Monthly Archives: April 2012

04/30/2012
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al Qaeda, Alycin Bektesh, Barack Obama, bin Laden Death Hoax Theory, Chad Carrothers, Cindy Sheehan, Conspiracy Theory, Firehouse Broadcasting, George W. Bush, Iraq War, LiveScience.com, Matt Taibbi, Osama bin Laden, Pablo Picasso, Pakistan, Ryan Lee Dawes, Society of Professional Journalists, The Great Derangement, The Onion, US Navy SEAL Team 6, WFHB

The Pencil Today:

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THE QUOTE

“You mustn’t always believe what I say. Questions tempt you to tell lies, particularly when there is no answer.” — Pablo Picasso

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TELL ME SWEET LITTLE LIES

It’ll be a year tomorrow that a posse of Navy SEALs cornered that varmint Osama bin Laden and plugged him in his bedroom.

President Barack Obama had large enough cagliones to order the secret assault on ObL’s hideout in Pakistan and the raid paid off big time — sort of. Had a Republican president been in charge there would have been daily parades in his honor in every big city since the al Qaeda boss’s take-down.

The President Watches The Operation Unfold

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But because Obama is a Muslim mole whose goal is to transform our holy land into a commie/Nazi gulag/stalag, he hasn’t exactly been showered with laurel leaves since his big night.

Funny thing is, almost within minutes of the announcement that ObL had been executed, the conspiracy theorists leaped out of the woodwork. Chief among them, sad to say, was Cindy Sheehan, the California mom whose son was killed in the Iraq War and who channeled her grief into highly publicized anti-war activism.

Literally within hours after the news of bin Laden’s death broke, Sheehan famously wrote on her website, “I am sorry, but if you believe the newest death of OBL (sic), you’re stupid.” She went on to detail some very iffy evidence that the whole operation was a hoax.

Poor Sheehan lost whatever credibility she had left after that.

Cindy Sheehan

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Fringe-y organizations both left and right jumped on the ObL Death Hoax bandwagon for the next several weeks, then fell silent. A brief scan of the internet shows that no one has said much about such hoax claims since about June last year.

Which is odd because conspiracies and hoaxes usually seem to have the staying power of a bad cold in January.

Here’s a list of the ten top conspiracy theories in the US, as compiled by LiveScience.com:

  • 10) 9/11 was an inside job (2001)
  • 9) Princess Diana was murdered (1997)
  • 8) Subliminal advertising (1973)
  • 7) The Apollo moon landings were faked (1978)
  • 6) Paul McCartney died (1966)
  • 5) All the people and organizations who killed JFK (mid-1960s)
  • 4) The Roswell UFO crash (1947)
  • 3) “The Protocols of the Elders of Zion” (1905)
  • 2) The epidemic of satanic cults (1980s)
  • 1) Big Pharma (1990s-2000s)

Leave It To The Onion

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As you can see, a good conspiracy/hoax theory can last a century or more. But today’s technology and the mass media bombardment of us with deception and myth has turned us into ever-more credulous suckers.

Journalist/polemicist Matt Taibbi has a nice explanation of the phenomenon in his book, “The Great Derangement: A Terrifying True Story of War, Politics, and Religion.” On pages 183 to 189 (paperback edition) he lays out the ways advertisers, pols, and charlatans have inundated us with phony claims, distortions, spin, subterfuge, and outright lies. Here, I cherry-pick the key points from his thesis:

“How many lies are too many? How much bullshit is the human organism designed to tolerate before it starts to malfunction? Is there a breaking point?

“Mainstream American society has never been designed to confront difficult or dangerous truths. In fact, our mass media has corrupted the idea of objective truth so badly in the past five or six decades that it is now hard to tell when anyone is being serious about anything — the news, the movies, commercials, anything….

“Somehow ordinary people were supposed to keep track of all this, make their own sense of it. Decades after Watergate, Vietnam, and the Kennedy assassination, Americans were forced to rummage for objective reality in a sea of the most confusing and diabolical web of bullshit ever created by human minds — a false media tableau created mainly a s a medium to sell products, a medium in which even the content of the ‘news’ was affected by commercial considerations….”

“This was too much for the people to handle….”

“America by the early years of this century was a confusing kaleidoscope of transparent, invidious bullshit, a place where politicians hired consultants to teach them to ‘straight talk,’ where debates were decided by inadvertent coughs and smiles and elections were resolved via competing smear campaigns, and where network news programs — subsidized by advertisements for bogus alchemist potions like Enzyte that supposedly made your dick grow by magic — could feature as a lead story newly released photos of the Tom Cruise love child, at a time when young American men and women were dying every day in the deserts of the Middle East.

“The message of all of this was that Americans were now supposed to make their own sense of the world. There was no dependable authority left to turn to, no life raft in an increasingly perilous informational sea. This coincided with an age when Americans now needed to understand more of the world than ever before…. Now… Joe American has to turn on the Internet and tell himself a story that makes sense to him.”

Cindy Sheehan reached the breaking point when Barack Obama held his historic midnight news conference a year ago. Of course, she was pushed toward that snap by the death of her child. But the rest of us are under strain as well, if not so heart-wrenching.

We’re living in an age when fiction and reality are interchangeable. That’s why George W. Bush could lie us into a war and Barack Obama could sell himself as a man who would change government.

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So I’m surprised the Osama bin Laden Death Hoax stories didn’t last. It doesn’t mean we’re becoming more rational and sophisticated — probably only that the vast majority liked the the story of the Navy SEAL Team 6 operation a year ago too much.

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REAL NEWS

WFHB‘s Alycin Bektesh, Ryan Dawes, and Chad Carrothers lugged home a lot of hardware after Friday night’s Society of Professional Journalists annual awards dinner in Indianapolis. The Firehouse broadcasters won 19 awards for excellence, going up against news departments from around the state.

The WFHB Gang Friday Night In Indy

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Bloomington’s community radio station consistently puts out the best local news and special programming in the region. No commercial station nearby can hold a candle to the news department that current GM Carrothers started about a decade ago.

Carrothers took a chance, donating his time and considerable energies for no pay at first, just to get the operation off the ground. Now WFHB News puts all those for-profit radio news departments to shame.

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LIAR, LIAR

The 1965 hit by The Castaways.

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Electron Pencil event listings: Music, art, movies, lectures, parties, receptions, benefits, plays, meetings, fairs, conspiracies, rituals, etc.

Monday, April 30, 2012

◗ IU Mathers Museum of World Cultures — Exhibits, “Blended Harmonies: Music and Religion in Nepal”; through July 1st — “Esse Quam Videri (To Be, Rather than To Be Seen): Muslim Self Portraits; through June 17th — “From the Big Bang to the World Wide Web: The Origins of Everything”; through July 1st, 9am-4:30pm

From “Esse Quam Videri”

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◗ IU Grunwald (SOFA) Gallery — MFA & BFA Thesis 3 exhibitions; through May 5th

◗ IU Kinsey Institute Gallery — Exhibit, “Man as Object: Reversing the Gaze”; through June 29th, 1:30-5pm

◗ IU Asian Culture Center — Henna 101; 4pm

◗ Bell Trace Health & Living Center — Session 2 of a 4-part class, “Life in a British Period Drama”; 6:30pm

◗ IU Cinema — Student film, “Mudcity”; 7pm

◗ IU Department of Folklore & Ethnomusicology, Performance & Lecture Hall — Students perform Ghanaian music, drumming, and dance, directed by Bernard Woma, guest artists: Evelyn Yaa Bekyore and Joyce Bekyore; 7pm

Bernard Woma

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◗ The Player’s Pub — Songwriters Showcase; 8pm

◗ The Bluebird — Dave Walters Karaoke; 8pm

◗ The Bishop — DJs, The Vallures; Film, “Brick and Mortar and Love”; both at 8pm

◗ Bear’s Place — Archie Powell & the Exports, Sandman Viper Command, Deadghost, Keeping Cars; 9pm

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04/29/2012
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John Anderson, Markos Moulitsas, Richard Lugar, Richard M. Nixon, Richard Mourdock, Ronald Reagan, Soma Coffee, Tyler Ferguson

The Pencil Today:

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THE QUOTE

“The funny thing is, Reagan was a flaming liberal compared to today’s American Taliban…. Any Republican today talking or governing like Ronald Reagan would earn a swift kick out of the party, labeled as a tax-raising, terrorist-negotiating, gay-loving, amnesty-granting, big spender. Yet that hasn’t stopped the American Taliban from elevating Reagan to sainthood, airbrushing out his more nuanced beliefs and actions. Republicans have been thrown to the curb for far less these days.” — Markos Moulitsas

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DEMOCRATIC SABOTEURS

Real Estate John posed a question to the other heavy-lidded members of the Boys of Soma early this morning.

