes!

Anyway, wouldn’t you know it, last week’s US Supreme Court decision to coerce all good, white, straight men into butt sex has the WND crew all aflutter.

Some self-described Christian lawyer named Matt Barber, a regular WND contributor, is convinced he’s going to be imprisoned sooner rather than later as a direct result of the gay marriage ruling. And you know what happens in the joint, don’t you?

Prison

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Anyway, Barber recounts a hand-wringing email exchange he had with another self-avowed Christian lawyer, who remains nameless in his Monday column. After speculating that the gay marriage OK will lead to the obligatory state-sanctioned unions of brothers and sisters (ick) and rampant polygamy (just a tad less ick), Barber’s pen pal pronounces:

In my 35 years as a Christian, I never seriously believed we might end up in prison for our faith — except, perhaps, for something like a pro-life demonstration. This is the first time it seriously occurs to me that the trajectory of the nation is such that it is possible in five to 10 years.

Because, as you are well aware, the Christians are such an oppressed minority in this country.

Barber couldn’t agree with his friend more. He writes:

Do I believe Christians will face real persecution, such as loss of livelihood, civil penalties, physical abuse or even jail? Absolutely.

So, there you have it. Gay marriage equals Christian concentration camps.

And, yeah, I’m superior to these howler monkeys, moral- and intellectual-wise.

It does feel good. Thanks, WND.

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Borrowers, Lenders & The Mob

Margaret, the Big Cheese at the Book Corner, Bloomington’s only independent bookseller where I peddle ’em Mondays through Wednesdays, will probably clunk me in the head for this one but, I gotta tell you, I’m becoming addicted to the library.

Book Corner

Not The Library

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I’m reading a couple of books a week now, mainly because I’ve been borrowing from the Monroe County Public Library. I have zero idea why I haven’t done this before.

Think of it: your town or big city has within it a system wherein you can take books, CDs, or DVDs home for your personal use — for free. All you have to do is flash a library card.

You may say, Sure, Big Mike, we know all about it, but when’s the last time you did it?

I mean, even the fire department charges your survivors for sending an ambulance over when your heart explodes from a lifetime of sliders and Pop Tarts. The library doesn’t charge you a penny. How can it be that there isn’t a line around the block when the place opens in the morning?

Anyway, I’m just finishing up a book called When Corruption Was King, written by Robert Cooley with help from former Chicago Magazine editor Hillel Levin. Cooley was a mobbed up, kinky lawyer who was in bed with legendary Chicago First Ward bosses Pat Marcy and Fred Roti, who did the bidding of the city’s Outfit.

Roti

Alderman Fred Roti

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The Outfit, of course, is Chicagoese for the Mafia, La Cosa Nostra, wiseguys, goodfellas, or whatever Hollywood wants to call organized crime. According to Cooley, the Outfit, through Marcy et al, controlled Cook County’s courts, much of the Chicago Police Department, and too many city agencies to list here. Suffice it to say if you wanted a quick building permit, a zoning variance that the neighbors had been fighting tooth and nail, or just to get your teenaged kid off for denting the skull of some hapless Puerto Rican with a baseball bat, your lawyer paid a visit to Pat Marcy and slipped a nickel or a few dimes into his pudgy hand.

A nickel, in Chicago parlance, is $500. A dime, natch, is a grand.

So, the First Ward boys were the extra-legal funnel through which all smart city business flowed. Marcy and crew took care of the average citizen in the know as well as the big boys who ran the city’s gambling, vice, and narcotics operations, among other colorful pastimes. Most Chicago crime experts believed Marcy was a “made guy,” meaning he was an officially approved member of the Outfit. And, no, the Chicago mob didn’t have any elaborate ceremonies and rituals, the likes of which were portrayed in The Godfather and every other crime movie made since. In fact, the Outfit was an equal opportunity employer, welcoming members of every ethnic group imaginable into its ranks, so long as they were good earners and were willing to snap a guy’s thumb when called upon to do so.

From "The Godfather"

Fiction

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Cooley revealed the fixing of murder cases and the buying of state legislation through efforts of Marcy and his guys. Big circuit court judges who’d previously nurtured reputations as law-and-order hard-asses were in truth, Cooley and Levin wrote, guys who’d fix any case for a buck.

See, Cooley was a big player in these shenanigans until, he says, he got fed up, had a change of heart, and walked into the US Justice Department’s Chicago office unannounced and told the feds he wanted to play ball with them. Cooley then wore a wire when he did business with the First Ward boys. The evidence he amassed led to dozens of arrests and convictions and the eventual dismantling of the First Ward pigsty.

Cooley’s no Raymond Chandler or even John Grisham but his story is as riveting as anything they could come up with.

And, by the way, the kind of pervasive corruption that Cooley helped bring down in Chicago’s First Ward may be a thing of the past now but it was built upon the passing of cash from one hand to another.

The last I heard, cash still buys things. Enough of it can still buy permits, justice, and legislation. Only now, the system is nationwide, or even global, as opposed to Pat Marcy’s petit-realm. Look at the so-called Monsanto Protection Act for proof.

We need a new Robert Cooley.

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11/10/2012
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Abortion, al-Qur'an, Barack Obama, FEMA, Gay Marriage, Guns, Homophobia, Loyalty Oath, Rush Limbaugh, United Nations, Welfare Queen

The Pencil Today:

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THE QUOTE

“We’re doomed.” — Rush Limbaugh

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THE NEW ORDER

Ooh, we’re excited here at Bloomington’s favorite communications colossus!

First we’ve been authorized by the federal government to continue operation after President Barack Obama’s order to shut down any and all TV and radio stations, newspapers, magazines, and interwebs sites that are deemed dangerous to the newly renamed United States of the World.

Huzzah! The Electron Pencil has been named a Communications Organ of the People!

We’ve always striven to be an organ of one sort or another.

Second, the Federal Emergency Management Administration wants us to pass along some vitally important directives to The People. FEMA’s notification is reproduced, in part, below:

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Here is the gist of FEMA’s order:

♠ All guns being held by private citizens must be turned in no later than midnight, Saturday, November 10th, 2012 (that’s today, so hurry!)

♠ The new Tithing for the Poor program mandates that all working Americans must hand over 10 percent of their weekly income to the welfare queen or pimp of their choice

♠ Any and all registered Republicans must sign a loyalty oath to the New Order — it begins, “I pledge allegiance to the Social Bureaucracy of the United States of the World…”

♠ Tea Party members will be required to report to FEMA’s Attitude Readjustment camps by Wednesday, November 21st, 2012 — they will not be allowed to participate in Thanksgiving festivities as that racist, imperialist celebration has now been outlawed

♠ Grandmas of the USW will be required to report to their local Death Panels as soon as possible

♠ All public buildings must now prominently display the al Qur’an

♠ A United Nations representative will be visiting your home within the next few weeks — you are to cooperate fully with him or her

♠ All American women of child-bearing age must undergo an abortion procedure by the end of the year — those who are not pregnant at this time must become pregnant by December 1st, 2012 — those women who have difficulty finding a mate can apply for assistance from the USW Social Stud Service, staffed exclusively by men of African extraction

♠ American business owners must close their businesses by the end of the year

♠ All white males in excess of 50 percent of the population must leave the country — preference for those who are allowed to remain will be shown for weak, near-sighted, flat-footed males who exhibit a proclivity to enjoy showering with other males

♠ All Americans must engage in a minimum of one (1) homosexual act each year

We at The Electron Pencil are proud to do our share in the remaking of America. And we pledge allegiance to our Dear Leader!