“Tell me what you think,” he began. “I’m thinking of registering in the Republican primary.”

This was followed by the roar of silence. We were stunned. Tough Guy Mac, who’d been nursing a post-Saturday night headache, stirred in his seat.

Pistol Packin’ Pat broke the hush. “Why the hell would you do that?” he demanded.

“Well,” John said, “Mourdock has to be stopped.”

Mourdock

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Mourdock being Richard Mourdock, current Indiana State Treasurer, and running in the Republican primary to unseat six-term US Senator Richard Lugar. Mourdock has been endorsed by a bunch of pro-business/anti-sex/to-hell-with-you organizations as well as the Tea Party-ists. Mourdock’s the kind of guy who’d consider a longtime GOP stalwart like Lugar dangerously liberal.

Lugar

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The whole switch-parties-to-sabotage-the-other-party’s-primary thing began back in 1980 when liberal-ish Illinois Congressman John Anderson was running in the presidential primary versus Ronald Reagan. Lots of Dems were so petrified by the future Saint Ronald that they felt compelled to swallow their dignity and call themselves Republican for a moment to stop his inexorable rise to the throne.

Anderson Went On To Run As A 3rd Party Candidate in 1980

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In fact, I’d heard from another woman the other day that she was planning to vote in the GOP primary, despite being a Dem. So I had well-rehearsed advice for him.

“Lemme tell you what I told that woman, ” I said. “What happens if you’re hit by a truck and killed the day after voting in the Republican primary. That would mean the last civic act of your life would be voting Republican. Do you want that stain on your eternal soul?”

Democrats Who Voted In Republican Primaries

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Real Estate John thought about this for a moment and then nodded.

This didn’t prevent the rest of the Boys from wagging their fingers at him. Tough Guy Mac pressed him, “Now, why in the hell would you do something as stupid as that?”

Pistol Packin’ Pat, the political savant among us, offered a more practical consideration. “It’s not a smart strategy,” he said. “We want Mourdock to win. The Democrats poll much better against him than against Lugar.”

Tough Guy Mac still couldn’t believe what he’d heard. He hissed, “Jesus Christ!”

“Don’t do it, John,” I added. “I’m trying to save you from yourself.”

“Alright guys,” RE John said, defensively. “I won’t do it. Jeez.”

We sat and simmered for a few moments. It occurred to me that both aspirants for the Republican nomination shared the same first name. Nobody names their kid Richard anymore, for obvious reasons.

I mused aloud: “You know, there are too many guys in politics named Richard.”

Type-A Tyler, one of the boys despite possessing the wrong plumbing, said: “There’s a reason for that.”

None of the rest of us needed to ask for an explanation.

The Biggest Richard Of Them All

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Electron Pencil event listings: Music, art, movies, lectures, parties, receptions, benefits, plays, meetings, fairs, conspiracies, rituals, etc.

Sunday, April 29, 2012

◗ Cafe Django — Brunch, Maddie Arnold on guitar; 11am-1pm

◗ Trained Eye Arts Center — Women Exposed 7; Noon

Women Exposed 7

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◗ Mathers Museum of World Cultures — Exhibits, “Esse Quam Videre (To be rather than to seem), Muslim self-portraits; From the Big Bang to the World Wide Web: The Origins of Everything; Picturing Archeology; 1-4:30pm

◗ IU Willkie Auditorium — IU Pre-College Contemporary dance Program presents “Springtime on the Farm”; 3pm

◗ Max’s Place — Dog and Pony, Hoosier Hotcakes; 4:30pm

◗ Bub’s Burgers — Poker; 5:30pm

◗ The Player’s Pub — IU Extravanganza with Bob Stright; 6pm

◗ Waldron Arts Center — “Future of Jazz” featuring Jamey Aebersold; 6pm

Jamey Aebersold

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◗ IU Cinema — Film, Monika Truet’s Raw and Cooked; 6:30pm

◗ The Bishop — Spirit of ’68 presents: School of Seven Bells; 9pm

◗ Madame Walker Theatre Center — Blue Moon Sunday featuring Blackberry Jam; 7pm

◗ Max’s Place — Spring 2012 Coffeehouse; 7pm

◗ Bear’s Place — Ryder Film Series: “The Fairy”; 7:30pm

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04/28/2012
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Albert Einstein, Bloomington High School South, IDS, Jill Bolte Taylor, Joe LaMantia, Jon Hecker, My Stroke of Insight, Oprah Winfrey, Patricia Hecker, Public Art, Ron Howard, TED, The Brain Extravaganza!

The Pencil Today:

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THE QUOTE

“He who joyfully marches to music in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would suffice.” — Albert Einstein

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THE BRAIN

A woman I know was thumbing through the Indiana Daily Student yesterday when suddenly she stopped, jerked the paper closed, and shuddered.

“Ugh. Not for me,” she said.

“What is it?” I had to ask, because clearly she wanted me to.

She reopened the paper and showed me a story about the big new public art exhibition that’ll be taking place in our bustling metrop through the fall.

That is, Jill Bolte Taylor‘s brainchild (sorry), “The Brain Extravaganza!” It features 22 five-feet tall fiberglass brains, parked here and there around town. The hunks of gray matter were designed by her and sculptor Joe LaMantia.

Jill Bolte Taylor Loves Brains

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Artists have adopted the brains and gussied them up to their creative hearts’ desire. People will be able to buy the oversized organs, thus raising dough for the Jill Bolte Taylor Brains non-profit org that, in her words, supports “brain awareness, appreciation, exploration, education, injury prevention, neurological recovery, and the value of movement on mental and physical health.”

Phew.

Brain In A Jar

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(Note for our Bloomington readers: The following three paragraphs are written for the benefit of non-Bloomingtonians who aren’t as intimately familiar with JBT’s story as we are.)

Bolte Taylor, of course, is a world-renowned brain on two legs. She was already a respected neuroanatomist when, at the tender age of 37, she woke up one morning and found her thinking and motor processes bizarrely jumbled. Thanks to her brain expertise, she knew she was suffering a stroke.

She eventually had a golfball-sized blood clot removed from her brain. Her language center, among other structures, were profoundly affected. Her recover continues to this day.

She gave a hugely compelling TED talk about her experience, the response to which inspired her to write a book, called “My Stroke of Insight.” It became a New York Times Bestseller and Bolte Taylor went on to be fawned over by Oprah Winfrey. Her story is now the basis for a planned Ron Howard film.

Jill Bolte Taylor’s TED Talk

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Anyway, Bolte Taylor and LaMantia’s fiberglass brains will be dedicated today. Here’s Bolte Taylor describing them: “Big beautiful anatomically correct brains with 12 pairs of cranial nerves and all the gyri and sulci a girl could want on a brain.”

Surely, such visual exactitude is what caused my friend’s stomach to churn yesterday morning. For the less squeamish among us, they’ll be objects of celebration.

Local husband and wife artists Patricia and Jon Hecker have done a brain. See a series of pictures of their work-in-progress on Patricia’s Facebook page.

Brains In The Brawn Room At BHSS

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Get on over to the Bloomington High School South gym for a launch party today, noon to 2:00pm. Bolte Taylor and LaMantia will be there as will all 22 artist-decorated brains. It’s the only chance you’ll have to see them all in one place. The brains will be carted off to their display sites after the party.

I can’t think of a better organ to celebrate in these benighted days than the brain.

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Electron Pencil event listings: Music, art, movies, lectures, parties, receptions, benefits, plays, meetings, fairs, conspiracies, rituals, etc.

Saturday, April 28, 2012

◗ City Hall, Showers Plaza — Farmer’s Market; 8am-1pm

◗ Razors Image Barbershop — Free blood pressure, cholesterol, diabetes, HIV, BMI screenings & nutrition counseling; 9am-6pm

◗ IU Gladstein Fieldhouse, Indoor Track Facility — Redsteppers dance unit auditions; 10am

◗ Upland Brewing Company — Maifest, “Rock Out with Your Bock Out”; 11a-1a

◗ Trained Eye Arts Center — Women Exposed 7; Noon

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◗ Story Inn, Brown County — Indiana Wine Fair; Noon-7pm

◗ IU Grunwald (SOFA) Gallery — BFA & MFA Thesis 3 Exhibitions; Noon-4pm, through May 5th

◗ Mathers Museum of World Cultures — Exhibit, “Picturing Archeology”; 1-5pm, through July 1st

◗ IU Cinema — Film, Orson Welles’ “Chimes at Midnight”; 3pm

Welles

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◗ AmVets Post 2000 — Benefit dinner & silent auction for Special Olympics Indiana; 5pm

◗ Twin Lakes Recreation Center — Bleeding Heartland Rollergirls vs. Brew City Bruisers; 6pm

◗ Bloomington High School North Auditorium — Bloomington Symphony Orchestra, “Finale Fantastique”; 7:30-10pm

◗ IU Memorial Union, Whittenberger Auditorium — Film, “The Artist”; 8 & 11pm

◗ Buskirk-Chumley Theater — IU Soul Revue; 8pm

◗ IU Auditorium — IU Straight No Chaser; 8pm

◗ The Player’s Pub — Sheila Stephen; 8pm

◗ The Palace Theatre — Cowboy Sweethearts; 8pm

◗ Comedy Attic — Jeremy Essig; 8 & 10:30pm

◗ Max’s Place — Glenn Furr Agency; 9pm — Perfunctory This Band; 11pm

◗ Bear’s Place — Cooked Books, Crys, Kam Kama; 9pm

◗ The Bluebird — The Reverend Peyton’s Big Damn Band; 9pm

◗ The Bishop — Soul in the Hole with the Vallures; 10pm

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04/27/2012
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Alice Roosevelt Longworth, Andrew Luck, Barack Obama, Bloomington Playwrights Project, Book Corner, Cam Newton, Chicago Cubs, Contraception, Emil Verban Society, Fox News, George Will, Homophobia, Indianapolis Colts, Ivy Tech, Leo Tolstoy, Lesbian, Mark Kruzan, Mitt Romney, Monica Crowley, NFL, O'Bannon Institute for Community Service, Pat Murphy, Ronald Reagan, Rush Limbaugh, Sam Bradford, Sandra Fluke, Soma Coffee, Susan Jones, Suzanne Collins, The Hunger Games

The Pencil Today:

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THE QUOTE

“The secret of eternal youth is arrested development.” — Alice Roosevelt Longworth

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LUCK OF THE DRAW

This Andrew Luck fellow, who became an instant multi-millionaire in last night’s NFL draft, just might be able to run for King of Indiana in a few years if he has any kind of success at all on the football field.

He’s well-spoken and self-effacing, he has a dazzling smile, and it seems as though he’s got his feet on the ground. Hopefully, he’ll retain his positive character traits once he signs his obligatory obscenely lucrative contract with the Indianapolis Colts. Last year’s number one pick in the NFL draft, quarterback Cam Newton, inked a four-year, $22M deal with the Carolina Panthers.

The number one pick in 2010, the St Louis Rams’ Sam Bradford, scored a six-year, $78M contract but, of course, he’s white, as is Luck.

Luck-y

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Luck is 22 years old. Sure, he may seem mature beyond his years but scads of dough can tend to change any human being. I know that if I suddenly happened into tens of millions of dollars when I was 22, I probably would have become one of the world’s most unbearable people.

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WILL●HE●IS

One of the Boys of Soma, pistol-packin’ Pat Murphy, reports that George Will‘s appearance last night at the Ivy Tech Bloomington’s O’Bannon Institute for Community Service was eye-opening.

“He’s a smart guy,” Murphy, a dyed in the wool Dem allowed about the Republican darling. “He had some really perceptive things to say last night.”

Will

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Among other things, Will pointed out how difficult it will be for Mitt Romney to unseat Barack Obama in this fall’s presidential beauty contest. It’s a demographic thing, what with Romney expected to strike out big time with women, Latinos, and blacks.

Murphy added that Mayor Mark Kruzan asked Will if the Chicago Cubs will ever win the World Series. Will is a noted member of the Emil Verban Society, a boys club of Washington-insider Cubs fans (Ronald Reagan also was a member).

Will wouldn’t hazard a guess but did remind the crowd that the last time the Cubs won it all was two years before the death of Leo Tolstoy.

19th Century Man

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THE FOX PIGSTY

How about that blonde, Barbie Doll manqué from Fox News who tweeted the insult yesterday about the right wing’s current fave whipping girl, Sandra Fluke?

Crowley: News? Analyst?

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Fluke testified before a House Democrats caucus about the need for health insurers to cover contraception. Immediately, the anencephalics of this holy land jumped on her with both feet. Leading the bullying was Rush Limbaugh, who called her a “slut” and a “prostitute” on his nationally-broadcast radio upchuck fest.

Apparently, Fluke has announced she’s getting married. Fox News “analyst” Monica Crowley responded thusly in the Tweet-iverse:

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Knowing what we know about Fox News and the pan-troglodytes who watch it, implying that Fluke was thought to be a lesbian has to be an insult.

Problem is, Monica baby, Fluke testified about her own need for contraception. Lesbian sex does not result in pregnancy. Are we clear on that now?

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COLLINS WAS HUNGRY ONCE

Susan Jones, ex of the IU Enrollment Service operation, is working on a history of the Bloomington Playwrights Project.

Jones discovered recently that one of America’s hottest writers today wrote a couple of plays for the BPP back in the 1980s.

That’s right — Suzanne Collins, whose “Hunger Games” trilogy is de rigeur for literate teens (and even a lot of adults who sheepishly buy the books at the Book Corner), once was an aspiring scribe here. She earned a double major in Drama and Telecommunications from IU in 1985 and hung around town for a few years afterward.

Collins

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Sounds like a good reason to take in some BPP productions this year. Who knows which future superstar’s work you’ll be seeing?

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Electron Pencil event listings: Music, art, movies, lectures, parties, receptions, benefits, plays, meetings, fairs, conspiracies, rituals, etc.