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The only events listings you need in Bloomington.

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Saturday, November 10th, 2012

FOOD ◗ City Hall, The Showers Building — Farmers Market; 8am-1pm

ARTS & CRAFTS ◗ University Baptist Church — Bloomington Glass Guild Holiday Show; 10am-5pm

ART ◗ TC Steele State Historic Site, Nashville — Member Art Show; 10am-5pm

WORKSHOP ◗ IU Mathers Museum of World Cultures — Native American Beading; 10am-4pm

ARTS & CRAFTS ◗ First United Church of Bloomington — 27th Annual Fiber Art Show & Sale; 10am-5pm

FAIR ◗ Holiday Inn — Bloomington’s Spirit Fair, Consult with psychics & tarot readers, Shop for New Age objects, Booths for numerology, astrology, reiki, crystal healing, and palmistry; Through Sunday, 10am-pm

ARTS & CRAFTS ◗ Bloomington Convention Center — Bloomington Handmade Market Holiday Sale, Featuring 48 regional artists & craftspeople; 10am-5pm

BOOKS ◗ Howard’s Bookstore — Author Terry Pinaud signs his book, “Chaos“; 11am-3pm

SPORTS ◗ IU Memorial Stadium — Hoosier football vs. Wisconsin; Noon

DEDICATION ◗ Monroe County Courthouse Square, East Side, The Redmen Building — Ceremony for the installation of the Susan B. Anthony historical marker plaque; 1pm

MUSIC ◗ IU Ford-Crawford Hall — Bassoon Studio Recital: Students of Bill Ludwig & Kathleen McLean; 1pm

MUSIC ◗ IU Musical Arts Center Recital Hall — Master’s Recital: Steven Marquardt on trumpet; 1pm

STAGE ◗ IU Halls Theatre — Drama, “Spring Awakening“; 2pm

CELEBRATION ◗ Trained Eye Arts Center — The Big One: Trained Eye Arts 1-year Anniversary, Featuring live music, games, performers, studio open house; 3pm-Midnight

MUSIC ◗ IU Musical Arts Center Recital Hall — Senior Recital: Rico D. Hamilton, tenor; 3pm

STAGE ◗ IU Ivy Tech Waldron Center, Auditorium — Comedy, “Alfred Hitchcock’s 39 Steps“; 3pm

MUSIC ◗ IU Ford-Crawford Hall — Voice Studio Recital: Students of Teresa Kubiak; 3pm

FILM ◗ IU Cinema — “Beau Travail,” Filmmaker Claire Denis will be present; 3pm

MUSIC ◗ IU Auer Hall — Artist Diploma Recital: Eun Young Seo on piano; 4pm

MUSIC ◗ IU Sweeney Hall — Master’s Recital: Matthew Peterson on jazz piano; 4pm

MUSIC ◗ IU Ford-Crawford Hall — Harpsichord Studio Recital; 5pm

VETERANS DAY ◗ Bloomington High School South — “A Tribute to Elvis,” Live music, Proceeds go to Disabled Veterans Wish Foundation; 5:30-7:30pm

MUSIC ◗ IU Auer Hall — Violin Studio Recital: Students of Kevork Mardirossian; 6pm

FILM ◗ IU Fine Arts Theater — Ryder Film Series: “Two Angry Moms“; 6:45pm

MUSIC ◗ Muddy Boots Cafe, Nashville — Martha Burton; 7-9pm

LECTURE ◗ IU Cinema — Jorgensen Guest Filmmaker Series: French filmmaker Claire Denis; 7pm

MUSIC ◗ IU Ford-Crawford Hall — Senior Recital: Jamie Kim on clarinet; 7pm

FILM ◗ IU Woodburn Hall Theater — Ryder Film Series: “17 Girls“; 7:15pm

STAGE ◗ IU Halls Theatre — Drama, “Spring Awakening“; 7:30pm

STAGE ◗ Ivy Tech Waldron Center, in the Rose Firebay — Drama, “The Rimers of Eldritch,” Presented by Ivy Tech Student Productions; 7:30pm

STAGE ◗ Bloomington High School North — Comedy/drama, “Ondine“; 7:30pm

PERFORMANCE ◗ Buskirk Chumley Theater — “A Potpourri of Arts in the African American Tradition,” Featuring the African American Dance Company, the African American Chorale Ensemble, and the IU Soul Revue; 8pm

MUSIC ◗ The Player’s Pub — Ritmos Unidos; 8pm

MUSIC ◗ IU Auer Hall — Baroque Orchestra, Stanley Ritchie, director; 8pm

MUSIC ◗ First Christian Church — “Masses & Madrigals: Ancient & Modern,” Performed by the Bloomington Chmaber Singers, Conducted by Gerald Sousa; 8pm

OPERA ◗ IU Musical Arts Center — “Cendrillon (Cinderella),” Presented by IU Opera Theater; 8pm

STAGE ◗ IU Ivy Tech Waldron Center, Auditorium — Comedy, “Alfred Hitchcock’s 39 Steps“; 8pm

COMEDY ◗ The Comedy Attic — Greg Hahn; 8pm

FILM ◗ IU Fine Arts Theater — Ryder Film Series: “Keep the Lights On“; 8:15pm

MUSIC ◗ IU Ford-Crawford Hall — Piano Studio Recital: Students of Jean-Louis Haguenauer; 8:30pm

MUSIC ◗ IU Musical Arts Center Recital Hall — Senior Recital: Jisoo Kim on piano; 8:30pm

FILM ◗ IU Woodburn Hall Theater — Ryder Film Series: “All Together“; 8:45pm

MUSIC ◗ The Bluebird — Rod Tuffcurls & the Benchpress; 9pm

MUSIC ◗ Max’s Place — Piney Woods; 9pm

MUSIC ◗ The Bishop — Andy D album release party with Ursa Major, Beverly Bounce House, DJ Eade; 9:30pm

COMEDY ◗ The Comedy Attic — Greg Hahn; 10:30pm

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ONGOING:

ART ◗ IU Art Museum — Exhibits:

  • “Paragons of Filial Piety,” by Utagawa Kuniyoshi; through December 31st
  • “Intimate Models: Photographs of Husbands, Wives, and Lovers,” by Julia Margaret, Cameron, Edward Weston, & Harry Callahan; through December 31st
  • “French Printmaking in the Seventeenth Century;” through December 31st
  • Celebration of Cuban Art & Film: Pop-art by Joe Tilson; through December 31st
  • “Threads of Love: Baby Carriers from China’s Minority Nationalities“; through December 23rd
  • “Workers of the World, Unite!” through December 31st
  • “Embracing Nature,” by Barry Gealt; through December 23rd
  • “Pioneers & Exiles: German Expressionism,” through December 23rd

ART ◗ Ivy Tech Waldron Center — Exhibits through December 1st:

  • “Essentially Human,” By William Fillmore
  • “Two Sides to Every Story,” By Barry Barnes
  • “Horizons in Pencil and Wax,” By Carol Myers

ART ◗ IU SoFA Grunwald Gallery — Exhibits through November 16th:

  • Buzz Spector: Off the Shelf
  • Small Is Big

ART ◗ IU Kinsey Institute Gallery — Exhibits through December 20th:

  • “A Place Aside: Artists and Their Partners“
  • “Gender Expressions“

ART ◗ IU Mathers Museum of World Cultures — Exhibits:

  • “¡Cuba Si! Posters from the Revolution: 1960s and 1970s”
  • “From the Big Bang to the World Wide Web: The Origins of Everything”
  • “Thoughts, Things, and Theories… What Is Culture?”
  • “Picturing Archaeology”
  • “Personal Accents: Accessories from Around the World”
  • “Blended Harmonies: Music and Religion in Nepal”
  • “The Day in Its Color: A Hoosier Photographer’s Journey through Mid-century America”
  • “TOYing with Ideas”
  • “Living Heritage: Performing Arts of Southeast Asia”
  • “On a Wing and a Prayer”

BOOKS ◗ IU Lilly Library — Exhibits:

  • “The War of 1812 in the Collections of the Lilly Library“; through December 15th
  • “A World of Puzzles,” selections from the Slocum Puzzle Collection

ARTIFACTS ◗ Monroe County History Center — Exhibits:

  • Doctors & Dentists: A Look into the Monroe County Medical Professions
  • What Is Your Quilting Story?
  • Garden Glamour: Floral Fashion Frenzy
  • Bloomington Then & Now
  • World War II Uniforms
  • Limestone Industry in Monroe County

The Ryder & The Electron Pencil. All Bloomington. All the time.

10/21/2012
1 Comment
Big Bird, Gay Marriage, Gay Rights, George McGovern, Human Rights, NPR, PBS, Richard M. Nixon, Springfield Missouri, Tom & Ray Magliozzi, Wounded Knee 1973

The Pencil Today:

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THE QUOTE

“I think we ought to move tanks, the whole goddamned thing. Put a division in there, if necessary. It’s time for action on it. If some Indians get shot, that’s too goddamned bad. If some Americans get shot, that too bad, too.” — Richard M. Nixon on the Wounded Knee protest, 1973.

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A LIFE: JULY 19, 1922 — OCTOBER 21, 2012

George McGovern

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PUBLIC BROADCASTING’S NEWEST STAR

I had a chat with one of the big shots from the shakedown department at a large Midwest NPR station this past week.

This person said the station had just completed its fall fund drive and it was a smash this year.

The station, according to the nabob, breezed way past its fundraising goal.

“Hmm, why do you suppose?” I asked.

“Oh, simple,” the person said. “The minute Mitt Romney started talking about Big Bird the calls started coming in. And this was even before the fund drive began.”

Fundraisers: Ray Magliozzi, Mitt Romney, & Tom Magliozzi

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Thanks, Mitt.

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LOVE AND MARRIAGE

As you know, plaster saints from coast to coast can hardly pray themselves to sleep at night for fear that gay marriage will be imposed upon them tomorrow morning.

Because, you know, all heterosexual marriages will be declared null and void and everyone will be compelled to marry and get naked with a member of their own gender. I wonder who my government-mandated new spouse will be. Pat Murphy?

Murph & Big Mike: Dear God, Please, No

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Yeesh, no wonder the pious of this holy land are petrified.

Anyway, they’re fighting gay marriage like the deranged tigers they are. For instance, the town of Springfield, Missouri, this summer considered adding sexual orientation and gender identity to its boilerplate human rights ordinance. Natch, the righteous of Springfield started quaking and hollering that the world was hurtling toward hell.

The Springfield City Council held hearings during which the public was allowed to comment on the whole shebang. Some pastor got up and began railing about “the word of god” and “the immorality and lawlessness that will be characteristic of the last days.”

He went on to say…, oh, just watch it.

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Hehehe. Neat, huh?

By the way, Springfield’s official nickname is “The Queen City of the Ozarks.”

Is there any need for comedy writers anymore?

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The only events listings you need in Bloomington.

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Sunday, October 21st, 2012

MUSIC ◗ IU Ford-Crawford Hall — 3rd Annual Indiana International Guitar Festival & Competition, Semi-finals of competition; 10am-1pm

MUSIC ◗ IU Sweeney Hall — 3rd Annual Indiana International Guitar Festival & Competition, Youth competition; 10am-3pm

CLASS ◗ Dagom Gaden Tensung Ling Monastery — Introductory Course on Buddhism; 10am

STUDIO TOUR ◗ Brown County, various locations — The Backroads of Brown County Studio Tour, free, self-guided tour of 16 local artists’ & craftspersons’ studios; 10am-5pm, through October

SPORTS ◗ IU Field Hockey Complex — Hoosier women’s field hockey vs. Villanova; Noon

SPORTS ◗ IU Bill Armstrong Stadium — Hoosier women’s soccer vs. Wisconsin; 1pm

HALLOWE’EN ◗ Haunted Hayride & Stables — Friendly hayrides; 1-7pm

FILM ◗ Buskirk Chumley Theater — Dark Carnival Film Festival: Schedule:

  • Screening Series 4: “Mother Died,” “Chompers,” “Shine,” “Roman’s Ark,” “Harsh Light of Day“; 1:30-3:30pm
  • Screening Series 5: “Lovebug,” “Weight of Emptyness,” “Firelight,” TBA feature: 3:45-6pm

OPERA ◗ IU Musical Arts Center — “The Merry Widow“; 2pm

PHOTOGRAPHY ◗ IU Mathers Museum of World Cultures — Curator’s Tour of “The Day in Its Color: A Hoosier Photographer’s Journey“; 2pm

STAGE ◗ Brown County Playhouse, Nashville — Drama, “Last Train to Nibroc“; 2pm

MUSIC ◗ IU Auer Hall — Doctoral Recital: Joni Chan; 2pm

FILM ◗ IU Cinema — “Detropia“; 3pm

MUSIC ◗ IU Sweeney Hall — 3rd Annual Indiana International Guitar Festival & Competition, Master Class, Martha Masters; 3-5pm

MUSIC ◗ IU Ford-Crawford Hall — Senior Recital, Daniel Herrick on tuba; 3pm

MUSIC ◗ IU Auer Hall — Faculty/Student Recital, Emile Naomoff & Kajeng Wong on piano; 4pm

MUSIC ◗ Muddy Boots Cafe, Nashville — David Sisson; 5-7pm

MUSIC ◗ IU Ford-Crawford Hall — Junior Recital, John Cooksey, baritone; 5pm

MUSIC ◗ IU Auer Hall — 3rd Annual Indiana International Guitar Festival & Competition, Finals of competition; 5:30-7pm

MUSIC & BENEFIT ◗ The Player’s Pub — Salaam, For Middle Way House; 6pm

FILM ◗ IU Cinema — “Unprecedented: The 200 Presidential Election“; 6:30pm

FILM ◗ Bear’s Place — Ryder Film Series: “Side by Side”; 9pm

MUSIC ◗ IU Ford-Crawford Hall — Octubafest, Daniel Perantoni, director; 7pm

STAGE ◗ Bloomington Playwrights Project — Ike & Julie Arnov PlayOffs, Writers, directors, & actors stage original mini-plays using themes, props, and single lines given to them 24 hours previously, Mayor Mark Kruzan will open the proceedings; 7:30pm

MUSIC ◗ The Bluebird — Drive-By-Truckers; 8pm

MUSIC ◗ IU Ford-Crawford Hall — 3rd Annual Indiana International Guitar Festival & Competition, Guest Recital, Edoardo Catemario; 8pm

MUSIC ◗ The Bishop — Brainstorm, The Kickback, Mid-American; 9pm

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ONGOING:

ART ◗ IU Art Museum — Exhibits:

  • “New Acquisitions,” David Hockney; through October 21st
  • “Paragons of Filial Piety,” by Utagawa Kuniyoshi; through December 31st
  • “Intimate Models: Photographs of Husbands, Wives, and Lovers,” by Julia Margaret, Cameron, Edward Weston, & Harry Callahan; through December 31st
  • “French Printmaking in the Seventeenth Century;” through December 31st
  • Celebration of Cuban Art & Film: Pop-art by Joe Tilson; through December 31st
  • “Threads of Love: Baby Carriers from China’s Minority Nationalities“; through December 23rd
  • “Workers of the World, Unite!” through December 31st
  • “Embracing Nature,” by Barry Gealt; through December 23rd
  • “Pioneers & Exiles: German Expressionism,” through December 23rd

ART ◗ Ivy Tech Waldron Center — Exhibits:

  • “Ab-Fab — Extreme Quilting,” by Sandy Hill; October 5th through October 27th
  • “Street View — Bloomington Scenes,” by Tom Rhea; October 5th through October 27th
  • “From the Heartwoods,” by James Alexander Thom; October 5th through October 27th
  • “The Spaces in Between,” by Ellen Starr Lyon; October 5th through October 27th

ART ◗ IU SoFA Grunwald Gallery — Exhibit:

  • Buzz Spector: Off the Shelf; through November 16th
  • Small Is Big; Through November 16th

ART ◗ IU Kinsey Institute Gallery — Exhibits:

  • “A Place Aside: Artists and Their Partners;” through December 20th
  • “Gender Expressions;” through December 20th

PHOTOGRAPHY ◗ IU Mathers Museum of World Cultures — Exhibit:

  • “CUBAmistad” photos

ART ◗ IU Mathers Museum of World Cultures — Exhibits:

  • “¡Cuba Si! Posters from the Revolution: 1960s and 1970s”
  • “From the Big Bang to the World Wide Web: The Origins of Everything”
  • “Thoughts, Things, and Theories… What Is Culture?”
  • “Picturing Archaeology”
  • “Personal Accents: Accessories from Around the World”
  • “Blended Harmonies: Music and Religion in Nepal”
  • “The Day in Its Color: A Hoosier Photographer’s Journey through Mid-century America”
  • “TOYing with Ideas”
  • “Living Heritage: Performing Arts of Southeast Asia”
  • “On a Wing and a Prayer”

BOOKS ◗ IU Lilly Library — Exhibit:

  • “Outsiders and Others: Arkham House, Weird Fiction, and the Legacy of HP Lovecraft;” through November 1st
  • “A World of Puzzles,” selections from the Slocum Puzzle Collection

PHOTOGRAPHY ◗ Soup’s On — Exhibit:

  • Celebration of Cuban Art & Culture: “CUBAmistad photos; through October

PHOTOGRAPHY ◗ Monroe County History Center — Exhibit:

  • “Bloomington: Then and Now,” presented by Bloomington Fading; through October 27th

ARTIFACTS ◗ Monroe County History Center — Exhibits:

  • Doctors & Dentists: A Look into the Monroe County Medical Professions
  • What Is Your Quilting Story?
  • Garden Glamour: Floral Fashion Frenzy
  • Bloomington Then & Now
  • World War II Uniforms
  • Limestone Industry in Monroe County

The Ryder & The Electron Pencil: Bloomington’s Best

10/14/2012
1 Comment
Coretta Scott King, Frank Bruni, Gay Marriage, Helen LaFave, Homophobia, Marcus Bachmann, Michele Bachmann, Racism, Republican Party, Rip Taylor, The Cell Block Chicago

The Pencil Today:

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THE QUOTE

“Homophobia is like racism and anti-semitism and other forms of bigotry in that it seeks to dehumanize a large group of people, to deny their humanity, their dignity, and their personhood.” — Coretta Scott King

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FAIRY TALE

Before you do anything else this morning, grab the Sunday New York Times op/ed section and read the piece by Frank Bruni about a lesbian woman whose stepsister is virulently homophobic.

The woman’s name is Helen LaFave.

Her step-sister’s name is Michele Bachmann.

Step-sister

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Bachmann, of course, is the wild-eyed Congressbeing from Minnesota who confers regularly with the putative creator of the Universe and is married to a Rip Taylor clone.

One Of These Men Is Mr. Michele Bachmann

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Bachmann, the Mrs., was a big force behind a statewide referendum Minnesotans will vote on November 6th that calls for a state constitutional amendment banning gay marriage.

Bachmann also has claimed that homosexuals as a group target children and that those who enjoy gay sex are living as “slaves.” Now, there’s a long-standing S&M boy bar on North Halsted Street in Chicago called The Cell Block whose clientele actually seeks a brand of indentured servitude, but I don’t think that’s what Bachmann was talking about.

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Anyway, Michele invariably says “I love you” to Helen every time they see each other at family functions. Considering the fact that Bachmann has made her political bones by vilifying gays and lesbians every chance she gets and she and her Rip Taylor-clone husband believe homosexuals can be “cured” of their dreaded disease, it seems likely she has no idea what the word “love” actually means.

Bachmann, by the way, likely will be reelected in her very conservative district.

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THE COMPANY THEY KEEP

The Republicans have to ask themselves why they attract guys like this:

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To be fair, not every Republican is a racist.

On the other hand, if a racist is a member of a political party, it’s invariably the GOP.

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The only events listings you need in Bloomington.

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Sunday, October 14th, 2012

Brought to you by The Electron Pencil: Bloomington Arts, Culture, Politics, and Hot Air. Daily.

BENEFIT RUN ◗ Staring point: IU Dunn Meadow — 2012 Run for the Animals, For Monroe County Humane Association; 8:30am-12:30pm

CLASS ◗ Dagom Gaden Tensung Ling Monastery — Introductory course on Buddhism; 10-11am

STUDIO TOUR ◗ Brown County, various locations — The Backroads of Brown County Studio Tour, free, self-guided tour of 16 local artists’ & craftspersons’ studios; 10am-5pm, through October

MUSIC ◗ Cafe Django — Brunch Show: Peter Kienle on guitar; 11am

HALLOWE’EN ◗ Haunted Hayride & Stables; Friendly rides; 1-7pm

STAGE ◗ Brown County Playhouse, Nashville — Drama, “Last Train to Nibroc“; 2pm

MUSIC ◗ Muddy Boots Cafe, Nashville — Dobbs Project; 5-7pm

MUSIC ◗ The Player’s Pub — Hazelwood String Band; 6pm

FILM ◗ IU Cinema — “All the King’s Men“; 6:30pm

FILM ◗ Bear’s Place — Ryder Film Series: “2 Days in New York“; 7pm

WORKSHOP ◗ Tibetan Mongolian Buddhist Cultural Center — Seven Trainings in Contemplation, Presented by Rigzin Drolma & Anne Klein; 7-9pm

MUSIC ◗ The Bishop — How to Dress Well, o F F Love; 9pm

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ONGOING:

ART ◗ IU Art Museum — Exhibits:

  • “New Acquisitions,” David Hockney; through October 21st
  • Paintings by Contemporary Native American Artists; through October 14th
  • “Paragons of Filial Piety,” by Utagawa Kuniyoshi; through December 31st
  • “Intimate Models: Photographs of Husbands, Wives, and Lovers,” by Julia Margaret, Cameron, Edward Weston, & Harry Callahan; through December 31st
  • “French Printmaking in the Seventeenth Century;” through December 31st
  • Celebration of Cuban Art & Film: Pop-art by Joe Tilson; through December 31st
  • “Workers of the World, Unite!” through December 31st
  • “Embracing Nature,” by Barry Gealt; through December 23rd
  • “Pioneers & Exiles: German Expressionism,” through December 23rd