Friday, April 27, 2012

◗ Mathers Museum of World Cultures — Exhibits, “Blended Harmonies: Music and Religion in Nepal”; through July 1st — “Esse Quam Videri (To Be, Rather than To Be Seen): Muslim Self Portraits; through June 17th — “From the Big Bang to the World Wide Web: The Origins of Everything”; through July 1st, 9am-4:30pm

◗ IU Grunwald (SOFA) Gallery — MFA & BFA Thesis 3 exhibitions; through May 5th

◗ Kinsey Institute Gallery — Art exhibit, “Man as Object: Reversing the Gaze”; 1:30-5pm

◗ IU HPER — Lecture, Jonathan Jarvis, director of the National Park Service; 3:30pm

◗ Thrive Health & Well-Being Center — Opening reception, Donna Headrick Moore scanner and pinhole photo exhibit; 5-8pm

◗ Madame Walker Theatre Center — Jazz on the Avenue; 6pm

◗ The Venue Fine Arts & Gifts — Reception for Dawn Adams exhibit, “The Art of Healing”; 6pm

◗ IU Grunwald (SOFA) Gallery — Reception, MFA & BFA 3 participants; 6pm

◗ IU Cinema — “Water and Power” by Pat O’Neill; 6:30pm

◗ Patricia’s Wellness Arts Cafe & Quilter’s Comfort Teas — Poetry, “Readings for Our Earth” & open mic; 7-9pm

◗ Rachael’s Cafe — Park Jefferson, Marital Roles, The Greater Good; 7:30pm

◗ Cafe Django — Svetla Vladeva and the Eastern European Ensemble; 7:30-10pm

◗ The Player’s Pub — Dicky James and the Blue Flames; 8pm

◗ IU Auditorium — Musical, “Young Frankenstein”; 8pm

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◗ IU Memorial Union, Whittenberger Auditorium — Film, “The Artist”; 8 & 11pm

◗ Comedy Attic — Kumail Nanjiani; 8 & 10:30pm

◗ The Bishop — Documentary film, “Color Me Obsessed,” on the Replacements; 8pm

◗ Max’s Place — Louis; 8pm

◗ The Bluebird — Andy Holinden; 8pm

◗ The Palace Theatre — “Songs: The Musical”; 8pm

◗ Bear’s Place — Zach Dubois; 9pm

◗ Max’s Place — Soul Kinks; 9pm

◗ Uncle Elizabeth’s — Vicci Laine & the West End Girls; 10pm & Midnight

◗ The Bishop — Dave Walter Karaoke; 11pm

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04/26/2012
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Accretive Health, F. Scott Fitzgerald, General Mills, Lori Swanson, Monroe County, Parade Magazine, Total Cereal

The Pencil Today:

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THE QUOTE

“Advertising is a racket, like the movies and the brokerage business. You cannot be honest without admitting that its constructive contribution to humanity is exactly minus zero.” — F. Scott Fitzgerald

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AND NOW,  A WORD FROM OUR SPONSOR

People were eating free bowls of Total cereal on the Monroe County Courthouse lawn yesterday morning.

A couple of big party tents and dozens of folding chairs were set up around long tables in front of the venerable domed structure. All were plastered with the Total brand name. People wearing Total t-shirts, vests, and smocks walked around the square, directing passersby to the giveaway.

It was all part of the “celebration” for Bloomington being named one of the 25 hardest-working towns in America by Parade Magazine Sunday.

The “Celebration” Raged On In 25 Cities

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At least that’s what the press release issued by Total claims. For my money it was nothing more than a cheap hey-look-at-me-stunt. In fact, the entire list of hardest-working towns thing is an ad man’s gimmick.

I’d like to think we’d keep the courthouse lawn fairly free of commercialism. And if we were going to allow businesses to tout their wares on it, those businesses would at least be local, not some multi-national, Fortune 500 concern with annual global net sales near $15B.

Corporate Headquarters, Golden Valley, Minnesota

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Perhaps the citizenry of Bloomington is too sophisticated for such obvious commercial flattery. I didn’t see many people flocking to the tents and tables even if they were going to get something for nothing.

But whoever gave Total and its parent, General Mills, the go-ahead to use our public space to hawk their breakfast cereal is easily flattered indeed.

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JUST FOLLOWING ORDERS

So, perhaps the best business to get involved in these days is bill collecting for hospitals.

One of the side effects of the sputtering, stuttering economy is the growing inability of poor and working class families to pay their hospital bills. Last year, hospitals in the United States provided some $39B in “uncompensated care,” meaning treatment for the uninsured.

One publicly traded hospital collection agency, Accretive Health, reported a 130 percent increase in company profits in 2011 over 2010.

Wait, did I type business? I meant racket.

“Now, Whaddabout D’at Money Y’Owe Me?”

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According to Minnesota Attorney General Lori Swanson, that fabulously successful business, Accretive, is planting collectors in hospitals to circulate among folks waiting to be treated in emergency rooms. The collectors are allegedly leaning on the sick and injured to pay off their outstanding hospital bills for previous services.

Accretive employees get to people after they’ve registered at the ER or the obstetrics desk. “Patients are harassed mercilessly,” one hospital staffer told the New York Times. If the patients owe on unpaid bills, the Accretive people stall and pressure them. Even those who don’t owe money are given the rough massage by Accretive employees — they’re badgered to pay in advance for treatment, a practice unheard of until recent times.

That, my friends, is a racket. And Accretive isn’t the only racketeer in on this dirty business.

In a more innocent day, we called such people goons or plug-uglies. You knew them because their fists were the size of small bowling balls and their noses were crooked. Now you can’t tell them apart from nurses and patient service representatives.

“Y’Don’t Want Me To Get Tough Now, Do Ya?”

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Swanson has filed a lawsuit against Accretive regarding its practices. She’s conferring with state and federal regulators over whether to file criminal charges.

I imagine there’ll be plenty of tut-tutting over these ghoulish corporate tactics. Nothing illustrates the transformation of health care from a civic good to a profit-making enterprise better than this story. The lament surely will go up: The corporate bean counters are now holding the strings, controlling our doctors and nurses!

I’d like to bring the discussion down to the individual level, though.

What kind of a human being would willingly work for a company like Accretive?

Yes, I know jobs are scarce these days, and one can’t be terribly picky about things. Someone offers you a job, you snap it up, even if it’s not the perfect position.

Still, how desperate do you have to be to agree to strongarm a pregnant woman whose pains are five minutes apart? Won’t trying to squeeze money out of people who are suffering appendicitis attacks or whose kids are burning up with fever all day eventually get you down even if you are keeping up with the mortgage payments?

“Hey Kid, Where’s Your Mudder? I Gotta Talk To Her’.”

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If the only thing that counts is the earning of regular pay, why not hire out as a contract killer or sell crystal meth to teenagers? I’ll bet those two vocations pay a hell of a lot better than Accretive does.

These days it’s a luxury to refuse to work for big bad Barnes & Noble, say, because it’s putting independent bookstores out of business. As long as this recession hangs around, you can table your finely honed social conscience. It’s better to eat and keep your home than it is to maintain some impossible standard of political purity.

The people who work for Accretive, though, have to dig being thumb-breakers, even if they’re not required to actually snap phalanges. Yeah, Accretive is an evil corporation if these charges are true but it’s made up of little individuals who are equally as amoral.

♢

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Electron Pencil event listings: Music, art, movies, lectures, parties, receptions, benefits, plays, meetings, fairs, conspiracies, rituals, etc.