ART ◗ Ivy Tech Waldron Center — Exhibits:

  • “Ab-Fab — Extreme Quilting,” by Sandy Hill; October 5th through October 27th
  • “Street View — Bloomington Scenes,” by Tom Rhea; October 5th through October 27th
  • “From the Heartwoods,” by James Alexander Thom; October 5th through October 27th
  • “The Spaces in Between,” by Ellen Starr Lyon; October 5th through October 27th

ART ◗ IU SoFA Grunwald Gallery — Exhibit:

  • “Samenwerken,” Interdisciplinary collaborative multi-media works; through October 11th

ART ◗ IU Kinsey Institute Gallery — Exhibits:

  • “A Place Aside: Artists and Their Partners;” through December 20th
  • “Gender Expressions;” through December 20th

PHOTOGRAPHY ◗ IU Mathers Museum of World Cultures — Exhibit:

  • “CUBAmistad” photos

ART ◗ IU Mathers Museum of World Cultures — Exhibits:

  • “¡Cuba Si! Posters from the Revolution: 1960s and 1970s”
  • “From the Big Bang to the World Wide Web: The Origins of Everything”
  • “Thoughts, Things, and Theories… What Is Culture?”
  • “Picturing Archaeology”
  • “Personal Accents: Accessories from Around the World”
  • “Blended Harmonies: Music and Religion in Nepal”
  • “The Day in Its Color: A Hoosier Photographer’s Journey through Mid-century America”
  • “TOYing with Ideas”
  • “Living Heritage: Performing Arts of Southeast Asia”
  • “On a Wing and a Prayer”

BOOKS ◗ IU Lilly Library — Exhibit:

  • “Outsiders and Others:Arkham House, Weird Fiction, and the Legacy of HP Lovecraft;” through November 1st
  • “A World of Puzzles,” selections form the Slocum Puzzle Collection

PHOTOGRAPHY ◗ Soup’s On — Exhibit:

  • Celebration of Cuban Art & Culture: “CUBAmistad photos; through October

PHOTOGRAPHY ◗ Monroe County History Center — Exhibit:

  • “Bloomington: Then and Now,” presented by Bloomington Fading; through October 27th

ARTIFACTS ◗ Monroe County History Center — Exhibit:

09/27/2012
1 Comment
BF Skinner, Civil Unions, Gay Marriage, Gay Rights, Homophobia, Humanetrix, Morgan Freeman, Public Advocate of the United States, Rick Dietz, Susie Bright, The Combine 2012

The Pencil Today:

✍

THE QUOTE

“The real problem is not whether machines think but whether men do.” — BF Skinner

▲

GEEK LOVE

Rick Dietz‘s Humanetrix outfit started up The Combine three years ago to help Bloomington area tech geeks get even geekier.

Rick Dietz

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Humanetrix is a non-profit dedicated to helping technology savants meet each other and find opportunities to grow and earn in this crazy, mixed-up world. The Combine is an annual weekend orgy of gamers, hackers (in the positive sense of the word), electronics wizards, and other advanced forms of life getting together and listening to big shot entrepreneurs who’ve rolled sevens in their chosen tech fields. With luck one or two of them might interest a venture capitalist into funding their idea to wire everybody’s cerebral cortex into a worldwide network.

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The Combine starts tonight at The Atlas Bar (no website) on South College Avenue with bunches of cerebra on legs giving 5-minute presentations on their utopian, wild brain children.

Dietz et al call the weekend “3 days of tech-y goodness.” You ought click over to Humanetrix to see what’s what with local efforts to foster cutting edge creativity. You might even want to pitch in a few bucks for the cause.

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DUALITIES

Sex-positive cool chick Susie Bright points out a story that illustrates how different people can look at the same snapshot and see two different things.

Here’s the shot:

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Yeah, it’s two guys holding hands and smooching in front of the Brooklyn Bridge. It’s their official engagement picture, taken by a professional photographer. See, they love each other and probably will have sex at some time in the near future at the moment the shutter is clicked. It’s all happy and, well, gay.

And that sickens too many folks in this holy land.

Among the nauseated many who’ve viewed this tableau were the prigs of some holier-than-thou gang that calls itself Public Advocate of the United States, although it must be noted I never asked these dopes to say anything for me. PAUS essentially stole the photo and turned it into a couple of polemic campaign mailers against some godless commie liberal abortionist Satanist Democratic candidates in backwater states. Here’s what the photo looked like after PAUS got their lily-white hands on it:

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The Jean White in the doctored photo’s overlay was running in the Dem primary in Colorado earlier this year. PAUS PhotoShopped the New York City skyline to a more Colorado-friendly pine vista. Because, you know, those sick New York fags are gonna be taking over our virgin forests before you know it unless you vote against civil-union advocates like Jean White.

Someone had to do a lot of thinking about men kissing and having sex together to come up with this piece of work.

Which reminds me of a neat Tweet put out by the voice of god, Morgan Freeman:

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THAT ORANGE GLOW

Good news from Sarah Sandberg. Her sister Susan, a charter-member Pencillista and political animal around town, came out of thoracic surgery yesterday morning alive and kicking.

Well, as much as anyone emerging from general anesthetic can kick.

Sarah sez sis Susan is going to lay low for a time till she gets her jungle cat strength back. Susan already is prowling hospital halls even though she’s still hooked up to enough tubes and wires to make her look like a deep sea diver.

Actually, according to Sarah, because Susan hasn’t had the opportunity to wash the surgical Betadine off herself yet, she looks sort of like an Oompa-Loompa.

Where’s Susan?

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In any case, Susan was a Chicago chick for a time in her callow youth, so that means she’s tough as nails. Can’t wait to see her at the Book Corner again.

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SUSAN

From one of my fave 60s garage bands, The Buckinghams. Dedicated to you know who (NB: I only like Susan, so don’t take the band’s lyrics to heart — plus, I’d hate to have The Loved One clunk me on the head with a frying pan.)

▲

The only events listings you need in Bloomington.

✍

Thursday, September 27th, 2012

Brought to you by The Electron Pencil: Bloomington Arts, Culture, Politics, and Hot Air. Daily.

ART ◗ Ivy Tech Waldron Center, outside WFHB Studios — Participate in the construction of “The Messenger,” recycled metal sculpture to be installed at B-Line Trail; 9am-5pm

FAIR ◗ Monroe County Fairgrounds, Commercial Building West — 29th Annual American Red Cross Book Fair, +100,000 used books, CDs, DVDs, games, maps, sheet music, etc.; 9am-7pm, through October 2nd

WORKSHOP ◗ Monroe County Public Library — It’s Your Money: Talk To an Expert, free, confidential consultations with financial professionals; 4:30-6:30pm

MUSIC ◗ Muddy Boots Cafe, Nashville — Dobbs Project; 6-8:30pm

WORKSHOP ◗ Monroe County Public Library — Artists After Hours: Digital Artists & Web Designers, presented by Arts Alliance of Greater Bloomington; 6-9pm

SEMINAR ◗ Various venues — The Combine, 3rd annual display of talent , innovation, and entrepreneurial spirit, featuring speakers, workshops, idea pitches, and mixers; through Sunday, September 30th, today’s event:

❐ The Atlas Bar, 209 S. College Ave. — Ignite Bloomington #9 — 5-minute presentations by area tech geeks; 7pm