Thursday, April 26, 2012

◗ Mathers Museum of World Cultures — Exhibits, “Blended Harmonies: Music and Religion in Nepal”; through July 1st — “Esse Quam Videri (To Be, Rather than To Be Seen): Muslim Self Portraits; through June 17th — “From the Big Bang to the World Wide Web: The Origins of Everything”; through July 1st, 9am-4:30pm

◗ American Red Cross — Thursday Book Sale; 9am-4pm

◗ City Hall — Today’s 1st Public Input Session for Switchyard Park; Noon

◗ Bloomington, Citywide — IU’s Arts Week Everywhere 2012; Ongoing, various times

◗ IU Grunwald (SOFA) Gallery — MFA & BFA Thesis 3 exhibitions; through May 5th

◗ IU Dunn Meadow — Rent-a-Puppy, play with puppies fundraiser for Bloomington Animal Shelter; 1pm

◗ IU Cinema — Lecture, Irene Taylor Brodsky discusses her documentary film, “Hear and Now”; 3pm

Irene Taylor Brodsky

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◗ Meadowood Retirement Community — Five Star Chef Challenge; 3:30-6:30pm

◗ IU Memorial Union, Whittenberger Auditorium — Presentation, Gayle Cook talks about “The Mystic of the Domes”; 4pm

◗ City Hall — Today’s 2nd Public Input Session for Switchyard Park; 5:30pm

◗ Bear’s Place — Aha! Quintet CD release party; 5:30pm

◗ IU Assembly Hall — IU Men’s Basketball 2012 Awards; 6pm

◗ Rhino’s All Ages Music Club — Benefit concert for Abilities Unlimited featuring Elmo Taylor and Don’t Call Me Betty; 6:30pm

◗ Pictura Gallery — Artist talk with Russian photographer Evgenia Arbugaeva; 7-8pm

◗ IU Memorial Union, Alumni Hall — Das Racist; 7pm

◗ IU Cinema — Documentary film, “Hear and Now,” by Irene Taylor Brodsky; 7pm

◗ Rachael’s Cafe — Drunken Moon Cabaret; 7:30-9pm

◗ The Player’s Pub — Open Mic; 7:30pm

◗ Yogi’s Grill — Poker; 7:30pm

◗ IU Auditorium — Musical, “Young Frankenstein”; 8pm

◗ Cafe Django — Seth Tsui Jazz Quartet; 8-10pm

◗ IU Memorial Union, Whittenberger Auditorium — Film, “The Artist”; 8 & 11pm

◗ Comedy Attic — Kumail Nanjiani; 8pm

◗ Bear’s Place — Karaoke; 9pm

◗ Max’s Place — Whiskey Mystic; 9pm

◗ The Bishop — Sweetback Sisters; 9:30pm

♢

04/25/2012
3 Comments
ABC News, Adlai E. Stevenson, Archie Bunker, Bill Lichtenberg, Bloomington High School South, Hillary Rodham Clinton, Jim Hightower, John Griffin Miller, John W. Tilford, Jonathan George, Robert Winningham, Royal Mail, Shelli Yoder, Todd Young, US Congress, US Postal Service

The Pencil Today:

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THE QUOTE

“I have been thinking that I would make a proposition to my Republican friends — that if they will stop telling lies about the Democrats, we will stop telling the truth about them.” — Adlai E. Stevenson

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THE DEMS COME OUT SWINGING?

Nobody threw a punch yesterday evening at the Bloomington High School South auditorium. Nobody even flung any mud.

The five Democratic candidates for Indiana’s 9th District seat in the US House of Representatives gathered at BHSS for their debate sponsored by the Monroe County Dems.

But, as candidate John Tilford said, it really was no debate at all considering the five agree on pretty much everything.

Tilford

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Which is true. Check the candidates’ websites or follow their pronouncements in the newspapers and you’ll come to the conclusion that each mirrors the others. They’re all center-slightly left Dems, just like the Big Dem in the White House.

The question Democratic voters must ask themselves when they vote in the primary on Tuesday, May 8th, is who can beat Todd Young.

Young

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My guess is it’ll be Shelli Yoder, former Miss Indiana and second runner-up in the 1993 Miss America pageant, or Jonathan George, retired US Air Force Brigadier General. The other three fellows in the race, John Griffin Miller, Tilford, and Robert Winningham don’t have a chance.

Yoder and George are the only ones who can sway voters who live outside Bloomington, New Albany, and Jeffersonville. See, they’ve got the liberal vote — sparse as it is; this is Indiana, after all — sewn up. But folks in Bedford and Seymour or who live in the vast rural areas of the District and who may still be in an anti-incumbent, anti-Washington mood just might look kindly upon Yoder or George.

I’ve heard from a number of political insiders who say it’s nearly impossible to get the back country folks in this downstate region to vote for a woman. My guess, though, is they recoil from what they consider “uppity” women, those who wear pantsuits and speak forcefully. Think Hillary Rodham Clinton.

Yoder (left) On The Campaign Trail

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Yoder, being a former beauty queen, just might overcome their prejudice. She’s charming and polite. She looks great in a bathing suit (she ranked high in that category in the Miss America contest.) She fits their conception of what an ideal woman should be.

Of course, there’s a lot more to Yoder than her looks and charm, but I’m trying to think like an antediluvian here. And if the Dems are going to unseat Tea Party darling Todd Young, that has to be taken into account.

George As A Young U-2 Pilot

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The situation is similar for George. He can’t be dismissed as a socialist, abortionist, homosexual-tolerating liberal. He was, after all, a man who commanded two US Air Force wings, led a B-2 Stealth Bomber squadron, and was in charge of more than 10,000 US soldiers training Afghan security forces.

If the Dems have any hope against Young this November, they’re going to have to imagine what Archie Bunker might think.

What Would Archie Bunker Think?

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THE POSTMAN ALWAYS RINGS…, FOR THE TIME BEING

So, the US Postal Service is going bust.

Or is it?

News reports of late suggest the Postal Service is operating under crushing debt and is on its last legs. The US Senate is pondering whether or not to give the USPS an $11B handout this fall. ABC News says the bailout is aimed at paying off the service’s debt and get it to “become profitable again.”

Conventional wisdom has it that the USPS is a dinosaur that deserves a quick death, what with most communications being done by electronic device these days.

When was the last time you wrote a letter to a friend? I mean actually applying pen to paper, tri-folding sheets neatly, slipping them into an envelope, licking the flap closed, affixing a stamp to it, and walking it down to the mailbox.

For that matter, do you even know where the mailbox is anymore?

Relic?

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Dependable old liberal commentator Jim Hightower has a different take on the state of what we used to call the post office. (h/t to Bill Lichtenberg of Forest Park, Illinois.)

Hightower points out that all the doom and gloom surrounding the USPS is being advanced by pols at the behest of private letter and package services like FedEx. Nothing would make those for-profit businesses happier than for the federal government subsidized service to disappear from the face of the Earth. Hightower says the half a buck you drop on a First Class stamp is a fantastic deal, unlike any deal the private carriers can even approach.

As for the profitability issue, Hightower reminds us the USPS has never been profitable, nor was it intended to be. Neither, he says, have the Pentagon, the FBI, or many other federal services.

Check out Hightower’s piece; it’ll put the USPS in a different light for you.

Hightower

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By the way, linguistic observer Bill Bryson points out the irony that here in the US, we mail a letter which is sent on its way via the Postal Service. In Great Britain, they post a letter using the Royal Mail.

♢

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Electron Pencil event listings: Music, art, movies, lectures, parties, receptions, benefits, plays, meetings, fairs, conspiracies, rituals, etc.

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

◗ Bloomington, Citywide — IU’s Arts Week Everywhere 2012; Ongoing, various times

◗ Grunwald (SOFA) Gallery — MFA & BFA Thesis 3 exhibitions; through May 5th

◗ IU Neal-Marshall Black Culture Center — Black faculty and Staff Recognition Ceremony; Noon

◗ The Kinsey Institute Gallery — “Man as Object: Reversing the Gaze,” exhibit, art by women examining men; Ongoing, 1:30-5pm

◗ IU Franklin Hall, Room 303 — Study Abroad 101; 4pm

◗ IU Medical Arts Classroom Building — Credit Counseling; 5:30pm

◗ IU Jacobs School of Music, Musical Arts Center — IU Black Graduates Congratulatory Ceremony; 7pm

◗ Classic Lanes — Poker; 7pm

◗ The Player’s Pub — Stardusters; 7:30pm

◗ Max’s Place — Open mic; 7:30pm

◗ Bear’s Place — Jered Jacobs, Matt Woods, and David Bartlett; 8pm

◗ The Bluebird — Rod Ruffcurls and the Benchpress; 8pm

◗ IU Kirkwood Observatory — Star-Gazing Open House; 9pm (rain or shine)

◗ Uncle Elizabeth’s — Free billiards; 10pm & midnight

◗ Jake’s Nightclub — Battle of the Bands; 10pm

♢

04/24/2012
1 Comment
Bloomington High School South, Book Corner, Buskirk-Chumley Theater, Civil Rights, Cold War, End Times, George Carlin, Maarten Bout, Mark Twain, Mayan Calendar, Mrs. Robinson, Nuclear War, Rufus Wainwright, Simon & Garfunkel, Soviet Union, Tom Roznowski, US Congress, Women's Movement

The Pencil Today:

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THE QUOTE

“If the world comes to an end, I want to be in Cincinnati. Everything comes there ten years later.” — Mark Twain

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THE END

When I was a kid, magazines often carried cartoons featuring a robed, bearded guy walking the big city streets and carrying a sign that read, “The End Is Near.”