POLITICS ◗ Ivy Tech-Bloomington — League of Women Voters Candidate Forum, candidates for Monroe County Community Schools Corporation board; 7pm

FILM ◗ IU Memorial Union, Whittenberger Auditorium — UB Films: “Katy Perry: Part of Me;” 7pm

STAGE ◗ IU Halls Theatre — Drama, “When the Rain Stops Falling;” 7:30pm

MUSIC ◗ Cafe Django — Up Folk! with Travis Puntarelli & Friends; 7:30pm

MUSIC ◗ The Player’s Pub — Open mic hosted by Martina Samm; 7:30pm

COMEDY ◗ The Comedy Attic — Greg Behrendt; 8pm

MUSIC ◗ IU Auer Hall — New Music Ensemble, David Dzubay, director; 8pm

MUSIC ◗ Max’s Place — Americana showcase; 8pm

GAMES ◗ Serendipity Martini Bar — Team trivia; 8:30pm

MUSIC ◗ The Bluebird — Murder by Death, Maps and Atlases; 9pm

FILM ◗ IU Memorial Union, Whittenberger Auditorium — UB Films: “Perfect Pitch,” sneak preview; 11pm

ONGOING:

ART ◗ IU Art Museum — Exhibits:

  • “New Acquisitions,” David Hockney; through October 21st
  • “Paragons of Filial Piety,” by Utagawa Kuniyoshi; through December 31st
  • “Intimate Models: Photographs of Husbands, Wives, and Lovers,” by Julia Margaret, Cameron, Edward Weston, & Harry Callahan; through December 31st
  • “French Printmaking in the Seventeenth Century;” through December 31st
  • Celebration of Cuban Art & Film: Pop-art by Joe Tilson; through December 31st
  • “Workers of the World, Unite!” through December 31st

ART ◗ Ivy Tech Waldron Center — Exhibits:

  • “What It Means to Be Human,” by Michele Heather Pollock; through September 29th
  • “Land and Water,” by Ruth Kelly; through September 29th

ART ◗ IU SoFA Grunwald Gallery — Exhibit:

  • “Samenwerken,” Interdisciplinary collaborative multi-media works; through October 11th

ART ◗ IU Kinsey Institute Gallery — Exhibits opening September 28th:

  • “A Place Aside: Artists and Their Partners;” through December 20th
  • “Gender Expressions;” through December 20th

PHOTOGRAPHY ◗ IU Mathers Museum of World Cultures — Exhibit:

  • “CUBAmistad” photos

ART ◗ IU Mathers Museum of World Cultures — Exhibits:

  • “¡Cuba Si! Posters from the Revolution: 1960s and 1970s”
  • “From the Big Bang to the World Wide Web: The Origins of Everything”
  • “Thoughts, Things, and Theories… What Is Culture?”
  • “Picturing Archaeology”
  • “Personal Accents: Accessories from Around the World”
  • “Blended Harmonies: Music and Religion in Nepal”
  • “The Day in Its Color: A Hoosier Photographer’s Journey through Mid-century America”
  • “TOYing with Ideas”
  • “Living Heritage: Performing Arts of Southeast Asia”
  • “On a Wing and a Prayer”

BOOKS ◗ IU Lilly Library — Exhibit:

  • “Outsiders and Others:Arkham House, Weird Fiction, and the Legacy of HP Lovecraft;” through November 1st
  • “A World of Puzzles,” selections form the Slocum Puzzle Collection

PHOTOGRAPHY ◗ Soup’s On — Exhibit:

  • Celebration of Cuban Art & Culture: “CUBAmistad photos; through October

ART ◗ Boxcar Books — Exhibit:

  • Celebration of Cuban Art & Film: Papercuts by Ned Powell; through September

PHOTOGRAPHY ◗ Monroe County History Center — Exhibit:

  • “Bloomington: Then and Now,” presented by Bloomington Fading; through October 27th

ARTIFACTS ◗ Monroe County History Center — Exhibit:

  • “Doctors and Dentists: A Look into the Monroe County Medical professions“

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The Electron Pencil. Go there. Read. Like. Share.

09/13/2012
Leave a comment
2012 US Embassy Attacks, Barack Obama, Baywatch, Bleacher Preacher, Chicago Teachers Union, David Hasselhoff, Frank Zappa, Gay Marriage, Jerry Pritikin, John Mellencamp, KFC, Khloe Kardashian, Mitt Romney, Moon Unit Zappa, Paul Ryan, Rahm Emanuel, Ranker.com, Roots on the Square, Rudy Giuliani, Rupert Murdoch, Siam House, Slim Whitman, Ted Turner

The Pencil Today:

✍

THE QUOTE

“Rupert Murdoch is the most dangerous man in the world.” — Ted Turner

▲

PAY ‘EM: DAY 4

Jerry Pritikin, who’s also known as the “Bleacher Preacher” (he sermonizes on the religion that is Chicago Cubs fandom), lives across Wells Street from Walter Payton College Prep School, one of the jewels of the Chicago Public Schools.

His high-rise window gives him a front row seat to the daily picket line outside the school’s front door. He snapped this shot early yesterday morning:

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And yesterday Rupert Murdoch sloshed out of the primordial ooze that is his natural habitat to throw his support behind the intransigent Mayor Rahm Emanuel in negations with the Chicago Teachers Union.

Murdoch joins a roster of Emanuel’s anti-labor backers that already includes Romney, Paul Ryan, Rudy Giuliani, and everybody else who favors a for-profit, corporate-run educational system.

In case corporate school management doesn’t alarm you, keep in mind it is the private, for-profit sector that has given us global warming, job-outsourcing, the financial meltdown of 2007-08, monster SUVs, Khloe Kardashian, and KFC’s Double Down.

Oh, and another thing:

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YOU WORK WITH WHAT YOU’VE GOT

As repugnant as Willard Romney’s lightning-quick politicization of the embassy attacks was to all serious-minded, concerned, right-thinking people — and even some members of his own Republican Party — his finger-pointing might have been a smart political move.

I reacted strongly on Facebook yesterday to his fatuous charge that President Obama “sympathizes” with the attackers:

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Upon reflection, though, it occurs to me that Romney’s remarks might not have been as ill-considered as many wags and experts seem to think.

It’s becoming clear that Romney’s ceiling is 50 percent of those likely to go to the polls in November. As in, that’s the best he can hope for. If he wins, it won’t be because his party loves him to pieces nor because he inspires passion among the so-called independents.

In fact, his core constituency, whether he likes it or not, are those who are still scared to death of the brown “outsider” they consider Obama to be.

That’s whom he was speaking to yesterday. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

Obama said that Romney shoots before he aims. Maybe, but not in this case. Romney was aiming directly at the limbic brains of people who already think Obama is an Arab plant in the White House. Romney and his strategists know that they have to get those folks out in bunches on Election Day.

Romney’s Opponent

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You know as well as I do that plenty of people will be telling each other that Obama is cozy with Muslim extremists — and as proof they’ll repeat Romney’s slander.

Get ready for more of this: the election is only 54 days away.

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WHY, MOM AND DAD, WHY?

Bloomington’s own John Mellencamp tops Ranker.com’s list of celebrity parents who’ve saddled their heirs and heiresses with absurd or grotesque names.

And just to show how preposterous the mania for baby-naming “creativity” has grown among those whose lives are devoting to begging for our attention, Frank Zappa’s decision to dub his daughter Moon Unit only ranks No. 6 on the list.