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Usually the punch line would be delivered by a couple of passing businessmen, one of whom would muse to the other on how that end would affect his promotion or raise or his wife’s meatloaf.

Looking back, I suppose those cartoons reflected our need to deal with the specter of nuclear annihilation. On a less literal level, the general uneasiness over the burgeoning civil rights and women’s movements caused people to realize the world they were familiar with really was coming to an end.

May As Well Laugh

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By and by, the Soviet Union collapsed and blacks and women began taking their rightful places in society. Lo and behold, the world didn’t end.

Now, we’re back to wondering if the end is near again. Climate change, our own vulnerability in the wake of 9/11, a crashed economy, internet panics, genetically modified foodstuffs, a black man as president, gay marriage, and even the Mayan calendar silliness have caused many to wonder if these are the last days.

They’re not. As George Carlin observed, we give ourselves too much credit. We can’t destroy the Earth, he said. It’s been here for billions of years and our societies have only been around for a few tens of thousands of years.

Carlin

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The world has been struck by comets and asteroids, it’s been convulsed by earthquakes, it has experienced droughts and floods and been scoured by Ice Ages. Still it spins and life on it continues to grow and diversify.

Carlin even mentioned the crazy glut of discarded plastic bags accumulating in our oceans and across the land. He said the Earth, as it’s done since it came together eons ago, will just come up with a way of incorporating them into itself.

Part Of The Earth Now

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We can’t end the Earth, Carlin concluded, we can only end ourselves.

And, I’d add, even that’d be awfully tough to accomplish. We tried our damnedest to wipe ourselves out back in the 1930s and 40s. World War II was the most violent spasm humanity has ever gone through. Anywhere from 60 to 100 million people were slaughtered during the hostilities. Yet here we are.

We’ve figured out a lot of things since the first hominids swung down from the trees and began branching off into proto-humanity. One thing we haven’t figured out, though, is perspective. Sometimes it seems we’re even regressing on that front.

In the 1960s, people who warned that the end was near were considered cartoon characters. Today they’re called in by the cable news channels to offer expert opinions.

♢

GOIN’ TO THE CANDIDATES’ DEBATE

Remember that line from Simon & Garfunkel’s “Mrs. Robinson”? Make sure to catch the vid at the bottom of this post.

Just a reminder: get yourself over to Bloomington High School South tonight for the debate between the five Democratic candidates for US Congress in Indiana’s 9th District.

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BHSS is located at 1965 S. Walnut Street. The debate begins at 7:00 and runs for an hour and a half.

If you can’t make it, at least visit the candidates’ websites:

The primary is Tuesday, May 8th. The winner takes on Republican Todd Young in the November general election.

♢

SINGING THE NEWS

Got two pieces of news at Bloomington Information Central — AKA the Book Corner — yesterday.

First, Maarten Bout, one of the big chiefs over at the Buskirk-Chumley Theater, was brimming with the news that the first show of the 2012-2013 season has been set. Rufus Wainwright will play the venue on Tuesday, August 7th.

Wainwright

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A few minutes later, Tom Roznowski ambled in, wearing his trademark fedora and a smart gray-on-gray retro ensemble. Bloomington’s storyteller, singer, author, and general custodian said he’s got a show lined up Saturday in Greenfield and his next hometown gig will be Mother’s Day, Sunday, May 13th, 6:00 pm at The Player’s Pub.

Roznowski

♢

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Electron Pencil event listings: Music, art, movies, lectures, parties, receptions, benefits, plays, meetings, fairs, conspiracies, rituals, etc.

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

◗ Bloomington, Citywide — IU’s Arts Week Everywhere 2012; Ongoing, various times

◗ The Kinsey Institute Gallery — “Man as Object: Reversing the Gaze,” exhibit, art by women examining men; Ongoing, 1:30-5pm

◗ Mathers Museum of World Cultures — Exhibition, “Esse Quam Videri (To Be Rather Than To Seem),” featuring Muslim self-portraits; 9am-4:30pm

◗ Grunwald (SOFA) Gallery — IU MFA & BFA Thesis 3 Exhibitions; Noon-XXX, through May 5th

◗ Sembower Field — IU Baseball vs. Miami of Ohio; 4pm

◗ Myers Hall, Indiana Molecular Biology Institute — Seminar, keynote speaker Dr. Don Ennis, University of Louisiana, “Mechanisms of Mycobacterium Marinum Transmission between Fish”; 4pm

◗ Puccini’s La Dolce Vita — Young Professionals of Bloomington monthly meeting; 5:30-8pm

◗ The Venue Fine Arts & Gifts — Greg Jacobs presents “The Art of Wellness — Finding Wellness in a Health-Challenged Society”; 5:30pm

◗ Bloomington City Hall, McCloskey Room — Erin Asher Meager presents “Creative Healing,” South Central Arts WORK Indiana meeting; 5:30-7pm

◗ First Christian Church — Money Smart Week & the Indiana Attorney General’s office present “Schemes, Scams, and Flim-Flams”; 5:30pm

◗ Jake’s Nightclub — Karaoke Tuesdays; 6pm

◗ Patricia’s Wellness Arts Cafe & Quilter’s Comfort Teas — Unfinished Object Night & Up-cycle Evening; 6:30-8:30pm

◗ Bloomington High School South — Debate, Democratic candidates for US Congress, Indiana’s 9th District; 7-8:30pm

◗ Cafe Django — Jazz Jam; 7-10pm

◗ First United Methodist Church — Symphonic Bells of Bloomington Spring Concert; 7:30-8:30pm

◗ Show-Me’s — Poker; 7:30pm

◗ The Player’s Pub — Blues Jam; 8pm

◗ Farm Bloomington, Root Cellar — Tuesday Trivia; 8-10pm

◗ The Palace Theatre of Brown County, Nashville– Cowboy Sweethearts; 8pm

◗ Madame Walker Theatre Center — Auditions for “Queen Esther: A Fearless Shero”; 6-8pm

◗ Max’s Place — Scott Bender’s Showcase; 8pm

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AS PROMISED

♢

04/23/2012
Leave a comment
Age of Reagan, Bloomington Indiana, Book Corner, Frank Sinatra, Hoboken New jersey, Jamie Dimon, Joe Lieberman, John Edwards, Labor Unions, Lloyd Blankfein, Parade Magazine, Prostitution, Santa Clause Indiana, Secret Service, Vikram Pandit, World Book and Copyright Day

The Pencil Today:

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THE QUOTE

“Read The Electron Pencil everyday, especially now that we have daily event listings. Scroll down to our Go section. What are you waiting for?” — Big Mike Glab

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WORK, WORK, WORK, WORK, WORK….

So, Bloomington has been blessed by Parade Magazine as the fourth-hardest working town in these Great United States, Inc.

I don’t know if Bloomingtonians are dancing in the streets just yet (I’m still sitting in my underwear in my garage office typing out this bilge, after all) but I’m going to have to dump some cold water on all the glee.

Typical Monday Morning In Bloomington

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What in the world does this arbitrary list mean? Do the people of, say, Santa Clause, Indiana, which is not on the list, just sit around dreaming of Christmas? Does the populace of Hoboken, New Jersey refuse to work because they’re busy listening to hometown boy Frank Sinatra’s records?

“I Just Don’t Have The Time To Work.”

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Here’s the most troubling thing about Parade’s survey and findings: Bloomington ranked so high mainly because our citizens are, as a group, the most willing in the United States to work weekends (“an astounding 15 points above the national average”).

Ever since unions started becoming unfashionable and workers rights turned into a pie-in-the-sky ideal in this Land of Reagan, Americans have been compelled to work longer hours and sacrifice more of their personal and family lives for employers who have been laying them off as never before. The weekend as well as the lunch hour and, for that matter, even an uninterrupted dinner have come to be viewed as luxuries.

I wouldn’t throw a party for the Parade ranking.

♢

READ TO LIVE — LIVE TO READ

Happy World Book and Copyright Day!

Bet you didn’t know this holiday existed. Unless I missed the news, I don’t think there’ll be a parade down Kirkwood Avenue today in honor of it.

Why Not?

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Here’s what I suggest you do — take your favorite book to work or school today and just give it to somebody. It could be a stranger or your best friend. No matter, just give her or him a book.

And if the loss of the book makes you feel deprived, I have a simple remedy for that, as well. Go to your local independent bookseller (he he) and buy a new one.

Simple, no?

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WELL, I NEVER!

So, John Edwards goes on trial today for the heinous crime of conspiring to conceal his extramarital affair during his aborted presidential run in 2008. Additionally, the Secret Service/prostitutes scandal continues to race along.

This weekend whiny Joe Lieberman, Independent (read: incapable of commitment) senator from Connecticut, wagged his finger and revealed that one of the offending Secret Service agents actually stayed at the hotel where President Obama was scheduled to occupy when he arrived in Colombia. The horror!

Lieberman: They Had Sex, Those Fiends!

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Other than obvious atrocities like shooting an unarmed black teenager on a dark street in a white neighborhood or Mel Gibson offering his opinion on anything, the worst thing you can do in this holy land is have anything other than missionary position sex outside the sacred bonds of marriage.

Ergo, Secret Service agents have been fired and may yet be prosecuted and a presidential candidate whose top talking point was the poor eventually may be sentenced to time in the joint.

Meanwhile, these fine citizens continue to roam the streets freely:

The Unindicted

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♢

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Electron Pencil event listings: Music, art, movies, lectures, parties, receptions, benefits, plays, meetings, fairs, conspiracies, rituals, etc.

Monday, April 23, 2012

◗ Bloomington, Citywide — IU’s Arts Week Everywhere 2012; Ongoing, various times

◗ The Kinsey Institute Gallery — “Man as Object: Reversing the Gaze,” exhibit, art by women examining men; Ongoing

From the “Man as Object” Exhibition

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◗ IU Memorial Union, State Room East — Lecture, Dr. Joseph Collentine, chair of Modern Languages at Northern Arizona University, “On the Compatibility between SLA Corpus and Variationist Research”; 2:30pm

◗ IU Asian Culture Center — Henna 101 with introduction and hands-on application; 5:30pm

◗ IU Auditorium — “Spirit of Indiana Showcase,” annual student-athlete awards gala; 6:30pm

◗ Bell Trace Health and Living Center — “Life in a British Period Drama,” 4-session class on British class life; 6:30pm

◗ Madame Walker Theatre Center — Auditions for “Queen Esther — A Fearless Shero”; 6-8pm

◗ IU Hutton Honors College, Great Room — Indiana Review Editors Showcase; 7-8:30pm

◗ The Player’s Pub — Songwriter Showcase; 8pm

◗ The Bishop — No Requests with DJ Burke; 8pm

◗ The Bluebird — Dave Walters Karaoke; 8pm

◗ The Bishop — Spirit of ’68 Presents: WOODS with Mmoss & Apache Dropout; 9pm

◗ The Bluebird — Laidback Luke; 9pm

Laidback Luke

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04/22/2012
Leave a comment
Barack Obama, Birthers, Bloomington High School North, Bloomington High School South, Dianne Feinstein, IDS, John Griffin Miller, John W. Tilford, Jonathan George, Little 500, Orly Taitz, Robert Winningham, Sacramento Bee, Shelli Yoder, Soma Coffee, Stephen Hawking, Survey USA, The Onion, The Ten Commandments, Todd Young, US Congress

The Pencil Today:

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THE QUOTE

“We are just an advanced breed of monkeys on a minor planet of a very average star. But we can understand the universe. That makes us something very special.” — Stephen Hawking

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THE TRADITIONS OF THE LITTLE 500

One of the Boys of Soma, who asked not to be identified, revealed Saturday morning that he did not find any passed-out drunk IU students on his front porch, as he usually does every year during Little 500 weekend.

He did say he found a number of slices of pizza on the lawn, though.

The Delta Gamma sorority won the women’s Little Five on Friday. The Indiana Daily Student reports that three ancient Greek letters won the men’s race Saturday afternoon. The Cyrillic alphabet of the Slavic languages is expected to appeal the result.

Controversy After This Year’s Little 500

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KIDS ASK THE DARNEDEST THINGS

Mark off Tuesday, April 24th, on your calendars. Bloomington’s teenagers that evening will hold the Democratic candidates’ feet to the fire in a debate between the five contenders at Bloomington High School South.

The Kids Take Over

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Students from both South and North will hurl question at Gen. Jonathan George, John Griffin Miller, Col. John Tilford, Robert Winningham, and Shelli Yoder for an hour and a half beginning at 7:00pm.

The Indiana primary will be held Tuesday, May 8th, with the winner among the five Democrats going against first-term Republican Todd Young in November.

The things that make most high school kids annoying should come in quite handy in the debate. Corporate media animals generally ask polite or at least irrelevant questions. The kids, though, being direct and irreverent, ought to pepper the candidates with queries about the schools, the environment, our endless wars, taxes, and other things that, like, y’know, affect us.

Todd Young looks like a good bet to keep his seat in the general election but I can always hope.

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IT’S A MAD, MAD, MAD, MAD COUNTRY

Gather all the children and bring them indoors. Lock your doors and windows and pull down the shades.

This holy land has officially and incontrovertibly gone mad.

Orly Taitz is running for the United States Senate from California.

Taitz

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Taitz is challenging the Golden State’s senior senator, Dianne Feinstein, who’s been in office since 1992. California runs a blanket non-partisan primary for statewide elective office. The candidates who finish first and second in the June 5th primary will face each other in the November general election.

I have no idea how this one got past me. Apparently, Taitz has been running since early November, when she told some EPA-hating, Ann Coulter-carrying news aggregator website about her plans. The announcement of her candidacy did not cause the nation’s news media to activate the Emergency Alert System.

I may even have seen a quickie story on her quixotic run but the rational part of my brain reflexively interpreted it as an Onion-style satire.

Really, everything about Taitz seems to be an Onion satire. For instance, when she was considering her run for the Senate back in September, she told the Sacramento Bee that one of the reasons she has a good chance to win is that she speaks Hebrew.

Hebrew?

Perhaps she once watched the Cecil B, DeMille epic “The Ten Commandments” and upon learning it was made in Hollywood, concluded that biblical Israel was really in California.

This Occurred Near Anaheim

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I mean, what else could explain Taitz-ness other than her and her followers’ inability to distinguish between reality and fiction?

Taitz’s claim to fame is her role as “Queen of the Birthers.” She’s certain Barack Obama has falsified his birth certificate, his Social Security number, and his college transcripts, among other nefarious acts, to become the first secret Muslim mole elected president. She believes Obama comes from Kenya, which is fitting because she comes from the moon.

Orly Taitz’s Childhood Home

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Survey USA earlier this month conducted a poll of likely California voters and found that the incumbent Feinstein leads all comers with 51 percent. Taitz in the same poll drew a single percentage point, placing her in a tie for fourth pace with 11 other candidates and above nine candidates who couldn’t even garner one percent of the vote.