Here are Ranker’s top ten Most Ridiculous Celebrity Baby Names:

  1. Speck Wildhorse Mellencamp (parents Mellencamp and Elaine Irwin)
  2. Moxie CrimeFighter Jillete (Penn Gillette and Emily Zolten)
  3. Pilot Inspektor Riesgraf Lee (Jason Lee and Beth Riesgraf)
  4. Little Pixie Frou-Frou Geldof (Bob Geldof and Paula Yates)
  5. Pirate Houseman Davis (Jonathan and Deven Davis)
  6. Moon Unit Zappa (Frank and Adelaide Zappa
  7. Fifi Trixibelle Geldof (Bob Geldof and Paula Yates)
  8. Jermajesty Jackson (Jermain Jackson and Alejandra Oaziaza)
  9. Audio Science Clayton ( Shannyn Sossamon and Dallas Clayton)
  10. Kal-El Coppola Cage (Nicolas Cage and Alice Kim)

Moon Unit Zappa Managed To Avoid Committing Patricide

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Lest you think Nic Cage’s kid was named in honor of some hero of the Arabic-speaking world, “Kal-El” was actually the name of the kid from Krypton who eventually grew up to be Superman. In the comics, Nic.

Check out the list for 40 more names guaranteed to earn the average child daily beatings in the schoolyard. Some teasers: Larry King named his son Cannon and Bob Geldof makes the list a third time and Paula Yates a fourth.

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HOLY MATRIMONY

Thanks to Deanna Goe-Truelock of Roots on the Square and the Siam House for pointing these cogent arguments out:

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THE WISDOM OF THE OUTSIDE WORLD

Many people think the rest of the world possesses a wisdom and sensitivity that we in this holy land lack. That may be, but there are some powerful arguments to refute the claim.

To wit: the world beyond these shores has embraced the likes of Slim Whitman as well as “Baywatch” and David Hasselhoff.

It follows, then, that the non-US world concerns itself with a sport that’s almost as scintillating as living through a coma.

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From XKCD Via I Love Charts

(Note: The “Football” in green is soccer. The “Football” in, um, vomit-after-a-night-of-drinking-cheap-wine red is American football — y’know, the sport of traumatic brain injury.)

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09/08/2012
2 Comments
Brendan Ayanbadejo, Candy Corn Oreos, Chris Kluwe, Emmet Burns Jr., Gay Marriage, Mary Roach, Michele Bachmann, Mike Pence, Mitt Romney, Nabisco, NFL, Rep. Steve King, Sen. Joe McCarthy, Tea Party Caucus, Todd Akin

The Pencil Today:

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THE QUOTE

“Life contains these things: leakage and wickage and discharge, pus and snot and slime and gleet. We are biology. We are reminded of this at the beginning and the end, at birth and at death. In between we do what we can to forget.” — Mary Roach

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POLITICAL DISCOURSE

Oh, man! NFL football players are jumping on the gay marriage bandwagon!

Whooda thunk it?

My least fave professional sporting league generally is known for political and social outbursts that would make Mussolini proud. But Baltimore Ravens linebacker Brendan Ayanbadejo came out publicly in support of Maryland’s gay marriage ballot initiative recently.

Brendan Ayanbadejo

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A state legislator named Emmet Burns Jr. immediately dashed off a letter to the owner of the Ravens, demanding he shut his employee up.

Maryland State Delegate Emmett Burns, Jr.

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Well, that just got Minnesota Vikings punter Chris Kluwe teed off enough to send a letter of his own to Burns, defending his league-mate as well as gay marriage. Among the zingers Kluwe included in his red-assed missive were:

  • “Your vitriolic hatred and bigotry make me ashamed and disgusted to think that you are in any way responsible for shaping policy at any level.”
  • “What on earth would possess you to be so mind-bogglingly stupid?”
  • “I can’t even begin to fathom the cognitive dissonance that must be coursing through your rapidly addled brain right now….”
  • “… [W]hy do you hate freedom?”
  • “If gay marriage becomes legal, are you worried that all of a sudden you’ll start thinking about penis?”

This is beautiful!

  • “I can assure you that gay people getting married will have zero effect on your life. They won’t come into your house and steal your children. They won’t magically turn you into a lustful cockmonster….”

Kluwe is becoming the modern-day Oscar Wilde.

Chris Kluwe

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  • “In closing, I would like to say that I hope this letter, in some small way, causes you to reflect upon the magnitude of the colossal foot in the mouth clusterfuck you so brazenly unleashed on a man whose only crime was speaking out for something he believed in.”

And Kluwe closes the letter by calling Burns, “Asshole.”

I dunno about you, but suddenly I’m a Minnesota Vikings fan.

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KING OF THE UNITED STATES

Think Progress runs a laundry list of bizarre, regressive, and downright Cro-Magnon quotes and positions offered up by Iowa Congressman Steve King, a Republican.

One Of These Guys Is A Member Of Congress

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King sits on the Agriculture, Small Business, and Judiciary committees. He also is a big shot in the Congressional Tea Party Caucus, natch. (Indiana’s Mike Pence, now running for governor, also is a member.) King’s already become known for loathing abortion and birth control, digging Rep. Todd Akin, and deeming racial profiling to be pretty cool.

Per Think Progress, though, we learn that King is just as whacked out as the more notorious Michele Bachmann — whom he also digs the most.

Pals

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Here are a few revelations about a guy Mitt Romney endorses for reelection

  • King wants the US to build an electric fence at the border with Mexico. “We do this with livestock all the time,” he says by way of explanation.
  • King wants states to ban birth control but feels state bans on pâté de foie gras are unconstitutional.
  • He’s a birther.
  • King was sympathetic to the man who crashed an airplane into an Austin, Texas IRS building in February, 2010.
  • King once described witch-hunting Sen Joe McCarthy as “a great American hero.”

Some Hero

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Romney says if he’s elected president, King would be “my partner in Washington.”

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FRANKEN-COOKIES

The world is coming to an end.

Want proof?

Here it is:

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Oh, no, this ain’t no Onion stuff. Nabisco is actually putting these boxes of extruded tumors on sale Monday, September 10th.

You can stock up on them through Hallowe’en, by which time an orthopedic surgeon will be sawing both your legs off below the knee, thanks to the ravages of orange and white cookie-induced diabetes.

Enjoy!

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A SECOND CAR?

Folks, I wonder if you think I’d look good in this little model.

A 1961 Ford Gyron Concept Car

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Well?

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SIZE AND MEN

Yeesh, this one gives me vertigo just thinking about it:

From The Universe

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Back on Earth, the chicks (and the one or two males who pitch in occasionally) at Skepchick have been bombarded with hate emails and Tweets of late.

Their offense? Merely that they’re outspoken females (and the one or two guys who tolerate them).

What puzzles me is why loads and loads of men despise women. Even if you think women are nothing more than sex objects, wouldn’t you say to yourself, “Man, I dig those sex objects!”?

I don’t get a lot of things, which is often frustrating, but this is one thing I’m glad I can’t grasp.

Anyway, Rebecca Watson, the big bosschick at Skepchick ruminates on the hate:

Click For Full Article

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05/13/2012
1 Comment
"States' Rights", 1948 Democratic National Convention, A Walk in the Woods, Appalachian Trail, Barack Obama, Bill Bryson, Claudia Brenner, Dixiecrats, Eight Bullets, Gay Marriage, Gay Rights, Harvey Fierstein, Hubert Humphrey, Jim Crow, LGBTQIA, Rebecca Wight, Robin Roberts, Sappho, Segregation, Stephen Carr, Strom Thurmond

The Pencil Today:

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THE QUOTE

“To me, if a heterosexual has the right to do it, then I have the right to do it.” — Harvey Fierstein

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RIGHTS

Personal to Barack Obama: Well done sir!

It’s about time a president came out in support of gay rights.

The President Comes Out

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Obama’s endorsement of gay marriage was a watershed event in LGBTQIA history. It’s like Hubert Humphrey simultaneously electrifying and appalling the 1948 Democratic National Convention with his “bright sunshine” civil rights speech.

Oh hell, here’s the meaty paragraph of Humphrey’s thunderous call for equality for the nation’s blacks:

“To those who say, my friends, to those who say that we are rushing this issue of civil rights, I say to them we are 172 years too late! To those who say this civil rights program is an infringement on states’ rights, I say this: The time has arrived in America for the Democratic Party to get out of the shadow of states’ rights and walk forthrightly into the bright sunshine of human rights!”

Humphrey Comes Out

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Humphrey’s passionate speech is credited with pushing enough fence sitters over to the civil rights side of the argument that had been raging within the party. After black soldiers fought and died for the US in World War II, the call began to go up for equality on the homefront. Black activists, northern urban bosses, and liberals beat the drum for civil rights. Most southern Dems at the time were racist white men to whom the ideas of integration and voting rights for blacks were as horrifying as, well, the idea of two men or two women marrying are today to most Republicans.

Political insiders thought the Dems would never accept a civil rights platform in ’48 but after Humphrey’s heartfelt, courageous plea, the party did.

Humphrey took a huge chance, going up to the dais and arguing the case for dark skinned Americans. He gambled with his political career. He gambled as well with the future of the Democratic Party. The southerners soon thereafter began to drift away from the Dems. Strom Thurmond got so huffy that he cranked up his own party, the short lived Dixiecrats, dedicated to segregation, Jim Crow laws, and those euphemistic “states’ rights.” The “Solid South” eventually  took up permanent residence within the GOP.

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Obama’s statement the other day isn’t as dramatic as Humphrey’s was. Still, it’s in the ballpark. A politician — a being traditionally loath to alienating even a sliver of the electorate — steps up and says To hell with it all: I have to say what needs to be said.

Of course, the argument can be made that Obama’s endorsement of gay marriage will alienate no one — those who are sickened by the idea of gay marriage likely wouldn’t have voted for him anyway. And the endorsement now probably will energize his base.

My take is Obama always was in favor of gay marriage all along but was hesitant to say so for fear of teeing off the black Christian community. His advisers probably told him those folks weren’t going to vote for the GOP ticket no matter what he said.

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A STAND AGAINST MURDEROUS HATE

So it’s a fortuitous coincidence that I’m in the middle of re-reading Bill Bryson’s book, “A Walk in the Woods.” In it, he describes his attempt to hike the 2000-mile-plus Appalachian Trail.

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When he hits the Pennsylvania leg of his journey he mentions a terribly tragic tale of murder on that part of the trail.

I did a little research and now will flesh out the story of Claudia Brenner and Rebecca Wight. In 1988, the two young women were hiking the AT. They happened to be a couple. A 29-year-old man who essentially lived on the trail encountered them and, apparently suspicious, tailed them. It seems he saw the two exchanging words and gestures that proved they were lesbians. He didn’t care much for the notion; he also carried a .22-caliber rifle.

He Carried A Rifle

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Claudia and Rebecca were spooked by the guy but eventually lost sight of him as they hiked. By late afternoon, they’d found a nice clearing in which to set up their camp for the night. They looked around and determined that they were alone. With nightfall approaching, they also figured any other hikers would be setting up camp as well so they believed they had enough privacy to engage in a bit of au naturel lovemaking.

Now, this was a scene that might inspire poets and painters. Certainly Sappho made a name for herself describing such encounters. Who among us, after all, hasn’t fantasized partaking of a “refreshment” (h/t to Mark Twain) in such an edenic setting?

Sappho

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What with the gentle breeze, the setting sun, the chirp of birds, the buzz of bees (hopefully far off), and the soft blanket of clover underneath them, Claudia and Rebecca were surely in a state of near-ecstasy when eight shots rang out.

One shot hit Claudia in the arm, another in the face. Three more shots peppered her head and neck. A shot also hit Rebecca in the head; a second entered her back and exploded her liver. One of the shots missed. The two tried to flee but Rebecca’s injuries were far too severe for her to get far. She directed Claudia to go for the police while she lay in the forest. Claudia did everything she could to stanch her partner’s bleeding before she left.

Unnatural Penetration

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Claudia stumbled through the woods for four miles and finally reached a road. She tried to flag down a ride but, partially dressed and covered in blood, she apparently freaked out the occupants of the first car that came along and it sped past her. A second car stopped and raced her to the nearest town. The cops dashed off to where Claudia said her mate was waiting. Claudia was taken to the hospital.

While in the hospital, Claudia learned Rebecca had been found dead. The cops also found a knit cap, 25 bullets, and the rifle in a spot 82 feet from where the two women had been making love. The items belonged to a man named Stephen Carr.

Carr was found a week and a half later hiding out in a Mennonite community. He told police he’d come north from Florida, which he left because he was sickened by the sight of men kissing in public there. At his trial, Carr claimed the sight of the two women making love turned him mad with rage. He also claimed to have been raped as a child as well as in prison before the shooting. Carr’s attorney eventually agreed to enter a guilty plea on his behalf in exchange for life without parole.

Brenner wrote a book, “Eight Bullets: One Woman’s Story of Surviving Anti-Gay Violence.” She went on to become an activist against gay-bashing.

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One more thing: Claudia and Rebecca had driven to Pennsylvania for their leisurely hike. They’d parked their car in a lot at Dead Woman Hollow.

The growing acceptance of LGBTQIA people, punctuated by Barack Obama’s endorsement of gay marriage, certainly won’t stop lunatics like Stephen Carr from hating queers. But at least they know now that the person in the White House isn’t on their side.

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Electron Pencil event listings: Music, art, movies, lectures, parties, receptions, benefits, plays, meetings, fairs, conspiracies, rituals, etc.

Sunday, May  13, 2012

◗ IU Mathers Museum of World Cultures — Exhibits, “Blended Harmonies: Music and Religion in Nepal”; through July 1st — “Esse Quam Videri (To Be, Rather than To Be Seen): Muslim Self Portraits; through June 17th — “From the Big Bang to the World Wide Web: The Origins of Everything”; through July 1st

◗ IU Kinsey Institute Gallery — Exhibit, “Man as Object: Reversing the Gaze”; through June 29th

◗ Ivy Tech Waldron Arts Center — Exhibits at various galleries: Angela Hendrix-Petry, Benjamin Pines, Nate Johnson, and Yang Chen; all through May 29th

◗ Trinity Episcopal Church — Art exhibit, “Creation,” collaborative mosaic tile project; through May 31st

◗ Monroe County Public Library — Art exhibit, “Muse Whisperings,” water color paintings by residents of Sterling House; through May 31st

◗ Monroe County History Center — Photo exhibit, “Bloomington: Then and Now” by Bloomington Fading; through October 27th

◗ Buskirk-Chumley Theater — Cardinal Stage Company presents “Big River: The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn”;  2 & 7pm

◗ IU Cinema — Film, “The Kid with a Bike”; 6:30pm

◗ Bear’s Place — Ryder Film Series, “Keyhole”; 7pm — “444 The Last Day on Earth”; 7:45pm

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