Still, some political animals think Taitz could sneak into the second spot based purely on name recognition alone.

Democracy, my friends, can be a very dangerous thing.

♢

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WHAT TO DO? WHAT TO DO?

[Ed.’s Note: Welcome to the next phase of The Electron Pencil’s growth. From here on out, we’ll be running daily events listings in a section we’re naming Go. Many of this weekend’s listings are late because we’re still messing with the layout and design. What you see here now might not be what you see in ten minutes. So consider this installment of Go to be your beta version. Indulge us — we want to see how things look and work. Be here tomorrow, though, for the real thing. Thanks.]

Electron Pencil event listings: Music, art, movies, lectures, parties, receptions, benefits, plays, meetings, fairs, conspiracies, rituals, etc. (alphabetical venue info)

Sunday, April 22, 2012

◗ Kent Farm, IU Research & Teaching Preserve — Bird hike with IU Biology Professors Susan and Jim Hengeveld; 7am

◗ IU Tennis Center — IU Women’s Tennis vs. Northwestern; 11am

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◗ Madame Walker Theatre — Wet Your Pants Comedy Film Fest; 12pm

◗ Sembower Field — IU Baseball vs. Georgie Southern; 1pm

◗ IU Softball Field — IU Softball vs. Northwestern, doubleheader; 2pm

◗ Sweeney Hall — Music & Video Recital, Jeffrey Haas and John Gibson; 2pm

◗ Monroe Lake, Paynetown SRA — Monroe Lake Volunteer Call-Out; 3:30pm

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◗ Player’s Pub — Benefit for the Red Cross; 3-8pm

◗ Max’s Place — Project School Poetry Ready; 3:30pm

◗ The Kinsey Institute — opening reception, exhibit, “Man as Object: Reversing the Gaze”; 4-7pm

◗ Bub’s Burgers — Poker; 5:30pm

◗ IU Cinema — DW Griffith film, “Orphans of the Storm”; 6:30pm

◗ Bear’s Place — Ryder Film Series: “Chico and Rita”; 7pm

◗ Buskirk-Chumley Theater — Trashion Refashion; 7pm

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◗ IU Auditorium — European Union Youth Orchestra, 7pm

◗ Merrill Hall, Recital Hall — All-Campus Orchestra, Benjamin Bolter, conductor; 8:30pm

◗ IU Auditorium — “An Overture to Europe Day” Reception, 9pm

♢

04/20/2012
2 Comments
Aztec, Barbara Mikkelson, Bloomingfoods, Buddy Love, Burger King Whopper, Carminic Acid, Cochineal, Dean Martin, Franz Kafka, Jerry Lewis, John Gerard, Lycopene, Maya, Oreos, Quinoa, Snopes.com, Starbucks, The Nutty Professor, Tombstone Pizza, Whole Foods Market

The Pencil Today:

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THE QUOTE

“So long as you have food in your mouth, you have solved all the questions for the time being.” — Franz Kafka

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FOOD, DANGEROUS FOOD

I was just wondering how long our food fetishist mania will last.

Oh, I’m not talking about the move toward more natural and locally-produced foods and homemade meals. We all agree it’s better to eat a nice bowl of stir-fried vegetables and brown rice than it is to scarf a Whopper, Coke, and fries.

A Double Whopper With Cheese

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I make a banana bread that’s twice as tasty as a Sara Lee cake. My oatmeal cookies and Italian butter cookies make Oreos taste like so many plastic lids.

Sure, it’s a big investment of time and labor to eat well and right but we have to be creative about the whole deal. For instance, I try to cook two or three dishes every Sunday afternoon, making enough to last the rest of the week. Once a month I make a huge batch of spaghetti sauce, freezing it in four separate containers and then using one a week for my rigatoni fix.

My Heroin

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A frozen pizza takes 25 minutes or so before you can dig in. My homemade pizza takes about three hours, including the time it takes to make the dough and let it rise. But man, when I eat it I know I’m doing better than Tombstone (which, by the way isn’t at all bad tasting.)

When I make my own pizza, I control the amount of cheese I put on it. I throw on good green things like spinach. I cut down on the salt and add more garlic powder to the sauce to make up for it. I use whole wheat flour. It’s a flat out better food than something I grab from the freezer.

Nobody can argue that making your own meals, using wholesome ingredients, and minimizing the use of white sugars and white flours isn’t smarter than the alternative.

Brown Is Better

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But I can find a lot to argue about with the people who are obsessed with food. The Starbucks switch from using cochineal as a food coloring is a case in point.

The coffee chain has been using cochineal to make its some of its drinks and food look red for years. Cochineal is South American and Mexican bug whose shell weight is nearly 25 percent carminic acid. People have been using carminic acid extract mixed with elemental salts to produce a red dye for 500 years.

Carminic Acid-Covered Cactus

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In fact, the sainted Mayas and Aztecs revered the insect and its dye so much they often used them as currency and tribute. I call the two peoples sainted because so many folks today speak in reverent terms about them, as if anything and everything they did was superior to our venal, corrupt, tyrannical society.

Some of those folks, no doubt, jumped on the viral bandwagon that made Starbucks stop using cochineal.

It’s ironic because cochineal is a natural food product. And I was under the impression that we were trying to get more natural in our grub. (This despite the fact that things like arsenic are as natural as, oh, quinoa, a South American grain popular with the Bloomingfoods and Whole Foods Market crowds.)

Mango-Quinoa Salad

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So thousands of people got online and shrieked at Starbucks to stop using cochineal. Why, I don’t know. One theory has it that vegans are repulsed by the use of the once-living critter product.

Now that’s ironic because I can’t picture many vegans having a jones for Starbucks’ Strawberries & Cream Frappucino, Strawberry Banana Smoothie, Raspberry Swirl Birthday Cake Pop (what the hell ever that is), Mini-Donut with pink icing, and the Red Velvet Whoopie Pie. These are the only products Starbucks dumps cochineal into. My understanding is that vegans want only the purest, non-animal foods in their bodies, not products whose names sound like sex toys or Cracker Jack prizes.

The Red Velvet Whoopie Pie?

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Snopes.com figures the whole thing is the result of the “Ugh, gross!” reaction.

“Our distaste at the thought of ingesting bugs is based on cultural factors rather than the properties or flavors of the insects themselves,” Barbara Mikkelson writes on the urban legend-busting website. “Western society eschews (rather than chews) bugs, hence the widespread ‘Ewww!’ reaction to the news that some of our favorite foods contain insect extract.”

Here’s the funny thing: Starbucks now will begin replacing cochineal with lycopene extract from tomatoes. The tomato was long thought to be a poisonous fruit, especially after a 16th Century British barber named John Gerard wrote that tomatoes contain deadly toxins. Brits and American colonists refused to eat tomatoes for the next 200 years based on Gerard’s single statement, which was probably based more on the fact that the dark and uncivilized Spaniards and Italians ate them as much as on the presence in tomatoes of trace amounts of the glycoalkaloid tomatine.

A Plateful Of Poison!

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Tomatoes really didn’t become popular for use in America until the late 1800s, so strong was the mistaken notion that they were noxious.

If you’re a glass-half-empty kind of person, you might conclude we haven’t learned a thing in half a millennium.

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THAT’S AMORE

The only song I can think of that mentions pizza is this ditty by Dean Martin.

You may know this already, but Martin was never much of a drinker, despite putting on a lush-y facade in his eponymous 1960s television variety show.

Dean Martin, Buddy Love (With Stella Stevens), and Jerry Lewis

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And another thing, he wasn’t the inspiration for the Buddy Love character in the Jerry Lewis movie, “The Nutty Professor.” Buddy Love was an oily, arrogant, perfectly tailored ladies man who’d take over a piano bar and sing love songs at the drop of a hat. Truth was, Buddy Love was Lewis’s own doppelganger.

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